"If I had a choice, I wouldn't be here… I wouldn't be anywhere." ― Faraaz Kazi
"Life was such a fragile thing—as delicate and as beautiful as a butterfly, as ephemeral as a sunset. Death is peaceful. Death is quiet, silent. It is calming." ― Akanksha
"Well, they're asleep," Remus stated as he entered the kitchen of Grimmauld Place.
Sirius sat at the head of the table with his feet propped up on it, leaning back in his chair on its two back legs and cutting into an apple with a pocket knife. "I must say, your brief training as a mediwizard has come in handy. It's a good thing they didn't kick you out earlier," he said as he bit off a piece of apple from the blade of the knife.
The subject of Remus' expulsion from mediwizard training was a sore spot for Remus. And despite Sirius' causal mentioning of it, he still held a grudge over the reasoning behind it. "I just wanted to help people," Remus lamented.
"You would have too if people's judgement didn't get clouded when they heard the word: werewolf," Sirius stated darkly.
Remus smiled ruefully. "How is it that I've never lost your support? After all those years where I believed you were guilty," he asked.
"Because we swore to stand by you until we died, no matter what," Sirius reminded him simply.
Remus nodded, remembering the night Sirius and James confronted him during their first year at Hogwarts. How they promised to always be friends and swore that they could care less that he was a werewolf; that they, in fact, thought it was great fun. He knew then that he was lucky to have had such good friends.
"So did you have to knock them out?" Sirius asked.
"Sort of. I gave them something to help them relax. But I doubt that they'll be down for long," Remus answered. "By the way, we probably should get them something to wear other than what they were buried in," he said thoughtfully.
"I've already taken care of it," Sirius said, taking another bite of the apple.
Remas gaped at him. "How did you manage that without being caught or seen?" he demanded.
"I asked Dora to get me a wardrobe for both a man and a woman and gave her the key to my vault with a note for James and Lily's sizes," Sirius informed him.
"Did you tell her why you wanted wardrobes for a man and a woman?" Remus asked.
Sirius looked at him thoughtfully, another piece of apple halfway to his mouth. "No, but she did give me this amused wink," he said.
"I think Andromeda has filled her head with stories from when we were teenagers," Remus told him.
"Huh," Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders. "Well that explains the wink."
"You're not too upset that she thinks you've decided to become a crossdresser?" Remus stated questionably.
"Not really. I like being the eccentric one," Sirius told him with a cheeky grin.
Remus just shook his head in response. However a loud crash from upstairs caught their attention.
"Probably just Kreacher trying to hoard things again," Sirius muttered darkly. However not three seconds after he said it then the elf in question walked past the kitchen door, muttering darkly.
Both Remus and Sirius jumped up and began hurrying up the stairs as quietly as possible to the room they had designated for Lily and James, accross the one Sirius had picked out for Harry. They burst into the room to find Lily on the floor, picking up pieces of a broken picture frame. She looked up at them upon their entrance.
"Where am I?" she asked brokenly.
"The Most Ancient House of Black," Sirius told her with an air of disdain as Remus took over cleaning up the broken pieces of glass and moved to repair it. "Just toss it, the frame and its occupants mean little to me," he snapped coldly at Remus.
"Is this hell?" Lily asked brokenly.
"I've always thought so," Sirius grumbled bitterly and Remus shot him a sharp look.
"No, Lily, why would you say that?" Remus asked, concerned.
"Why are we here then?" Lily asked.
"Because...because Harry needs you," Remus said.
Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. "After what he's been through, he needs more support than your bloody sister is willing to give him," he muttered darkly. "If Moony would let me, I'd hex her and that walrus she married."
"Not the point, Sirius!" Remus snapped.
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the front door, followed by someone knocking over the troll umbrella stand and followed by Mrs. Black's screaming which woke James up who jerked up in the bed, wand at ready, his eyes wildly searching the room.
"Bloody hell!" Sirius cursed as he ran down the stairs. "Shut up you old hag! Shut up!" he shouted.
"Yoooou! Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!"
