A/N: I'm BAAAAAAACK! Missed my story while i was gone and i hope you did too. Still want to hear your thoughts on the story. So REVIEW pls.(Thx to Mr. Fanfiction for being the first and thx to those who have me on favorite or alert!)

SM owns Twilight

There is an unbelievable pounding in my head right now.

"Bella. Bella are you up?"

"No." I groan.

"Then why are you talking?" I hear Becca laugh quietly.

"I'm never drinking again." My voice cracks.

"That's what you always say, Bell."

"I mean it this time. Now leave me alone." I try to shoo her away but my arm won't move. It feels like it's filled with lead.

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving" she says like she has her hands up. I hear her footsteps retreating but the suddenly stop. "But I have some questions for you when you get up."

"What questions?"

"Just wait till you get up." Her footsteps walk out of the room and into the living room.

Great. Questions. Wonder what they'll be about this time.

You see, I know she means well. But Becca has a way of getting all in your business. She kind of reminds of Jessica Stanley sometimes. But there is a BIG difference.

Becca actually wants to hear the answers from me and get my opinion without inserting her own.

Unlike Jessica, her number one priority is helping me. NOT getting the latest gossip.

That's why I love her.

Now Morgan, she's a whole different story. She's rather quiet and doesn't say much but you can bet when she does it will be something to make you think.

There was a period of time sophomore year when I had an obsession with smoothies. So I would buy fresh fruit and frozen fruit then get mad when the fresh fruit spoiled. After hearing my loud cussing she came in asked what was wrong. I told her about the fruit spoiling and she looked at me as if I was missing some obvious fact. She shook her head and said simply "Why don't you just stop buying frozen fruit and freeze the fresh fruit?"

I had to laugh at how obvious that was.

But that's my Morgan. Always knowing the obvious solution that no one else thought of.

I was just brushing my teeth when Morgan walked into the bathroom. She was in her pajamas and her light brown hair in a messy top knot.

"Hey Morgan" I said as I was rinsing my mouth.

She gave a simple wave before she grabbed her pouch with her hair products in it and walked back to her room.

I laughed to myself as her silence reminded me of the first time I met her. She was among the 3 other girls assigned to our suite. We spent the first day and most of the night unpacking and getting to know each other. As we were selling our souls to each other Morgan just sat, watched and listened. I thought she was a mute because she didn't say anything until the next morning.

I'll never forget that the first thing I heard her say was, "Um. So I want you guys to know that it's nothing against any of you, but until I get to know you I would prefer you not ask me questions about my past." I pulled her to the side a little while later and asked her why and she simply replied, "Because one of you could be an ax murder or a psycho. Didn't you see that movie the roommate?" I had to laugh at the part about the movie.

It wasn't until a week later that she actually told us about herself. But she did make me think about spilling my guts to the next friend I made.

After I finished getting ready I walked into the main room and sst at my desk. I laid my head down on my arms covering my eyes to keep the light out.

"Valerie never came home last night so she's probably with her boyfriend or something." Becca said as she moved my books out of the way and set a cup of coffee in front of me.

"Is that supposed to surprise me?" I said lifting my head.

Valerie was our other suitemate. She could be really obnoxious sometimes but we don't really have to deal with it most of the time. She's hardly ever home.

She spends most of her time partying or staying over with her boyfriend. If she's not doing that she's in the library doing homework and sleeping. I will never understand how she has one of the highest GPA's of our class.

Morgan walked into the main room still in her pajamas. She went to the mini-fridge and grabbed a yogurt and a spoon. She sat down on the couch and began to eat while she looked at me.

Becca turned my chair around and sat on the couch next to Morgan. Her and Morgan exchanged a look and then she turned to me.

"Bella, we need to talk."

Brace myself.

"Bells, you know we care about you," Becca began.

"We love you," Morgan chimed in.

Becca continued, "We're worried about you. We've known you for two and a half years and the whole time we've known that you went through something that devastated you. We know that it still to this day affects every choice you make. We listened to you and we understood how you felt."

"But Bella you don't deal well" Morgan said looking down like it pained her to say it.

So that's where they were going with this. A small part of my mind went back to the same conversation I'd had with Charlie 3 years ago. He had the same concerned tone of voice I hear in both of them now.

If they suggest I see a psychiatrist I'll lose it.

Becca continued bringing me out of my thoughts. "You scared us freshman year. Do you know how bad I felt when Morgan called me crying because she found you drunk about to hang yourself? You didn't even realize that you were drunk. She still has nightmares about it but she doesn't tell you. We watched you get better after that. You were more of the girl we met that first night in the dorm."

"And then you started drinking." Morgan looked up I saw the tears gathering in her eyes. I wanted so badly to go and comfort her but I stayed put. The urge to reach out to her increased as the tears spilled over but I kept my arms pressed tightly to my sides.

"Bella, you're drinking is out of hand. It's okay to do it once in a while but you do it almost every night. It's not healthy or beneficial to you." Becca said.

She paused and I waited to hear the point. I know what she's going to say. I don't want to hear it but I know it's coming. Morgan confirmed my suspicion.

"You need help" she said.

The entire time they were talking I had been silent but this was too much. No matter how much I expected it I was still pissed that they would suggest it.

"What you think I'm crazy? Is that it? Do you want to commit me to an institution?" I said curtly.

Becca's eyes widened as she looked at me with surprise. "No Bella. We would never think anything like that. We just think you need to cut down on your drinking. We think it would help if you went to AA meetings."

"We would never tell you that you need shrink or that you were crazy." Morgan said and from the look on her face I believed her. I know that they just care about me.

That didn't mean I was going down without a fight, because I was still pissed.

"Well, it's nice that you two care about me and I do for you too, but I'm not going to AA. I don't have a drinking problem so I don't need it." I got to my feet and walked to the door. I grabbed my keys as I was slipping on my Uggs-yes Uggs in California- and walked out of the door.

I knew that I had a drinking problem. Hell my whole life now revolved around my drinking. Why do you think all of my classes are in the afternoon?

12:00pm-Wake up with hangover.

12:30pm-Drink cup after cup of coffee.

1:00pm-Watch tv.

3:00pm-Go to afternoon classes.

7:00pm-Go to bat bar and drink.

2:00am-Come home wasted and pass out.

That was my life on loop now. Asher Roth's I Love College describes my life almost perfectly. Except I don't want to do this for the rest of my life.

Something was nagging at me as i walked down the dorm hall. She never asked her questions. Something to look forward to when i got back.

Yip yip yipee!

I walked through the parking lot and got into my car. It was a chevy but not my favorite one.

My rusted, beat up, old chevy was now a still life tribute to classic chevy's on the curb by Charlie's house. I was devastated when it finally died on me but didn't give up on it until Jake told me there was nothing he could do. I was reluctant to get a new car but I had to have a way around while I was at school.

Don't get me wrong, I love my new car. But nothing compares to my faded red rust bucket.

Now I have a black '09 chevy Malibu. It might not be my rust bucket but it definitely has it's perks. GPS was a welcome change considering I still get lost a lot. It's also easier to stop, start, and turn.

As soon as I got in the car I turned it on and relaxed to the familiar purr of it. I hadn't even realized I was so tense. I was pulling out of the parking lot when I decided to blast my thoughts away with music.

Music was my new anti-anxiety medicine. I used to not listen to it after he left because all the songs reminded me of him but now it helps me clear my head. If I concentrate on the lyrics my worries fly away in the wind.

But this was not one of those times.

The song that blasted out of the speakers only pissed me off more.

'They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no.'

Your freaking kidding me right?