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Chapter 21

What Am I Going to Do Now?

[Cat's POV]

"We'll be back okay, it shouldn't take that long." Jade said as she gave me a kiss on my cheek. Jade's taking Italy to the baby doctor today to get her check out and I'm so happy that the day Tori and I decide to go on a lunch date is the day she is taking Italy to the doctor.

"Alright." I said before her lips left my cheek and pressed softly against my lips.

"I love you baby." She said as she put some of my hair behind my ear and I just nodded. I didn't say it back and she didn't seem to notice as she grabbed her purse, called for Italy and was on her way.

I called Tori and it didn't take her long at all to arrive.

She pulled up at my house and I rushed quickly out of the door and to her car. I don't know why I ran….I just felt like I should run.

Tori stood on the outside of her car with her arms spread wide and since I was running I just took the opportunity to just run into her arms.

We embraced each other in one of the best hugs I have had in years! I always loved Tori's hugs. They were and are filled with so much genuine love and care. Sometimes I never wanted to let go, and now it one of those times.

"I've missed you soooo much Tori!"

She laughed as she kept her arms tight around me. "I've missed you too Cat!"

We finally let each other go as I skipped back around to the passenger's side and slipped right in.

"Your dress is pretty Cat."

I looked down at my dress and smiled. Jade never tells me my dresses are pretty. She doesn't care to.

"Thanks Tori. I like your hair. It's different."

And it is different. Her hair no longer is that shiny brunette that she had in high school, but now is a pitch black. She has the back it in curly locks falling down her back while the front is pulled back by a small hair bow with two strands hanging down each side by her ears. She's really pretty!

"Thanks." She said simply as she stopped at a stop light. "You know I'm not really in the mood for Nozu anymore. I kind of want pizza. Do you mind?"

"Oh no! I love pizza! One time my brother made some pizza and then the kitchen got real smoky and we had to call the fire department because our kitchen got caught on fire. Comes to find out he forgot to take it out of the box!" I giggled.

Tori laughed. "How'd he forget to do that?"

"My brother's kind of weird."

"Where is he these days? How's he doing?"

"Oh he's doing great! He lives in New York now!"

"That's awesome Cat." She said as she turned a corner.

Tori is so nice to ask about him. Nobody ever seems to care about my brother especially Jade. She always tells me to "shut the hell up" when I start to talk about him. It's nice to have someone listen for once.

We finally pulled in the parking lot of the pizza parlor and it didn't take long at all to get inside and get seated.

"So how are you Cat?" Tori asked as the waitress brought us both waters and took our salad and pizza orders.

"I'm okay. How are you?"

She shrugged. "It's a life. So how's things with you and Jade? She still hates my guts." She chuckled.

"She hated your guts the first day she met you Tori." I giggled purposely ignoring the first question.

She looked down. "I know. I wish I could make things up to her for what I've done though." She sighed. "I still can't believe myself, it was so unlike me. I just…I can't get over it even though it was years ago."

I reached over the table and softly put my hand on hers. "It's okay Tori. I forgive you. We all make mistakes. I'm glad to see you regret it though. But Jade….she just wouldn't understand any kind of apology. Just don't try to talk to her okay?"

"I really want to make things up to her somehow Cat."

I shook my head. "Don't Tori. Just leave it. You'd make things worse for her."

She just nodded. "Can you tell her I'm really sorry for me though."

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I would really love to apologize to Jade for Tori, but if I do that Jade would know I've talked to Tori and that's not good. But I can still tell Tori I did right? She wouldn't know the difference.

"Okay Tor, I will." I lied.

"So you guys have kids don't you? I've seen one of you guys' daughters….what was her name? Ice?"

"Isis. She's Jade's daughter. I have two girls, their names are Italy and Ikenzie. Italy is 15 and Ikenzie is 12."

"Awww do you have a picture?"

"I do!" I said as I reached into the small handbag that goes across my shoulder. I pulled out recent pictures of them and slid them to Tori.

"Oh my gosh, she looks just like you!" Tori said holding up a picture of Italy. "And she's so pretty Cat! Is she mixed?" She said holding up the picture of Ikenzie.

"Yeah."

"How did you guys have kids? Artificial Insemination…or…?" She said sliding the pictures back to me.

"Yes Artificial Insemination."

"That's cool."

The waitress came back with our pizza and salad orders before disappearing again.

"What about you? Do you have any kids?"

"Of course." She said putting her pizza down and reaching into her purse. She opened her wallet to show a picture of two girls in a professional picture.

"That's Monica she's 16 and that's Kaylee, she's 10." She said pointing to each one.

"Ohh Monica! I've heard about her but I've never seen her." I said taking the picture from her and scanning over it. "She looks more like you, but I can see Beck too." I moved my glance over to the smaller girl who no doubt was Beck's daughter. "Wow her and Beck are twins." I giggled.

