Chapter 4 ~~ Thinking

As Zero rode around the vast grounds of Cross Academy he relished in the feel of the cool night air in his face; the wind causing his silvery hair to fly about in every direction. He loved this feeling: being free. He felt, normal. If only for a few brief moments he didn't feel like the monster he was becoming, obsessed with blood. It was the only time he really felt alive.

A good hour into his ride reality came crashing down, as it always did; instantly bringing down his mood. As if she could sense her rider's sudden shift in mood, White Lily slowed to a stop and turned back to peer at Zero. He leaned forward to pat her snout saying, "I'm alright Lily, just thinking. Let's speed back up, it hasn't even been two hours yet. "The horse snorted and continued to stare at Zero. "Come on, girl. There's a few sugar cubes in it for you," he tempted. Lily's ears pricked up at this and she began moving again at a slow trot.

Zero was soon lulled into a peaceful state by Lily's rhythmic plodding. He played the scene of his earlier outburst over and over in his mind in an attempt to understand his behavior. "Today was different somehow. I just don't know why…. So annoying. Lately he's been making me feel so strange just by looking at me; and those damn dreams aren't helping anything. And Hell, I could barely stay standing when he was talking to me today, my damn knees felt like jelly. And my frickin heart sped up to about a million miles an hour. He has some strange hold over me, and I don't understand a damn thing about it!" the annoyance in his mind reached its limits and he let out a loud roar of pure frustration.

His sudden vocalization frightened Lily. She reared up, throwing Zero off her back and onto the harsh ground. He hit the dirt, hard, and White Lily took off at break-neck speed deeper into the woods.

"OUCH! Son of a BITCH that Hurt!" Zero muttered a string of curses, rubbing his (definitely) bruised back. Looking up he saw that his mare was nowhere to be seen, "Dammit! It just keeps getting better and better doesn't it?"

He began looking for her, but it was too dark for even him to see any tracks she might have left. After stumbling around in the woods for hours and finding no sign of the white horse, he decided to give up to see if she had turned back to the stables.

Along the way back, Kaname popped into Zero's mind a few times. And by the time he reached the forest's edge he had come to realize a few things. "He actually isn't that bad of a person. He's never actually tried to hurt me, even when I tried to stab him the first time I met him. The worst he's ever done is insult me. I'm really to blame for that, though, I started that tradition. Also, whenever I try to start a fight he only blocks me and he never stops being top it off, he is really gentle, especially with Yuuki. He treats her like some kind of princess." His heart fluttered slightly as he imagined Kaname hugging him as sweetly as he did Yuuki. Zero's eyes widened, "he's a great guy. I see why all those girls love him so much…"

He shook himself as he finally reached the stables again. He walked inside and was surprised to see Lily clean and in her, closed and locked, stall. Curiously, he walked closer; noticing that she was wiped down, brushed and her mane and tail were de-tangled and glossy. He also noticed that her feeding bag was empty, so someone had fed her too. "I didn't see anyone outside… and they aren't here anymore," he thought. Just the faint scent of rose lingered in the air.

He walked into her stall and began rubbing the space above her nose. "I'm glad you're safe, Lil. You shouldn't run off like that. You had me worried." He looked around for his bag of sugar, noticing a piece of crisp cream-colored paper folded in half standing on Lily's equipment shelf. It was addressed to Zero and he picked it up, his curiosity getting to him. Fe flipped it open and read the message written in a neat, slightly slanted hand:

I found her grazing near our path on my way back to the dorms.

She was a mess, and since I did not know when you would return, I cleaned her up for you.

It took a fair bit of convincing on my part, as she seems to have inherited your hatred of vampires, Zero.

At any rate, Next time you should consider a saddle.

-Kaname Kuran

Zero stared at the note in disbelief. How Kaname known he was riding Lily? And how had he gotten her to allow him to get close to her? She hated the bloodsuckers more than he did… despite all the questions running through his head, Zero was touched that Kaname would go through all that trouble for Lily, for him. That moment Zero had an epiphany that changed his life forever.

"Lily, I – I think that… I think I love him." He blushed and the horse snuffled in his face, then gave him a look that said, "took you long enough." Zero smiled, finally understanding all of the strange feelings he had been having, all of the crazy reactions, and the incessant blushing.

"yea. Yea! I Love Him! But… there's no way he would feel the same way about me. I bet he only took care of Lily to look better in Yuuki's eyes, and make me the bad guy for yelling at him." His heart sank. Lily stepped closer to Zero and rested her head on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

"thanks, girl. I think I'll just stay here tonight. I'm way too tired to go all the way to Cross'. He lay down on a large heap of straw next to White Lily. He slept there the peacefully the rest of the night and most of the next day, missing school.

When he sis wake up it was to Yuuki, very loudly, reprimanding him for missing a day's worth of class. She also was trying to convince him to eat dinner with her tomorrow night. Half asleep, and more than a little annoyed, Zero agreed. Anything to make her leave him alone. Little did he know that he had just agreed to no ordinary dinner.