I struggled a fair bit to complete this chapter. Life isn't so good at the moment, but thank goodness for fanfiction acting as my escape from reality sometimes. Anyways, if you notice any noteworthy bits in this chapter, that was because my awesome beta, MiyuTanemura, dropped by.
6. How We Say Goodbye
Despite having his fury muted by the hug the ice mage had offered him a minute ago, Natsu felt his anger stir like some great beast threatening to fully awaken and wreck havoc. Here it was again. Always it came back to Lyon, Lyon, Lyon. How he loathed that man. Granted, Gray was doing this because he did not wish to see his friends get hurt, but couldn't he see that by putting himself in danger it hurt his friends too? Was he that blind? This many years spent together since they were children and he could not feel how much his friends cared for him— that they care to the point they were entirely willing to put their lives on the line for him.
If Gray could endanger his life for his friends, why couldn't his friends do the same for him?
"Let me ask you again," bit out Natsu. "Are you fucking insane?"
The other boy didn't even flinch at his roar; only precipitated towards him and clamped a hand over his mouth. Surprised at the feel of the cool palm making contact with his lips, he flinched and stiffened.
"Quiet," hissed the ice mage, sapphire eyes slitted. "Do you want us to be heard?"
Gripping the other's wrist, Natsu tore it away from his face, but held it firmly in his hand. He was getting angrier by the second. This was getting ridiculous. Never had he seen someone so eager to be on his merry way to death. "If that would prevent you from running away again, then, yes."
There was a pause where the two mages glared daggers at each other, then— "What if I said I will allow you to accompany me on my journey?"
Natsu wasn't sure he heard that correctly.
"Forget it," the ice mage snapped when Natsu responded with only a blank face, turning away and pulling his hand back. "Why did I even bother to—"
Natsu caught the other's wrist once more, his fury dribbling away. He couldn't believe his ears – and his luck. Finally. Finally. It was about time his best friend regained full use of his brains. "Yes," he said, his tone almost gleeful. "Yes, I'll go with you."
Gray did not even look at the fire mage as he yanked his hand away and disappeared into the corridor. He moved swiftly and silently, aware of Natsu close behind him. When the other boy questioned his intentions, he simply murmured, "Hush." before making his way to the end of the corridor. There, a single window was propped open. He heaved himself up on the chest-high window sill and swung his legs over. It was fortunate he was on the first storey of the guild building. Pushing himself off, he landed lightly on the grass outside. As the guild was built on a raised foundation, he dropped past an extra two feet before he touched down. The hard landing jarred his teeth and bones. Looking up, he saw Natsu staring down at him quizzically.
"What are you doing?" he hissed, glancing from side to side in case someone showed up. "Come on down!"
"I should be asking you that," muttered the fire mage, referring to Gray's rhetorical question. Placing both hands flat on the stone wall, he vaulted over the window and landed on the other side. He brushed his hands together briskly and hurried to catch up with the ice mage, who was already hastening down the grassy slope. Their shadows darted back and forth, lengthening and shrinking with every lamp post passed. He recognised the route they were taking. After some time, they arrived before the doorsteps of Gray's apartment.
"Wait here while I get my things," Gray said brusquely, unlocking the front door, slipping in and shutting it in Natsu's face.
The dragon slayer contemplated smashing the wooden door down. It looked flimsy enough. It wouldn't stand a chance against a fiery fist. Then he sighed. If he did that, Gray could get another heatstroke and he would have to find Wendy again — which defeated the purpose of sneaking out of Fairy Tail in the first place. Folding his arms, he leaned resignedly against the brick wall, crossing his right leg over his left shin and resting his toes on the pavement.
His gaze was inexplicably drawn to the starry skies. He remembered the feeling of strong winds blowing straight into his face and skimming across his scales. The memory of streaking through blue skies on crimson wings made him smile and yearn to take on his fire dragon-form once more. He knew he would be a spectacular sight. Then, once he hung as a glittering vermilion beast against an endless backdrop of the sky, he would breeze over mountains and valleys. Seeking out where Igneel was residing. A cool zephyr ruffled his hair. His vision misted over as he reminisced.