"I said SHUT UP! Sirius screamed as he closed the curtains and turned to a sheepish looking Tonks.
"Sorry," she said as she held up the bundles of clothes and bags.
"Maybe I should move that umbrella stand," Sirius stated, rubbing the back of his neck. "Is that what I asked for?" he asked.
"You said to spare no expense and to go wild," Tonks reminded him.
"You keep some for yourself?" Sirius asked.
"Yup. Like my new jacket?" Tonks replied.
"Nice, dragonhide?" Sirius replied. "Did you get something for your parents?"
"Yes, but the goblins at gringotts kept giving me suspicious looks when I told them what vault I wanted to get into," Tonks told him.
"Well, they shouldn't. You're a Black by blood, you have a right to that money," Sirius told her.
"So what did you need these clothes for?" Tonks asked curiously.
"Umm...well...it's kind of a surprise," Sirius told her, taking the bundles of clothes.
"A surprise, tell me!" Tonks said.
"Maybe later," Sirius told her just as a loud bang could be heard from above them.
"What was that?" Tonks asked.
"Ah, that was just Kreacher," Sirius told her. "Let me know how Andromeda and Ted like their gifts," he told her as he ushered her to the door.
"But, Sirius!" Tonks protested.
Sirius closed the door on her and hurried back up the stairs to find that James had tackled Remus to the floor and was trying to strangle him while Remus was doing his best to shove James off of him.
"A little help here!" Remus called to him when he spotted Sirius.
Amused by his friend's predicament, Sirius deposited the bundles at his feet and leaned up against the door frame. "I don't know, I thought werewolves had extra human strength," he said lazily.
"It's not funny, Sirius!" Remus snapped. "He thinks I'm a death eater and I've captured him and kidnapped Harry!"
"You mean someone thinks you're the death eater and not me? Oh lucky day," Sirius said sarcastically.
"Padfoot!" Remus snapped.
"Oh alright!" Sirius said. He pushed himself away from the doorframe and walked over to them, grabbing James under the arms and pulling him away. "Bad Prongs, you don't try to kill Moony!" he chastised.
"Where's Harry?" James demanded.
"In Little Winning with Petunia, you'll be seeing him soon," Sirius told him placidly.
"Why?" James croaked.
"Why is he with Petunia? Well, you'll have to take that up with Dumbledore. He refused to let me take him after Peter soled you out to Voldemort," Sirius told him.
"Which was almost fourteen years ago," Remus stated as he stood up, rubbing his neck.
"What happened?" James demanded.
"Well..." Sirius trailed off and looked to Remus.
"What do you remember?" Remus asked hesitantly.
"I...there was someone outside...I felt cold and I knew," James said.
"Peter told Voldemort where to find you," Sirius filled in. "I'm so sorry, James. I should have never suggested using him. Can you ever forgive me?" Sirius pleaded.
"I told Lily to take Harry and run, that I would hold him off," James said as the memory came back to him.
"Then you died, you died standing between Voldemort and your family," Remus told him gently.
Lily stepped forward and knelt next to James. "He cornered me in the nursery, demanded that I step aside and let him kill Harry. I wouldn't do it and I begged him not to hurt Harry, I pleaded for mercy but he wouldn't hear of it," she cried, brokenly. "I remember the curse, the flash of green and the pain and then nothing. My baby was left alone." She started crying after that and James held her close.
Remus knelt down next her. "You saved Harry's life, Lily. By sacrificing yourself, you invoked powerful magic that enabled him to survive the killing curse. Harry is alive because you loved him enough to die for him," he told her.
"If we died, then why are we here?" James wanted to know.
"You're here because I brought you here," Sirius explained. "I found a book in my mother's possessions that describes such magic. I used it because now, more than ever, Harry needs you. What he has already faced is nothing compared to what he will face next and he will need all the support he could get," he knelt down before Lily and James. "Dark times are upon us. That night when Voldemort attacked you almost destroyed him and now he has returned. The ministry refuses to believe that he has and is attacking Dumbledore and Harry, calling them liars. They claim that Dumbledore wants to take over the ministry and that Harry is off his rocker. No one was there when Voldemort returned save for Harry and the ministry refuses to go on his word alone," he finished.
