So this is chapter is a lot longer than most of the other chapters, but I think you'll like it :) It's a sweet Jori (friendship) chapter; Tori reveals a few secrets to Jade and there's also a sweet Tandre moment during it! Hope you enjoy it!
Oh btw, this is the next to last chapter! But don't worry, I have a sequel all ready to post! I wasn't going to make it a sequel, but I felt it was a good stopping point, so I just decided to split it! Haha :)
…..
Tori's POV
My family didn't come back that day since my friends left pretty late, but they did call me and I got to talk to each of them for a few minutes. I was scheduled to leave at 8:00 the next day, so they told me they would be there at no later than 7:00.
Going to sleep that night was a challenge. I turned my light out and laid down at 10:30, but I couldn't get comfortable. I finally gave it up at eleven and just sat there and watched TV. It was too dark, so I turned the lamp on. There was nothing on TV, so I just flipped through the channels…over and over and over again.
I had probably gone through every channel five times each when a nurse poked her head in my room. "Hey. I didn't think you'd be awake right now." she said softly.
"I shouldn't be," I said back. "I just can't go to sleep."
"Oh, well, um…I was just going back to the baby ward about to feed Jadelynne, but…since your awake–"
"Of course!" I exclaimed.
"Wait, you didn't let me finish," She cleared her throat. "I know you haven't tried it yet and that it's pretty late, but…have you considered breast feeding?"
I blinked a few times. "Uh…" I was speechless for a moment. "I…I haven't even thought about that." Before, the thought of breast feeding was awkward, but it didn't seem so bad now that I had my own baby. I just wasn't sure how it would all work out.
"I can't make you do it." she told me. "It's all up to you, but it is very healthy for you and your baby. There are many benefits to breast feeding that bottle feeding just doesn't have."
"Um…" I gulped. "Well…I guess…I could give it a try, but…I wouldn't know where to start."
"I can help you." she said gently. "I help a lot of first time mothers breast feed."
"Oh, well, um…okay," I smiled. "Thanks,"
"Sure. I'll just go get Jadelynne." She turned and walked out of the room.
I sighed and leaned against my pillows. I couldn't believe I was about to breast feed my baby. It seemed weird that I would just pull my bra down while she helped me breast feed. I already felt a little awkward about it, but I reminded myself that this nurse, Hannah, was in the room when I gave birth to Jadelynne. Helping me breast feed was probably nothing compared to helping give birth.
A minute or two later, Hannah came in pushing the little cart. She stood at my bedside and then looked at me. "Ready?"
I nodded. "Yep, let's give it a try."
"Okay then," She leaned down and gently picked up Jadelynne, whom made the beginning sounds as if she was about to start crying. "Oh, I know, it's okay, precious." she said gently and then walked around the cart and transferred Jadelynne to my arms. "Here's Mama,"
I smiled at my daughter. "Hey baby," I whispered and leaned down and kissed her forehead.
The next few minutes felt really awkward, but it didn't seem to bother Hannah in any way possible. She told me that most ladies have trouble breast feeding the first time and that their baby doesn't latch properly, but Jadelynne did almost immediately. She also said that if it hurt or pinched, she was latched on incorrectly, but that if it just felt like a little bit of tugging, she was latched properly. All I felt was some tugging, so I knew Jadelynne was latched correctly.
"There you go." said Hannah with a smile. "You are breast feeding your baby."
"Oh, my gosh," I said and looked down at Jadelynne. I had a pillow under her to help her stay held up, but she was turned towards me more than being on the pillow. Her tummy was facing my tummy, which was how it was supposed to be. "I didn't expect this to be so calming." I had all my hair swept to the right side since Jadelynne was being breast fed on the left side.
"Yeah, it can be very calming." she said. "It's also a great bonding moment between mother and baby."
"Yeah…I can tell." I whispered. All I could do was stare at Jadelynne. She kept blinking her eyes, which would cause her to bat her eyelids and each time she did that, I could feel a tug in my heart. I couldn't get over how much I loved her.
