Steve showered and then headed to the gym, ignoring every instinct in his body to go back the way he'd come.
He'd stood in the shadows, watching Tony and Clint interact. The jealousy he knew he didn't deserve to feel had made him want to scream but he stood watching them hug and laugh like lifelong friends.
Friends.
Only friends.
The mantra was repeating itself in his head as he entered the deserted gym, the punching bag greeting him. He got out a good kick when suddenly someone called out, "Taking a shower before getting sweaty again? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?"
Every hair on the back of his neck was standing on end and he didn't dare turn around, punching the bag and trying to remain calm.
He could smell Tony walk around him.
Honest to god smell him.
"Jesus," he whispered, punching hard.
Tony suddenly was at his left and when his hand touched Steve's arm he felt his body trembling. He didn't move.
"They told me what you did. Pepper and Rhodey."
Steve swallowed and looked into Tony's clear blue eyes. "Did they?"
Tony nodded, letting go of his arm. He had to force himself not to sigh in relief. "Yep. And Rhodey told him you got down on your knees and begged. Honest to god, begged. Weird, huh? That he'd make up a lie like that?"
Steve looked away and kicked at the bag again. "Strange."
Tony walked around him again till he was on the other side of the bag and he stood in front of him, holding the bag. "So, why did you come there? To yell at me again? And my dying got in the way?"
Steve tried not to let the idea get into his head but failed and the tears that welled up in his eyes made him look away. "No. I came to give you my blood. Like they said."
Tony let go of the bag and walked around him again, stopping behind him. Steve could feel him at his back and he forced his body to remain calm though the strain was painful.
"Why?"
Steve bit his lip and said, "You're…important….to the team."
Tony laughed bitterly, his voice cutting when he whispered, "To the team, huh? Is that all you're gonna say?"
Steve didn't move or speak.
Tony sighed. "You know, I may be an insufferable bastard sometimes. I may be vain, shallow, and a bit of a jackass. But I'm not a coward and I never will be," he said, turning and walking away, "Glad to be so valuable to the team, SIR."
As soon as he was gone Steve slumped against the bag, tears welling up in his eyes.
He didn't deserve Tony and Tony definitely deserved more than him.
Steve leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He felt tears on his face and embraced them, giving in to the silence.
"Steve? You okay?"
He opened his eyes and saw Bucky there, concern evident on his face. Steve shook his head, swallowing. His friend walked over and hugged him tightly and he buried his head in Bucky's shoulder.
"Saw Stark walk by. He didn't look happy."
Steve didn't reply, pulling away and wiping his face. He laughed bitterly. "I would assume not. He gave me a way back in and I was too scared to take it."
Bucky frowned. "Why?"
"Just drop it, Buck. Okay? It's over."
Bucky laughed. "Really? Because the four other times you assumed that it was it wasn't, and I really don't believe you being able to give up on love this easily. You pined after me for fifty years, Steve."
Steve glared at him. "So?"
He put his hands on Steve's shoulders. "So I don't want you to pine after Tony Stark for that long. Frankly I don't like the guy at all and think he doesn't deserve that. I don't see even one reason why you'd be attracted to him. He's selfish ass who only cares about where his next lay or award is coming from and he might be smart but he has no fucking clue when it comes to common decency. He doesn't deserve to shine your boots let alone…."
Bucky was cut off when Steve punched him and he staggered back, catching himself. He rubbed his jaw for a second, and then looked up with a smile. "Took you long enough. I thought I was gonna have to go on forever, though I do have a lot more shit to say about Stark."
Steve blinked at him. "You did that on purpose."
Bucky grinned. "Obviously. I wanted to rile you up and it did. I don't get why you're punishing yourself over this. It was a mistake, you did it, but it's fucking over now so get the hell over it. You don't want to be like poor Clint and have no idea where Tony is or what's being done to him and never being able to say you still love him. Do you?"
Steve looked away, sighing. "It's not that simple. I should have trusted him, I should have listened."
