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"You're home early," Noodle exclaimed surprised.
2D shrugged and Murdoc didn't reply. He just growled and went straight to the fridge for a beer.
2D sat down on the couch, pouting heavily.
Noodle and Russel glanced at each other.
"So... what did you do?" Russel asked uncomfortably.
"Cinema," 2D answered shortly.
"Ah, did you go and see that new zombie film?" Noodle asked brightly.
2D nodded. Murdoc just muttered something incoherently and went up the stairs.
"Where he's going I don't know. His own room's still trashed," Noodle muttered.
2D didn't say anything, he just stared ahead of him. Russel and Noodle exchanged a nervous glance.
"2D.. is everything alright?" Noodle then asked quietly.
2D jerked up and gave a bright smile. "Yeah, Noods, I'm fine! I'm just going up now."
"Are you sure, D? It's still early," Russel said.
2D stood up, and stretched. "Yeah. I'm pretty tired. Night!" he said cheerfully, then went up the stairs.
As he ascended the stairs the smile slipped off his face. He walked slowly to his room. He opened the door carefully, hoping Murdoc wasn't there.
To his disappointment, Murdoc was sitting on the bed, staring at the beer bottle. He raised his head when he heard the door open. But 2D turned right back round again, shutting the door behind him.
He heard Murdoc call his name, but he ignored it, going to the balcony. The singer shut the door behind him and sat on the ground, leaning his head against the wall. He lit a cigarette and closed his eyes, inhaling the smoke.
2D felt horrible. His chest was heavy with hurt and disappointment. He wondered vaguely where he would sleep tonight. He knew he should just kick Murdoc out of his room, but he knew he would never be able to get himself to do it.
He just didn't understand why Murdoc wanted to be so secretive about them. He felt rejected, as if Murdoc didn't see him as someone he wanted to be serious with.
He felt a pang in his chest as he realized that what they were doing was exactly like Plastic Beach except with nicer words. On Murdoc's part, anyway. Well, it seemed that way.
He didn't want it to be that way. He wanted it to be a serious relationship without having to hide from everyone. He didn't want to be Murdoc's secret partner. 2D heard the door open, and jumped up, thinking it was Murdoc.
Instead, he was greeted by Russel and Noodle.
"What are you doing out here in the cold?" Noodle asked, wrapping her arms around herself.
2D shrugged. "Just smoking."
Noodle and Russel sat down on either side of him and he felt trapped.
"Is there anything you want to talk about, D?" Russel asked gently.
2D shook his head. "No, there's nothing. You guys are always worrying," he said with a little laugh.
"Because you always give us reasons to. Look, you can tell us anything, you do know that, right?" Noodle said solemnly.
2D nodded with a smile. "Yeah, thanks guys."
"So.. are you sure there's nothing you want to tell us?" Noodle then asked.
2D stared ahead of him for a while, and Noodle and Russel held their breath. Then 2D looked at them.
"Nope," he said.
They glanced at each other in disappointment.
"Alright, D," Russel said with a sigh, and he stood up.
"We'll just leave you, then," Noodle said quietly, and they left 2D alone to his thoughts.
In 2D's room, Murdoc was lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and chugging the beer. He really did have to go talk to 2D. Make him understand that he wasn't ashamed, he was – well, what was he? Why didn't he want to tell anyone?
Murdoc groaned and chugged the remaining drops of beer. He'd wait until 2D came back to his room, then talk to him. Yeah, that's what he'd do. He leaned back against the pillow, happy that he had made up his mind about something.
Except 2D didn't come back to his room. Murdoc waited the whole night, lying on the bed, counting the hours. Eventually he started hearing birds whistling, and he looked out of the window to see the sun coming up. Giving up and wanting to give his stressed mind some rest, he let his heavy eyelids droop.
"No family of mine will be a fag!" his father snarled, kicking the boy in the face.
Murdoc was hiding under the bed, trapped, watching how his cousin was being beaten to death.