"Well…I'll give you guys some privacy." She walked around the cart and headed towards the door. Before she walked out, she looked back at me and said, "I'll be back in here in about fifteen minutes to see how you're doing, but you seem to be doing great."
I nodded. "Yeah,"
She smiled and walked out, closing the door behind her.
I looked down at my baby and just stared at her face. I couldn't wait for morning so I could take her home with me. Looking at her beautiful little face, I couldn't believe that there was a time where I didn't want her. I'm so glad my mom made me hold her; if she hadn't done that, I would still think I didn't want her and she probably would have been given up for adoption. Just thinking about someone else claiming my baby as theirs made a chill go up my spine.
A few minutes later, I heard a knock on the door. "Tori?" I heard Hannah say.
"Come in," I called out.
She stuck her head in my room and said, "Would you be up to having a visitor?"
"Uh…" I glanced down at Jadelynne and looked back up at Hannah. "Is it a boy?" I'd feel awkward if a boy came in and saw me nursing my baby.
She chuckled. "No, it's a girl."
"Oh, okay," I said. "She can come in."
Hannah stepped out and then Jade walked in. "Hey Tori,"
"Hi Jade," I said with a smile. "Not that I don't want you here, but why are you here? And at this hour?"
"Couldn't sleep," she said and closed the door. "I thought I'd come by here to see if you were awake and it looks like you are." She walked up to my bedside. "Now I know why you asked the nurse if I was boy."
I giggled. "Yeah, sorry. I just…I didn't want a boy in here while doing this."
"I understand that." she said. "So…does that…hurt?"
"Nope," I said and looked down at Jadelynne. "And it's not supposed to. If it hurt, it would mean that the baby wasn't latched on properly. Sorry, I hope this isn't a weird conversation."
"No, it's fine," she told me. "I mean, I'm watching her do it, so it's not that weird."
I giggled and looked back down at Jadelynne. I was looking from Jade and Jadelynne every once in awhile. "You know…you'd think this would be awkward, but…it's not. It feels natural and…very calming." I gently ran my hand over Jadelynne's head, trying not to touch her soft spot. "It's one of the most calming moments since I've had her."
"Yeah, you look really calm." said Jade and then she sighed. "Tori…I wanna tell you something."
"What is it?" I asked quietly.
"I'm…I'm really sorry for all the times I've been mean to you." she said. "I mean, some of the things I did was awful. If I could take back what I did, I would. I'm really sorry."
I smiled at her. "Jade, it's okay. You kind of made it up to me when you called the police at that store."
"Why do you always bring that up?" she asked. She was trying to sound serious, but she had a slight smile.
"Because you don't realize how glad I am that you did that." I said. "Like you don't understand, I was scared to death to tell someone who I was. When the police did show up to the store, it took me like an hour to finally reveal who I was. That man had me scared out of my mind."
"Yeah, I could tell." she said. "Did you know it was me when we were standing side by side at the store?"
"Not when you just standing there, because I wasn't looking at you, but when you said something about wearing sunglasses in the store, I looked at you and I immediately knew it was you. I would know your voice anywhere."
She smiled. "That's why you were staring at me. I thought you had a staring problem or something,"
"No," I said with a giggle. "I just couldn't believe it was you. When did you realize it was me?"
"Well, when that man called you over to him and you told him you were coming, I recognized your voice, but I didn't know where I'd heard it from." I looked at her odd. "I mean, come on, it had been six months since I'd heard your voice. I didn't recognize it right off, but then when you spoke again, I was sure that it was you. That was when I immediately grabbed my phone and called the police."
"What was your first thought when you realized it was me?" I asked.
"Just…oh, my gosh, that's really her!" she said. "I couldn't believe it. My hands were shaking while dialing, but I managed to put the right number in and the police showed up soon after."
"Wait, so…did you stay in the store while they were questioning me and that man?"
"I was there for the first fifteen minutes," she said. "But then I realized that it would take awhile, so I went home. I hid away in my room with my TV on the news, hoping they would say something about you, and they finally did. It was soon after that that Andre called me to say that you'd been found, but…I already knew."
