I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James.
A/N: Thank for the 100+ followers of this story and the amazing reviews. Many of you are against the contract and so am I, but Christian Grey thinks otherwise!
Ghosts and Demons
I'm patiently waiting for Dr. Klein in his very generic waiting room. The chairs are uncomfortable and they look as though they were purchased from an office supply catalog. There are only two framed posters of hideous art that proudly state they can be seen at some art museum in Cincinnati or some other midwest city that I've never visited. His poor receptionist is jailed behind a glass partition that she keeps closed as she doesn't want us nutcases to hear what goes on at her desk. This is my Tuesday evening after work. Every week. I like Dr. Klein and talking with him has helped, but I just don't like the stigma of how I'm so broken and I need a shrink to help fix me.
"Miss Steele", and Dr. Klein's voice disrupts me from my wayward thoughts. I stand up and greet him with a smile when I approach him at the doorway by the glass partition. He stands to the side and lets me walk past him. Dr. Klein, I think is in his late forties with thinning brown and gray hair. He has his standard striped button shirt and tan dress pants on with the usual brown shoes. He isn't much taller than me and could stand to lose some weight around his belly area.
"Good evening, Dr. Klein", I finally greet him as he closes the door and we are in a small, drab hallway and we talk towards his office.
Unlike the rest of the suite to his practice, his office cluttered with books, which I'm sure all about every method of psychology used for therapy. He has a small desk that faces a wall, also cluttered with folders, papers, and books and there is enough room for his mouse, monitor, and keyboard.
On the opposite side of his office is a chair that he sits in and a couch facing the chair. I always notice the full box of tissues on the small side table next to the couch where I take a seat.
"How was your week, Ana?", Dr. Klein starts right in. Where do I begin? That I'm having a hard time with Leila's death or that I want a man that comes with a contract? I'll start with the latter because that has been over-consuming my mind for the past forty-eight hours.
"Well, I think I like someone, very much but I'm not sure what to make of him", I state quietly.
Dr. Klein doesn't say anything, meaning he wants me to elaborate on my thoughts. I take a deep breath before I start. "He is the same man that had a relationship with Leila, the same one that I went to go meet a couple of weeks ago. He came to the art auction I hosted and incidentally purchased a few photographs of me that were on display. I then met him for a drink the following evening and actually had a nice evening just talking. I had dinner with him on Sunday and I actually saw him Saturday while at the marina with friends. That was just coincidence".
"So you are attracted to a man that had a relationship with your sister?"
"Yes, but he revealed something about himself and actually about Leila that has me a bit, shocked, lack for a better word". Shock is the state I have been in since Sunday night after I left Christian's. I haven't reach out to him and I haven't heard from him, which concerns me that maybe he is no longer interested in me since I didn't want to further discuss his contract. Actually, I needed the distance away from him. For some reason, I can't think straight around him and I'm not sure what I'll say to him once we have contact with each other.
"What did he reveal?", Dr. Klein quietly asks.
"He had a BDSM relationship with Leila and now wants one with me", I softly say while I look down at my hands twisting on my lap.
"I can see how that is shocking. What do you find shocking? That Leila was engaged in a relationship like that or that the same man wants the same with you?"
"Both actually. I think I'm more in shock that people want to have that kind of sexual relationship. It's just so foreign from what I ever thought sex should be about. I guess I've always equated love and sex and this just doesn't fit in that equation in my mind".
"What I know about BDSM relationships is only what I've studied, but I can tell you that as long as the partners involved consent to that type of sexual relationship, than there is nothing wrong about it. Are you considering having a BDSM relationship with this man?" Am I? I can't even agree to his rules so how can even consider that whole package?
"I don't know. I'm very much attracted to him, but he gave me a contract and I'm just very confused by it all. He wants me to abide by a set of rules and if I don't follow them, he will punish me".
"All I can tell you is that as long as it's consensual, there isn't anything wrong about being in a BDSM lifestyle. However, if you are confused about it and you're not sure if this is something you want to be involved in, don't. You don't want to put yourself into a situation where you would be uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable that he had this type of sexual relationship with Leila?"
"I think I'm just shocked that she was into this lifestyle and I just never knew about it. It makes me wonder what else she was into". I think back to some our conversations Leila and I had about Troy and David. She talk about how hot the sex was and going at it for hours, but she never mentioned spanking, being tied up, or anything else that would raise a red flag.