"Why are we in your parents house?" James asked Sirius pointedly.
"Because I'm loaning it to the Order as headquarters. My parents died years ago and it's been empty since Walburga croaked," Sirius answered. "Perfect use for it, I'd say." He then offered his friend an encouraging smile. "Want to see some pictures of Harry? I've got a scrapbook," he offered in order to change the subject.
"When did you get a scrapbook?" Remus asked.
"Hagrid gave it to me, cried all over me and said he knew I was innocent all along," Sirius answered.
"Where was I?" Remus asked bewildered.
"Well, you were curled up with Buckbeak, sleeping off the full moon," Sirius answered.
"Ah, yes. The Wolfsbane potion tends to do that," Remus said dryly.
"You two need to fill us in," Lily said, wiping her eyes.
"It's been how long since Halloween?" James asked again.
"That particular Halloween? About thirteen years and eight months," Sirius answered after quickly thinking it over in his head.
"It's impossible..." James said.
"Then why did that muggle newspaper say it was 1995?" Remus reasoned.
"But how can we have been dead for nearly fourteen years?" Lily asked.
Sirius just showed them the book he used.
James cursed as he read the page Sirius indicated. "You're bloody mental!" he snapped angrily.
"He's had bouts of it since he broke out of Azkaban," Remus stated dryly.
James looked up. "Azkaban?" he questioned.
Sirius then explained how Peter framed him and how he spent twelve years in the wizarding prison.
"Wait, if you were in Azkaban for twelve years, then where was Harry?" Lily wanted to know.
Remus and Sirius shared a look which was never a good sign.
"Where is our son?" James demanded threateningly, emphasizing each word.
"It's not my fault," Sirius began.
"This time it really isn't," Remus cut in.
Sirius glanced at him. "Put a sock in it, Remus! I don't need you to jump to my defense at every opportunity," he snapped. Turning back to the two rather threatening looking parents and eyeing how they both had a hand in their pockets, fisted around what must be their wands, he started to explain. "It was Dumbledore! Well, he somehow knew about it before I did and when I arrived at your house, well, Hagrid was already there carrying Harry out. I immediately told him to give me Harry but the oaf refused because Dumbledore ordered him to take Harry to your sister. I all but gave up there. I was a wreck and I didn't really stop to think. I was the only one to know the truth and the only one who could catch the rat before he escaped and there was no time to convince Dumbledore that I was innocent so I decided to go after the rat instead of fighting for Harry," he explained and at the steely looks he received, he backed up a few steps. "The good thing is that Harry knows everything and we have a regular correspondence where he tells me everything that's going on," he told them.
Remus looked at his two recently returned friends. "Is there anything specific that either of you would like to ask us?" he asked before Sirius dug himself deeper. His question somehow was able to change the mood of the room as both Lily and James turned away from Sirius, each wearing a blank look.
"No," Lily said suddenly. "I'm tired and I have a headache from what I've just learned right now," she calmly added.
"And I don't know what else to say so it's best if you left us alone," James said, not looking at his two best friends.
Remus nodded and pulled Sirius out of the room before Sirius could say anything else.
Once they were gone, Lily collapsed onto the bed and wept as James turned away, staring fixedly out the window. Everything that they knew had just been stolen from them and replaced by such darkness. Neither were at all prepared to handle what came next just yet and they needed time to grieve for the life that they both had lost. Both of them were thinking of how much better off they were while they were dead.
A couple days later, James woke in the middle of the night, having dreamed about the night he had died. Beside him, Lily was still sleeping. Not wishing to disturb her, James carefully got out of bed and left the room, deciding to go downstairs to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Upon his entrance, he found Sirius sitting at the table, casually leaning back in his chair on its rear legs and nursing a bottle of firewhiskey.
"What are you doing awake?" Sirius asked.
"I woke up," James stated as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water.
"I can't sleep," Sirius stated. "Every time that I close my eyes, I dream about either Azkaban or Walburga," he confessed.