I giggled. "I guess Andre was pretty excited."
"Dude, I've never heard him that excited." she said. "You know I've never seen Andre as depressed as he was while you were missing. Did you guys get together right before you went missing?"
"It was literally the night before." I told her.
"Yeah, well, we didn't find out that you guys were together for another few weeks," she said. "We knew you and Andre were best friends, so it made sense that he was really upset, but he was more than upset. You know how he's always smiling and having a good time?" I nodded. "He never smiled and he moped around a lot. We were at lunch one day and he was just sitting there staring into space. I said, 'Andre, snap out of it. We all miss her.'"
"Wait, but I thought school had been released for summer," I said confused.
"Oh, yeah, it had been, but we were all eating lunch at a restaurant." she said. "We were taking a break from searching."
I nodded and let her continue.
"Anyway, after I said that, he looked up at me and gave me a very cold stare. Finally, he said, 'I've been in love with her since I met her and we finally got together, but then she just had to go missing. So excuse me for not being all happy.' He got up and left the restaurant."
I slowly smiled. Andre never told me about that. "He said that?" I said quietly.
"Mhmm," she said. "We all just kind of set there pretty confused about what had just happened. I actually felt bad for telling him to snap out of it and I apologized to him for it the next day and he said it was okay, but that he just missed you."
I nodded. "Was he that depressed for the whole six months I was missing?"
"Not for the whole six months, but it was for a good bit of it," she said. "The only time he didn't show signs of depression was while we were searching for you. He put all his energy in trying to find you." She slowly smiled. "Hey, I know this is random, but did you and Andre ever have a song?"
"Uh…no, not really," I said confused. "Why?"
"Well…one day at lunch…I think it was the middle of November…Cat came up to the lunch table and played a song from her phone. By the first verse, Andre was in tears. I acted like I didn't notice, but I did. By the end of the song, he was almost crying. He got up and left the table."
"What song was it?" I asked quietly.
"Have you ever heard 'I Run to You' by Lady Antebellum?"
My eyes widened and I instantly had a flashback, but it was a good one. One before I was kidnapped.
I looked at Andre and smiled. "Ready?"
"Yep, are you?"
I nodded. "Hit it,"
Andre pressed play and the music started to play. Soon, we were singing the words to it.
(Andre) I run from hate, I run from prejudice
I run from pessimist, but I run too late
(Me) I run my life or is it running me, run from my past
I run too fast or too slow it seems
(Both) When lies become the truth
That's when I run to you
This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you, baby
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to
I run to you
We run on fumes
Your life and mine like the sands of time slippin' right on through
And our love's the only truth
That's why I run to you
This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you, baby
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to
I run to you
(Andre) Whoa
(Me) Oh, I run to you
(Both) This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you, baby
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to
(Me) I run to you
(Both) I run to you, yeah
(Andre) Whoa
(Me) Oh, I run to you
(Andre) I run to you, girl, whoa
I always run to you
(Me) Run to you
Run to
I put the microphone down and looked up at Andre. He was smiling at me. "Well?" I asked.
He laid the mic down. "Perfect," He walked up to me and grabbed me in a tight hug. "Absolutely perfect,"
I tightly hugged him back for a moment before we both pulled apart. Our eyes caught and we just stared into each other's eyes. We both slightly leaned in, but then I smiled and cleared my throat. "Um…I…I gotta go." I backed up a little bit.
"Now?" he asked.
"Uh…yeah," I told him. "I have…a lot of homework to finish."
"But it's Friday night," he said. "Why would you wanna do your homework on Friday night?"
"I don't know." I mumbled. "I just do." I cleared my throat again. "I'll see you later." I turned to walk out of the room, but I guess I wasn't watching where I was going, because I ran into the wall next to the door.
Andre let out a muffled chuckle. "Watch where you're going there, girl."
My cheeks flushed red, but I still managed a small smile. "Yeah, I'm clumsy. Bye," I quickly walked out of the room and out of the school as quickly as I could.
