Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Klown: Roxas and Axel's Run In With the B and B Killer?
Two young men sat inside a car outside a B and B named The Granorg B and B, one had long spiky red hair with green hair and tear like tattoos under his eyes, the other had windswept blonde hair and blue eyes.
The one with red hair, Axel, to his partner and said "So hypothetically if we were the last two men on earth, would you fuck me then?"
The blonde, Roxas, frowned "How many times are you gonna ask me this, the answers no and it will always be no"
Axel sighed "I said hypothetically"
They both sat back before Axel sighed and turned to Roxas "Why are we even here, you promised me steak and we're sitting outside a fucking house"
Roxas looked at him confused before saying "Stake out? Stake out, Jesus you've been a member of the academy for 4 years you should know what that means"
Axel looked fairly hurt "Sometimes you can be really insensitive, so why are we here then?"
Roxas looked away to the building across the street "Well it's not strictly in the books the reason we're hear"
Axel perked up and leaned in so close that their noses were practically touching "Are we gonna fuck someone up?" he whispered.
Roxas leaned in even closer "If we find who I'm looking for, your damn right we will" he said grinning.
Axel grinned "So who we killing?" Roxas leaned back "Well I don't have any suspects yet that's kind of the reason why we're here but have you seen the newspaper clipping on my desk back at the academy?"
Axel nodded "You mean the ones about the killer clowns?" Roxas scoffed and made a face "No that's ridiculous I mean the ones about the missing B and B owners"
Axel nodded "Yeah so whys this personal?"
Roxas's face saddened "Because my twin brother happened to own a B and B, it was his job along with his partner and they both disappeared recently along with several other B and B owners and this happens to be the last B and B in the fucking town"
Axel laughed and pointed to the building "What this B and B?"
Roxas nodded and pointed to the building "Yes that B and B, look if you're not gonna listen, wait someone's going in"
Axel looked away as a boy with spiky blonde hair walked past the car eyes narrowing in suspicion as he walked past the car, Axel and Roxas watched him as he walked past them before Axel whispered "Is that him?" Roxas nodded "Could be, let's go"
Axel turned round only to nearly jump out of his skin, the man had pressed his face right up against the window with an incredibly creepy expression on his face, and he motioned for Axel to lower the window which he did. The man leaned in and spoke softly "Can't park here I'm afraid your blocking the entrance if you would just like the move down the road a little bit"
Axel, shaking, nodded "Ok" he said looking very uncomfortable, the man stroked Axel's cheek slowly before whispering "Thank you" he turned and went to walk into the B and B.
The two parked on a space before making their way to the front door, fist pumping as they reached the door, before Axel could ring the doorbell Roxas clapped his hands "Wait a minute we need a back story, we can't go in as us, right what have you got"
"We're a gay couple deeply in love, we like music and food" Roxas sighed and shook his head "No, no, no I can't be gay looking like this, something better" Axel thought again "We're gay plumbers we like working in kitchens" Roxas facepalmed "I don't think your listening I can't do gay and I don't want to be gay cause that would mean I'd have to share a room with you, come on something better"
Axel thought again "We're best friends, we've been doing ridiculous hours at the office and we need to get away" Roxas nodded "I like it"
"And we're very gay" Axel said as he rang the doorbell, Roxas sighed and facepalmed "I need a new partner"
"And we're not fucking gay" Roxas said as the door opened, Axel quickly wrapped his arm around Roxas and smiled at the man "Hey we're gay!"
Roxas sighed but decided to play along with and it and slapped his hand "Oh no you didn't" he said before punching Axel in the back hard, Axel tensed and then groaned loudly earning a weird look from the owner.
"See you moved your car then" he said as Roxas made a panicked expression before Axel said "So you got any rooms then?" the man nodded "Yeah I've got a perfect room for you guys, king sized bed, free lube"
Axel perked up "Oh fantastic!" Roxas clenched his teeth "Fan-fucking –tastic" the man fully opened the door and gestured for then to enter "Well if you come in I'll show you to your room"
Axel waved his hand forward "Well after you cupcake" Roxas grinned "Lady's first" Axel's face fell and moved into the house, Roxas shaking his head as they walked in.
KHROS
They walked into the kitchen; the place looked very run down, there was patches of dirt all over the walls, dirty pot and pans everywhere covered in grease, piled up so that it looked like they hadn't been washed in weeks, Axel noticed this "Nice place" he remarked sarcastically, "Yeah very tidy in here" said Roxas as he saw some mould on the sink. The man turned round with the same creepy expression "Thanks, we do well in our cleanliness, we haven't had any quests yet"
"What, ever?" said Roxas looking round in suspicion "We had a guy come round earlier but he turned it down earlier, some people are just picky I suppose" said the man. Roxas nodded and narrowed his eyes in suspicion "Yeah, picky" he said slowly.
