Chapter 13: Broken Masks and Scarred Faces

Maya's POV:

Chase and I were making our way to a famous little crêperie for some more recipes when we heard this loud commotion coming from a few blocks down. People were speaking all kinds of French, and I couldn't understand any of it. But by the way Chase's eyes were bulging, and the way he suddenly grabbed my hand and started running, I knew it couldn't be good.

We ran through the little streets, past people crying, past more little shops. And then came the sirens. Loud, screeching sirens that could only mean one thing: someone was dying. Our pace quickened and Chase wouldn't look me in the eye until we finally got to the scene.

But his amethyst eyes didn't reach mine. My eyes were only locked on the bloody mess before me, and the high ponytail of the girl that I'd only just met cradling a little kid.

I felt faint. I fell back into Chase's arm and he held me up.

"What happened?" I ask no one in particular.

"The bus there lost control and slammed head first into the bus doors. The little girl got caught in the doors and the bus ended up ramming into the street pole and toppling over. I don't know about that girl though," someone says.

"That girl? It can't be…you don't think it's…" I say, looking at Chase.

"Jill."

Claire's POV:

"Oh my God WHAT HAPPENED?!" I scream at Kai.

"If I knew I'd tell you!" he says.

"You guys!" I hear a girl yell, running toward us.

It's Maya, the girl who almost burned down the school last year, and Chase? I never thought I'd see them together, the two hated each other.

"Maya, Chase!" Kai says.

"That's not…?"

"Jill Suzumiya, and Skye," I say. "They're going to the hospital. We're following them. Come on!"

Kai's POV:

Claire had known Skye for as long as I had. They'd been friends, bonding by the fact that they both had secrets they didn't want to keep. I was friends with Skye because initially, he seemed interesting, he seemed like he didn't want anyone around. He was a challenge. It didn't hurt that all the girls were in love with him, and by default, they wanted to get to know me too. But I'd never seen him the way he looked in that ambulance. I'd seen him annoyed, angry, but not this. I'd never seen him genuinely concerned with another person's life.

"Do you think he likes her or something?" I ask Claire as we find our way to the nearest hospital.

"No," Claire says. "One girl he just met isn't going to change all of Skye. My guess is she reminds him of something, and that something is one thing he'd been trying to forget for a while. Yet, the reason why he isn't shying away from her astounds me. He doesn't know if she's rich or not, so what could he be using her for now?"

"He isn't just using her Claire. He's…doing something, but not using her. He wouldn't be so concerned if he was using her, he'd be looking for another method."

"Then what do you suppose he was doing with Lumina?"

"He must be scared," I insist. "Of losing her perhaps? It would make sense. If she reminds him of something that he'd lost, losing it again would be even more upsetting than the first time. What do you suppose Jill is thinking?"

Claire's face is filled with determination. "She likes him. But she's stronger now. She can accept that she likes him; she knows that she's much more fragile. You said that they left campus together? Then how did he end up in a restaurant with Lumina while she gets into a bus accident? It doesn't add up right now."

"She'll make it won't she?" I ask suddenly.

Claire stops her face drained and somewhat still. "Jill Suzumiya, that's the girl you like isn't it?"

I freeze. Can I come out now? Can I tell her the truth after all that happened between us? "I-"

"You don't need to answer," Claire cuts in, walking forward again. "It's not important right now."

I wanted to tell her then. I saw her face and I knew that she was hurt. I wanted to tell her that it was her that I liked; I wanted to tell her that Jill was just someone I'd met. But the words didn't come out. My mind was frozen in this state of confusion. Did this mean she was jealous? Or was this was only making her hate me more?

Maya and Chase followed behind us. I took the time to talk to Chase.

"Hey," I say.

Noticing my attention on him, he took one big step forward and left Maya behind, falling in line with me. Maya ran up to talk to Claire. I sighed.

"Hi," he says. "Kai right?"

"Yea," I say. "Crazy things are happening aren't they? You never really think anything like this actually happens to you."

Chase nods. "That's the funny thing about life I guess. You never truly know what's going to happen to you. You can't prepare for life you know?"

"But then they happen, and you start to remember how many people were trying to help you prevent it," I say. "And then you feel ungrateful, or foolish."

"There's nothing you can do to change those things but people blame themselves anyway. I think it's easier that way. It's easier to put the blame on someone, something, than to admit you had no power over it anyway."

We hurry and run to the hospital and see Skye waiting in a chair with his head in his hands. Claire stands in front of him and pulls him up by the collar.

"What were you thinking?!" she demands.

"What?" he asks harshly.

"You just let her go?! You two were together, what happened?!"

"She left; she disappeared while I was catching up with friends!"

