Being continued...?
"Theo, I'm not completely sure that this is going to work all that well," Goyle told me.
"Are you kidding?" I asked him. "This is going to work out absolutely perfectly!" And I knew this for a fact. Well, I did this afternoon. How was I supposed to know that Astoria wasn't into tuxedos? Besides, the kid looked adorable in it. As an afterthought, I'd tied a nice pink bow around his neck. He looked like such a present! How could any girl not go for that? I mean, I swear I saw Pansy eyeing him up when we left the common room.
Which, come to think of it, really was rather odd. Why wasn't she gazing upon my own beauty?
Dammit, I was too good, wasn't I? Why am I such a nice guy? I need to be more Slytherin.
Anyway. I reassured Goyle that he looked great, and then handed him the guitar and the bouquet of wildflowers. I shoved him in Astoria's general direction and ducked behind a plant, eager to observe the results of my brilliant plan.
But just as Goyle started strumming it up and heading towards the girl, Draco appeared next to me. I was so intent on watching Goyle that the brush of teddy bear fluff against my arm had as much effect on me as a rogue bludger would have had. "What the fuck is it?" I hissed. "I'm trying to watch this!" But Draco just rolled his eyes at me and stayed put, leaning against the stone wall of the hallway.
Me, I wasn't so comfortable. The stupid plant I'd been hiding behind had really pokey branches, and it was annoying the hell out of me. It figured, you know?
"Dumbledore was looking for you... and Pansy and I broke up," Draco informed me suddenly.
Everything just kind of turned upside-down right then. I forgot about Goyle and Astoria, and even Pansy, a little. My brain felt like a can of shaken-up soda, as if I'd been tossed about like a quaffle... and I think my vision went kind of fuzzy, too, if that wasn't enough. And the funny part was- is- that I was anything but happy.
"You broke up with her? You dumped her?" I exclaimed. I didn't even start off whispering for the sake of the two potential lovebirds on the other side of the damn plant- I just yelled my head off and my thoughts out like an idiot. "What the fuck?" I think I might have shoved Draco then, or something. I could sort of swear that I only just elbowed him a bit... but not really. Not really... at all. "I can't believe that you'd do that!" I cried. "Not even you, Draco! Why would you do that? She's such a nice girl, Pansy? WHY?" I repeated.
"But aren't you the one who liked her more, anyway?"
"That doesn't matter!" I exclaimed. "I don't want my Pansy-flower to be sad! That makes me sad, too!"
"Theo, are you seriously crying?" Draco asked, sounding rather shocked. I wasn't crying. I really wasn't. Really. "We just decided to break up, it's no big deal..."
"But it is a big deal!" That was about the moment when Pansy appeared, walking towards us. She looked... confused. I ran to her and basically hugged the guts out of her, awkwardly enough... but I really didn't want her to be unhappy. You know? "It's okay," I told her. "You're going to be happy again, I promise!"
"Theo, I'm perfectly fine. Are you okay?" she asked. Concerned for me!
"I don't want you to be sad!" I said, still clutching her to me. "I want you to be happy!"
"Theo, I'm fine! I'm fine!" Pansy said again, louder the second time. She stepped back, looking both concerned and confused. And maybe irritated.
Draco stood off to the side, quietly. Then no one was saying anything. They were just looking at me, and I was looking back and forth at them, and the others that had assembled without my knowing. Blaise and Goyle and Astoria and Crabbe... Not to mention, Pansy. Draco, the jerk. Why did he do that? Why? Pansy must have been dying inside as she walked toward us two minutes earlier!
She had probably been coming back to see if Draco still wanted her... and I had ruined it. Got in the middle of it. Why was I such an idiot? I kept trying to meddle with everyone else's lives... and I myself was in my own shit. Alone, dammit. No one else mattered, and I didn't matter to them, either.
So, basically... I suddenly, abruptly realized how much I really did feel like shit. So I did what any other hero would do in the situation:
I ran to Dumbledore's office, slammed the door behind me, and upon finding his office again empty, collapsed into his wonderful spinny chair and just sat there for a long while. Thinking. And then I got out my diary... this little book... and began to write. This.
Do I feel better now? Do I feel as if I've let all the pain out? Not in the slightest. I only see more proof that it's all real, on these pages in front of me. If I would stop writing for two seconds, I'd likely throw this damn thing so hard that its spine would split.
Shit, the door's opening...
-Theo.
To be continued, if Theo doesn't destroy his diary before he writes again...