Bucky clapped him on the shoulder. "Well, you didn't. Look, it's late. Nick's busy trying to track down the Hulk's gamma signature or this Tem guy and it probably will be all night till we get it right. Go to bed, think on it. Tony will still be around in the morning."
Steve nodded. "Thanks."
His friend grinned. "Don't mention it."
Bucky left him alone again and he wiped off his face, throwing the towel in a hamper to his left before heading out into the hall towards the bedrooms. He walked by the briefing room when he heard Tony's voice and stopped a foot from the door, leaning against the wall.
"…don't think I can."
"Oh my Tony, I'm sorry darling," Natasha purred.
Tony sighed. He sounded tired. "Thanks, Nat. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You would call that Pepper woman to tell your troubles to."
Tony laughed. "She's not half as understanding as you, plus she doesn't look as good in skin tight leather."
Natasha laughed and Steve could hear her kiss him. His stomach knotted together and he closed his eyes.
"I miss him. Even more so now that I know he doesn't want me anymore," Tony whispered.
"I do not believe that, Tony. He is your lapochka, I know it."
Tony sighed. "That may be true, but I don't think I'm his. Not anymore."
Natasha sighed and they were silent for a moment before she said, "Goodnight my Tony. I hope tomorrow we can find Banner and end this once and for all."
"Me too. Goodnight."
She came out of the room and turned, seeing Steve there. Natasha's cold glare was enough to freeze him on the spot. She turned back and stepped back inside. "Oh Tony? A question."
"Hmm?"
"If the Captain is finished with you, who will you turn to?" she asked, one foot still outside in the hallway.
Tony paused a moment and said, "I don't know, it's…I've never thought about it. Why, you got someone in mind?"
Natasha laughed. "I hear the Thunder God is single again. His human lover got frightened and left him."
Tony laughed. "Oh yes, I'll just run up to Thor and propose!"
"Want me to? I'm sure I can plead your case."
Tony was still laughing when he said, "Goodnight Natasha."
" 'Night Tony darling."
She turned again and walked back down the hall stopping in front of Steve. She leaned in close and whispered, "If you don't get over yourself soon, Captain, I will find someone else to love my Tony properly. You can bet on it."
With that she left him alone. Steve took a deep breath and walked down the hall and turned into the room. Tony had his back to him, his feet up on a chair as he watched file footage on the big screen taking up most of the room.
It was of Steve himself, the first introduction of Captain America to the public back in the forties. He swallowed and said with a thick voice, "I don't deserve your forgiveness."
Silence answered him.
"I know that. I want it, desperately, but I don't think I deserve even the slightest forgiveness for my abandoning you when you needed me the most," he said, swallowing again.
The screen went dark and Tony turned around. His face was hard, not a trace of a smile or a frown.
"Is that it?" he asked.
Steve looked down, nodding.
Tony laughed, his voice bitter. "You're telling me all that shit in there about me 'being important to the team' was because you feel you don't deserve to get back together with me?"
Steve didn't dare say a word or move.
"Bullshit! Who the fuck cares if you deserve it! I DESERVE IT!" Tony yelled making him lift his head in surprise.
Tony got up from his chair and stalked towards him, stopping when they were face to face. He grabbed on to Steve's shirt and kissed him, hard and brutal, shoving his tongue down Steve's throat.
The blonde accepted his kiss and held on; pulling them closer together in a crushing hold. When they pulled back to breathe both men had tears on their faces and Tony touched Steve's cheek with his fingertips and then tore his shirt open, buttons flying all over the room.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The scene I wrote as was is against the site's guidelines so I've posted it to my LJ and the editor for the site will not allow me to post a link though there is one in my author profile. My LJ name is kinneytaylor. There will be MANY scenes in this story I will have to do the same to, but I don't want to try and CENSOR them INTO SOMETHING MORE tame so this will have to do. Sorry.
The only noise in the room was their heavy breathing and when he felt Tony turn him around, they looked at each other: faces flushed, bodies sweaty, and Tony grinned.
"I kinda wish I had taken off a lot more clothes for that," he admitted, "Since it's probably the first and last time I make love in a SHIELD situation room."
