A/N: Satsu's back! Be prepared for Hidan-bashing my lovely readers, because whether or not I personally like Hidan, I'm not so sure Satsu shares my opinion of him after this chapter…

I'd also like to apologize for the delay in updating, I've been having a lot of personal issues, i.e. breakups, new people living in my house, illness and death in the family, etc.

Thanks for reviews goes to:

GlitterHunter

Korosuhito

La Baker

Lilgal22

ShikaKibaShinoGal

Jaime Snyder

ninja enchantress

Torch Phoenix

jinxed pixie

NightmareAngel365 (for both reviews)

tomato sauce

And thanks for all the favorites and alerts, you guys are the greatest!

Recap:

I sat by the tree, desperately trying to soothe the muscles in my neck as I stared warily at my captors, their backs toward me as they faced the fire. Seriously, re-adjusting injuries that would leave a normal person dead was uncomfortable. Not that I'm complaining about being abnormal, not at all.

I stood as quietly as I could, which wasn't very quiet at all as I had to catch myself multiple times on the rough bark of the tree and adjust my feet on top of crunchable leaves. But, all that trouble was worth it for the looks on their faces.

"N-nice try there, but –huff- I'm not going to die that ea-huff-sily." I panted as I smirked, hunched over and definitely looking grotesque with my head at an odd angle and the left-over scratches and bruises littering my limbs from my so called 'death' earlier.

"Now, Hidan, would you be a gentleman and find me a few painkillers?'

----X----

"I'm bored." I said listlessly, playing with a lock of my short white-blonde hair, comparing it to Hidan's old man hair.

"I don't care." Kakuzu returned from a little farther up the road.

"Remind me again why I'm being carried like a sack of potatoes? I'm not all that comfortable over here on Man-Skank's shoulder. It's rather bony, actually." I said, poking the shoulder in question. I receiver an irritated grunt from Hidan, and he bounced his shoulder, causing me to wince as said bony shoulder blade indented my stomach.

"I'm booooorrrrreeeeedddd….." I whined profusely, pounding my small fists into Hidan's back.

"Hello Bored, I'm Kakuzu." Kakuzu said with a smirk in his tone. That comment meant war. I looked around for proper ammunition.

What can I use to chuck at Sir I'm a Big Fat Jerk? I thought idly, staring at Hidan's kunai holster. Just then, a big rock was kicked up by Hidan sliding on the gravel down a small hill.

Perfect… I snatched the rock out of the air, preparing to throw at my nemesis. I waited patiently for the perfect opportunity, then bam, my rock made contact with the back of his skull, making a loud ka-thunk sound.

"What the hell?!?" Hidan bellowed as Kakuzu chucked a revenge rock at my butt with ninja-precise aim without even turning around to look. (I mean, he is a ninja after all…)

"Watch it you retard! You could have hit me in the eye dammit!" Hidan growled, his own stone at ready in his left hand. I giggled silently. I knew the Hi Bored, I'm Kakuzu comment meant war, but I didn't expect a civil war. I decided to keep my mouth shut and watch.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was the immortal cultist scared of a pebble?" He taunted, still walking ahead of Hidan and I. I laughed so hard tears formed in my eyes. I was unceremoniously dropped and as I rolled out of the way of Hidan's feet, I heard the thunk of a rock meeting Kakuzu's skull.

All went silent, except for Hidan's labored breathing. I was a tad wigged out that these two could act like super-powered two-year-olds and call themselves criminals, but at the same time amused. I knew as well, that now was high time for me to disappear.

All too soon, rocks a little bit bigger than pebbles where rocketing back and forth with killing intent in their flight. I discreetly slid under a bunch of bushes to my right, hiding underneath. Peeking out from behind a few large green leaves, I stared wide-eyed at the battle before me.

Kakuzu was clearly winning, but that didn't mean Hidan hadn't his fair share of good shots in. Beige spots of sandy soil and dust speckled the two missing nin, making it look like the two were having a dirt fight rather than a rock fight in all honesty.

Suddenly, both shinobi were at a standstill. All that could be heard on the gravel path was the sound of labored breathing and cloaks flapping in the breeze. Theatrical and suspense-building, no?

Jutsu enhanced rocks began to shoot in all directions as I finally decided to roll farther underneath the meager protection of the brush.

Alright, now's my only opportunity to escape. Here goes nothing! I thought as I formed the seals for instant teleportation. Just as my hands formed the final seal, a gloved hand slapped across my mouth and jerked my head backwards into a burly torso.

Uh-oh…

"What the hell do you think you're doing, wench? How old do you think we are, two? We weren't fucking born yesterday, you know!" Hidan yelled as soon as Kakuzu had tossed me into the rocky path between them. I sat up painfully, leaning heavily on my right arm.

"You could've fooled me…" I mumbled dejectedly as I tried (and failed) to stand back up. My legs and spine still weren't quite up to par yet apparently. Kakuzu grabbed me by the throat, again, and lifted me up so that I was level with his neon green eyes.

"What did you just say, brat?" Kakuzu whispered, his voice dripping with malice. He was probably just trying to be fierce after his kindergarten-esque battle royale with Hidan. Too bad for him that I was too pissed off, him thwarting my escape and all.

"Put me down you whiny little bastard! You're such a baby; I can't believe we are from the same generation! Seriously I… ah!" Kakuzu's hand tightened considerably and the look in his eyes made my insides turn to ice. That's when I realized what had just come out of my mouth.

Oh Kami, I didn't just say that… He's so going to kill me! He's sooo going to kill me! I thought as I landed on my butt and quickly shuffled backwards, only to run into Hidan's feet in the process. My eyes went wide with fear as he got closer. The tell-tale symptoms of a panic attack set in, including a racing pulse, buzzing in my ears, cold sweat and muscle spasms. At that moment, I was more afraid than any other thing I've experienced in my near century of life.

"What was that?" He asked, couching down to face me.

"And what is this?" He said, grabbing my wrist and pulling my sleeve back enough to reveal a tattoo in kanji on it. I looked down and shook my head, hoping he would get the message that I wasn't saying a word.

Next thing I knew, he injected some sort of knock-out meds into my thigh and I was in la-la land for a long time, which, now that I have the power of hindsight, was a lot more pleasant than I thought la-la-land could be at the time.