"I know they look just alike." She said taking the picture back and putting it back in her wallet. "You said you heard about Monica, I guess the whole thing with Isis and her wanting to hang out. I didn't like the fact at first, but now I don't really care if they are friends you know? Monica can choose her own friends, I can't stop her from that. But I'm pretty sure Jade was mad about Isis wanting to be friends with Monica because she's my daughter right?"

Friends? Does she know that they are dating?

"Uuh yeah, yeah Jade doesn't like that. But I don't care either."

"So does Isis call you mom even though she's Jade's daughter?"

"Yeah sometimes. They all just usually say whatever. Sometimes my own kids call me Cat, and sometimes they call Jade mom…it's just whatever with them. We are one family. We don't discriminate our kids. I wouldn't say to Isis, "go ask Jade because she's your mom" I'm her mom too."

Tori nodded as she listened. "Well that's cute. Are you and Jade happy together?"

Great back around to this question just in another form.

"Ummm we have our days, but Jade's happy."

She looked at me sideways. "Jade's happy?" She chuckled. "What about you?"

I looked around and shrugged. "Yeah….sometimes. We just….we don't always get along."

"Ohh you guys argue a lot?"

"Yeah you can say that."

"How about you guys go to some marriage counseling classes? I believe they work."

"Ok." I left the conversation at that. She doesn't need to know everything that goes on with me and my wife. Tori always tries to be somebody's superhero. If I tell her what's going on…she'll take action and really she usually makes things worst not better. So she's better off not knowing and I'm better off not telling.

"How are you and Beck?" I asked trying to change the subject to her.

"Oh just the greatest!" She beamed at his name. I can tell Tori is really in love with Beck and if you ask me….Tori treats Beck way better than Jade ever did and most likely better than Jade ever would. I don't blame Beck for falling for Tori. She's so sweet and caring. I remember in high school I had a phase where I was crushing on Tori. It didn't last long at all, but all day I just thought about her holding me and kissing me and loving me, but that quickly passed and I never thought about it again.

"That's good."

"So where do you work Cat?"

"Oh….well….I'm kind of a stay at home wife. That's a huge job okay!"

She laughed. "Why are you defending yourself, I didn't say it wasn't! I know that can be hard."

"What about you?"

"I work in a studio doing stupid stuff. I really don't like my job."

"Why don't you be a pop singer?"

She laughed. "Cat it isn't that easy."

"Well are you trying?"

"….not really but…"

"-Then you can't say it's hard if you haven't tried Tor."

She smiled at me. "And you're right Cat. I'll try harder. So do you keep up with Andre and Robbie?"

"I keep up with Andre….Robbie, not so much."

"Really? I actually ran into Robbie not long ago. He gave me his number and told me to stay in touch. He looks better these days."

I laughed. "Better? Was he not better at first?"

"Oh no…I didn't mean it that way."

"My daughter hangs around his daughter Heaven sometimes, but I don't really talk to him much."

"How come?"

I shrugged. "I really don't know. We just don't talk."

Well I probably couldn't talk to him even if I wanted to anyway with Jade always up my butt! She'll think I'm "cheating."

"Ohh."

We finally finished up our meal that Tori surprisingly paid for before she drove me the few blocks back to my house.

"Well I had fun Cat. We should hang out more."

I nodded. "Yeah we should. Thanks for lunch."

"No problem. See you Cat." She said reaching over and giving me another hug. I buried my face in the crease of her neck.

Vanilla. She smells like Vanilla. It's a nice smell.

"Byeeee!" I said as I pulled back and hoped out of her car and lucky me, Jade hadn't returned home yet because God knows if she had things wouldn't have been pretty.

"Oh wait Cat!"

I turned around to her window. "Yes?"

"I've been meaning to ask…..what happened to your shoulders right there?" She pointed to my shoulders in which I look a glance at them to see finger mark bruises. The ones Jade caused.

"Uhh I uhh, it's nothing Tori. I'll see you!" I said as I turned around and skipped up to my house trying to pretend it was nothing. And hopefully Tori didn't take it as anything either as I heard her car drive off down the street.

That time was very nice…..

[Italy's POV]

"Just relax, are my fingers cold?" The doctor laughed as she pressed around on my stomach pretty roughly. I think that would hurt the baby if you ask me.

"Yes very!" I chuckled as she finally removed her hands and wrote some things down on a clip board.

"So Italy I want to do an ultrasound on you today okay?"

I sat up. "Okay."

"Isn't it kind of early for that?" Jade said as she tilted her head at the doctor.

"I just want to check on a few things. I want to see exactly how far along she is and to makes sure things are going fine. Nothing to be concerned about. If I can have you two step into the room across the hallway for a moment and I'll be back with you shortly." The doctor said as she held open the door for us as we walked right across the hall.