After a while he jerked back into consciousness. Straightening and glancing around, he wondered how long had he been daydreaming. Gray should have been out by now but was nowhere in sight. He cocked his head and listened intently, but heard nothing from the interior of his friend's apartment. Frowning, he decided that he had better check in on his friend in case something undesirable, like a fainting spell, had occurred.
Twisting the doorknob, he pushed the door open and entered the apartment. He walked through the lighted hallway and found the pile of boxes still intact in the middle of the small hall.
"Gray?"
As he began to venture deeper into the apartment in search of the ice mage, a flash of reflected light caught his eye. He turned to look, and saw a note speared to one of the boxes by an icicle. Dread trickled into him and he swore. 'Oh, please, no. Please don't let it be...' He strode over and, with trembling fingers, carefully pried the piece of paper free. He couldn't bring himself to look, but did anyway. There was only a single word written on it:
Sorry.
Natsu couldn't restrain the harsh bark of laughter that tore from his lips as he crushed and burnt the paper to ashes in a clenched fist. So this was the catch; the reason for Gray's sudden change of heart and permission to accompany him on his journey. The ice mage knew he could never shake him off through verbal or physical persuasion alone. Hence he was lulled into a false sense of security before being abandoned. It was with an extremely bitter look that he addressed the empty apartment, save for the pile of boxes that held his best friend's possessions. He almost set fire to them.
The profound sense of betrayal grew steadily, until it became overwhelming. The rush of emotions felt almost physical, to the point he could literally feel it fling his head back, allowing a low, broken cry — rage. frustration. anxiety. hurt. — to escape him:
"Graaaayyyy...!"
His legs gave way, numb to all feeling —like his heart— and he sank bonelessly to the ground. 'Oh, god, Gray... why must you do this to me?' His forehead met gently with the hard, wooden flooring as he tried to focus on breathing. Inhale, exhale... inhale, exhale... But it hurt to breathe, damnit. There was something like a lump in his throat... something like a poisoned knife lodged in his heart. Gray's betrayal was toxin seeping into his every pore, dissolving him into a puddle of frayed emotions. The world was a blur, spinning relentlessly around him. He felt an urge to throw up — maybe that way, he could disgorge his fractured heart on to the floor. The pain was so agonising he wanted to claw his heart out from his aching chest. All he could think of was the cruel, heartless way his best friend had left him.
"Why did you leave me?"
He could hear muttering.
"...hurts so much."
Natsu wondered if he might be delirious.
"If it hurts this much, does this mean that I—?"
Who was talking?
"..that I—"
Who was it who was crying?
"—love—"
Who was it who sounded like he was dying?
"—you?"
Natsu almost laughed as he recognised the words, the voice, as his own.
"I love you...?"
Of all times to say it out loud was when the person himself wasn't there!
"I love you—!"
Or did he think he did?
It hurt so much to think and feel that he gave up on doing either and retreated into himself, his mind going blank. His legs gave way as he went limp, his body slumping to the floor. Squeezing his eyes shut, he curled up sideways into a foetus position and hugged himself tightly, as if the physical withdrawal could shield himself from his mental turmoil. But the flood of intense emotions that he held back threatened to crush his mental defenses. Tears trickled down his face as he fought to breathe. He grovelled on the floor, mouth parted and taking in deep, gasping breaths of air as if he were drowning. He was scratching at the wooden parquet flooring with his nails, as if trying to find some purchase so he could lift himself from this deluge of raging emotions.
Seconds passed as he hid behind the blackness of his eyelids.
His breathing gradually evened out as he grew more aware of a difference in the ambience of his surroundings. There was a unique scent filling his lungs and, amazingly, clearing his mind. It had an icy, almost spicy, aroma. He vaguely wondered why the smell seemed so painfully familiar to him. The familiarity soothed and agitated him at the same time. It reminded him of something, or someone, that was fairly important to him. He thought hard for a while before his brain supplied him with the answer: Gray.
