Chapter 14

How Much More Can I Take?

[Monica's POV]

"Well….I had fun today, Isis. Thanks." I smiled as we stood on my front porch.

"No, thank you. I can't wait to spend more time with you Monica. You're a very beautiful girl." She gave a side smile as I blushed.

She reached over and put some of my hair behind my ear before she cupped my face and I know she still wants to kiss me…but…I just….I'm scared to kiss her to be honest. I don't know how to kiss. What if I do it wrong? What if she laughs? What if someone sees us? She's still a girl!

Isis looked at me from the top of her eyes. "Just one?" She lifted a brow as I sighed.

"Isis…."

"Okay, I promised I wouldn't force you." She said as she leaned in and gave me a small lingering kiss on my cheek. "I'll see you Monday okay? I have a lot of school work to do tomorrow, but I'll definitely call you."

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks Isis. See you."

She smiled. "No…thank you for doing this with me. It means a lot. See you Sweetlove." She said as backed away kissing her finger and pointing it to me before she turned to walk away.

Isis….she's sweet. She's a sweet girl…

I walked into thehouse before dropping my house keys and purse off at the stand.

"Hey Monica is that you!?" I heard my mother call out as I followed her voice to the kitchen.

"Hey sweetie." She smiled as she put something in the oven. Why does she bother in trying to bake and cook things. Just give up!

"Hi. Did you find a job?"

She frowned. "No, not yet."

"You will." I smiled as I took a seat at the kitchen table.

"So what did you do today? I see you and Isis have become good friends."

My heart started to race. What would she think if I told her I was dating her? Maybe Isis is right about her not really caring. She is my mother. She should love me either way right?

"Yeah. She's nice."

"Well I'm glad you made a good friend." She smiled as she walked out of the kitchen.

Well…what she doesn't know won't hurt though, right?

[Cat's POV]

"Uhhh I'm exhausted!" Jade said as we walked in the front door.

"Me too." I said closing it behind us.

"I, I'm, going to s, s shower." Ikenzie said as she sprinted up the stairs with Jade and I following behind.

"Thanks Babe. I had so much fun today!" I smiled as I sat down and slipped off my shoes.

I felt her yank me up to her before placing her lips on mine roughly. I gasped in surprise before kissing her back softly.

She finally pulled away before she looked at me in a disgusted way.

"What?" I asked as I crossed my wrist.

"You're so pretty!" She mocked in my voice as she turned away from me to look in the mirror. I watched as she grabbed a hair tie and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail before pushing me out of her way so she could sit on the bed.

"I was just being nice Jade."

"Whatever." She said as she yanked her shoes off with her first shirt following after.

"I don't like Monica."

"Why?"

"Because there's just something about her I don't like." She shot at me. "I don't have to have a reason."

"There's got to be a reason you don't like her. I think she's a nice girl."

"Of course you do!"

I sighed.

"Oh don't you sigh at me Cat!"

I walked over and sat down beside her on the bed. "Jade I love you. I always will. You're my one and only."

She looked away as she gave a small sigh before she grabbed my arms pulled me into her lap. "I love you too babe." She said before she softly put her lips to mine. I let my tongue slide across her bottom lip before she opened and let our tongues meet like it was the first time. I love kissing Jade. It makes me feel hot all over. I actually remember the first time that I kissed her. It was the best night of my life.

~Flashback~

11 years old

"Are you okay?" I asked as we sat on her back porch one night.

She shrugged. "Yeah."

I looked down before looking back up at her.

"I love you Jadelyn."

Her eyes got wide as she turned to me. "R..really?"

"Yes. Why so shocked?" I giggled.

"Um…no one….one besides my little sister has ever told me that before." She smiled as she put some hair behind her ear.

I smiled. "Well….I do."

She turned away from me as she put her head down. I reached over and put my hand on her knee before she turned back to me.

I smiled before leaning up and placing a small kiss on her lips and then pulled away.

She reached up to her lips shyly as she felt them with a small blush on her face. "Thanks Cat."

"Our first kiss Jadelyn." I giggled as I stood up. "Well I have to get home. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

She smiled as she nodded. "Okay."

I started to walk away before she called out, "Cat!"

I turned around to her. "Yes?"

She nodded. "I love you too."

I smiled harder. "See you tomorrow." I said before continuing my walk home.

I knew since then that Jadelyn would always have a special place in my heart.

I reached my hands down to the edge of her shirt and was about to pull up before she slapped my hands away.

I sighed.

"Jade, I don't care okay. It doesn't matter to me."

"The lights are on." She stated as if she didn't hear what I just explained to her.

"Baby, so. I don't care. You are beautiful. It doesn't matter."

"No Cat. It matters to me." She said in a low voice.

"It shouldn't. I love you and I don't just think you are beautiful. I know you are. You don't have to be ashamed or any of that. You shouldn't be. I love you."

She put her head down before she looked me in my eyes and leaned in for a small kiss before she backed away again. "I can't." With that she removed me from her and stood up.

"I'm going to shower. I'll be right out."

I nodded as I sighed. "Okay baby."

