Ah.. look at me being all badass and updating quickly :D... But this is a once in a lifetime thing y'all are experiencing so savor it!

Before I give out my penguins though, I wanna give a shoutout & a cute baby penguin to EverlastingRusher cause she actually said what I originally had planned, that they were twins :D

Now! Penguin-giveaway time! I wanna give cute little fluffy penguins to Kendalls LogieBear, Her Pillow James, allthingslovex, kendallsgirl12, crazyBTR, kikkina123 because they guessed correctly! I expected there would be a lot, cause it was kinda obvious :D

Disclaimer: I don't own the names Kendall Schmidt, James Maslow, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Kendall Knight, Katie, Mrs. Knight, Kevin, Kenneth, only the characters :D

And thanks for the reviews everyone! Enjoy!

Cosmic Jokes

Her voice faltered when she saw me, and I looked her in the eyes. She was shocked? It was almost as if she hadn't seen me in a long time and she was shocked to see me after all this time.

A shaking hand covered her mouth and she paled, saying the most unexpected thing. 'Holy shit.'

'Mom?' Kendall asked. 'What's wrong?'

He went up to her, as I entered and shut the door behind me. I was not planning on spending the rest of this conversation outside.

'What's wrong?' Kendall asked again, but she ignored him. She continued looking at me as if she'd seen a ghost.

'Um... hi,' I said awkwardly, giving my awkward wave.

She began to cry. 'Whoa,' Kendall said holding her as she broke down in tears. 'Why are you crying?' He turned to me. 'Why is she crying?' he mouthed.

How the hell was I supposed to know? I shrugged and followed them as he carried her into what I assumed was the living room.

'I'm sorry,' she was whispering over and over, as Kendall made her sit down, and he stood next to me.

'What's the matter, mom? What's wrong?'

She wiped away her tears, and smiled. 'Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything just got right.'

Is she mental? I thought, but I pushed away that notion as she spoke up again.

'Kendall,' she said, making both of us look up, but she wasn't talking to me. 'He's your brother.'

Okay. What?

I came here to save a heart, not to be told that I have another mother.

I laughed awkwardly. 'Um... I'm not your son. Uh... I have parents...'

I trailed off, really unsure where this was going. Was this all some sort of cosmic joke?

Kendall, on the other hand, was staring at his mother as if wondering why she would lie to him.

'Fine,' I said, really hoping she was lying, because I really, I just couldn't deal with any shit today. 'Explain why you said that.'

She sighed. 'Sit.' We did so and she began her story.

'When I was first married, we were poor. We used to live in a tiny hut, and we couldn't even afford to feed ourselves. Then I got pregnant. We were so depressed because we wanted the child so badly, yet we had no money whatsoever. So we had to put him up for adoption. Right after that, my husband, John, got a good job and we were able to maintain a better life. Then you, Kendall,' she pointed to blondie, 'were born, and then Katie. After Katie was born, John died in a car accident.'

She sighed and continued. 'We named the first child Kendall, but after we gave him up for adoption, I'd loved the name Kendall, so I named my second child Kendall also. And Kendall, you're blond because you have John's eyes and hair, while the other Kendall has brown hair and eyes just like Katie and I.'

I got up. This was all too much. I began to pacing rapidly up and down. 'So, what you're saying is that you're my real mother?'

She nodded.

'And he's,' I pointed at blondie, 'my brother?'

She nodded again.

'Are you completely mental?' I shouted at her and she flinched.

'W-What do you mean?' She said, her voice quavering.

'I come in this house to talk to blondie here and now I get blondie's mother telling me a completely insane story that actually makes sense! Why does it fucking make sense?' I semi-yelled at her.

'Because it's true.' Surprisingly, Mrs. Knight didn't say it, blondie did.

'What?' I whispered, sinking down onto the couch, my head in my hands.

'You and I have the same facial structure. We look almost the same, except for our hair and eye colour. Why can't it be true?'

My hands felt wet, and to my utter shock, I realized I was crying. Why was I crying? Because it was true? Because I've been lied to all these years? Because I finally found my real mother?

I wiped my eyes and looked up, at the person who made me, but never got the chance to raise me in the way that a mother should. But I didn't blame her for putting me up for adoption. She didn't have the money or resources, so she did what she thought was best.

My heart believed the story, but my stubborn-ass head was still sending me into confliction. But thankfully, I've learnt to go by my heart and not my head.

How was I supposed to react to this news? Was I supposed to leave my supposedly foster parents and stay with my 'biological' mother?

For so many years, I'd lived with my 'parents' and my two brothers, Kevin and Kenneth. Who were Kevin and Kenneth? Were they my real brothers? None of us really looked alike. I didn't know whether to happy or sad or angry. I thought of the many fun time I had with my other family.

I whipped out my phone, and ignoring the other two in the room, I dialled my mother back in LA.

When she answered, I immediately asked her, 'Am I adopted?'

'What? Kendall, are you okay?'

'Just answer the goddamn question!' I shouted. Almost instantly I regretted it. Why had I lost my temper so quickly? I'd trained myself to keep in my temper for so long, and now all that went to waste.

I heard a soft sob on the phone. 'Yes, Kendall. We adopted you when you were still a baby.'

I squeeze my eyes shut. So it was true.

I hung up the phone on her. I know it was mean, but all these emotions were so overwhelming I couldn't think straight.