But what was it that kept niggling away at the corner of his mind? What was that strange impulse, that urgent need to do something — something he could not quite get? Then he remembered — Gray, the one who had charmed and then left him — and an explosion of pain had his heart shattering into pieces for the second time that night. But with that memory came another, one that had him recalling a responsibility that was also a promise:
I will seal your darkness, for you.
And with that Natsu knew what he needed to do.
He had to find Gray and protect him — and he knew how.
Scrambling to his feet, he suddenly felt alive and full of energy. He had found a new purpose to the scent that was swirling around him. Breathing in deeply and revelling in its icy aroma, he regained his bearings.
Gray couldn't have been gone long. He would be able to hunt down the dark-haired boy by sniffing him out. Being a dragon slayer had its perks— namely an enhanced sense of smell. He raised his head with fresh vigor and breathed in deeply. Gray had a very distinctive scent. Maybe if he could detect where the scent was strongest, then he would be able to know how his friend had managed to escape. However, the entire apartment smelt of Gray, of winter. He couldn't very well go around sniffing every inch of the apartment now, could he? Time was of the essence.
Logically, the only way Gray could have escaped was through a window. Preferably one facing the back of the apartment building. Natsu had visited the ice mage enough times to remember the apartment's outlay. It was fortunate that the apartment had only one window large enough to accommodate a teenage boy and his backpack — the one right here in this small hall. And it had been left wide open. When he sniffed around the window frame, he was satisfied to find Gray's scent strongest here. Without hesitation, he leapt out of the window and set off in hot pursuit of his runaway friend.
I'm on my way, so wait for me.
Because his friend had lapsed into a daydream for long enough, Gray had time to leave a trail scent until the end of his street and double back.
From where he balanced effortlessly on the roof of his apartment, he watched Natsu race down the street and follow the trail of his scent. But it would be futile. The dragon slayer may have an excellent nose, but the bustling human and vehicle traffic at the end of the street would have dispelled most traces of his smell— not that he had even ventured there. His friend would never have guessed that he had doubled back, and would conclude the abrupt disappearance of his scent to be the result of the heavy traffic.
Gray could be so terribly devious sometimes.
But it was to be for the best. He must deal with Lyon alone. It was a mess he created, and likewise, it would be a mess he would have to clean up by himself. He stood and, instead of returning to solid ground, loped across the adjacent rooftops in the opposite direction of where the fire mage had headed. When he got to the end of the row of houses, he paused and crouched down. Placing his hand on the edge of the roof, a bluish-white magic circle materialised below his palm. There was a crackling sound, then a smooth, white plane of ice spread downwards from his fingertips, linking the roof's edge to the ground. He slid down to the grass below. Vanishing the ice slide, he pelted at full speed towards the boundaries of Magnolia Town. The further he got from his guild, the better.
As he ran, he wondered if he had made the right choice.
"Aiiiiiiieeeeeee!"
Natsu was viciously smashed into the wall. He slumped to the floor, the breath knocked out of him. He barely sprawled on the ground before he quickly lurched to one side. Just in time, too, for a metal blade sliced right through thin air where he had been a split second ago.
"Stop!" He blurted out, scrambling away in a futile effort to get away from his assailant. "Oh, my god, stop— noooo!" The sword pierced through his shirt, right above his shoulder, and was lodged into the wall by the sheer force of the thrust. Two more swords pinned him to the wall by his pants, missing his legs by mere millimetres. A fourth pressed coldly against his throat. Altogether, he was rendered immobile. Freshly caught.
Ready for the slaughter.
"Gramps!" Natsu wailed. "Help meeeeee—!" He choked on his scream as a fifth sword thudded into the wall a hairbreadth's away from his cranium. He almost passed out from his terror. He barely managed not to wet his pants. The rest of Fairy Tail had mysteriously vanished the moment Erza Scarlet pounced, save for Makarov and Mirajane. The redhead raised a leg and slammed her boot down on his chest. He whimpered. Black was converging on the edge of his vision. He was going to die. He mentally said a quick prayer.