"Well, the BDSM lifestyle is considered taboo, so I'm sure that is why she didn't share it with you or probably no one else that isn't into the scene. At this point Anastasia, don't over think about what else Leila was involved in as she is no longer here. If something is revealed, then concern yourself with it. I think you are handling enough stress from your late sister's life".
"So I think I need to find myself a new place to live", I tell Dr. Klein. I want to move on from the subject to Leila's BDSM relationship with Christian. "It just seems that all of a sudden, I am having a hard time being in the apartment that we shared, where I'm still living. Everytime I wake up, I see her lifeless body hanging from the closet. I can't handle it anymore. Why now?"
"Ana, I don't know why now. How do you feel about Leila's death now?"
"I'm not sure Dr. Klein. I know that I'm still grieving, which I'm still sad that she isn't here. But now I feel like everything about that apartment, all her stuff that she left behind, I don't want it or want to have any memories of her death. I feel like I need to move on".
"Have you started feeling like before or after you started having feelings for this man that was involved with your sister?"
"Maybe about the same time. I'm not sure. All my friends and my Dad have suggested that I move, but I think that is mainly because I don't live in the safest neighborhood".
"You're probably feeling guilt for Leila's death and that's common for people to feel that way when grieving. Just know that it's not your fault that she took her own life and don't feel guilty for that. Are you sleeping at night?"
"Yes".
"For the next week, I want you start writing down your thoughts about how you are feeling about Leila. This will help us work on how to deal with your grieving".
"Okay".
"Okay Ana, until next week. Please take care of yourself and if you want to meet before next Tuesday, please call me anytime".
"Thank you Dr. Klein".
When I step into the waiting area, Ethan is there waiting for me.
"Ethan, what are you doing here?" I'm a bit shocked that he is in Dr. Klein's waiting room as I always just meet him where ever we decide to go after my appointment.
"Hey sweetheart, I thought I would meet you here since we are still having dinner, right? I hope you don't mind".
"No, not at all. Thank you, I'm just surprised and relieved that you are here. Shall we?", and he puts out his arm and I loop mine through his arm and we head out of Klein's office.
Ethan and I settle into a table at pub around the block from Dr. Klein's office. This is a place we've been to a few times as Ethan raves they have the best burgers in all of Seattle.
"You want the usual, sweetheart?" After that session with Klein, the usual sounds perfect.
"Yes, including the beer". I figure since I'm with Ethan, one beer out will be okay and I'll just make sure Ethan escorts me home. I could use a little relaxation after the few days that I've had.
When the waitress finally comes around, Ethan orders us two De Lux burgers, a side of fries, and two Pilsners to go with the burgers.
"How was your session with Klein?", Ethan asks after the waitress leaves with our order.
"It was okay. He wants me to start writing down my thoughts of Leila. He thinks it will help with the grieving and he thinks that I'm feeling some guilt about her death, which apparently is normal, but I shouldn't feel guilty about her suicide".
"Guilt is a normal reaction when you lose some close to you. And he's right, don't feel guilty about her suicide. I know you sometimes beat yourself up thinking that you could have prevented it, but you wouldn't have, sweetheart. She was the only person that really could have saved herself".
"I know, it's just hard not to feel guilty. I mean, I wish I could have saved her! I knew she wasn't right and had the potential to take her own life. I just never thought she would".
"Ana, don't blame yourself! Yes, she was sick and she was seeing someone about it, but we all thought she was getting better. Please sweetheart, don't beat yourself up about it".
"I need to move out of that apartment. Each day I wake up there, I can't stop thinking about her hanging from that closet. I actually slept on the couch last night. I also want to get rid of all her clothes. I don't want them anymore".
He takes my hand in his. "Then move in with Kate and I. At least until you find another place. You're torturing yourself by staying in that apartment and you shouldn't. At least if you live with us, you can save money until you find another place. You know you won't have to pay rent".
"Don't be absurd Ethan, of course I would have to pay rent! I can't have you and Kate support me!", I scoff at him.
"Why not? We love you Ana and we would do anything for you. Please, think about it", and he continues to hold my hand but is now rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.
I'm just as about to tell him that I'll think about when my phone rings. I glance at the screen before I pull it completely from my purse and it's Christian Grey. I take the phone out of my purse, but I hided screen so Ethan doesn't see who it is. "Excuse me Ethan", and I step away from the table towards the entrance of the pub.
"Hello?"
"Anastasia. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. Is this a good time? I know you had an appointment this evening".
