Kate watched him from the corner of her eye during the ride back to the hospital. She could see his confusion and she assumed he felt scared and guilty about kissing her. She understood. Her feelings for him scared her too. She didn't want a relationship to complicate her life, but she also wasn't expecting to meet someone like him. They got along so well as friends. He continually surprised her. He respected her opinions and seemed genuinely interested in both her and Mackenzie. He even allowed himself to relax and have fun with her. And that kiss! She had expected a shy, little peck of a kiss, not that passionate assault on her senses. She felt her cheeks flush just thinking about it.
However, he had immediately withdrawn, hardly saying two words as they exited the park. She had been right, they should have just left it at 'friends'. She mentally kicked herself for getting carried away. If she worked it right, maybe she could at least salvage that.
Rick was confused, but not over his own feelings. He was worried about her reaction to his advances. He had felt her give in and kiss him with a passion he'd hoped for, but he had also felt her start to pull back. Strangely, her fear of a relationship actually made him more confident of his decision to include her in his life.
He just needed to slow down and earn her trust. He grudgingly admitted to himself that he needed some more time to get used to the idea of loving someone other than Kyra. But his family needed Kate and he suspected that she needed his family as well. He could provide the type of stability that she'd always wanted. And he desperately wanted to be what she wanted. Perhaps a friendly working relationship is just what they both needed. What better way to get to know someone than to live together? If he could just control himself.
They arrived at the hospital and climbed out of the taxi. Rick asked the driver to wait and walked Kate to the door. Kate decided to try one more time to salvage their friendship. "Would you like to come up for some coffee, maybe talk a while?"
Rick met her gaze debating internally. He didn't know if he could keep his hands off her tonight, so he stuck to his resolve to move slowly with her and excused himself. "I'd love to, but I should get back. I don't know how long my mother will last with Aiden."
Kate tried to hide her disappointment. She thought that their kiss had him so rattled that their deal was off and she'd never see him again. "I had a wonderful evening, thank you." Kate stepped in close and kissed him gently on the cheek. She continued in a reassuring tone, "I understand, you know. Your love and devotion to her, it's one of the reasons I value our friendship."
She stepped back and gave him one of her brilliant smiles. "I'm sure you've noticed how much I talk, but I can also listen. If you ever need to talk about her, I'm here." She turned to leave, but Rick caught her wrist and pulled her back into a tight embrace. He buried his face in her hair. "Thank you, Kate, for everything."
He knew she misunderstood his silence and hesitations, but had left the door open for friendship. At least she didn't ask him to stay away. God, I'm already in love with her, how can I just be friends now? He returned the kiss on her cheek and pulled back to look at her seriously.
"Can I have a rain check on that talk? We can talk tomorrow about moving you and Mackenzie in as soon as possible, since I'll be swamped with different things in the next few days."
Kate looked shocked. "You still want me?" At Rick's blush, she modified her speech. "I mean, you still want me to work for you?"
Rick took both of her hands in his, his earnest look piercing her heart. "I meant what I said. I'm willing to do anything for my children. I have not been the best parent since Kyra passed, and I know they've been hurting since. They need you, Kate. We need you."
She looked back with equal intensity. "I can't do this if you view us as a temporary fix. Mackenzie and I both need a sense of permanence. I don't want her to get attached to your family, and then have you move on next month or even a year from now. Do you really feel comfortable with that type of long term commitment?"
"I do." Rick chuckled inwardly at his choice of words. He couldn't believe he was thinking about marriage already. Maybe someday soon, she'd be willing to say them back. "If you are willing to try, even with all the risks, then I am as well." Rick's smile calmed her fears. She squeezed his hands nodding before he ducked into the waiting cab and drove off.
Mackenzie felt much better the next morning. She spent the next two hours after waking up dragging every tiny detail out of her mother about the party and then the carnival. Kate gave her an abridged version to her delighted squeals. Kate broached the subject of moving in with the Castle family.
"Mackenzie, what do you think about the Castle family?"