With that she was gone. I turned over and laid on my stomach as my chin rested on my folded arms.

Jade….she never takes off her shirt during sex or when I'm around if it's light in the room. She even takes showers in her beaters sometimes it's ridiculous. I don't care about the scraps and bruises and burns she has. I still think she's beautiful. She's so insecure about herself and it hurts my heart that she is.

I caught her once with her shirt off when I walked into the bathroom without knocking. It was years and years ago when we were still teens and she beat me for it. She beat me for not knocking on the door and seeing her. She hurt me for the first time.

I remember what a small portion of the side of her stomach, and a huge portion of her back looked like. It was burned. A huge burn. Something bad happened to her that night and she never will tell me what. She got extremely sad during that time and that's when she changed.

Jade wasn't always so mean. I met her when I was only 5 years old. She was a nice girl. She seemed really scared sometimes, but she was still nice. She always worse dresses and sometimes even smiled. I think it was a fake smile, but she still had one. She didn't always want to be mean to people. She actually helped people at school, she was friendly to them.

Then it all changed one night and that was the night she beat me when I came over. She was so angry and I didn't know of what. She wouldn't tell me. I ran home crying I thought I had lost my best friend and in reality I had.

After that night she started to wear black clothing all the time. She got tattoos and pricings. She was angry all of the time. She wanted to hurt people and she was mean and aggressive. I begged and begged for her to tell me what happened but she wouldn't. She said it was none of my business and after that she didn't want me to call her Jadelyn anymore. She said her name was Jade and to never call her Jadelyn again because that's not who she is.

I knew her parents use to hurt her. But I never told. I was too scared to tell anyone. She told me her parents told her they would kill her if she told anyone, but she told me. She said she trusted me.

In high school she met Beck. It was the first time I've seen her put on a real genuine smile since she was removed from her parents house and placed with her aunt a little after that crazy night.

She loved Beck and I was so happy she found someone who loved her back even though I was a tad bit jealous, but as along as she was happy I was too. She told me she never felt the way she did with Beck, that he was someone she always wanted….

Then it happened.

We were in the hallways. We were both late to school that day. She said it was because she had to pick me up but she was late everyday anyways. But I heard sounds coming from the janitors closet but she said I was hearing things. Then I heard it again and she wanted to prove to me I had problems so she dragged me to the closet and she yanked it open.

And I did hear something.

Tori and Beck….I couldn't believe them I covered my eyes.

Jade….she was so, so hurt after that. Even though she played it off like she didn't care at school she was a wreck back at home. She cried all the time. She then said how she can't trust anybody, not even me. But she said she wanted me though. She…raped me. She made me be hers in one night. And I haven't left her side since.

She takes a lot of things out on me and she has been for years, and I haven't left because I understand. But….I'm just….I'm so tired of this now. I'm so tired of being hurt by her, I'm so tired of her saying whatever she wants to, to me. But…it's my fault that she does. Because when we were little I told her if she ever feels like she just needs to let things out, to let them out on me. I didn't know…that…..she would, hurt me like she does. I meant like maybe a small hit here or there. Yelling at me, saying what she wants. I forgot I was dealing with Jade West.

And once I told her that I couldn't take it back you know? I promised I would be there for her. I just….it's getting old. Sometimes I just want to punch her back, but she would kill me if I did that. I want to maybe…find her a way to let her anger out in a way that's not towards me. But how can I do that without offending her?

I sighed.

I'll have to figure something out and soon because…

I don't know how much more of her I can take…

[Italy's POV]

"Feel the rain on your skin!

No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in

No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself with words unspoken

Live you life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still un written…"

"Beautiful v, v, voice!"

I gasped as I turned to see Ikenzie standing in my doorway as I removed my head phones.

I smiled. "Thanks love. What's up?"

"C, c, can I ask you a, a question?"

"Of course! Come sit." I said as I patted the side of my bed. 'What's up?"

She sighed as she took a seat. I could tell something was on her mind.

"So….I started my period today."

"Really!? Awwww you are so grown now! That means you are a woman." I smiled at her.

She nodded before her nod turned to a shaking of her head. "I…I, d, don't know what a pe, period I, I, is."

Uhh, ooooh

"Ooooh." I stated.

"Can y, y, you tell me?"

Um….this is not a question for me.

"Let Cat and Jade tell you." I said as I started to dismiss the conversation before I felt her hand on mine softly.

"C, can you please t, t, tell me? I, I'm nervous to talk t, t, t, to them a, about, it."

I sighed as I sat down. "Do you know anything about sex and reproducing Ikenzie? I mean anything?"

She has to know something!

She shook her head.

Dang….how sheltered has this girl been!?

"Soo you're telling me you never….you know….masturbated or anything before?"

She shook her head. "W, what is ma, masturbating?"

Oh God help me…

I put my arm around her shoulder.

I can't shake her off. She's my sister and she came to me….I have a job to do.

"You better get comfortable because we have a lotttttttttt to talk about babygirl."

She nodded as I started from the top.

Good thing I have nothing to do tomorrow morning….

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