A/N - Okay so I don't own Emotions, she is owned by Emotions. I also don't own Duck, she is owned by JustDuck, Pixie is owned by MushSpotgoil, Bookworm is owned by Dimonah Tralon (I think...err...), The Bishops are owned by Elyse, and Angel is owned by xxWickedWench, and Bells is owned by Raeghan. Again, if you end up reading this and don't want your character used let me know and I'll rewrite. Thanks! Please review! - A/N

PS - I wrote this to Robbie Williams' 'Feel', and Mumford and Sons "White Blank Page", ...Not sure why but I did.

PPS - I used an idea given to me by MushSpotgoil. Thanks again!

I glared at Spot as he stood there looking imperiously at me. He was angry, that much I could tell. I noticed a girl a little shorter than Spot standing off to the side, her head cocked. She had black hair and green eyes and was dressed like a boy. I caught her glancing at Spot, and I pursed my lips.

"Who the hell are you?" I snapped. The girl gave me a brief smile that didn't reach her eyes and crossed her arms. Spot glanced over at her and then looked back to me.

"Don't change the subject."

"No! I want to know who that is and why she feels the need to stand here and listen to us."

"My name is Pixie, that good enough for ya?" We glared at each other and I knew suddenly that the two of us would definitely not be friends.

Spot watched us, no expression on his face. Then he pointed at Pixie with his cane and stuck it into his belt loop afterwards.

"Go inside," he said to her. Pixie protested, but Spot shot her a look and she hastily complied. I watched her walk in and felt a bad feeling settle into my stomach. Something was going to happen with that girl, I could just tell.

I finally looked at Spot, and saw him watching me, his eyes glacial. I immediately went on the defensive and crossed my arms, shutting him out with my body language.

"You disobeyed me. Again. On purpose this time."

"Not on purpose, I just..."

"Riot I swear to God, this has to stop. I can't take it anymore."

"So what then? You think I do things to piss you off, but that's not true!"

"I gave you a second chance, and you blew it!"

"So what? Are we done?"

Spot didn't say anything for a few minutes, just glared at me. I felt my stomach twist and churn. I put my hand on my belly and Spot's eyes followed the motion. Then he sighed, long and loud.

"Yeah."

I started and wrapped my arms around myself, tears pricking my eyes. I looked at Spot through a film of moisture and sniffed, furiously trying not to cry in front of him. Biting my lip I turned and went to go inside.

"For now. I need time to think. Just give me a few days." I glanced over my shoulder and nodded, then ran the hell away. I heard him swear as I rushed into the lodging house, and ran upstairs. Grabbing clothes from his room, I went into the girl's room and dropped onto a bed. Emotion's head popped up from where she was reading a dime novel on her bed. When she saw my shoulder's shaking she leapt up and threw her arms around me.

"What happened?" I shook my head and burst into tears, shoving my face into her shoulder. Emotions held me and whispered soothing words. I just held onto her and cried. At one point I looked up over her shoulder, mid-sob, and saw Spot standing in the doorway, a sick expression on his face. Leaping up I slammed the door in his face and turned to Emotions.

"Please give me a cigarette." Emotions complied, the dangers of smoking not yet known by most people. I lit it and inhaled greedily, feeling a pang of guilt, knowing that I shouldn't be smoking while I was pregnant. Emotions sat and watched me quietly, waiting.

"Spot broke it off with me. He says it's only for a few days but I don't believe him. Plus there's this new girl hanging around him...I just don't know what to think." Emotions' eyes grew guarded and she made a face.

"Yeah, that Pixie girl. I don't know how I feel about her. D'you want me to kick her ass?" I laughed as I wiped off my face and shook my head.

"No, no, you don't have to. We'll work it out...Maybe." I exhaled smoke and felt tears kick up again. Angrily, I sat down on my bed and smoked in silence, Emotions just sitting with me. The boy's room was loud with noise. It was Friday night, there was bound to be a poker game, with maybe newsies from other places showing up.

I had no desire to join any of them, but the door flew open and girls poured in. Duck and Bookworm came over when they saw how distressed I was, and we had a little therapy session going on on my bed.