"Have you tried a dreamless sleep potion?" James asked flatly.
"Don't have any," Sirius said. "But the firewhiskey is serving as an alternative."
"Hmm," James hummed as he took a sip of water.
"So what woke you?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing," James said evasively, unwilling to discuss the topic.
Sirius eyed him shrewdly. "You know, whenever Harry doesn't want to talk about something he pretends that it's nothing so he could get people to leave him alone," he pointed out. "It never works," he added.
James frowned and knitted his brows together, a sure sign, to those who knew him, that he was nettled about something. He said nothing to Sirius' comment, but instead set his glass down on the counter rather roughly and turned to leave.
Sirius righted his chair with a snap and said, "If you have something to say then say it," he said evenly.
"I have nothing to say," James told him and walked towards the door to the kitchen only to have his way blocked when a cupboard jumped in front of it. Turning around, he found a wand laying on the table near Sirius' right hand. "What do you want me to say, Sirius?" he demanded coolly.
"Why are you acting like such a git?" Sirius demanded. He then stood up and rounded the table. "I know that you used to like to act superior and show off in school, but the James Potter I used to know wasn't a git," he said.
"The James Potter that you used to know died, if you've forgotten," James pointed out.
"I haven't forgotten," Sirius told him evenly.
"Neither have I," James said and with a flick of his own wand, the cupboard moved out of his way and he left the kitchen and Sirius behind him.
It had been over a week since the new moon and in that time Lily and James kept to themselves and spent their time in silence when they were around their friends. Both Remus and Sirius tried to strike up conversations with them and even chatted about non consequential things and mostly talked about Harry. But neither Lily nor James paid much attention because all they could think about was what had happened on that Halloween night and the position that their friends had now put them through by bringing them back. James in particular had begun to get more and more agitated by the simplest things while Lily tended to become more reserved. And since it was a secret that they were alive, both Sirius and Remus found themselves making excuses, lying, and using new tricks to keep their friends hidden and out of the way during order meetings. Two weeks since their resurrection, James confronted his two friends on this, having seen through their act all along and threatened to reveal himself at the next order meeting.
"And how are you going to find out when that is if I don't tell you?" Sirius had challenged.
"I'll use my invisibility cloak to spy on you. Now where is it?" James snapped.
"Harry has it," Sirius stated proudly. And so he had managed to thwart James once but he knew that it was unlikely that it would happen a second time.
James however wasn't pleased. Choosing to distance himself from his two friends, he exiled himself to his and Lily's room until he could think of a better plan. Not caring about Mrs. Black's screams, he forcefully slammed the door behind him and punched it hard enough to painfully crack his knuckles, swearing with such vulgarity that would shame his mother had she still been alive. He tuned out the outraged screams of the portrait downstairs and Sirius roars in response. Turning, he found Lily sitting on the sofa at the end of the bed and staring at a leather bound photo album laying on the table in front of her as though it held inside it some sort of plague.
"What is that?" he asked sitting down beside her.
"A scrapbook. Sirius brought it up earlier. He said that it held pictures of Harry inside," Lily told him, not taking her eyes off the book. It was as though she were afraid of it.
James glanced at the book and understood perfectly. Inside that book was the confirmation that this nightmare was real and neither of them were quite willing to accept the facts just yet. "If we open that book..."
"Then everything that we've been told these past two weeks is real," Lily finished. "That we were dead for fourteen years."
"I can't see any reason for either Sirius or Remus to lie about that," James told her.
"You couldn't see that Peter was a death eater either," Lily snapped coldly.
James looked at her. "Why would they lie about something like that?" he argued.
"I don't know!" Lily cried and stood up in order to put distance between them as she paced briefly. "To be dead for fourteen years and then brought back to life, how is that even possible?" she questioned.
"Anything is possible where magic is concerned. There are many ways around death that is considered forbidden knowledge. To alter nature in such a way; such magic comes with a price that some would even call it dark magic," James stated.
"What kind of price?" Lily demanded cautiously.