"Um, no bother. I'm just out having dinner with a friend".
"Kate?"
"Um, no. Ethan".
Silence.
"I see. I don't share Miss Steele", and his voice was very cold.
"I also didn't sign your contract Mr. Grey, so I believe I can have dinner with my friend Ethan".
"Did you have a chance to read the rest of the contract?", and his voice is still cold and a bit clipped.
Yes, when I left his place on Sunday, he gave a large envelope that had the rest of the contact of my submission for me to read. I've actually read it about four times in the past two days and I just don't know if this is something I can do with him.
"I have".
"Do you have any questions? Do you want to discuss further", and his voice is a bit softer.
"Maybe".
"Maybe? You don't know?" He lets out an exasperated sigh. "Let's meet tomorrow night for dinner at my place, say around seven?"
"Why do I have to meet at you place again?"
"Would you rather I come to your place?" No, I don't want him to see the shit hole apartment I live in, but I think he should come to me oppose to me going to his place again.
"Yes, your turn to come to my place. If you're lucky, I'll cook you dinner and not my housekeeper".
"Very funny Miss Steele. Fine, I'll meet you at your place tomorrow night at seven. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Anastasia, but not too much".
"Good night, Christian". I hit the end button and make my way back to the table where Ethan has his eyes on me while he drinks his beer. Our burgers are on the table and he has been waiting for me because he hasn't touched his yet.
"You can start eating", I say to him as I sit down. "You didn't have to wait for me".
"They just came. I don't mind waiting for you. Everything okay?", and I know he is asking about my phone call.
"Oh yeah, everything is fine". Ethan eyes my suspiciously as I usually tell him everything, so he knows that I'm keeping a secret. I can't take he look any longer, so I tell him.
"That was Christian Grey".
His eyebrows shoot up while he eats a few fries. "Are you friends with him now?"
"I don't know. I mean, we've met up a few times recently, but I don't think we're dating".
"Do you like him, Ana?", he scoffs at me.
"He's nice and yes, he's attractive. I just don't if I'm his type".
"I think he's a pretentious fuck and that you should stay away from him", and he just bites into his burger while I just stare at him.
"What? Why do you say that?", as I cock my head to the side. It's dawning on me that Ethan could jealous of Christian, especially now that I've admitted that we've met up a few times after I told Ethan I didn't want anything more than a friendship from him. I want to hear his reasoning why I should stay away from Christian.
"Why is he chasing after you Ana? Just because he slept with you sister, he thinks he can try to sleep with you? Guys like him only want one thing and you're better than that. And I'm not saying that because of how I feel about you, but I just know that you deserve better than some guy trying to sleep with you".
"I'm not sleeping with him, Ethan! We've just met up a few times and just talked. Ethan, I understand your concern, but Christian Grey and I are just getting to know each other", and I give him a smile and he is still scowling at me. "So, I'll talk to Kate about moving in with you both and I'll give my landlord my notice tomorrow. I think the sooner I'm out of there, the better". After my last statement, he expression softens the topic of Christian Grey is off the table.
"Me too, Ana. I'm so happy that you're going to move in with us. And really, don't worry about the rent".
"Okay", and I bite into my burger.
After a long day at work dealing with Jack Hyde's attitude, I didn't have it in me to workout. So far my only highlight of the day was Kate's excitement that I'm moving in with her and Ethan. "It will be just like old times", she told me, but I wonder how much of that will be true. Then she completely gushed about Elliot Grey and they want Christian and I go to out with them on a double date Friday night. I'm not sure if Christian Grey would do a double date, but she told me after the way Christian was eyeing me Saturday on the boat, Elliot thinks Christian has it bad for me. I wanted to tell her that is because he wants me as a sex slave, but I couldn't.
Christian is going to be here any minute and damn stove is not working again, so we will have to do take out tonight. I'm also embarrassed that my apartment is a complete mess as I invited him over to discuss further his damn contract. I couldn't stop thinking it about last night and I couldn't sleep. So I spent half the night going through all the clothes scattered all over my apartment as I am going to donate all of Leila's clothes.
The buzzer goes indicating Christian's arrival and let him up. I open the front door to my apartment so he can walk right in as I start to move some of the mess in the living room into the bedroom since I'm not sleeping in there.
As I come out of the bedroom, Christian is standing just inside of the doorway. He looks good with a white, tight t-shirt and tight jeans. His hair is wet, probably from a fresh shower but it still has that just fucked look to it. He has a bottle sparkling water in his hand, which was very thoughtful of him.
