DAY TWELVE IS A BOSS: PART TWO

Goyle closed his eyes just as I had a few minutes earlier- I guess we really are sort of alike. He took a quick breath- which was really more of a frightened gulp- and then it was out there. Words. A name.

My plan was already coming to me.

"I think Astoria Greengrass is kind of cute," Goyle told me, quietly. No one really heard him, except for those of us who had been leaning in close like total stalkers, i.e., Draco and me. And Crabbe, but only because he'd already been sitting there. His bored expression told us that he could care less about love. If I was religious, I'd pray that he find it... Love, that is.

Too bad I'm not. Arghh, why did that have to have a pun in it? ...I hate Draco for bringing that one up!

Blaise had been listening in, too, it seemed, from a distance. "Then why haven't you done anything about that yet?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know what to do," Goyle stated. "Should I?"

My mouth was bursting with words to be said, but just as I was about to explode, Blaise continued his little speech. As if knows anything about love! I'm the Cupid here, aren't I?

Well, I will be. Just as soon as I get a girlfriend. Or someone. Pansy.

"Goyle, if you're sick, shouldn't you go the doctor? No, if you're hungry- don't you eat? You like a girl... of course you should do something about it! Just run up to her and kiss her!" Blaise exclaimed. He reminded me of Dumbledore, just a little bit. Which wasn't creepy... at all.

"No, Blaise!" I shouted, straightening up and blocking Goyle from him with my arms. "He can't just do that! Goyle wants a romance!" And then, to my amazement- kind of- Draco stood next to me and said-

"He's right."

Even I was confused. "Huh?" was what came out of my mouth. Blaise raised an eyebrow, Crabbe rolled his eyes and bit into a cupcake. Only Goyle seemed to understand what Draco meant.

"Of course Goyle wants a romance," Draco went on, oblivious to us. "He wants picnics, sunsets, smiles across the room! Goyle wants a lovely lady, a damsel in distress!" He was getting kind of into it now.

"Who ever said she was in distress?" I muttered to myself. No one really paid attention, though. Draco was soaking it all up like... like a plant. A bad plant. A life-sucking plant. Something like that.

"Goyle wants to fall in love," Draco concluded, then eyed the guy carefully. "Unless you already have?"

"What the fuck is up with him today?" Blaise whispered in my ear, speaking of Draco.

"I have no idea," I answered. "But it's kind of annoying." Blaise nodded in assent, and I turned back to the scene unfolding before us.

"I don't know," Goyle was saying in reply to Draco's question.

"Not yet," Draco nodded. "Good, good..."

"What do I do?" Goyle asked us, his face burning, but his expression determined.

You know how a lift will ding just before it gets to the floor you're aiming to get to? A little ding, just like that, went off in my head. "I know just what we've got to-" I began to say, rather excitedly, actually. I had, yes, a brilliant plan. An amazing plan. A plan that was so awesome that- well, it was interrupted and rejected. By an asshole.

Of course it was Draco.

"Picture this," the jerk said, painting a picture before our very eyes. Metaphorically. "You're walking down a hallway, right after your last class of the day. The sun has begun to sink down, and you're headed to the great hall for dinner."

"Cool," Goyle agreed, his eyes all hypnotized and shit. Whatever.

"What are you getting to, anyway?" Blaise questioned. Draco swore at him, then continued on with his imaginary scenario.

"Theo, help me with this, will you? Pretend you're Astoria," he ordered me.

"What? I'm not gonna pretend to be a girl! Not here!" I nearly yelled at the idiot. Was he serious, I wondered?

Oh, yes. Yes, he was.

"You're right!" Draco exclaimed. "We need to act this out in the hallway! Come with me, comrades!" And, before we knew it, we were all being shepherded out the door, up several flights of stairs, and to Draco's dream-hallway. Blaise and I exchanged mutual concerns for Draco's mental health.

Okay, we were making fun of him. Same thing.