"I don't know," James answered honestly. "I've only come across the briefest mentions of it in books held in the restricted section of the Hogwarts Library. I've never read much detail on the subject. If I had the option, I would ask my father for advice on the subject."
Lily went to him and sat back down, grasping his arm. "If this is dark magic that brought us back, then is there a chance that we came back wrong in some way? What affect does this have on us?" she wanted to know.
"I don't know!" James snapped, this time being the one to stand up. He ran both hands through his hair in frustration, making it stick up in an awful mess. "I don't know what the price was for us to come back. I wake up every night because I keep reliving my death in my sleep and I have to think about how fourteen years has passed by since and all I can feel is anger and resentment. I'm so angry at Sirius for being so reckless and at Remus for being coerced into helping him. Didn't they think about what it would be like for us? No, all they could think about is how great it would be to have us back. It was selfish and even though they don't say it, I know that they expect everything to go back to the way things were but it never will," he ranted as he paced.
Lily followed his movements silently. "It will never be the same, how can they think that it will be?" she said quietly.
James made a derisive noise. "Don't ask me for insight into Sirius' depraved mind," he said acidly. He then sat down and faced the photo album. "I suppose he thinks that would make us happy," he said.
Lily brought her knees up against her chest. "I don't want to look at it," she said.
"So lets not look at it," James agreed.
Lily turned to him. "What does that make us then?" she asked.
"Afraid of reality?" James supplied and then shook his head. "I just don't want to face it yet," he said. "It shouldn't make us terrible, right?"
"I hope not," Lily said.
James considered himself a logical person and mostly rational with the exceptions of a few things where he would ignore logic and reason. He was also intelligent and very skilled when came to magic. He was, after all, a product of his father's high expectations. He held high moral character when it came to wizarding issues and held himself as a wizard of honor. However prepared to die for the things he believed in and for his family, and did by the way, he never considered the possibility of cheating death or returning from death. James had believed that death was permanent, but, alas, he was wrong. James had underestimated the attachment Sirius had towards him.
Now James, along with Lily, was forced to face what it meant to be alive after being dead for thirteen and a half years. There was a lot that had changed in the world in that time and much to adjust to.
Remus, Sirius' accomplice once more, had the foresight to prepare some key notes of everything that had happened during the time that James and Lily had been dead. And thanks to Remus' key organization skills and hoarding habits when it came to sources of information, he had a book comprised of every issue of the daily prophet for the past fourteen years, all of which he had brought over for James and Lily to peruse.
"So here it is," James stated as he looked to the books containing the information Remus had given them. "The proof that we've been dead for thirteen years."
"I suppose that we should start to look through them, shouldn't we?" Lily said from her place next to the fireplace.
"Logically, we should acquaint ourselves with what happened in our absence. But, I'm not sure if I'm ready to face this reality," James said.
Lily moved to stand beside him and looped her arm around his. "Will we ever be ready to face it?" she asked.
James looked her in the eye. "I don't think we'll have a choice," he said. "I don't think we can live inside the safety of the bubble of ignorance for too long. Not if Remus and Sirius are telling the truth and Voldemort is at large."
Lily nodded and took a seat, flipping open Remus' notes. "I'm sure that Remus wrote down the important stuff. I think we should start with that and then reference it with the prophets he brought over," she said.
"Not exactly the study plan that I'm accustomed to, but I suppose your way is best," James said as he joined her.
They sat in silence as they read over the information, occasionally referencing it together and James didn't know how much time had passed until Lily spoke, her gaze drawn to a particular passage in the prophet. "Do you feel like you've gone to sleep and are now inside your own nightmare?" she asked.
"A never ending one," James answered, his eyes fixed on a particular paragraph that he had read five times already, trying to focus on the words rather than his own morose thoughts about life and death and everything between.
After another period of silence, Lily spoke again. "I wish that I was still dead," she said in a voice barely above a whisper.
James reached over and took her hand, looking her in the eye. "As do I," he agreed.
Lily nodded and took a deep breath to compose herself. "No one can know," she said. "If any of our friends knew about this, it would crush them," she told him.