I looked at my mother, my real mother, and smiled. 'Hi mom,' I said.

Tears fell down her face and I walked over to her and hugged her.

'So wait,' blondie said, looking stupefied. 'We're both Kendall Knight?'

...

*James Maslow PoV*

'I am so stupid!' I exclaimed as Carlos and I walked through the hotel's private park.

'No you're not,' Carlos said. 'It's not your fault. At least you didn't kiss him.'

Was it just me or was there relief in his voice? No, it was impossible. It was just a figment of my imagination.

'No, that would have been easier, if I'd just kissed him, then I'd just be gay, and I'd have him, at least to lean on when people start to bitch me out. But I didn't do it, and now, I don't have anything, and people are looking at me like if I'm a murderer or something. I just wish I kissed him.'

'So you're gay?'

Shit. I squeezed my eyes shut. I'd forgotten who I was talking to. The 'no' was there; ready to escape my lips, but I swallowed it. Carlos was my friend, and if he loved me as a friend, he'd be able to accept me for who I am.

'Yes,' I whispered, my heart pounding as if trying to escape.

'Hey, it's okay,' he said, smiling up at me.

I frowned. Was this the same Carlos who reacted like that when Kendall inferred that he was gay?

'But it's not. My entire life is ruined,' I said, deciding to forget that whole scene.

'No it's not. You're perfectly fine. But I wanna tell you something,' he said, looking around, making sure no one was around.

'What?' I said, and then I caught a glimpse of his eyes. They mirrored mine; they were exactly the same way I felt before I told Kendall I was gay.

Ha. Gay my ass.

'I-I'm gay,' he said, 'I thought it might be some comfort to you if you knew the truth.'

I slapped him. I couldn't help it. Blame me or not. He deserved it. Because all I remembered when he said it was 'Eew Kendall, I'm not a fag.'

I'm not a fag.

It was because of Carlos I ruined my life. Because I thought he was a homophobe I gave away what may have been my only chance at love.

And now he was fucking gay? And he thought I was going to take this quietly?

Bullshit.

'Ow! What was that for?' he said, rubbing his cheek.

'I don't like hypocrites, especially ones I destroy half my life for,' I hissed. Fuck, there were tears in my eyes now. I walked away from him, ignoring his calls after me.

I faintly remembered the conversation I had the night before with Kendall.

I know. But when I was about to kiss him, I remembered Carlos-

What was his response? Carlos is an asshole.

Was Kendall the only one I could trust?

Although I wasn't sure he was even talking to me after what had happened this morning.

But he always forgave me. I just hoped that he did it again.

...

*K. Schmidt PoV*

I looked around blondie's room. I frowned when I saw pieces of glass on the ground, from the broken mirror, but I didn't say or ask anything.

I was still having a hard time thinking of him as my brother.

'So what do you want?' he said, sitting on his bed.

There were posters of Big Time Rush plastered all over his walls. He had a BTR coverlet, and the BTR CDs and DVDs strewn around his computer.

'You have five Elevate albums?' I asked incredulously.

Then something interesting caught my eye. His laptop was on and open on his bed, and his background was a picture of James with many hearts. I raised an eyebrow, and when he saw what I was looking at, he blushed profusely. 'I-I have to change that.'

I sat on the bed next to him. 'Because of last night?'

He shrugged. 'I guess. Do you know why I shouted at him?'

'He told me that he threatened you and that he told you he wasn't gay.'

He nodded. 'I don't know what happened. I just- exploded. Because he made me feel special then he...' he trailed off, looking away, a small sniffle coming from him.

'Hey,' I said, putting my arm around his shoulder. 'James is... very conflicted right now. He's gay, but he's very scared he wouldn't be accepted.'

He wiped away his tears and looked at me. 'What did you come for?'

My hand dropped as he suddenly changed the subject.

'Um... About the news report,' I said. 'I need you to do something for us.'

Kendall looked at me. He was a strong boy, emotionally, it seemed, but there was pain in his eyes that even he couldn't hide.

'Why should I do it?'

'Because you'll help clear your name from this shit, and you may get James in the process.'

He looked at me with hooded eyes. 'Do I want James?'

I smiled at him. 'I think you do.'

He considered it. 'What do you want me to do?'

...

*Kendall Knight PoV*

I had a brother. Wow. I didn't expect that. It came as a shock, but some small part of me, no matter how much I tried to deny it, felt that I could get back James.

Was this my chance? I don't know.

I didn't know how to feel that my brother was this famous guy from the band I loved so much.

I didn't know how to feel that my brother was the guy-who-broke-my-heart's best friend.

I didn't know how to feel at all.

Mad? Sad?

The only thing I felt was confused.

-Few hours later-

The girl stared in horror as Kendall Schmidt and the other guy smiled on the television, talking to a reporter, totally crushing her story to pulp.

She didn't know they'd get her back so good. She didn't even expect them to respond after such humiliation.

Ugh. She couldn't think of a way to beat their story, she just couldn't. Because the fact was that their story actually made sense.

And she had absolutely no proof besides the video. She had no proof that it was real, no proof that their conversation was strictly love-related.

She was losing this battle.

And she hated losing.

So did you guys like it? Please review :D And if you think you know what KK & KS told the reporters, tell me! I may give away some more cute and fluffy animals!

Woooo! Please, please review! I love you people so much it hurts!

ChelziXD