"You disgusting little prick!" with those words his father punched the fourteen year old in the face, smashing his head back against the wall.
All Murdoc could do was cower under the bed, whimpering quietly.
The scene changed. Suddenly he was in his own room, and his brother was standing in front of him, looking down on him with a menacing glare.
"You'll keep your fucking mouth shut about James. The little faggot deserved it, going around snogging other boys. If I hear you breathe a word about it to anyone, the same'll happen to you," he snarled, giving Murdoc a punch on the nose for good measure.
Hannibal turned away, but paused suddenly. He walked toward Murdoc and pulled him up by his hair.
"And if I ever see you doing anything like that.. I'll fucking kill you," he hissed, then smashed Murdoc's head down on the floor.
He then stood up, spitting next to Murdoc, and left with a last disgusted glare. Murdoc slowly looked up, wiping his bleeding nose and trying to ignore the thumping ache in his head, shivering and shaking in fear.
2D quietly opened the door, and sighed when he saw Murdoc sprawled out on his bed. As 2D edged nearer, he noticed Murdoc was gripping the empty bottle of beer so hard it was about to break.
He came nearer to pry Murdoc's fingers off of the bottle, but what he saw stopped him abruptly. Murdoc's face was wet with tears, and they were still pouring from the corners of his eyes.
He was frowning and sometimes he gave a pained groan, and then he'd go completely silent again.
2D just stared with his jaw dropped.
"M-Murdoc?" he then whispered, touching the bassist's shoulder lightly. It was enough to wake him up though.
Murdoc jolted upward with a gasp, panting and trembling.
"Murdoc! It's alright!" 2D exclaimed, shocked, as Murdoc looked around him wildly.
The bassist stared at 2D for a while, still panting. 2D just stared back, too frightened and shocked to react.
Murdoc swallowed hard.
"We're never telling anyone about us. Ever," he whispered then.
2D stared at him. "Wha...what?" he choked out.
"No one is allowed to know. No one," Murdoc gasped hoarsely.
2D shook his head, not understanding. "Murdoc.. what are you.. why?"
Murdoc didn't reply, he just jumped out of bed and started pacing, running his hands through his hair.
"No one.. no one at all.." he muttered.
2D started to get angry. "Murdoc, I won't be your little secret! You can't treat me like this!"
Murdoc turned to 2D, his face furious. 2D flinched back.
"You don't know what you're talking about, you idiot! Just shut up and do what's best for both of us!" he snapped.
2D slumped down, shocked.
"What are you talking about?" he whispered, trying to keep his voice from breaking.
Murdoc snarled in frustration. "What are you not getting? We are never telling anyone anything! Is that simple enough for your stupid little brain?"
2D swallowed a sob. "Why are you acting like this?" he whispered.
"Acting like what? I'm acting completely fine, you're the one who's being stupid and annoying and dull and slow!"
2D cringed at every word.
"What is wrong with you?" he yelled, clutching at his hair, tears streaming down his face.
Murdoc snarled again, and suddenly 2D felt pain exploding in his nose. He felt himself crash down on the bed from the impact, and lay there for a moment, trying to process what had happened.
Then he sat up, putting a hand under his nose. His fingers were covered in blood. He slowly looked up at Murdoc, who was staring at him with a mixture of horror and anger. The bassist ran his hands through his hair again.
"Stuart.." he began quietly, but 2D ignored him.
The singer stood up and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He went to the bathroom, feeling numb. He locked the door behind him, and looked in the mirror. His face was covered in blood, and he grabbed some toilet paper and started wiping it away. He then gave his face a wash and stared at himself in the mirror.
He felt himself starting to shake and sobs were rising in his chest.
2D grabbed a towel and stuffed it in his mouth to muffle the sobs. He decided it wasn't enough, so he turned on the shower, stepping under the ice cold water with his pajamas still on.
His neck and back still hurt from when he had been sleeping on the balcony, but right now he couldn't care less.
He just hoped the cold water would numb his feelings.
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