The sword held to his throat was withdrawn, as was the foot on his chest.
Natsu squealed in a very unmanly manner as gauntlet-clad hands seized him by the collar. He was shook like a hapless puppy. He whimpered some more.
"What in the bloody blazes were you doing?" Erza roared. "How the fuck did a barely-recovered ice mage escape you, the fire dragon slayer, the Salamander? And now we have no idea where he went! You imbecilic good-for-nothing!" She proceeded to vigorously manhandle him as a form of outlet for her fury.
Natsu briefly considered taking on his dragon-form as a deterrent against immediate death. He could blame it on an overwhelming sense of self-preservation later. But in the face of an enraged Erza, his fire dragon-form would be as effective as spitting on to the redhead's face; it would only backfire and bring upon himself extra punishment for insubordination.
"Listen to me," he squeaked. He broke off, trying to regain control over his voice. "Erza," he said, but his voice still trembled with fear. The girl continued to shake him violently and furiously by the collar. As he spoke her name, she snarled in his face and reached to the side, yanking out a new sword from thin air. The last of his courage deserted him and he screeched in terror:
"Grrrraaammpppsss!"
Makarov halted Erza with a light tap on her shoulder. The redhead halted instantly and moved away, allowing the master to stand before the fire mage. The short elder glared at Natsu. "Stupid children," he grumbled. "Causing me so much trouble and worry. Natsu! Since this resulted from your own negligence, your punishment would be to find Gray and bring him back. Consider this a mission I have assigned you to." When his words elicited no reaction he frowned, displeased. "Boy! Did you hear what I said?" Reaching out, he pinched the cerise-haired boy's cheek and twisted. Hard.
Natsu shrieked and leapt into the air. "Yes, Gramps," he assented meekly, rubbing at his abused cheek.
"Go immediately!" Erza barked, piqued at how the fire mage dithered. "Go before I change my mind on letting you leave in one piece!"
"Alright, alright— I get it. Keep your swords sheathed! Sheesh." His voice a mixture of exasperation and fear, he scowled as he scrambled to get on his way. Damn Gray for his stupidity and foolishness. Most of all, damn himself for being so useless. If only he had insisted on following his friend into his home. Then this would not have happened. And now he had no idea where to start to find the ice mage. Who knew where he might be right now? It was nearly nine o'clock. The outsides were dark and chilly.
By the gods, was he worried about Gray!
Natsu had decided to put that crippling feeling of betrayal behind him for now and focus on searching for Gray. At the moment, he was far more distressed about his friend's well-being. Thoughts cluttered his mind; mainly concerned about the ice mage's health and safety. He longed to be with his friend now — never mind if they were on their way to find and fight Lyon. The thought of Gray truly being alone and wandering around Fiore, exposed to the elements and all kinds of unexpected dangers, had put a chill over his heart that the betrayal hadn't.
The three remaining mages watched as Natsu rushed out the main door of the guild building.
"Tell the rest of Fairy Tail to do whatever they can to find Gray," ordered Makarov once the fire dragon slayer was out of earshot. "But have Wendy, Evergreen, Bickslow and Freed remain here. The two of you shall stay here as well."
"But—"
"Erza, no matter what that little rascal is up to, the guild itself is still the top priority. I'm sure you can empathise. Now make sure the search teams take special notice of Magnolia Station, the Magnolia Public Bath and all major entryways of Magnolia."
Erza and Mirajane nodded once before hurrying off to find the others.
The race was on to find their wayward comrade.
A/N: Again, scenes that I didn't intend to appear until later in the story... appeared. And once again, as those scenes (namely the one where we see our fire dragon slayer discovering his feelings for a certain ice mage) weren't anticipated, I was forced to improvise. Hopefully this chapter turned out okay.
If there is anything I could improve on, I'll be more than happy to hear it out from you. Do review, too! :D