James wasn't sure if he could keep something this strong from his friends, but he agreed nonetheless. "We'll not say a word," he said. After all, there was no use doing anything about it but to try to deal with the situation they were dealt.
In the second week of July, the daily prophet arrived and as soon as the delivery owl dropped the paper in front of Remus, it took off again. Remus set down his toast and unrolled the paper and cursed, abusing the minister of magic and the prophet all in one sentence which caused Sirius to stare at him in shock.
"What have they done now?" Sirius asked.
Remus brandished the paper for him to see the front page which was a picture of Harry with the headline: THE BOY WHO LIED. "They're not only attacking Dumbledore, now they're calling Harry a disturbed teenager who has resorted in lying to gain attention and to create mass panic," he snapped.
Sirius grabbed the paper and narrowed his eyes to slits. "They wouldn't be saying this if they heard him describe what happened in that graveyard," he said darkly and then began to utter a series of vicious threats towards the minister.
"I wonder if we could get Harry's memory of what happened and put it in a pensieve," Remus mused logically.
Sirius eyed Remus. "You can ask him, but I'm not sure if he would want to revisit the issue," he said.
"It was just a thought. If certain people were to see it, they might be able to believe it better," Remus told him.
"Good morning."
Remus and Sirius swiveled around at the surprising cheery tone and stared as Lily and James walked into the kitchen. "Run into any cheering charms lately?" Sirius asked bluntly.
"No, why?" James said evenly.
"Ignore him. The prophet has him in a sour mood," Remus said calmly but otherwise unable to hide his own irritation.
"What about the prophet?" Lily asked.
Sirius brandished the prophet to them. "Nothing like a cowardly politician to spread vicious slurs to maintain his own little fantasy," he said sarcastically.
James glanced at the headline and tried to ignore the picture underneath. "I don't know what it means," he admitted.
"The minister is refusing to believe that Voldemort has returned and as a result he is making Dumbledore and Harry out to be liars and off their rocker," Remus explained. He then took turns with Sirius in filling them in on what has been going on, about the Triwizard Tournament, Voldemort's return and the minister's reaction. Once they were done James and Lily had sat down at the table.
"So he's being persecuted for..." Lily began.
"Telling the truth," Sirius finished. "The ironic thing is that people don't want to hear the truth, they just want to feed on the Ministry's propaganda," he finished bitterly.
"I'm sure that Harry will be more than able to handle the ministry's slurs," Remus reasoned once he had calmed down. "I sincerely doubt he will lay down and just take it, that is something not in his character," he added.
"Ha! He'll stand up and take the ministry's persecution head one and challenge anyone who disagrees with the truth. That boy is as bold as we were, if not more and he has your temper, Lily, for sure. When this is all over, you wait, the ministry will come crawling to him, begging for his support only to be kicked away," Sirius said proudly.
Remus gave a rueful smile. "Yes, he certainly has had experience with handling bullies. I don't think he has ever back down from a bully. I know he's confronted a few and stood up to them all," he said.
Sirius looked at him. "Yeah, like Cissy's nasty little brat. Just like his filthy father, Draco is," he said. "Not to mention how much Snivellus likes to bully him in class," he added hastily.
"Snivellus?" James asked evenly.
"He's teaching potions at Hogwarts. He has a habit of taking his revenge on you and Sirius out on Harry by using his authority as a professor. He is also very harsh on Harry's friends. Poor Neville Longbottom is terrified of him," Remus explained. "Harry hates and mistrusts Severus on principal unlike you and Sirius here, when the two of you hate him for..." he looked between his two friends, "What were your reasons again? For being a slytherin slimy git?"
"Well he is!" both James and Sirius chorused.
"So Sev treats Harry terribly?" Lily asked.
Remus nodded. "Oh yes, I'm afraid. He's threatened to poison Harry as a means to test out antidotes and threatened to slip him veritaserum and I'm not sure what else," he confirmed. "I'm afraid that he looks at Harry and sees James instead," he finished.
