Chapter 26

I Want Out

[Cat's POV]

Monday Evening

"So what else have you and Tori been doing behind my back?" Jade asked as we pulled up at the house.

Italy stayed at the hospital with Ikenzie to give us a small break to come home and get cleaned.

I knew the conversation would come to surface. She's been holding it all back since we arrived at the hospital on Friday. She's just been waiting for the right moment to get me alone and I have to tell her the truth. I have to tell her now.

I sighed as we got out of the car and made our way into the house before I turned to her.

"Jade….I'm sorry okay."

"What else have you done with her!?"

"Nothing babe. We went shopping a few times and that was it."

I watched as her eyes got wide. "You left this house with her!?"

I nodded as she walked closer to me. "Are you out of your mind!? What are you!? Best friends with her now!? Are you on her side!? Or do you like her!?"

I sighed. "No babe. I don't like her. I'm only in love with you and that's how it's always going to be okay?"

I already knew it was coming and I was on the floor with my hand to my stinging face before I even had the chance to blink.

"Don't feed me that bullshit Cat! What the hell have you and Tori been doing!? Fucking!? I bet you two go upstairs and fuck in OUR bed while I'm at work! Is that right!?"

"NO!" I screamed as I stood to my feet. "Listen Jade! I'm sick of YOUR bullshit! Why can't you just trust me!? I'll never ever cheat on you! EVER! Just believe me! I freaking love you to death! Tori and I are just friends! That's it! I know what she's done to you all those years ago! But just drop it! It's over and done! You can't keep hanging onto that and being pissed at the world! You'll never be happy Jade! Let it go, forgive her and move the hell on! You can't change the past!"

I watched as Jade's face went to a calmer one as she just stared at me. "You don't care do you? Her and Beck shattered my heart and you don't fucking care. You can go shopping with her and be best friends with her behind my back. You don't give two shits about how I feel. I love you Cat. That's all I've ever done was love you. I was always there. I am always there. I can be your friend. You don't need Tori to be friends with. I can be your everything. What have I done wrong?"

I sighed. "Jade…you are my everything. I just…I wanted another friend okay. That's it."

"Well I'll be your friend from now on. Never talk to Tori again. Do you understand me!?"

I didn't say a word as I just looked her over. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm tired Jade. I'm tired of you controlling me. If I want to hang out with Tori, I will hang out with Tori and you aren't going to stop me." I said as my heart rate started to speed up. I've always wanted to say something like this to her but never got the guts and now that I have I'm scared out of my mind.

"Is that right?" She asked as she walked the closes to me that she could get.

I started straight ahead looking right into her chest as I felt her body push into mine. I could feel the hot heat coming from her body as her breath was hot on my head.

I just nodded. That's all I could do as I started to lose control of my own breath.

In one quick motion she reached her hands to my neck and wrapped them around it tight. She's choked me before, but never like this. I couldn't even take the slightest breath. She had my throat closed and it was only a matter of time that I was going to pass out.

I struggled against her trying everything I could to get loose. Scratching, hitting, kicking, nothing was working her grip just got even tighter.

"Where's your best friend now huh? Since Tori's so great why isn't she here to save you now? Huh? Where is precious Tori?"

I felt myself getting weaker as I stopped fighting against her and that's when she let go letting me fall to the floor as I struggled and coughed to catch my breath.

"See Tori isn't shit." She said as she sat on the floor beside me. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to her in a tight loving hug as she gave me kiss after kiss on my forehead. "I'm here for you. I'm your best friend. I'm the only one here for you Cat, can't you see? You can't trust Tori, you can;;t trust anyone, but you can trust me. I love you Cat…I love you."

I couldn't do anything but cry in her arms. And that's how this always ends. With me In her arms crying.

"Do you want some cookies?"

No! No I don't want cookies! I…I want out!

I want out…

[Italy's POV]

I sat beside Ikenzie's hospital bed as I just looked her over and I couldn't stop the small tears that fell from my eyes.

This isn't freaking fair! Ikenzie was doing so much better and now this! It's like her body won't allow her to freaking heal! I'm so mad at that. She doesn't deserve to be laid up in this bed with tubes and crap down her throat and needles stuck all in her arms. No. She's too….nice, sweet. This always happens to the good ones. You never see robbers and serial killers all laid up in these beds in comas. It's not fair.

KNOCK, KNOCK

I turned my attention to the door as I wiped a couple of tears to see an unknown woman standing there with a small teddy bear in hand.

"Hi." She said as she walked in. "I just wanted to check on her. You must be Italy?" She said as she walked over to me and extended her hand. "I'm Tori."

I reached over and took her hand in mine as I gave it a shake before looking her over. "How do you know my name?"

She looked familiar I had to give. I'm sure I've seen her before, but the name throws me off. I have a bad memory. I could spend a whole day with someone and forget them the next day. I know that's horrible.

"Oh I'm a friend of your mother's. She's talked about you." She gave a hear warming smile and I'm for sure I know this chick.

"Have we met before? You look really familiar?"

She smiled as she took a seat on the other side of the bed across from me. "I saw you on Friday just for a few minutes, but I left before we could actually meet." She chuckled before she turned her attention to Ikenzie. She frowned as she looked her over before setting the teddy bear right next to her.

