AN: Thanks to my awesome beta Princess Moon Shadow. And thanks Tyra for helping me through my initial writers block.

SM owns everything.

Amy Winehouse was still blasting out of my speakers as I pulled into the starbucks parking lot.

I could sense how close I was to my delicious coffee. Nothing fancy. I'm not the type who takes longer to make my order than it does to make it. I just want it plain with sugar.

The stronger the coffee the shorter the hangover.

I was lucky the line was short considering the morning rush was over. I got in and out in under 15 minutes so here I am, sitting in the parking lot staring into space. I played with the stereo for a little while before I started going through my console. After I found my sunglasses I just sat there with them on drinking my coffee, once again staring off into space.

I didn't have anywhere to go because I never have any morning classes, I don't have a job, and I don't want to go back and face the music with Bex and Morgan. So I just sat there.

After a while I got bored so I picked up my phone and started scrolling through it. Not usual for me but hell, I'm really bored. I decided to call an old friend I hadn't talked to in a while. I dialed the number and waited as it rang once, twice, three times before I heard the voice on the other end.

That deep, gruff, woodsy voice that always made me happier. My personal sunshine.

Jacob.

"Hello." His voice was still heavy with sleep.

"Hey Jake, you awake?" I asked.

"Stupid question Bells. What's up with you?" he replied laughing.

I thought about it for a second. "Nothing. Just dealing with my crazy roommates who think i drink too much." I laughed at myself and how nonchalantly I said that.

I heard his hesitation on the other end of the line coughed and replied. "How often have you been drinking?"

"Just every now and then" I lied. He saw right through it even through a phone.

"Bells, be honest."

"Okay," I admitted. "I drink almost every night. But I only do it to escape my own head for a while."

He sighed. "Bella, you can't just drink to get rid of your problems."

"I know, Jake, I know."

"You could have just called me when you were stressed" he said. "Drinking sure wasn't gonna make it any better."

Great. Now I'm hearing it from both sides of the court. What's next the, bar owner gonna get on me?

"I don't need another lecture Jake. That's not what I called for." It came out a little more curtly than it was supposed to.

His voice calmed down. "Okay Bells. No lecture. What did you call about?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"Okay then. Talk."

I hesitated deciding how to put my thoughts into words. I took a deep breath.

"I saw him."

"What?"

I took two deep breaths.

"I saw Edward." I said.

He let out another sigh. "Bella," he hesitated "I thought you were past this."

Why did I say anything? I should have known he would react like this. He thinks I'm crazy for sure. I remember when I told him the first time that I had been seeing him 3 years ago.

It was right after we went cliff diving and were sitting in my truck warming up. I told him about how I had been doing dangerous stuff just so I could see him. He believed me. At first. At some point I guess he got tired of it because whenever I brought it up he would change the subject. I stopped bringing it up and he noticed. He asked me if I had been seeing him lately and can you guess what I did?

I lied.

I told him that I stopped seeing him and that I was past that 'stage of grieving' as he put it. Ever since then I haven't said a word to him about….Edward.

This was a first in almost 3 years.

"He talked to me. We had a conversation."

"Bella, where you drinking when he talked to you?" he asked. His voice questioned my sanity.

I knew he wouldn't believe me.

"Yes, Jake, I was. But that doesn't make a difference because I really did see him. He was sitting right next to me."

He sighed yet again and I realized how annoying that was. "Bella, Bella, Bella..."

That's where I got pissed. Not only did he not believe me but now he was talking to me in a condescending tone like I was a child.

"You know what Jake? I called to talk to you and get some support. I don't need you treating me like a child so don't you dare 'Bella, Bella, Bella' me!" I took a deep breath to calm myself. I hadn't even realized that I was yelling. I guess he was surprised at my outburst because he sat in silence for a few seconds before he responded.

"Sorry Bells. It's just... I don't know. You've been doing so much better since you went to California. I don't want you to go back to how you were before."

Did I mention that I never told him about my near suicide? As a matter of fact the only people who know about it are Morgan and Bex. He thinks everything has been sunshine and daisies since I left Forks.

"Jake..." I said and sighed. Was sighing contagious? "I'm fine. I've never been better." I really hoped he didn't pick up on my lie.

Of course I wasn't fine. Last night I saw Edward for the first time since 3 days after my 18th birthday. I know I wasn't imagining it because the bartender wouldn't have talked to him unless he was there. Looking back I should have noticed but other people staring when he started yelling but at the time I just chalked it up to my imagination.

But can you blame me? He left me more than three years ago with nothing but nightmares and my previously mentioned sightings. Who in their right mind would really have believed he was there after that?

That's right. No one.

So whether or not Jake, or anyone for that matter, believed me, I know that I saw Edward last night. He sat with me and talked with me. He WAS there. That I am absolutely sure of.

When he spoke again I knew he was putting effort into sounding supportive. "So what did you talk about?" I could still hear the strain in his voice though.

I went on to tell him about the incidents of last night, leaving out the suicide attempt part. He listened quietly thought I knew he was dying to say something.

When I was finished I felt as though a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"So you're telling me that the leech just showed up, unexpected and tried to make small talk?" He asked. His tone told me that he still didn't believe me which pissed me off. Why would I lie about something like this?

"Yes Jake."

"Bella..." He sighed yet again.

That did it. That one little sound threw me over the edge.

"Jake. I already told you that I called you for support. I already know how crazy I sound but I actually thought you would believe me. I at least thought you would try. But since you don't then I guess I was wrong."

"Bella, I-"

"I'll talk to you later. Bye." I said hanging up the phone. I threw it on the passenger's side floor and folded my arms across my chest. At some point I decided I had been sitting there long enough so I turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

I hadn't even realized where I was going until I was in front of the Bat bar. Apparently my subconscious had registered the fact cold coffee just wasn't cutting it. I needed something alot stronger.

I hesitated getting out of the car. I know I have class in an less than an hour and I know that after drinking I won't make it through a whole class. I also know that whenever I go home I'll have to deal with Bex and Morgan. Upon my realization that either way I would be dealing with some form of crap or another I decided, what the hell. Might as well deal with it happy-and currently my only happiness comes from the bottom of a bottle.

I got out of my car and walked into the bar. I was approaching my usual bar stool when I stopped dead in my tracks.

A lot of things where wrong with this picture.

I should be getting ready for my afternoon class. I should not be in a bar.

I should have gotten dressed before I left. I should not be standing here in pajama pants, a STANFORD sweatshirt and Uggs.

I should be drinking coffee and eating breakfast. I should not be planning to get tanked at 1 in the afternoon.

So many things wrong with this picture but the only thing that registered in my mind was the person sitting in my stool looking at me expectantly.

I was overwhelmed when she jumped up and enveloped me in a tight hug that I could barely speak.

I attempted to form a full sentence but only one word came out.

"Alice." I breathed.

AN: Things are about to get busy. But between school, AP work and volleyball I will try my hardest to update at least once a week. Bear with me.

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