James at least had the decency to look uncomfortable when Lily sent him a look that clearly said that Harry's misfortune was his fault.
"Anyway," Sirius interrupted. "I think it is clear that whatever the ministry decides to throw at Harry until they admit to the truth, that Harry will be more than capable to deal with it head on. However, maybe we should break it down to him so that he is prepared to handle it rather than being taken off guard. Dumbledore may say otherwise, but we should tell him straight up what is going on," he said.
"Dumbledore has his reasons for not telling Harry everything, Sirius," Remus told him.
"Dumbledore always has reasons. Reasons like dumping him with those filthy muggles which seems unfathomable. The Weasley's have already offered to take him in three years ago but were refused due to reasons that Dumbledore didn't feel necessary to explain in more words than 'Harry is protected as long as he lives with his aunt.' Which is a load of rubbish considering the way he is treated," Sirius ranted.
"Yes, we all know how annoyed you've been with Dumbledore lately, Sirius. Just don't let your irritation get in the way of the Order," Remus said placidly.
"You're irritated with Dumbledore, again?" James asked.
Sirius shrugged. "It comes and goes," He said. "I'm always loyal to Dumbledore and I trust his judgement, however I may disagree with him."
"Speaking of Dumbledore, does he know? About us, I mean." Lily asked.
Remus and Sirius shared a look before answering. "Not completely," Sirius answered.
"That would be a no," James deduced.
"Do you plan on telling him or are you going to keep us in hiding forever?" Lily asked.
"I'm looking for the right moment," Sirius hedged.
"Which translates to you're afraid to admit to Dumbledore that you disobeyed his orders or disregarded his strong advice and went along with your own crazy plans anyway," Remus said long sufferingly.
"Put a sock in it, Moony!" Sirius snapped.
Lily and James shared a look, both knowing that it wasn't going to be a pleasant moment when they were found out.
In the third week of July, Sirius received a letter from Harry. He, Remus, James and Lily were eating breakfast when they heard tapping at the window. Looking up, they saw a snowy owl outside the window.
"Hedwig!" Sirius shouted happily as he jumped up to let the owl in. "Owe, owe, bloody bird, owe, stop it or I'll stun you!" he shouted as he threw his arms over his head when she started pecking him mercilessly. "What I'd ever do to you?" he shouted at the bird.
James roared with laughter for the first time in a long time as Remus shook his head in amusement. Lily however gawked.
Hedwig soared around the room before perching herself on the back of Sirius' vacated chair and held her leg out, hooting indignantly. Sirius reached for the letter and yanked his hand back, glaring when she clicked her beak furiously. "Are you going to let me have the letter or not?" he snapped.
Lily reached over and extracted the letter, stroking the owl and then handed Sirius the letter. "Who's it from?" she asked.
"Harry. That's his bloody owl," Sirius grumbled as he sat down to read his letter.
Lily turned back to the owl. "Her name is Hedwig?" she asked, stroking the bird. "She's beautiful."
"And fiercely devoted to Harry. They have a special bond," Remus explained.
"What does he say?" James asked.
"Here, read it yourself," Sirius said, handing the letter over. "He wants answers, wants to know what's going on with Voldemort. And he instructed Hedwig to peck me until I replied," he summarized. However, as soon as he said it, he reminded Hedwig of her instructions and she started pecking him again. "Bloody hell!" he raged.
Remus silently handed him a quill and parchment and continued to eat.
A/N: A bit of a dark or depressing chapter, but I think that is supposed to be the point. Can any of you imagine what it must feel like to be dead for nearly fourteen years and then suddenly be alive again only to find that your life and everything you have ever known has been ripped to shreds? So yeah, Lily and James need to adjust to their new life and it won't be easy. If you are looking for a fluffy or happy Lily and James return fic, then this probably isn't the one for you. It is my goal to portray their return in an emotional and realistic way. I do hope that my efforts in doing so is appreciated.
In the next chapter we have the moment that I know we all have been waiting for: the reunion of Harry and his parents. I have so much for that chapter that I am considering splitting it up into two chapters so let me know what you think.