"I think they are great! Alexis is fun to play with and Aiden makes me laugh. Their grandma is very nice too."
Kate bit her lip. "And what about Mr. Castle?"
Mackenzie's eyes danced as she smiled. "Mama, Rick is the best! Are you going to marry him?"
Kate blushed at her question, thinking again about their kiss at the carnival. She gave Mackenzie an admonishing look. "Mackenzie, don't start with that. We don't even know each other very well. He's asked me to be his assistant, I'd be like a nanny for Alexis and Aiden and help Rick with other things around his house. What would you think about living there?"
Mackenzie threw her arms around her mother's neck, yelling ecstatically "That would be the absolute best! When do we go?"
Kate smiled at her energy. She hadn't been this lively since she got sick again. Kate reassured her that as soon as the doctors released her, they'd move into the Castle's residence. The ringing phone interrupted their celebration.
"Kate? Is this a good time to talk?" Rick's voice came through the receiver.
"Sure Rick, Mackenzie and I were just talking about last night."
Rick blushed as he thought about the events from last night. She told him that she still had to pack their belongings, which Rick offered to hire someone to take care of that then move them that afternoon. She looked at the clock and realized that she needed to meet with the doctors. She thanked him and gave him the address, then said goodbye.
Kate rushed to her appointment with the doctors about Mackenzie's most recent treatments. Dr. Clarke asked her to come into her office and had her sit down. Fran felt a little apprehensive, but the doctor gave her a heartening smile.
"It's good news, Kate. We just got the most recent test results for Mackenzie, and remission seems to be holding. Congratulations!"
Kate popped up from her seat and gave her a big hug, tears streaming down her face.
"Mackenzie's consolidation treatments went so well that you can take her home. She's got a lot of recuperating to do, but I have confidence in your ability to care for her properly. She can go today, providing that you're careful and return for follow up Maintenance treatments on this schedule." Dr. Clarke handed Kate a document filled with appointment dates. "I also talked with Dr. Davidson this morning. It seems that your hospital bill has been paid and that you are leaving us. On behalf of the staff, parents and patients here, you will be sorely missed."
Kate thanked her and literally floated back to Mackenzie's room. Most of the doctors and nurses took the time to throw an impromptu party to their favorite nurse and patient, then Kate made the rounds to say goodbye to the other children.
As she gathered their belongings and checked Mackenzie out of the hospital, Kate wondered if she was dreaming. Everything was going so well - her daughter's cancer in remission, a new job, and a new home in Soho. She couldn't shake the horrible feeling that something was going to happen to spoil the wonderful changes in her life.
But nothing terrible did happen. Kate and Mackenzie arrived at the Castle residence just as Alexis and Aiden arrived home from school, and the they spent the evening helping them settle into their new rooms.
True to his word, Rick was pulled away multiple days a week at varying times of day. He only had time for brief conversations about his expectations. Kate figured that she'd just have to use her own logic and common sense, and if she didn't agree with one of Rick's rules, she ignored it.
She made herself at home and she and the children all adjusted quickly. Mackenzie seemed very content and happy. Aiden and Alexis went out of their way to spend time with her. Alexis moved her dollhouse into the guest room so they could play together and Martha offered to helped Kate decorate it to look more like a little girl's room.
Aiden really surprised them by doing everything he could to make her laugh - telling jokes, miming, doing magic tricks. One day as he worked on his homework, Kate cornered him about it.
"Hey, Aiden, what are you doing?"
"Hi Kate, I'm working on a project." Kate just looked at him skeptically with her arms crossed in front of her. Aiden held up his hands defensively. "Really, it's for Art class. I'm making a video of me and all my friends doing our best jokes."
"Just for school?" Kate finally winked. "That's great. I wanted to thank you for spending time with Mackenzie and making her laugh."
Aiden shrugged, uncomfortable with the praise. "Well, they say laughter is the best medicine."