They moved upstairs and into the bedroom, "Right there's the bed, king size, bathrooms on the left" Roxas frowned "That's not a king, it's a double" the owner sighed "Well the sky that sold it to me said it was a king"
Axel looked rather happy about this "Well I guess that means we'll be a lot closer in bed" Roxas sighed "Oh yes lovely" he said sarcastically. He wrapped his arm around Axel "We'll take the room can you please leave, we've got some bumming to do" Axel looked incredibly happy but quickly masked it "Yeah fuck off" he said as he pushed the man out.
He turned round and clapped his hands, his top mysteriously gone "Right your ass or mine" he said clapping his hands together, Roxas looked horrified and whispered "Put your top back on"
Axel sighed and pointed at him "Sometimes you need to commit a bit more, I mean look at me willing to bum, for work" Roxas threw his hands up in the air "Enough of this gay shit already , he believes out story now let's come up with a plan"
Downstairs the owner went to go talk to the other owner of the B and B "Hey Pence guess what we have a couple of guest downstairs"
"Oh….yeah?" replied Pence, Hayner nodded "Yeah but I think they might be undercover spy's or something, pretending to be gay" the doorbell rang and he went to open it, there was a strange laugh as he looked surprised "Oh your back"
Roxas and Axel sat in the bed casually eating a pizza that had been left there, presumably from the owner "You never told me you had a brother" said Axel, "Well you never asked" said Roxas, "I thought you might have mentioned him when I took you to see my family, introduced to mum and dad and little Ariel"
"I fucking hated that little bitch" said Roxas.
"I apologise for you having to sit at the kids table, it was a mix up" said Axel apologetically. Roxas shook his head and kept eating "So tell me about your brother?"
"Not really much to say, names Ventus though everyone calls him Ven, he's a goody two shoes who always does the right thing and he can sometimes be an utter twat but he can be alright, anyway he went to a different school, The Land of Departure, while I went the Twilight Town academy same with you"
Axel nodded and pressed on "So he's gone missing?" Roxas nodded "Yep the 23rd B and B owner this month and this is the last one, I reckon there trying to kill of the competition, it the only thing I can come up with but its fucking genius"
Axel seemed to agree "That does actually make sense, this place is a shithole" Roxas laughed "You can say that again, there's shit on the wall over there, now let's lay low, sit about I reckon we'll find something"
KHROS
Axel laid down next to Roxas, face to face, Roxas sighed "I said top to toe" Axel backed off and looked down "Oh did you? Huh never heard you" switching round so that his feet were right next to Roxas's face, Roxas quickly changed his mind because Axel's feet smelled absolutely foul, "Get back up here now" he said holding his breath, Axel snuggled up next to him "I knew you'd see sense"
A few hours later, Axel got up needing to go to the toilet, when he opened the bathroom door he almost puked; whoever had last used the toilet had forgotten to flush the toilet, he decided to head downstairs completely unaware of the strange man in a clown mask twitching periodically following him.
Once Axel had finished he looked around confused as he heard a strange chanting noise before a psychotic laugh, he turned round, and quickly pulling out the Beretta 9 pistol he had received for back up and ordered the creature to freeze. It was a man, fairly overweight, with a clown mask with spiky orange hair and dressed a plain clown outfit.
Axel raised the gun and pointed it at his target "Take the mask off and get back" the clown seemed to obey, backing off slightly, Axel relaxed only for it to charge forward, "I said get back!" shooting it in the leg, causing it to collapse on one knee, it looked up at him, not saying anything "I warned you" he said trying to remain calm.
The clown made a gesture with its hand as if to say "Wait" before reaching into its pouch and pulling out what looked like a party popper, Axel's eyes widened with fear "What is that? Is that a party popper?" the clown did not respond.
"SIR IS THAT A PARTY POPPER?" he shouted raising his gun again, the clown nodded slowly and before Axel could react it shot him in the chest.
Axel seized up, it felt like all his insides where burning, he dropped his gun as the pain over took him, it shot him again and again, every blow only increasing the unimaginable pain that went through him, then he collapsed twitching only slightly.
"Axel? AXEL?" he could hear Roxas as he made his way down the stairs, he found his partner lying face down "What the fuck?" he said as he looked around to see where his attacker had gone. "Is that you Rox?" said Axel and Roxas made his way back to his partner.
"No,no,no,no,no!" he said as he rested Axel's head on his lap "Who did this Axel!" he said, "It was a clown" gasped Axel as he coughed up blood, "Rox?" he said looking up in his eyes, fighting back tears Roxas looked down at him "Yeah buddy?"
