A/N 1: Wow, lots of inner monologue so far. But there will be mucho dialogue in the back half, so you'll get your fix, if you want. Aaand… the frantic PMs have begun. As I said to cifan (check out her fun fics, plz!), 'Expect to be surprised, saddened, touched, and thrilled (I hope!). You'll find out what Goren knows - that Eames is more complex and fragile than most people realise!'

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CHAPTER FOUR: UNCOUPLED

Las Vegas
One year ago

"What are you doing here?" He'd found her at the hotel bar, thinking about her partner, their partnership. Her hurtful words, his hurtful silences, how close they'd come to throwing it all away, how far she was willing to go to fix it. "Where's your stuff?"

What was she doing here? This wasn't like her. "This isn't like me," she said firmly, not yet showing the effects of the alcohol in her system.

"What?"

"I don't want to do this any more. This isn't me. This isn't who I want to be."

This time last year, she'd been so happy to get away. From Jo and Declan Gage, Wiznesky, Dockerty, Lyons, and from Bobby and his relentless masochism. This year, when she really actually knew how bad it could get, she should be over the moon. But she wasn't. Her mind was on her partner. Did he wonder if she was coming back? Would he ever be better? Had she hurt him too much? Not enough?

She looked at Phillip, sucking her Margarita through a bright pink straw. They'd had seven beautiful weeks together, and she'd been so happy. For years, this had been the highlight of her life. So why, this year, did she make a beeline for the reservation desk at the last minute to ask if there was a spare bed anywhere? She knew why, but she refused to think about it.

Phil leaned in and took her hand. He was so beautiful to her, still. She felt herself softening, and she saw Phil see it. He was a good cop.

"Who do you want to be, Alexandra?" He whispered.

She reached out and caressed his lips with the backs of her fingers. "I want to be alive," she whispered back. She shouldn't be touching him. This was dangerous.

"I can make you feel alive," he murmured. So good with words. But he didn't know what he was really saying.

"I know," she said. "You can. You did." She withdrew her fingers from his face and her other hand from his. She downed her drink in one swig and hopped off the bar stool. "My stuff is in my room. MY room. I'm sorry. I didn't really think to let you know because… we both agreed this didn't mean anything." God, she was so sick of stuff not meaning anything. Of being a person who wasn't supposed to care, who people assumed didn't care. "So, since I owe you that much, I'll say goodbye in person. Goodbye, Phillip."

Phillip's soft face crumpled, and he took a step towards her. "I didn't know you wanted it to mean something."

"I didn't." The reality of what she'd been doing these past years coiled in her stomach, making her nauseated. She really needed to get out of here.

"But I already got our usual suite!" Phillip had switched from patient and loving, to manipulative and a little domineering. He'd clearly seen the writing on the wall, and was going on the offensive. He was a good cop.

"Oh please, like you couldn't find someone else to warm your bed!" Oh please, take the bait and storm off. Let me wallow in peace.

"I don't want anyone else, I want you. I need you." See? Good with words, but again…

"You don't need me. You only see me one week a year." Uh oh. Now she was getting emotional. Shut up, shut up! Now was not the time for the truth to start leaking out. "Not being able to do without someone for one week a year, that's needing someone." She realised instantly that she'd said too much.

"One week a year, huh? Well I hear it gets better with time. A man might not be able to do without you for a week, Alexandra, but I hear he can do without you for five months."

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A/N 2: BTW, you pack of voracious, bloodthirsty tiger sharks get a new chapter when the one after it is done. It's necessary in order for me to keep the consistent dribble of interesting info, without giving too much away or frapping the timeline. But keep in mind that reviews help too! Aand… since I can't thank her/him in PM, thanks to anonymous reviewer law order ci!

Also… some folks have PM'd me to ask me what I think about 'Loyalty'. I haven't seen it, since I'm in Canada, but in general, while I'm sad that there won't be any more G/E episodes, I feel (silly though it may be) excited for G and E. Assuming they both survive (touch wood), it's a new chapter for them! I feel a sense of anticipation – as if they really were moving on to new things!