- The Author -

OK, so, bad news, good news, and really good news. First, instead of a full-blown story chapter, AKA 'Stage', there is the first Code Geass: The Demon and The Dragon Omake (Those of you familiar with my procedures knew this was coming). Second, the Stage will come out tomorrow. Third...... huh, what is the really good news? Eh, it probably wasn't important if I forgot about it. Kinda like how I forgot my medication and started wheezing to death......er.......

Funny Stuff!

Omake: Britannian Knightmare Pilot Manual, Post-Black Rebellion, first 4 sections

This manual details the duties, privileges, and honors of being a Knightmare Pilot (KP) for the Holy Britannian Empire (HBE). If you are not a Knightmare Pilot, please refer to Section 1160, labeled 'TREATMENT OF SPIES AND TRAITORS'. If you are a Mabinogi Pilot (MP), please scoff and immediately toss this manual aside, preferably into the face of a Knightmare Pilot. If you are a Knight of the Rounds (KOTR), read this manual and wonder at how the standard military ever achieves anything.

1. GENERAL: The Knightmare Pilot is expected to obey the orders of all superiors, royalty, and higher nobility. Should the orders from any of the three branches conflict, remember: Royalty trumps Nobility, which trumps Officers. The Knightmare Pilot is allowed, even expected, to deride the foot infantry, calling them 'crunchies' or 'foot paddies'. A Knightmare Pilot is honored by his/her position, and is expected to keep any accouterments of it clean and presentable, including (but not limited to) his uniform, rank insignia, sidearm, medals, pilot uniform, boots, gloves, pen, etc.

2. MILITARY ROLE: The Knightmare Pilot is assigned a variety of duties, ranging from escort, to siege, depending on his Knightmare and Knightmare Armaments. Often, this role will include: civilian massacre, revolutionary oppression, intimidation, and the ever-important-role of Standing Around And Looking Pretty But In Reality Being Useless Cannon Fodder (SAALPBIRBUCF).

2.1. Occasionally, a Knightmare Pilot may be asked to park his Knightmare in plain sight of a suspected sniping position. The Knightmare Pilot is advised to do so, and remember that, while there will be an instant of burning agony similar to that of Hell Itself (HI) , death by Yggdrasil Drive Explosion (YDE) is honourable and painless.

3. KNIGHTMARES: The standard Knightmare Frame a Knightmare Pilot should expect to receive is a RPI-13 Sutherland, the most advanced mass-produced Knightmare Frame in the world. The Sutherland is designed to combat the Knightmare Frames of Hostile Armies And Cowardly Insurgents, As A Well As Connected Terrorists (HAACIAAWACT). The Knightmare Pilot should not listen to reports of massive Sutherland Pilot casualties during the Black Rebellion. They all got sick. The Sutherland is a Fifth-Generation Knightmare Frame, and is thus perfectly suited to combat the Weak And Worthless Imitations Of Our Glorious Knightmare Frames (WAWIOOGKF). No Sutherland has ever fallen in combat to a Hasty And Ill-Conceived Remake Of A Fourth-Generation Knightmare Frame (HAICROAFGKF, AKA, Burai). Any who say thus are traitors and must be punished accordingly.

3.1. Recently, the Sutherland has undergone a modification that adds a small amount of radiation shielding (1 picometer layer of lead) to the cockpit. This is not in response to the false reports of an Extremely Dangerous Red Knightmare Frame With A Silver Arm (EDRKFWASA). It is to protect the Knightmare Pilot from sunlight of such intensity that it causes the Yggdrasil Drive to Explode In A Highly Destructive Manner (EIAHDM) thus rendering the Knightmare Pilot an Expanded Body Of Well-Done Giblets (EBOWDG)

3.2. Also recently, the Sutherland has been equipped with a large shield, in order to defend against afore-mentioned sniper attacks. Ignore the large bulls-eye painted on the shield's front.

4. OFF-DUTY: When off-duty, a Knightmare Pilot is encouraged to converse with his fellow pilots, in order to foster camaraderie and team-work. Or, as the case may be, contempt. In either case, this should bring the Knightmare Pilot the ability to ignore the deaths of said fellows, should such an unlikely event occur.

4.1. It is accepted that Knightmare Pilots will, when off duty, make jokes about their superiors. While this is a common and accepted practice, occasionally it is taken too far. Thus, the following joke, and all jests similar in target, is banned from being spoken, messaged, or printed in any way shape or form. Should such a thing be done, the perpetrator, such as the author of this manual, should refer to section 245901, on INSUBORDINATION.

Two Knights of the Round, Suzaku Kururugi and Gino Weinberg, boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Pendragon, headed for Houston, Texas. Kururugi sat in the window seat, Weinberg sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, General Joseph Holmes of the Pendragon Mabinogion Squadron got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Knights. The General kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when Kururugi said,"I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the General, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, Kururugi picked up the General's boot and spat in it.

When the General returned with the coke, Weinberg said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the General obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, Weinberg picked up the other boot and spat in it.

The General returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the General slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the General asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?"

Omake: Why Knightmare Pilots Prefer Knightmare Frames Over Women

* Knightmares usually kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.

* Knightmares can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

* Knightmares don't object to a pre-combat inspection.

* Knightmares come with a manual to explain their operation.

* Knightmares can be piloted at any time of the month.

* Knightmares don't come with in-laws.

* Knightmares don't care about how many other Knightmares you've piloted before.

* Knightmares and pilots both arrive at the same time.

* Knightmares don't mind if you look at other Knightmares.

* Knightmares don't mind if you buy Knightmare magazines.

* Knightmares expect to be tied down or secured.

* Knightmares don't comment on your piloting skills.

* Knightmares don't whine unless something is really wrong.

* However, when Knightmares go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.

- The Author -

Originally, that joke was about a Green Beret and two SEALs. Modified thusly, I love it, especially as Canon Failzaku gets the short end of the stick. Sorry Gino.

Replies:

Infinite Freedom: Waste of ammo. On a side note, just how immortal is C.C.? I mean, can she regenerate from exposure to thirty grams of anti-matter? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Velshard: Quite true. I wonder, just how would having had a twin brother like Learme changed Lelouch's attitude towards C.C.? I mean, it's already pretty much neutralized one aspect of C.C.'s annoyance (You guys will see)
You're welcome.

00virtuezero (CG and GS reviews): Probably Berserker. As to the Lloyd joke, I wasn't offended. As I've said to others, it's hard to actually seriously offend me. I did think it was somewhat humorous though. Regarding The Force Unleashed II.....(high-pitched Gammorean-like squeal of delight)

Kojiro Kun: I haven't seen Claymore, but I'll take your word for it.

Rickrolled: So, its a 'meh' reaction?