"Good evening, Anastasia", he coolly says to me. There is twinkle in his gray eyes, which I interpreted that he is happy to see me, considering how I left on Sunday.
"Hey. Come in", and I wave towards the living room of my apartment. "I'm so sorry the place is a mess, but I'm sorting out my stuff before I pack".
"Pack? Where are you going?" and I can hear the nervousness in his voice.
"I'm moving in with Kate. I don't like living here anymore". I wasn't going to tell him it was because of Leila's ghosts that was having me high tail it out of here.
"Doesn't Ethan live with her?", and he raises an eyebrow at me with his lips in a hard line. Admitting that was the truth was going to be a problem, but he was going to have to deal with it.
"Yes".
I can see his chest and shoulders move as he exhales and then he runs both hands through his hair. "Can't you move into another apartment if you don't want to live here anymore? I know this isn't the best neighborhood, so I am assuming that is why you want to move?"
"That is one reason, but I can't afford another place on my salary", I huff as it's really not his concern where I live. I mean, I'm not his girlfriend and I'm certainly not going to be his submissive.
"I can help you", and I know where he is going with that statement, so I cut him off. I'm not going to take a hand out or be subsidized by Christian Grey.
"No, I can stay with them until I can get another place on my own, thank you. Can I get you a glass?", I point to the bottle of sparkling water that he's still holding.
"Please", and he hands me the bottle. "Make yourself comfortable", I tell as I walk towards the kitchen.
When I get back with our glasses, he approaches me and takes a glass from my hand and slowly sips the water. He then takes his glass and my glass and puts them on the coffee table.
"I haven't stopped thinking about you", he whispers in my ear while he puts both of his large hands on my waist. "Have you thought about me?"
"Yes", I whisper back to him.
His hands are tighter around my waist, which makes me closes my eyes. "Tell me, Anastasia? What did you think about?" He is still whispering, but much harsher, just like his grip.
"Um, Sunday night at your apartment and your contract".
I can hear his smile as low chuckle comes from his throat. "Hmm, yes my contract. And? What are your thoughts?"
He is still holding tight to my waist and that is all I can feel, is his grip on me. "I don't think I can abide by your contract". I finally open my eyes and he's moved so he is no longer against my skin, but looking into my eyes.
His expression goes from cold and serious to amusement with a smirk on his face. He loosens his grip around my waist but doesn't remove his hands. "No, I don't think you can either, but I really want you to try".
"Why?", I ask him softly.
"Because, I want to be with you Anastasia and I want you to give us a chance. I know that we will be amazing together", he says softly as his hands have made their way under my shirt and he is rubbing circles lightly against my stomach with his thumbs.
"Then just be with me". I lean in close to him and gently press my lips to his. He's hesitant, still keeping eye contact with me, but then I as his eyes close, his lips start to move against mine. But as our lips continue to move, the kiss becomes more urgent with all tongues and teeth. He moves his hands from my waist and grabs my wrists so now my hands are pinned my back.
He thrusts his hips into mine and I can feel his erection through our clothing. I gave him that erection and that thought suddenly turns me on. I want him just as much as he wants me and I've never wanted another man like this before. I want to throw my arms around his neck, but his grip on my wrists are so tight that I can't even struggle to loosen them from behind my back.
"I want you so much", he growls against my mouth while he thrusts his tongue into my mouth.
"Then take me", I challenge him. He stops kissing me slowly removing his lips from mine and I see how dark his gray eyes have become. He finally lets go of my wrists and I move them from behind my back.
"Take off your top, Anastasia", he commands. I hesitate because I just have a camisole on with no bra on underneath, so I would be showing him my bare breasts.
I would normally be embarrassed to show myself and not because I'm ashamed of my body, but I'm really a modest person. Without taking breaking the eye contract, I slide my hands down to the hem of my camisole and grip it. I slowly move the garment up over my torso and then over my head until I drop it on the floor next to us.
"Beautiful", he whispers. "Now, close your eyes", he commands.
I do as I'm told and now anticipate what his next move will be. Because I can't see him, my other senses are heightened and I have goosebumps because I can feel him so close to me. I hear him shuffle away from me, but I don't know what he is doing until I feel him behind me again. Then, he wraps silk fabric around my wrists. A scarf?
"Don't open your eyes or I will blindfold you too".