"Just take a seat right up there." She pointed to the small bed like thing that sat in the dimmed room.

Jade didn't say a word as she picked her nails and sat in a chair beside the bed. She seemed a little fidgety to me but Jade can be Jade.

It didn't take long at all for the doctor to return and she asked me a few more questions before turning on the monitor and pushing the bed all the way down so I was flat on my back.

"This will be a little cold." She said as she dropped some clear gel onto my stomach.

She took the monitor handle and started to slide it over my stomach as I looked up at the screen. All I could see was black and white…globs of whatever. I don't even understand how doctors know what they are looking for when they do this. Everything looks the same.

"Hmmm." She said as she stopped over what looked like a little white bean.

"Is that the baby!?" I stated overly excited.

"It is indeed. You said conception should have been around 3 weeks ago?" She said with a lifted brow as she moved around some more.

"Yes."

"Hmmm." She said as she moved her lips to the side and looked at the white bean some more. "This one's about 13 weeks."

"What!?" Jade and I both said in unison as the doctor chuckled.

"13 weeks?" I asked again to confirm as the doctor nodded.

"Seems like conception was long before."

"But how can that be?" I asked. "I'm not even showing. And this happened three weeks ago."

"But she just started showing signs of pregnancy within the last couple of weeks." Jade stated in scared tone.

"Yes every woman is different. Some women start to show signs and symptoms within a few days while others never show any at all. Her showing symptoms within the last couple of weeks is very normal. Also some women don't even show until around the 4th month/17 weeks."

Jade turned to me with evil eyes before turning back to the doctor.

"Let's see if we can hear little baby's heartbeat." The doctor said as she messed around with the monitor and put something cold and around to my stomach.

"You ready?"

I smiled and nodded.

A sound that sounded like a horse galloping could be heard around the room and my heart just melted. My hands went to my face as tears started to pour from my eyes. Its like….wow! I'm going to have a baby! This is my baby, I have a life inside of me! It's just so overwhelming! Sooo… god, it's beautiful!

"Awww are you okay?" The doctor said as a hand went to my back. "It's amazing isn't it?"

I nodded as I wiped the remaining tears from my face.

The doctor said the baby is perfectly healthy and she told me not knowing about being pregnant didn't affect the baby in any way and I was so relieved. She also told me that maybe we can even see the gender of her next time I come in…and man…I'm so excited you don't even know!

The doctor gave me more information, a pregnancy book and a follow up for my next appointment in a couple of weeks before she sent us on our way.

"13 weeks?" Jade asked irately as we finally pulled up at the house. She didn't say anything the whole ride home…so I thought maybe she had forgotten.

I bit my bottom lip as I looked everywhere but her eyes. I felt her hand go to my face and jerk my face to hers. "Look at me!"

I looked at her in her eyes and sighed. "I've been messing around with Kodak for….a while now."

She let go of my face as she sat back and crossed her arms. "I mean….you NEVER used protection!?"

"Yes Jade we always have! I guess….it's broken before."

"And he never told you!?"

I shook my head. "No….he didn't." And that just hit me that he never has told me about this. How can I trust him?

"So he's a liar? Has he been the only guy you've been with?"

I scratched the back of my head. "Ummm about that…"

"Italy!"

"It's only been like…..four..maybe five."

"Five!? Did you use protection with them!?"

I turned away from her as I shook my head. "No."

"Are you crazy! Dude what are you a hoe!? Want me to find you a damn pimp and put you on the corner!? How do you even know the baby is Kodak's!?"

My breath got caught in my throat as hurt flooded from my heart through my body. I unhooked my seat belt and roughly got out of the car with a slam of her door.

"Italy! Baby, I didn't mean-"

I shut her off with the slam of the front door that thankfully was unlocked.

"Jade?" I heard my mother call out as she stepped into the living room from the kitchen. I started to walk to the stairs as she met me half way and grabbing my arm stopping me from going up.

"Baby what's wrong?"

I knew my face was pure red as hot tears fell down my face. How could she call me that? She doesn't care about what others feel about her words.

"Italy calm down."

She turned me to her and embraced me in a tight hug. "Is everything okay with the baby?"

I finally hugged her back and let my chin rest on her shoulder.

"Italy." I heard Jade say as she walked in the door. "Baby I didn't mean it that way okay."

I pulled away from Cat as I stomped up the stairs. I don't want to see her face.

Fuck Jade, who's mom says that type of crap to their child. Okay I did some stupid things! Okay so…Ugh! I knew this baby was Kodak's because I thought I was only 3 weeks and he was the only one I've been with in the past month. But 3 months!? I've been with at least 4 guys and I know I sound like….what Jade said, but…I'm not. Am I?

I laid out on my bed as I started crying to my pillow.

I'm so happy about my baby but at the same time I'm so hurt and this is my fault!

Oh God what am I going to do now!?

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