People came and went, Racetrack showed up and stole Emotions away, and she was replaced by Kate 'Beauty' Bishop. Her brother John 'Fish' Bishop stuck his head in and said 'hello', his brown eyes happy. He had a fresh bruise on his chin, he sometimes boxed for money to help support himself and his two sisters. Other times he worked down on the docks, bringing fish back for dinner, which earned him his nickname. Kate was to put it bluntly, a prostitute. She had spent time working in a factory, where she lost her pinky and ring fingers. After that she turned to street walking. She had a scar on her chin where she had been cut by a john. Their youngest sister Hanna was working in a factory. She didn't come to the lodging house that much. They all had brown hair and brown eyes.

Kate wanted to go confront Spot, and I had to plead with her not to. I was a little overwhelmed, especially when Angel, a pickpocket from Manhattan came in and sat down on my crowded bed.

She had her cap on, and black curly hair escaped from it. She had eyes the color of green apples and a spray of freckles across her nose.

Angel was unusually subdued as I filled her in on what was going on. She gave me a sad smile and told me she hoped everything worked out. I nodded at her and smiled briefly back. Bells, a Brooklyn newsie came in to show me a new kitten she had snuck in. She bent over to show me the kitten tucked in her front pocket, her messy auburn hair swirling around her shoulders. The bell she wore around her neck made a slight musical sound when she shifted her weight.

The door slammed open and two boys poked their heads in. Rooster saw Angel and gave her a slow smirk, one that Angel returned. It actually made me smile, and she got up to go to him. The other boy came into the room and hooked an arm around Bells' neck. His name was Grim, and he was a Bronx newsie.

He gave me an unreadable look as he stood there, his green eyes gentle when they looked at me. I think he could tell that I was hurting. He watched Bells and I as we cooed over the kitten, occasionally clearing his throat. He had a scar around his neck from where his father had tried to kill him, and shaggy black hair. A long time ago I almost ended up with him, but I was glad he was with Bells now.

"You have to come into the other room. You can't hide out here all night." I looked up at him and shook my head stubbornly. I didn't feel like joining the other kids, I wanted to sulk plain and simple. Grim pursed his lips but then shrugged and dragged Bells off into the other room. Soon most everyone departed, and I lay on my cot thinking.

I had hoped Spot was doing the same, but I was surprised to hear his laughter coming from the other room. Frowning, I got up and flipped my cap onto my head. Going out into the hallway, I glanced over and froze.

Spot was talking to Pixie outside the boy's room, leaning down to hear something she said. I felt sick when he laughed and nudged her as they joked around. Then he caught sight of me, and his face dropped.

"Riot, it's not..."

"Fuck...OFF!" I spat out as I went in the opposite direction. Heading downstairs, I heard him call out my name again, but I didn't stop walking. I couldn't believe him! Where had this girl come from? She obviously had her sights set on Spot, and since we were on a break or done then...I sat down hard on the front stoop, lighting another cigarette that Emotions had given me. Really I was going to stop, but not tonight.

Watching people walk by, I just sat and smoked, my thoughts awhirl. A group of kids came out of the lodging house, and trooped past me. Spot paused on the step I was sitting on and cleared his throat. I looked up at him, keeping my face wiped of emotion.

"We're going to the Green Mermaid."

"Have fun."

"Yeah...Listen..."

"Spot, just go. I'm fine." Spot gave me a frustrated look and then jammed his hands into his pockets and nodded. He went down the steps and joined the group of kids. I noticed Pixie sidle up to him and felt my guts clench. Emotions shot them a glower, then looked at me and put a finger alongside her nose. I knew she would watch Spot for me and report back.

Tears spilled as they walked off down the street. Really what good was I that all I could do was sit there and cry. Angry with myself, I went inside and began cleaning the kitchen. Furious, I scrubbed the SHIT out of the floor, muttering angrily to myself the whole time. When I was finally done with the floor, and wiping the table and scrubbing a few pots, I sat at the table and moped.

A few of the younger boys poked their heads in and smiled mischievously at me before ducking out. I shook my head, not wanting to know what they were up to. Hearing a commotion, I left the kitchen and walked out into the lobby.

Spot came through the front door, carrying Pixie, who huddled in his arms crying. I watched open-mouthed, as he brushed past me, his eyes meeting mine for a brief instant. They were full of anger and guilt. I saw that Pixie's shirt front was ripped, and guessed what had happened. Someone had attacked her. The rest of the kids who had gone spilled in, their voices hushed but buzzing.