Steve smiled, leaning up and pressing their mouths together lightly. "I love you so much," he declared.
"I love you so fucking much it kills me but I can't go through this shit again. You have to trust me, Steve, with everything," Tony said, not smiling now.
The blonde's smile brightened and he kissed Tony again, pressing their foreheads together. "I do, I will, I promise."
He felt Tony's fingers interlock with his and he squeezed on his lover's hand tightly.
"Now let's go back to OUR room and do this thing properly," Tony declared, then looked down at the ruins of Steve's clothes, "Right after I go get you a robe."
Steve grinned. "Don't want me getting Nick all hot and bothered roaming the halls with a ripped open shirt and pants?"
Tony glared. "Not funny. You don't want to piss me off again."
He grinned and pulled up his pants, holding them closed. "C'mon then, Mister Stark, show me who's boss," he whispered, before leaving the room as quick as he could still holding his clothes.
Tony pulled up his own pants, barely zipping them as he took off running.
Nick Fury sat in front of a computer screen, rubbing his eyes. It had been nearly twelve hours now since The Hulk went on a rampage, killing two of his agents and injuring several others. The monster was nowhere to be found, but his radiation energy was large enough to track and he had been searching for the signature since his people had been put on the trail, in between researching Tem Borjigin, the CEO of Mandarin, Inc. who also just happened to be the head of an organization called, "The Hand."
The man was a criminal mastermind, and Tony fucking Stark had been sitting at a table shaking hands with him. He couldn't believe his own stupidity.
"Fucking drama," he mumbled.
All the things that had been going on with his "Avengers" in the past month had stopped him from his usual constant vigilance regarding the lives of his team was concerned.
In other words, he'd stopped trying to dictate every aspect of their lives.
Obviously, this wouldn't happen again.
He would not allow himself to be blindsided with something this big for a second time so that was why he flicked through the cameras in the building, checking on his team. When he saw Tony Stark and Steve Rogers he cursed, closing his eyes.
Nick picked up the phone.
"Maria, send someone to clean up the Situation Room please," he said tiredly.
There was a hint of laughter in her voice, "Yes sir, Carol and I are on it."
Nick grinned. "I'm sure you are. I trust the tape will be missing of that particular encounter?"
Maria laughed. "No, sir. Just very warm with overuse."
He sighed and leaned back in his chair, his eyes beginning to flutter a bit.
Until suddenly there was a large dot on his screen.
A big green one.
Nick stared at the dot for nearly ten minutes as it blinked in the same spot, not moving. This was quite obviously a trap because he doubted Borjigin was dumb enough not to realize they could follow the Hulk's gamma signature, but that didn't stop him from reaching over and turning on the lights in all the rooms of his team and announcing, "Avengers, assemble in the Situation Room."
He paused, remembering and then said, "Nevermind. My office, NOW."
The group came in quicker than he anticipated. First Clint, his eyes red from what Nick knew was crying; followed by Natasha and Bucky who were already suited up; to his surprise Thor came, nodding once to him. He had assumed the Thunder God had left again for Asgard as he usually did after a battle. He waited a moment for Tony and Steve, though he knew from their encounter earlier the two were not going to be here very soon.
Nick turned to the group and declared, "I have located The Hulk's gamma signature."
He heard Clint let out a sigh of relief and he looked at him directly when he continued, "I believe that I was allowed to and we would be walking into a trap if the team was sent in."
Clint's face flinched a bit at the words and he looked down, his eyes filling with tears again.
"But the team will continue to pursue the creature as soon as you're all suited up and ready," he finished, smiling when Clint's head shot up in surprise.
Before he could continue Tony and Steve burst through the door with flushed faces, clothes askew, and panting for breath. Tony said breathlessly, "Sorry we're late! We were….uh…."
"Taking a meeting in the Situation Room?" Nick finished for him, raising an eyebrow.
Steve suddenly blushed and Tony mumbled, "Sorry."
"What did we miss?" Steve asked.
Clint was grinning brightly. "We found him."