I smiled and looked up at Jade. She raised her eyebrows. "Okay, uh…you had a really weird look on your face. Are you okay?"
I shrugged with a smile. "Just having a flashback,"
"A flashback?" she asked. "And you were smiling about that?"
"No, it was a good flashback." I said. I told her about what went on in my flashback and she was smiling widely by the end of the story.
"You ran into a wall?" she asked with a giggle.
"Yep," I said.
"Wow, you're such a klutz."
I sighed. Jade would never change. "You know…changing the subject, there was this one time I heard people searching for me." I didn't know why I was telling this to Jade. It hurt so much to talk about, but for some reason, I wanted Jade to know more of what happened to me. It was good in releasing some of the pain. "I was…sitting with the man in his house and…I heard yelling outside. I looked out the window and I saw people in orange vests walking down the streets and it sounded like they were calling out my name. I stood up and said, 'They're looking for me,'
"The man basically laughed in my face and said, 'Let them look. They won't find you.'
"I crossed my arms and said, 'Unless I go out and expose myself,' and he did not like me saying that. I got punished for that."
She gulped. "What did he do?" she whispered.
"Strapped me to the bed and beat me." I said.
"Oh, my gosh, Tori, that's awful," she said. "Is that the worst thing he did?"
I eyed her. "Jade…I have a baby because of him. What does that tell you?"
She slightly blushed. "Oh, yeah, right. Sorry," She cleared her throat. "So…I know he scared you really badly, but…what made you not wanna tell the police officer who you were? If I'm getting too personal, just tell me and I'll stop."
"Oh, no, it's fine," I said. "Um...basically…he threatened me. He told me that if I ever revealed my true self to anyone that he'd kill me, my family, and my friends. It was bad enough when he said me and my family, but when he brought my friends in the mix, it made it a hundred times worse." I hesitated. "I mean, he was obviously bluffing about doing anything, but at the time, I didn't think he was. I thought he was being serious."
She nodded. "Did he ever…almost kill you?"
"So many times," I said. "His favorite game was choking me. There were times when I thought he would never let go, but then he finally would. That's why I had handprint bruises around my neck a lot."
Jade was about to ask another question, but the door opened and Hannah walked in. "Hey girls," she said. "Tori, are you still doing okay?"
"Yeah," I looked down at Jadelynne. She was still fluttering her eyes. "Doing good,"
"Great," she said. "Just press the call button if you need anything."
"Okay, thanks," I said and then she walked out.
Jade turned and looked at me. "Wow, it must be pretty cool getting waited on hand and foot."
I shrugged. "It's okay, I guess. I'd rather go home, though."
"Yeah, I bet," she said. "So…what did it feel like to finally be away from him?"
"It felt surreal." I said. "I thought I was gonna be with this man forever; that's how he made it sound. Just…I don't know. It was an amazing feeling, to say the least."
"Yeah," she whispered. "And I bet it was great seeing your family again."
I smiled. "It was the best thing ever. I hugged and cried with all of them."
"Even Trina?"
I giggled and said, "Yes, even Trina,"
She smiled. "You know…I gotta be honest. When we all came to your house the day you were found, I nearly cried while you and Andre were hugging. I think all of us nearly did. I don't mean this to be rude, but you don't understand how happy Andre was to see you. I bet he was holding onto you tightly."
"He was, but I was holding on tightly as well," I said. "I missed him so much."
"Aww, you didn't miss any of your other friends?" she asked jokingly.
"Of course I missed you guys!" I exclaimed. "Why do you think I hugged all of you guys so tightly? I was so happy to all of you." I hesitated. "What was your reaction when you saw me on the steps?"
"Well, we actually didn't think we'd get to see you that day." she told me. "Your mom was talking to us and saying that you were taking a shower and would probably be going to bed afterwards since you were exhausted and that it would be better if we dropped by the next morning, but Andre kept arguing with her and saying that we had to see you. Your mom was saying something, but then we heard your voice from the stairs. We all looked at you and…it was you."
"Wow, you looked at me and it was me," I said. "Who would've thought?"