Sure enough, though, the sun was indeed beginning to set. It seemed as though romance really could happen here, somehow, in some form or another. It was oddly calming, but something weird was weighing me down at the bottom of my stomach. Contrary to that, something else in there was lifting me up a bit, as if I were walking on clouds. I walked faster, nearly as much as Draco was.

"Okay, this is it," Draco told us: Goyle, Blaise, Crabbe, me. I had no idea why Crabbe had even come... but he sure had brought a lot of food with him. "I'm Goyle. Theo, you're Astoria. Blaise, you're set?" Blaise nodded, and ignored the look of confusion that I cast towards him. I was about to be enlightened, though... unfortunately.

"Astoria, you look positively stunning tonight," Draco informed me, and I had to choke down the laughter rising up my throat. I couldn't respond with anything but a nod. "Don't ruin this," Draco hissed in my ear, then went back to smiling at me in adoration again. God, it was weird. How did Pansy deal with this all the time?

Oh, right, she didn't. Because Draco didn't truly love her... Not like I did. Not like how he was acting towards me now.

"Ditto," I replied, giving my false-lover a brilliant smile. He glared.

"Astoria-"

"Put your hands where I can see them!" Blaise suddenly yelled from behind us, holding something metal in his hands. He held it towards us with deadly aim.

"What the fuck is that?" I whispered to Draco, thoroughly confused and annoyed by now.

"It's a fucking gun, you moron. Now do as you're told or I'll do it for you!" Draco's expression smoothed over as he resumed acting. "Astoria, I'll save you!" he yelled bravely, leaping in front of me. "And then I shall capture your heart, as a prize!" He gave Blaise a good knocking- it looked real, but I wasn't completely sure- then took back the gun-thing and aimed it at our assumed criminal. "And don't come back again, you bastard!" Draco called to him, then kicked him. "Run away!"

"We got the point, Draco," Blaise said, amused. He gave me a really weird look, but just as I was about to ask him why the hell he was doing so, Draco took me and spun me around towards him.

"What the-" I began to say, but was quickly shocked into silence as the guy dipped me back so that his face hovered mere inches above mine. It was a horrific repeat of the incident outside Dumbledore's office the other day, but this time we were both quite awake.

"Astoria, you don't know how long I have longed for you, yearned for you," Draco whispered to me.

Just then, in a dramatic turn of events, a group of students came upon our little charade. Naturally, one of said students was Pansy. Another, Astoria. Add in more Slytherin girls, and you'll get the picture.

It was one of those moments where everyone goes: "Pansy?" "Goyle?" "Astoria?" "Draco?" Daphne?" "Crabbe?" "Theo?" and so on... and, as everyone unfroze, someone- someone that I will forever loathe, or something- knocked into Draco...

And then we kissed.

Okay, it wasn't really a real kiss. It was an awkward accident where our lips just happened to touch. I didn't even feel any disgust, or pleasure, even. Just pure surprise, and...

Anyway. Pansy looked even more flabbergasted than Draco and I. But when she asked him if there was something he wanted to tell her... we both laughed. Draco and I. Awkwardly, strangely, irritably, warily. All of those and more.

"Draco?" she asked, taking his hands curiously. Just then, the poor guy- I guess I can call him that since he had to go through the horror, too- totally collapsed onto her. After a moment of him not moving one bit, Pansy said, "He's fallen asleep!" Quietly, still rather shocked. And I was just standing there, wishing I could collapse, too. But I'm not nearly as good with drama as he is, so I just stood there like a tree, blinded.

"Do you need help with him?" I asked hesitantly, and for a second she looked as if she was going to turn me down. But then she softened, somehow, and said sure.

"I'll try not to drop him." I winked at her, and she rolled her eyes. She looked afraid. But no one was more afraid than I was, I knew. I know.

I didn't drop him until we'd gotten back to the dormitory. Home, sweet home... Well, not really. But, you know, it was an abode. So, whatever.

Goyle never did say anything after that. He just watched me with light eyes, and retired to cupcake-eating when I just collapsed onto my bed and let out a long breath.

Then I wrote. I never looked up again.

Just what is going on, I wonder?

Sincerely, Theo.