Chapter 38 – What Are You Hungry For?

Disclamier - The characters are not mine, the forward movement it.

Looking into her eyes Rick knew Kate was about to break. He could feel Kate's body betraying her steely gaze as her body shuddered with nervous tremors. He tried to calm her with words, "I'd like to make from today forward the sequel."

Kate moved to speak. She saw the 'but' forming on his lips even before he said it. She hated 'buts.'

Rick quieted her with a look. "But first, my turn to talk…" He slipped a hand inside her coat and drew aimless circles on back. "I can work on accepting that when your mother's case comes up or your PTSD is triggered that you may need to step back, take a breath. But you need to be able to tell me that you need to step back. No more 'Castle get out' no more 'Castle we are thru' no more 'good-bye Rick'. Those phrases are deal breakers. Do you know how many times I have gone to bed wondering if you would ever talk to me again?"

Kate winced and pulled back to search his eyes for the answer.

With a soft kiss Rick silenced her attempt to speak. "That was a rhetorical question."

His fingers played up and down her spin. "In my family we talk, we fight, we make up – but we never shut the door. Can you deal with that?"

"What kind of deal are we talking about?"

"I have my ideas." Rick pondered for a moment longer, wondering if he wanted to say the word 'Josh'. Just thinking the word 'Josh' caused bile to rise in his throat. "First I need to ask, what I should have asked before."

Kate leveled her eyes at him and braced herself. "Ask."

Speaking in a hushed tone Rick asked, "When did you break up with Josh? You told me why, but not when."

A smile spread across her face it, illuminated from the inside out. That smile. How he loved that particular smile, confident, shy, embarrassed and flirty all in one. "That day you visited me in the hospital, that same day – after he finished rounds."

"But you still lied and disappeared. You cloaked yourself in silence." The way he said 'lied' cut like a knife. As much as Rick had told her he understood why she lied, Kate needed to remind herself that her lying hurt him deeply. The lie might be forgiven but not forgotten.

Kate struggled to gather her words, "Rick, I knew what door needed to be shut. The challenge was opening the next one and walking through it."

Rick tangled his hand in her hair, a curly mess – courtesy of the early afternoon breeze. "It's open now right?" He pressed his lips against her cheek and with a tentative smile, his words playing on her face, "I have a request."

"We've come this far."

"As much as I love and want you. And God I want you. Don't ask me to risk my family or you. Don't look into your mother's case. Leave it alone. Whoever is protecting you and Roy's family made it very clear that if you investigate it, you won't be safe."

With tears welling in his eyes and a hitch in his voice he carried on, "Because if, no well when, at least I hope you do – stay…stay at my place then my family is at risk too. I won't do that to Alexis and Mother."

Score two points for Dr. Burke. He had asked her what she would do when Rick asked her to leave the case alone, to walk away from her mother and a portion of her own identity.

Kate inhaled deeply. She knew it was coming, had prepared to hear him ask, yet it still stung "One condition. Scratch that…'condition' sounds like a contract negotiation. Promise me that you will let the case go. Let it rest. And if your mysterious friend calls, you tell me."

Scrubbing his hands across his face and through his hair, Rick looked at Kate with sorrowful eyes. "Not sure I can promise you that."

"You're going to have to try. No more secrets." It took Kate a moment to be able to say it, to gather the strength to admit a weakness, to make one more request. "Please take down the murder board."

Rick reacted with a tentative smile, not knowing if she was truly ready for his response. "I already did."

"Good. Because – I think knowing…" Kate stopped and pulled Rick to her, speaking softly into his mouth, feeling him suck the words out of her as she breathed – "…when the board is within my reach…" and then she looked up and winked at him "…WHEN I stay at your place. If the board is so close to me it might be like an alcoholic in a bar, too much temptation. Not a good idea."

A cloud crossed Kate's face, her eyes grew murky. She desperately wanted to ask why Rick took it down, where it was now, if something happened to him what happened to it and who knew about it. But was she ready to hear the answers?

Rick could see her slipping away, a mask of independence and solitude forming on her face.

"Apples." He whispered "Apples." In a deep guttural tone he whispered it again. "Apples."

'Apples?' "Really Rick? 'Apples'." Kate feebly attempted to wiggle from his grasp.

Rick wasn't giving in, in fact he tightened his legs around her and held her tighter. Didn't she know by now his number one defense mechanism was deflecting? "We need a safe word and 'apples' is my safe word and I am willing to share it with you."

"Seriously? A safe word?" Oh the stare of death, the eye roll – how he loved how she talked as much with her eyes as her mouth.

"Katherine Beckett, get your mind out of the gutter. A safe word, as in I won't let you shut me out. If I feel like you are shutting me out then 'apples' it is."

"You mean like right now?"

"Yes, well not shutting me out…" he quirked an eyebrow at her "…maybe slipping away."