"Well here's a tip moron, you don't start hitting on girls while you're going on a trip with them! That's so rude and you should've known better! Maybe we all wouldn't be waiting in a damn hospital if you'd just learnt to keep your ego in check!"

Skye shakes her out of his grasp and stands up, walking away.

"Where are you going?!" Claire demands.

"Home," he says calmly, all traces of emotion lost. "If I was the one who caused her all this pain, then maybe I shouldn't be around her."

"You can't just run away!" she states.

"I'm not," he says. "But she'll never accept an 'apology' from me, and I'll never give one to her. So it's best if I just stay away from her."

"That's not going to-"

"Leave it," Chase says. "The coward has made his decision."

Skye doesn't say anything. He walks past all of us and slinks back into the rain.

"That's not fair!" Claire says suddenly, shaking with anger.

"Why should he be able to walk around all fine, while she has to go on hurting?!" she says, kicking the open air. Then, she slaps a hand over her mouth and stares wide-eyed at me.

"She likes him. But she's stronger now. She can accept that she likes him, she knows that she's much more fragile..."

Claire…

The doctor comes out of the room and tells us we're okay to come in.

Claire steps in last.

Jill is attached to so many different machines it's scary.

"She's sleeping," the doctor explains. "She took a blow to the head, broke her left arm, and injured her left leg. The leg will heal well; she just needs the splinter for a couple days. The arm…that'll take 2 weeks. The head could affect anything; we just have to wait until she wakes up."

I nod. What was going to happen now? Would we all stay?

"What do we do now?" Maya asks, voicing my thoughts.

"What can we do?" Chase asks. "She'll be awake soon, and she'll want someone there when she wakes up. But we all have to go sooner or later. We'll take it in shifts. We've got 8 hours until curfew. So Maya and I will take the first 4 and you and Claire can take the rest. I hope she doesn't stay asleep for too long though."

I nod. Claire is silent.

We leave the hospital and make our way back to the dorms.

"We might as well do something for the next 4 hours, it doesn't make sense to go all the way back and forth," I say.

Claire nods.

"Uhm, do you want to eat something?"

"Sure," she responds.

We walk together, side by side, sifting through the crowds and end up at this little corner restaurant I'd never been to. I order a burger and some fries, while Claire gets a salad.

"I didn't know you were a salad girl," I say, laughing a little.

She shrugs. "People change."

She wasn't talking about the food.

Claire had become cold. She wouldn't look at me; she shoved salad in her mouth to keep from having an awkward silence. She didn't want to be here, with me. She didn't want to be reminded of what would never be repeated. And I understood that.

I understand what it's like to not want to wake up the next morning, when the thing that had been keeping you down for so long suddenly appears. But who cares? You do get up; you go out and try to do things. And sometimes, it's hard. Sometimes, getting up and stretching is hard.

But the thing is, once you get up, there's no going back. The day you had the will to live as a baby, was the day that you decided it was your time. You can't stop the time flow just because things get hard. How are you supposed to move forward by doing that? And sometimes, moving forward didn't mean forgetting that your problem ever existed, sometimes it meant forgiving yourself, giving things another chance. Sometimes, all moving forward meant was letting go of what had happened, and grasping what you had right in front of you.

I didn't want to let go of Claire.

I didn't want to forget the way she'd made me feel, or the way she could light up a room.

"I'm sorry."

Her eyes flicked up at mine for a moment, settling into them for the first time.

"I'm sorry that I ever hurt you, or that things couldn't work out back at the Valley. I'm sorry that things aren't the best now, and that you try and avoid me most of the time. I'm sorry that I was never a good boyfriend, or that I can't speak French as well as you. I'm sorry that I'm here, trying now, to get you to forgive me. I just…I won't live with the regret that I met you. I can't. I know that I met you for a reason, and…I'm happy to look for it."

"Kai," she begins. She sighs and shakes her head. "I…I don't know what you want from me."

Silence.

"Do you want me to forgive you? Then I do. But I still don't understand what we're supposed to be doing."

"I…"

"See, you don't know either. The fact of the matter is fate or not, we weren't made to be together. And, I'm okay with that. I've moved on okay?"

I get up, unable to look at her. "Right."

"Kai, wait," she says.

I throw some money on the table and take a deep breath.

"It's fine Claire, that's all I wanted anyway. I'll see you in 4 hours okay?"

"Wait, so you're just leaving?"

"Yea, I've got some things to do."

"But-"

"I'll see you okay?" I say, bolting away.

It was no use.

I'd put myself on the line and gotten blown away in the wind.

There was no future for Claire and me, no matter what I wanted.

And that, that wouldn't change for all the hopes and dreams in the world.