"I need you to do something for me, one last thing before I check out of this hell hole" Roxas chuckled "Leaving me with the bill?" Axel laughed choking up more blood, "No I need you to kiss me" he said suddenly
Roxas looked down at him "What?" he said disgusted "What?" said Axel trying to cover up what he just said "I said I want you to miss me when I'm gone" he said
"No you didn't" said Roxas confused, "How can you call me a liar at a time like this? I'm dying for god's sake what's wrong with you" said Axel his breath getting more and more weak, Roxas sighed "Axel, no-one must know what we're about to do but I'll do for you" and he leaned down, their face's almost touching before Axel laughed "I knew you were gay" he said before going still.
Roxas looked up in disbelieve "WHAT?" he shouted before shaking Axel "Axel? Axel! AXEL!" he shouted in grief. His eyes filled with tears as he patted Axel on the head "Axel, don't worry pal, I'm gonna get revenge, It'll be sweet!"
Hayner and Pence came down the stairs to see what all the commotion was about "Guys…if ..you don't keep it down….I'm gonna kill someone"
The three sat in the kitchen, Hayner and Pence watching Roxas who was standing with his hand on his face "Someone killed my friend, there are only three of us here and I certainly didn't do it, so I want to know which one of did it and I'm gonna shot you in the fucking face"
Pence leaned forward "Now….lets… not... jump to…any..conclusions" Hayner nodded "Yeah we do have one more guest, he's a clown"
Roxas couldn't help but laugh "A clown? Axel's last words were he was killed by a clown and now you're telling me there's a clown here, do you thing I'm fucking stupid?"
Hayner pointed down the hallway "Look if you don't believe us then you can go check his room its number five" Roxas nodded "Alright then I will" he walked down the hallway and approached the bottom room, sure enough there was a clown outfit hanging on the door knob, he looked up confused "You gotta be pulling my leg" he opened the door and went to look inside but couldn't see anybody, then the lights went off
"Fuck!" he shouted as the lights came on again only to be swamped by balloons falling from the ceiling, he turned round to the see the clown, stretching and flexing to prepare itself for battle. He shot at it but it dodged his shot easily, it then disappeared into the ground. He looked around confused before it appeared behind,, pinching his shoulder and slapping him on the cheek before putting him in a choke hold, Roxas tried to fight it off but couldn't and then everything went black.
KHROS
Kairi and Sora arrived outside the B and B, it was night time and there was nobody around, Sora looked up at the building "Wow this place looks like an utter shithole, is this really were we're meant to find this guy?"
Kairi looked down at the note Mickey had given them "Well it's the right address" she looked up at the building and could see were Sora was coming from "I guess this place hasn't had many visitors" Sora looked down the road "Hey Kairi look over there"
Only about twenty feet from the building was a car with the Twilight Town insignia on it "I'm guessing that means the Twilight Town students Roxas and Axel are already here but I don't see them anywhere" she said looking around. Suddenly the was a gunshot inside the building causing them both to jump.
"Shit! Looks like we're late for the action, you ready Sora?" he grinned and transformed "Let's go!" he shouted as she charged into the building. She entered the hall and saw the body of Axel.
"Shit! What the hell happened to him" said Sora in his Keyblade form, Kairi knelt down and searched for signs of life, she gasped "He's dead!" she said looking around. She moved into the kitchen and saw the body of Hayner, his head blown to pieces. She heard more gunshots outside and ran into the garden.
There standing there was the clown, twitching and looking around, there was a handgun lying on the ground covered in blood. "What the hell is with this dude" said Sora as Kairi raised her keyblade and pointed it at the clown.
"You, killer clown!" she said, it turned round to look at her, head tilting "Your days of killing B and B owners has ended, now tell me where the student from the Land of Departure is or pay the price!" she said in her battle stance.
The clown laughed and fired a party popper at her, she raised her Keyblade and blocked it, then there was a scream of pain.
Her eyes widened "Sora?" she said as her weapon transformed back into his human form, he leaned forward and spat out blood before collapsing.
"Sora!" she screamed as she knelt down and shook him "Sora? Wake up! Are you ok? Please say something!" she cried, he was still breathing only slightly. She looked up to see the clown aiming his party popper straight at her face, she shut her eyes and hugged Sora's head and waited for her life to end.
Authors Note: The whole Axel/Roxas thing was just a joke so don't take it too seriously, sorry for the lack of Sora and Kairi in this chapter, they'll be in the next one a lot more.
How will Kairi defeat the mysterious clown? Find out in Chapter 3 Maximus to the Rescue: Ahts Flute Has Healing Powers?