With a guilty little nod she confirmed his suspicions. Kate leaned forward and buried her face in his chest. "Cherries."

"Cherries?"

"My safe word. You say 'apples' I need to stop and listen. I say 'cherries' you need to give me room to breathe, to pull back and regroup, but not about or from us."

With a twinkle in his eye and a devilish grin he said "Right; now that that is settled – what word do you want to use for…"

Kate deftly repositioned herself to straddle Rick. "Quit while you're ahead." She swooped in and snatched his bottom lip between her teeth and gave it a gentle tug.

Rick responded by tickling her. Kate let go of his lip and laughed loudly as she called out "Chocolate!"

Damn. Now he knew she was ticklish.

Between his own laughter Rick sputtered out, "What is 'Chocolate'?"

Kate began pressing her hips into his until she felt his unconscious response as he shifted his hips on the bench and moved his hands to her bare midriff, slowly trailing his finger beneath her shirt to run this thumbs over taut abs.

She placed a wet, hot, teasing kiss at the base of his throat, saying, "Well..."

Another kiss was placed little higher, a little circle drawn with her tongue, murmuring, "its..."

A kiss at the corner of his mouth, muttering, "the..."

Flicking her tongue along his lips enough to tease, but not please, whispering, "other..."

The next kiss parted his lips and left his eyes smoked over with desire, huffing out, "kind of..."

It was followed by a kiss that was a full on assault, her lips bruising his, sighing, "safe..."

The last kiss had him grasping her by the waist and slowly rocking, raising to meet her. She finished with a purr, "word."

"Hungry?" He asked as he nibbled on her ear, "I need to be fed."

"Mmm, you're already snacking."

Rick slid his hand around her to her backside, cupped her ass. "Yes, and if we keep this up and one of New York's finest is going to come along and arrest us. I am planning on being locked up with you tonight, but not the kind of lock up that includes sharing a cot with 'Bubba.'"

She exhaled a breathy, "No Bubbas."

"Plus I'm cold." He whined.

Kate lifted her head and rolled her eyes. "It's February, fifty-one degrees and the sun is shining." Kate played with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I thought I was doing a pretty good job at heating you up."

Rick burrowed his hands inside her coat, found the edge of her shirt and slid his cold hands up along her warm back. Kate jumped off his lap as if she was shot out of a rocket. "Point taken." He was so going to get it for that.

Kate tightened her coat around her. He was right, the sun was starting to dip it was getting chilly. "Eat out, order in or room service?"

"Out but in." Rick stood up, placed a lazy arm around her shoulders and began steering her back to the hotel.

Kate quirked a brow and asked, "Help me with that one."

"We could run up to 'Eataly', pick up a few things and picnic in the room."

"Picnic sounds good. We need car. I'd call for one but my phones on vacation so…"

Rick dragged her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. "About that, the phone not the car." his voice faltered for a moment. "Watching you lock up your badge, gun and phone was one of the sexist things I have ever watched a woman do."

Kate moving with cat like grace, hooking a leg around his body and pressing herself against him in all the right places, "So, I should cancel the striper pole delivery?"

The driver pulled up in front of 'Eataly.' Kate waited for Rick to open her door and offer her a hand to help her out. Rick shook his head in disbelief as he helped her out of the car. "Twice in one day, you don't drive and you don't open your own door. I told you miracles happen."

Kate held onto his hand but rolled her eyes. Sometimes it was better to say nothing then to encourage him.

The door of 'Eataly' opened and they were greeted by a flurry of activity. "This place is massive."

"You've never been?" Rick asked.

"No, seemed like the concept catering to tourists. The whole eat, shop, and drink combo."

"I was skeptical at first too, but you'll see. Plus they have the perfect food for a romantic date."

Squeezing his hand, she asked. "Planning a little romance are you?"

"Quickest way I know how to get you into whatever Maddie gave you."

Kate teased back. "Maybe it's just for me."

"You're telling me you're not 'fearless'?"

A furious blush took over Kate's face as Rick gave her a knowing grin. The grin Kate had secretly dubbed 'the shit-eating grin', he was so damn proud of himself. All she wanted to do was wipe the grin off his face.

Kate reached up and cupped her hands behind his head. She brought him within an inch of her, close enough to touch, but not. She ran her fingers inside his collar and across the back of his neck. Kate began tracing one hand down his chest to his belt buckle, curling her fingers just inside his waist band, the back of her fingers seductively brushing across his stomach as she played with his belt.

Rick's eyes clouded over, he swallowed repeatedly. She held his eyes with hers. She slowly drew him to her.

Standing on her tiptoes she leaned in to kiss him, as his mouth moved to capture hers, she turned her head and hummed in his ear "What are you hungry for?" and after a bit of a pause she added, "Besides me?"