She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. It's like…we hadn't seen you in six months solid and to just see you standing there, alive and well, was…I don't even know the right words. It was amazing to say the least."
I nodded. "Yeah, I was kidding. It was pretty amazing for me to see all you guys. It just felt like I hadn't seen you guys in forever. I always found it annoying when Robbie talked about Rex and his Northridge girls, but when he was talking about them that day, I found it so cool. All the simple things made me happy."
"And can you believe that it was the next day when you found out you were pregnant?" she said. "That's really crazy to think about since you have your baby with you now."
I nodded. "Yeah, no kidding," I looked down at Jadelynne. She seemed a little fidgety. "Uh Jade? Can you…look away for a sec?"
"Oh, yeah, sure," she said and looked down and covered her eyes.
I gently pulled Jadelynne away and then pulled my bra back on and pulled my straps back on my shoulders. I was already wearing a special kind of bra that wouldn't let it show if I leaked a little. "Okay, you can open your eyes now."
She looked up. "Better?"
"Yeah," I said and then pulled my knees up and laid Jadelynne on my thighs. I pulled the sleeves to my gown back on my shoulders and then picked Jadelynne back up and held her against my chest. "Just had to get situated,"
"And are you situated?" she asked.
"Yep," I said. "Hey I have a question…why are you being so nice to me?"
She raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you used to be really mean, but ever since I was found, you've hardly been mean to me at all." I said. "I'm actually seeing the nice side of Jade."
She sighed heavily. "I guess…I don't know."
"You don't know?" I asked. "So…you're being nice to me just because?"
"Why are you making me say it?" she said aggravated. This was the Jade I was used to.
"Because I'm curious and because I can't read minds." I told her. "Can you please just tell me?"
"Fine," she said still aggravated. "The truth is…I didn't think you'd be found and I told myself that if by some crazy miracle you were found that I'd be nice to you. So…it's kind of like a second chance."
"Aww, that's so nice, Jade," I said. "If I wasn't holding Jadelynne right now, I'd hug you."
"Okay, this is so incredibly confusing." she said. "First it's Jade, then Jadelynne, then Jade, and blah! I'm so confused!"
I laughed at her confusion. "Okay…you're Jade and my daughter is Jadelynne. I won't call her Jade; it will be Jadelynne."
"But my name is Jadelynne," she said. "I still get called that if I'm in trouble or something, so I respond to both."
I raised my eyebrows. "Want me to name her after someone else?"
"Oh, no, no, that's okay," she said. "I'll get used to it."
"Good," I said and looked at Jadelynne's face. "Hey beautiful…are you sleeping?" I ran my hand over her back and she stirred a little, but she stayed asleep.
"She is so adorable!" said Jade. She shook her head and said, "I used to hate babies, but there is no way I could hate your baby. She is absolutely precious."
"Thank you," I said. "I can't wait to get home with her."
"I can imagine," she told me.
I smiled and nodded and just watched Jadelynne sleep. Then suddenly, I thought of something that I talked about with Andre from awhile back. I told myself that I would talk to Jade about it, but I never got the chance to. Now that we were alone, it was the perfect. "Uh…Jade?"
"Yeah?"
"For some reason, I just thought about this, so it will sound really random." I started off. "Do you remember when I sang for the Platinum Music Awards?"
She nodded. "Yeah, why?"
"And…at the last minute, you gave me my spot back to perform? Remember?"
"Yeah," she told me. "It was me that did that."
"Yeah, but still. It was awhile back, so I wasn't sure if you remembered or not," I sighed shakily. "Andre told me, the day I was found, that…the video chat had been left on and so…you saw me and Beck talking and…almost kiss."
She slowly nodded. "Yeah…I did,"
"If Beck and I almost kissed, why would you be so nice to me?"
"Well, first of all, Beck and I were broken up at the time." she said. "As much as I didn't like it, I didn't have a right to say anything. We weren't even dating. And…I wanted to be mad at you, but if you remember right, Beck wanted to kiss you and you refused because of me. So…I don't know, it was just the fact that you would be so considerate in that way."