By the end of the week, Rick felt exhausted. He returned sometime after midnight to a loft dark and peacefully quiet. He smiled at the thought. He paused at the door to the guest room, Mackenzie's room now, and peeked in to see her. She surprised him by greeting him softly. "Hi Rick."
"Mackenzie, it's very late. You should be sleeping."
"I know, but it's so hard for me to sleep."
Worried, Rick sat down on the edge of her bed and picked up her hand in his. "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick?"
"A little, but I just can't stop thinking about things. I'm so glad to live here, and to go to kindergarten soon, and to not stay in the hospital, and to have a sister and a brother, and just...everything!"
Rick smiled at her reference to his children as her siblings. "I used to read to Aiden when he couldn't sleep. How about a little story?"
Her eyes lit up and a big grin creased her face. "Oh yes, please!"
"Aiden's favorite was about Peter Rabbit. Our story begins once upon a time on a bright, sunny morning. Four young rabbits named Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail and Peter, lived with their mother in a sandy hole..."
Rick wove the tale and lost himself in the memory of slipping into his son's room to tell it to him many years ago. By the end, Mackenzie fought to keep her drooping eyelids open and tried to stifle a yawn. Rick tucked her in, pulling her blankets up to her chin and started to stand.
"Rick, are you my daddy now?"
The question took him by surprise. He almost answered 'no' immediately, but stopped himself when he looked at her innocent and hopeful face. He sat back down on her bed, taking her hand again.
He thought about how Kate acted like a mother to his kids and was thankful for it. Although they'd only known each other for a few weeks, whenever he looked into the future, he always saw them together. He remembered Kate telling him Mackenzie's wish, so he considered his words carefully, not wanting to give her false hope.
"Well, Mackenzie, I do care for you and I would like you to stay with us for a very long time. In a way, we're like a family, so I don't see any reason not to act like a father to you."
She smiled sleepily, "Good... Rick?"
"Yes Mackenzie?"
"Can I call you Daddy, when it's just us?"
He reached down and caressed her cheek with the back of his knuckles, "It can be our little secret." Rick bent down to kiss the top of her head and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.
"Goodnight, Daddy" she whispered in his ear.
Rick felt tears spring to his eyes. "Goodnight, sweetie. Go to sleep now"
She obediently closed her eyes with a contented grin and fell asleep as he watched silently from the door.
For the next few months Rick grew accustomed to having Kate in his home. He and Kate developed a somewhat intriguing relationship. One minute, she'd be flirting with him, to which he'd eagerly respond, and the next minute, they'd be bantering. They both cherished their private moments after the children fell asleep. They would often sit together and talk about the children, his frustrations with work, or her hopes for the future. Afterwards, they'd just sit together on the couch, enjoying the warmth and companionship of the other. On occasion, they even exchanged friendly hugs and kisses. However, since that first night at the carnival, she never let it get out of control, and he respected her boundary of friendship.
For Rick, his feelings burned like a coal in the pit of his stomach. Sometimes when they dropped their guard, it would bubble to the surface. They would accidentally touch or share a look and the atmosphere would crackle. Then he would drop his eyes and visibly stamp down his emotions and she would give him an understanding look.
Kate knew she was falling in love with him when she overheard one of his late night visits with Mackenzie. She smiled fondly as she listened to him retell the story of Jemima Puddle-Duck and started to cry when she heard Mackenzie call him 'Daddy'. The next day, she called Lanie after the kids left for school.
"Lanie, I need to talk." Kate confided everything in her friend. "What am I gonna do?"
"About what?"
"I think Mackenzie's getting attached to Rick. She started calling him 'Daddy'."
"So, she calls me 'Aunt Lanie' and we're not exactly sisters," Lanie laughed. "You treat his kids like your own. So how is this any different?"
"He's so sweet with her, I think I'm starting to fall for him."
"What is so wrong with that?
Kate sighed. "I don't want her to get hurt."
"Kate, give the kid a break! She's had a hard time bein' sick and all. If calling him 'Daddy' makes her happy, then let her. It just means that you can't quit, not that you ever would..."