Emotions grabbed my hand and led me outside. Duck and Bookworm followed, worry plain on their faces. Once we were outside, I yanked Emotions to a stop and put my hands onto her arms.

"WHAT is going ON?"

"Some man tried to force himself onto Pixie and Spot caught him. He thrashed the guy good, and then brought her straight back here." I felt fear trickle it's icy fingers down my back. Spot couldn't resist a damsel in distress. He would feel obligated to protect her and try to soothe her from what happened. That's just how he was. He hadn't wanted girls in the lodging house for this exact reason, but he had folded and allowed them in. He felt responsible for them and would take this as a huge affront to him and his flock.

I turned to go inside, feeling numb. I knew how Spot's brain worked. He was predictable. Sure enough when we went inside, he was waiting, his face full of impatience. He directed us girls to go help Pixie get settled, figuring she would want to be around females right now.

I didn't say a word, just followed the rest of the girls I was with up the stairs and filed into Spot's room. Pixie was curled up into a ball on Spot's bed. I watched impassively as Duck and Bookworm sat down and stroked her hair.

I knew what it was like to have that happen to you, since Swagger had attacked me awhile back in Green Point. Spot had saved me then, and although it was an awful thing it had brought us closer together. Pixie was shaking and I knew I should feel bad, but all I could feel was nothing.

Leaving the room, I headed to the kitchen to get some hot water and a washrag. She would no doubt want to clean herself. When I got upstairs, Spot met me on the staircase. I went to go around him, and he stopped me.

"Riot we need to talk..."

"About what Spot?" I made my voice apathetic because worry pierced me to the core. Spot took the bowl of water away from me and set it down on the stairs before taking my hand and leading me down the stairs, through the lobby and outside.

It was a pleasant evening, the air wasn't too chilly. I wrapped my arms around myself and hugged tightly. I didn't want to hear what Spot had to say, I was determined that it wasn't going to be anything good.

"Riot, you know I love you."

"Do I?"

"Well if you don't there's something wrong with you," he shot back. I sneered and held my arms out.

"Great so now you're telling me I'm crazy. Way to go Conlon, is this what you wanted to bring me out here to tell me?" Spot took off his cap and ran a hand through his hair, almost stomping a foot in his obvious frustration.

"Damnit Riot, just be quiet for a second!" I closed my mouth and stared at him. He often spoke in anger, but when it was directed at me it tended to get intense fast and I was unsure of his mood right now. Shifting on my feet, I looked at a spot past his shoulder.

"Riot. I love you. Pixie is a girl I knew from when I was a little scrapper, she's a good friend, almost a sister and that's it. You have nothing to be threatened by." Spot's face and eyes were so earnest I almost gave in.

"So that's why she just all of a sudden shows up and you tell me you need a break?" Spot went to speak but I held up my hand and looked at him, shame all over my face.

"Listen I know what I did was wrong, I worried you unnecessarily and for that I apologize. But for you to break up with me because of it? I'm sorry but I suppose we both have some things to think about here. I can't have you leaving me every time I do something stupid, and well...I have to stop being stupid I guess."

"Riot..." Spot's voice was gentler than I heard it in days. He took a step forward, and when I didn't back away, took another until he was standing right in front of me. Taking my chin in his hand he tilted my face back and kissed me.

"This break is only temporary. I love you and the only reason I'm doing this is to reevaluate our situation. I don't know if it's because I'm too strict with you that you don't listen to me, but everything I ask of you is for your safety. Especially now that...Well. You'll find out about that soon enough."

I just stood there, letting his words sink in and was reminded of a Mumford and Sons lyrics;

"You did not think when you sent me to the brink,

But tell me now where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart."

My heart wanted to pound out of my chest as I watched him walk away, his normal swagger subdued. Fresh tears came unbidden as I thought about my options. I didn't have that much money, where could I go? Why did this Pixie girl choose to show up now when we were having problems? What did Spot mean by worrying about my safety and that I would soon find out why?

These were all things I would find out come Hell or high water, but right now I needed to make a huge decision. Should I stay in the lodging house or not?

SHOUT OUTS

MushSpotgoil - I used your character! I hope you don't mind but I'm going to make her a bad person for awhile. I liked your little plot idea so I used that as well. Thank you! I hope you continue to read, at least I'll have one reviewer! *laughs*