So i decided to put the original 2nd and 3rd chapters together but i'm still editing so i'll probably change it again. I want to get my first Fanfic perfect. Bella and Edward belong to Stephanie.

Deep breath.

Breathe in.

It was just your imagination.

Breathe out.

He's not really there.

Breathe in.

You're just seeing things.

Breathe out.

I hate having to do this. I'd love to say that this breathing thing is stupid but it was my idea. It was my way of telling myself that Edward isn't there. That I'm not really seeing him.

And it kills me to do it.

I know what you're thinking, what the heck is she talking about? She must be crazy!

But you can think what you want because I know that you're method wouldn't be any better.

Not if you're soul mate had left you behind because of one incident and a few fears.

I might be crazy but damn. At least I'm trying to live my life now instead of acting like a freaking corpse. I say now because I did do that the first few months after he left. I was a damn train wreck!

Since then, I've come to terms with the fact that he's never coming back. I opted on a change of scenery for college. Figured it would give me a chance to leave my demons behind and actually have a chance to be myself again. So I moved to California and started attending Stanford.

I was right for a while. I was doing good. I actually made friends and it was amazing that they didn't judge me and write me off as crazy. They actually took the time to understand my problems. Well minus the vampire part. But the really got through to me and helped me deal a little better.

Did I mention that I was actually getting better for a while?

I stopped seeing him and I didn't have any dreams about him until Halloween. Damn vampire costumes brought him back to the center of my attention. Then the depression set in again.

Becca and Morgan got me to go see a professional. Said it would give me closure. Chick just gave me a prescription for some stupid pills. I saw her that once and never went back. Sure did give Bex and Morgan a piece of my mind about making me go though.

The pills didn't work and the "sightings" kept getting worse and worse.

I flipped when I heard him talking to me though.

At some point I stopped eating unless Morgan, or Bex made me. At least I didn't have to worry about the freshman 15.

I didn't go home for any holidays that year and I stayed at school over the summer because I didn't think Forks would help the situation.

The depression got so bad that on July 4th I saw him at the fireworks and I had a panic attack. I went home and that night I decided to commit suicide. If Morgan hadn't come back she would have found me dead hanging from the ceiling fan.

From then on they never left me alone.

On my 21st birthday, Becca and Morgan took me out and I had my first drink. I realized that when I drank he went away.

So I decided that whenever I saw him I would drink away my sorrows.

That's how i got here.

I'm here because it's where I go to escape my own thoughts.

It's my special buddy and it's called the Bat Bar.

Bat Bar. Ironic right? Ironic that I go to a bar that is named after an animal associated closely with vampires. Ironic that it's where I go to forget my vampire ex-boyfriend.

Told you I was crazy.

I'm still doing my deep breathing exercise as I walk into the bar. Why did I have to see him at a coffee shop today? I haven't seen since last Thursday and there he was. At a random coffee shop. on a Tuesday afternoon. It took me by complete surprise because I've never imagined him in a coffee shop before. To ordinary for him.

Walking into the bar I check my watch. 5:00 pm on the nose.

Figure I have about until 7 when Becca gets out of class until Morgan and her start to look for me. Better get my drink on while I can.

I laugh at myself a little bit as I think about the last time I didn't tell them I was at the bar. The look on their faces as they dragged my dead wait back to the dorms was hilarious. Somewhere in between laughing at them I threw up and I guess I passed out because I don't remember anything after that. At least I didn't think about him for a few days after wards.

I walk up to the bar and ask for a martini. Why not start slow today?

I'm deeply absorbed in my thoughts when I hear the chair beside me pull back and someone sits down.

"Hello, Bella" the stranger says to me.

I was immediately brought out of my thoughts because not only did the person know my name but that voice sounded too good to be true.

I know that voice all too well.

I turn and look at the stranger and I have to do a double take.

You're kidding me right?

"Damn! It never ends does it?"