"How's she doing?" She looked to me.

I shrugged. "She's just been laying here. Same."

She nodded. Before turning her glance back at Ikenzie. Man I know this chick she looks like somebody….she looks like…..

"Monica! Is Monica your daughter?"

She nodded as she looked at me. "I'm sure you two go to school together."

"Yeah, she's my sister's friend."

"Are you and Monica friends?"

I shook my head. "Not really. We don't really talk much. I don't know why."

She just nodded. "How's your mother?"

"She's doing okay. She should be back later. Her and Jade went home for a break."

She just nodded. We sat in silence for a little bit before she broke it. "Do your parents get along?"

….random…

"Uh, yeah, for all that I know."

"Nothing wrong in their relationship right? Everything is just cool?" She lifted a brow.

"Yes. Why?"

She shrugged. "Just wondering." She looked down at her watch before she stood up. "Well I have to get going. It was nice meeting you Italy. Have a good night." She smiled as she exited the room.

She seems a little….weird to me…

[Monica's POV]

2 Weeks Later

"Soooooo?"

I laughed as I rolled my eyes and got behind Isis's swing before giving her a hard push.

"There are you happy you big baby!?"

"Yes I am." Isis laughed as I returned to my own swing.

"Come over here." She said as she stopped her swing and patted her lap.

"I pushed you for nothing!?"

She smiled and shrugged. "You got to touch my butt." She winked.

"You're full of it." I chuckled as I got off of my swing and walked over to hers letting my butt fall into her lap.

She swung softly as I let my head rest on her shoulder. "Isis?"

"Yes babe?"

"How long do you think we'll last?"

"Forever."

I chuckled. " Do you really believe that?"

"I do. You don't?"

"No it's not that I don't….it's just…."

"What?" She said as she stopped the swing.

I sighed as I sat up to look her in her eyes. "Would you try to marry me and stuff?"

"Of course." She smiled but I didn't return it. "What's the matter?"

"I just….I never thought of marrying a…girl you know?"

"Well think now."

"Seriously. What would people think of me? What would my family think? My dad already doesn't like the fact that I'm dating a girl, but to marry one?"

"What are you implying Monica?" She asked as her voice turned more firm.

"Nothing. I just…I don't know about marriage. I mean…that's scary to think about."

"So you don't want to ever marry me?"

"No it's not that…it's like….hard to explain."

"So you care about what other people would think about you so much that you are willing to give up what we have and tell me no if I ever asked you to?"

I didn't say anything. It's not that it's just hard to explain what I'm feeling.

"Let me ask you this. If I asked you to marry me right now, what would you say? On a serious note."

I put my head down as I sighed. "I don't know Isis. I know I'm not ready for that, so I'd probably say no. But I'm still in love with you…it's just…..what if it's a phase?"

"What if what's a phase?" She asked now with a hint of fury in her voice.

"Me….being…gay."

She didn't say anything for a minute as she kept her gaze at me with a mad face. "So you're saying it's just a phase and that you'll never marry me, and that we won't last?"

"…Isis."

"I mean that's practically what you're saying to me right now right?"

"Isis…no. I just…I've never been with a guy you know? I love you I really do. I just need….to explore more. I want to see what it's like to be with a guy. You had your chance. I want mine. Maybe I don't like them. I just…want to see."

"So you are dumping me?"

"NO! Noooo I'm just saying I want to explore more."

"So you want to go fuck some guys and then come back to be mine?"

"You're making it sound bad. That's not how I'm trying to do things."

I watched as she flared her nose before pushing me off of her and her standing up. "Fine, whatever. Go ahead and explore. Whatever." She said as she stuck her hands in her pockets and started to walk away.

"Isis! No wait! You are taking things the wrong way!"

"No, no I'm not! I got you loud and clear Monica! Why waste my time with someone like you if you're never going to marry me, be my wife, be the mother of my kids, and so on!?"

"I can be Isis!"

"You can be? What if you go out and "explore" and actually find out that you like guys more than you like girls, more than you like me? Then what Monica?"

I stood there in silence as tears came to my eyes.

"Exactly. Bye."

"Baby!"

"Don't call me that! I'm not your girlfriend anymore!" She said as she stormed away.

God what have I done!?

[Beck's & Tori's Text]

Tori: Beck?

Beck: Yes babe?

Tori: Where are you?

Beck: I'm at the library. I needed some quiet space.

Tori:….Are you really at the library?

Beck: Yes? Where else would I be?

Tori: It's just….you've been working late and being at the library a whole lot lately….

Beck: Yeah it's for work.

Tori: What did that Laura Ross girl say?

Beck: She still hasn't giving me a deal that I can agree with, but we are still working on it.

Tori: How long does it take? What kind of deals is she offering that you won't take!?

Beck: It's complicated babe. You won't understand.

Tori: I'm tired of you being out so late. Just come home okay? Do your work in your office.

Beck: Oh, I'm sorry babe. I didn't know it was bothering you. I'll come home right now.

Tori: Thank you. I love you.

Beck: I love you too.

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