I nodded. "I felt that it was wrong to be kissing my friend's ex-boyfriend."
"So now that I answered your question, I have one." She cleared her throat. "You told Beck that you wouldn't kiss him because of me. What if I wasn't in the picture? Would you have kissed Beck?"
"I…I…I don't know." I said honestly. "Maybe. Don't kill me, but…I kinda liked Beck in that way. We were becoming really good friends and the more time I spent with him, the more I liked him. But at the same time, you and I had a friendship. It was a very small one and very fragile, but because of the history we've had, I felt that we were kinda friends. And…even though I thought you weren't watching, a part of me knew that if Beck and I did kiss, it would get back to you somewhere. And I didn't wanna ruin that." I sighed. "So…we forgot about it; Beck and I never spoke of it again. Then…you and he got back together. And then Andre and I got together. Truth be told, I've loved Andre from the very first time I met him. There was this connection we had that Beck and I just don't have. Don't get me wrong, Beck is a really cool guy. He's been there for me when no one else has. So…I do consider him one of my best friends. But…after entering a relationship with Andre, I realize that he's the only guy I wanted to be with. One of my worst fears while missing was that Andre had found someone else. It was very selfish of me, because I knew we weren't technically together anymore. A part of me was still hoping he didn't find someone else."
"He never even went on a date with anyone while you were gone," said Jade. "Girls would talk to him and try to ask him out, but he always refused. He didn't wanna go out with anyone after he'd already committed to you…even though you were far away."
I smiled. "You know…I know that LA is so huge, but the man and I never left LA. We were in a bad part of it, but we were still in LA the whole time."
"Yeah, but not that we would know that," she said. "For all we knew, you could have been in some other country."
I giggled. "Yeah, but I wasn't. I never left the city."
Just then, Hannah walked in the room; this meant she would be taking Jadelynne to the baby ward. She seemed shocked that I wasn't still breast feeding. "Oh, hi guys. How did the nursing go, Tori?"
"It went great." I said. "It came naturally for me. It's weird how some women can't get to go right for them."
"Every woman is different," she said gently. "Well…I think you need to get some rest, so would it be okay if I take Jadelynne back to the baby ward?"
At first I was gonna object and say I wasn't tired, but I really was tired. My eyelids were getting heavy. I nodded and said, "Yeah, it's okay, but I haven't burped her yet."
"I can do that for you for you'd like." she told me.
I nodded and then lifted Jadelynne up to hand off to Hannah. Before I did, I whispered in her ear, "I love you, baby girl." and then I handed her off.
I tried to be quiet saying that, but Jade and Hannah still heard me. Jade smiled and Hannah said, "If you wake up in the night, you can come by and visit her. She's not going anywhere." She put her in the little cart.
"Thanks, but…I'm really tired, so I'll probably sleep through the night."
"Alright, well if you don't…you know where she is." She got the cart with her and walked out with it.
I looked down and crossed my arms. I cleared my throat and said shakily, "I just hate it every time Jadelynne leaves the room. I wish she could stay with me forever."
"You'll have your whole life with her." said Jade gently. "After tomorrow, you can have her and never let her go."
I giggled and then yawned. "Well, I'll have to let her go sometime. She'll grow up, graduate high school, and then leave." My eyes filled up with tears thinking about that. "No!" I put my hands over my eyes. "I don't want that to happen."
"Tori," said Jade with a sigh. "That's eighteen years from now. You have plenty of time with her."
"Yeah, but it's just scary to think about."
"I know." she said and then looked at the TV. Some old sitcom was on. "Hey, what's this?" She set down on my bed. I scooted over and she laid down on the bed.
"I don't know," I said. "I was flipping through channels before Jadelynne was brought in and I guess I forgot to turn it off when she came in."
She nodded. We watched the show on low volume for awhile, but then we both got really sleepy. I was about to ask Jade if she was gonna go home, but I was asleep before I could ask her.
….
And I obviously don't own "I Run to You" by Lady Antebellum! Please review!