"I'm glad that you have your hair up already", and he starts to kiss the back of my neck while his hands move to my breasts. He starts to fondle them softly, like he getting the feel of them like their weight and size. Then his forefinger and thumb start to pinch both nipples as he kisses and nibbles on my ear. His touch from his hands and lips are electric on my skin and the goosebumps are tingling on my skin. It's becoming so pleasurable, that I start moaning.
"You like that Anastasia?"
"Yes", I moan.
"Good". He moves me closer to the couch so my knees hit it and he pushes me slightly so I am kneeling on the couch. "Bend forward", and he moves me so I am bending on the couch, my chin resting on the back.
"Keep your eyes closed", I hear him say and I can feel him walk away from me. Then I hear ice clanking and what sounds like him taking a sip from his glass of sparkling water.
"Refreshing", he says.
My eyes shoot open as I feel a cold ice cube being placed at the nape of neck he leaves it there for a beat. Then he slowly moves the cube down my spine until he gets to the curve of my lower back. I can't help but shiver as he moves the cube along my skin.
He removes the cube from my back and then places it at my lips. "Suck on this", he commands and I take the cube in my mouth and start sucking it. Then I feel his tongue on my lower back and he slowly licks his way up my back up to the neck, in the same path as the ice cube. Again, I shiver to the feel of his tongue on sensitized skin.
"You taste delicious, Anastasia. God, I want to fuck you badly", he whispers. "Can I? Will you let me fuck you?", and he hands are back on my breasts again, pinching my nipples like he did earlier. I still have the ice cube in my mouth, so I nod because I want him as bad as he wants me.
"Is that a yes?", he asks while he unbuttons my shorts.
"Yes", I manage to speak with the melting cube in my mouth.
He moves both my shorts and panties down my legs while his thumb and fingertips stay on my skin and the foreplay is making me wet at this point. After he takes them off my legs, his fingers go right between my legs.
"Fuck, you're so wet", he hisses through his teeth. "And you're so fucking beautiful like this. Naked, with your ass in the air and your hands tied behind your back".
He words sends chills through my body and makes more wet, if that is even possible. All at once, I hear him unzip his pants and the opening of a package at the same time. He leans in really close so I feel his hard body on my back while he parts my legs further apart. He's teasing my wet folds with the head of his cock.
"Just for me", he growls in my ear. "You're so wet just for me". He tightens his grip on my waist as the head of his hard cock is just inside of me. And then, slam! I gasp as I feel like the wind had been knocked out of me and I feel so full. My god, how big his he?
"Christ, you're so fucking tight", he says through gritted teeth. He pulls out again and then slams back into me. He continues his assault on my body and I've been felt anything so deep inside of me. As he keeps up his pace, his fingers make there way to my clit and he starts rubbing it. Just the slight pressure is building my orgasm and I start moaning against the couch.
"That's right, feel it. Feel all of me and what I'm giving you", he pants behind me.
My moans are getting louder and I'm making sounds I've never made before. This is an orgasm, one that I've never had before. One that started in the depths of my belly and is making its way from the goosebumps on the back of my neck to the curling of my toes. My insides are clenching his fast moving cock that I don't want to let go.
"Come on Anastasia, give it to me baby", he grunts. And so I give it to him and I have the most glorious orgasm. As I come down, he thrusts once and then twice before he grunts and comes inside of me. When he is finally done, he collapses on top of me, so we are both lying on the couch.
He stays inside of me while we are both coming down from our orgasms and our breathing slows down, but now I'm warm and sweaty and I want my hands untied.
"Can I open my eyes now?" I finally asks.
He chuckles behind me. "Yes, you may", and he pulls out of me.
"Can you also untie me?", I ask while I try to sit upright and he is pulling off the condom and tying the end of it. He puts it in his pocket and tucks self in.
After he unties my hands, I find my shorts and camisole and put them on. He kneels in front of me and grabs my hands and entwines are fingers.
"You were incredible. We were incredible. Please Anastasia, please think about my contract because I don't think I can stay away from you now".
I shake my head because we were incredible, but I still don't want to sign his contract. "Christian", I whisper. "I don't know. I mean, that was amazing, but I can't".
He stares at me and then squeezes my hands but doesn't let go. "This weekend", he says. "Give me this weekend. You don't have sign it but spend the weekend with me and let me show how good it will be, like a trial period. We'll go out with Kate and Elliot Friday night and then come home with me".
A whole weekend with Christian Grey? I don't know what to say.