A/N: BTW my story is unbeta'd, so all mistake are my own!

Chapter Five: Noah's Story

Hear me
Hear me

Noah cried until there was no tears left to cry. It took roughly 20 minutes in all to finally settle down, but for the former badass and probably for Hummel as well, it felt like hours. If anyone were to walk in on the resident 'stud' being practically cradled by the town fairy, his reputation would plummet. As it was, Noah simply didn't care about his status at the moment, nor did he see the countertenor as the 'evil gay converting molester' that he had been dubbed by the town. No, Kurt was simply his best friend's little older brother who was willing to listen to him, truly hear him. And considering he had hit rock bottom, he had nothing to lose by baring his soul to the boy. He knew he could kept a secret, he kept Karosky's for over a year.

So with that thought, Noah untangled himself from Kurt and immediately let out an undignified whine at the lose of heat. well that was fucking embarrassing. But Kurt either didn't notice or thankfully, didn't mention it. Instead the pale boy reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a bottle of fresh water, which Noah took grateful and gave a pitiful 'thanks'.

"Do you want to talk to me?" Kurt asked, so quietly that it could have been a whisper. Noah lifted his head and locked his gaze on the young boys blue eyes. or were they green? The muscled man was expecting to find pity and disgust in them, but instead found what looked like compassion and hope?

"What do you wanna know?" Noah replied in a hoarse and rough voice. He knew he sounded weak and pathetic, and in fairness, that's how he felt. Kurt obviously picked up on his feelings and grabbed Noah's hand and squeezed it. Usually, if the older boy was in his right frame of mind, he probably would have punched Kurt for being so touchy-feely but at this present time, Noah welcomed the contact. He had been so long since anyone touched him with the intention to comfort.

"Start from the beginning, tell me what happened for you to get here" the pale boy supplied with a soft smile. They were sitting in a darkening room, in the middle of a bare floor with their thighs touching as they sat next to each other. Noah didn't mind talking about all this shit, god, if anyone was willing to finally listen to him and pay him attention, then he would greedily take the opportunity. It was infact, Kurt's gaze that made him uncomfortable, not in a bad way, but in a 'knot in the stomach, hard to concentrate' kind of way.

"Ok, but can could we possibly… erm, turn around so we are back to back. No offence dude, but it'll be easier if I wasn't looking at you while I rehash all my demons" Noah asked, he felt it was a pretty reasonable request and obviously so had Kurt because the countertenor nodded and shuffled around so his slender back his pressed against Noah's broad one.

"Don't call me dude, Noah" he heard his voice say, but it sounded like his was smiling so Noah presumed he didn't mean it so much. But for as long as Kurt kept calling him Noah then Noah will continue calling Kurt, dude.

"Don't call me Noah, princess" he felt rather then saw Kurt's eye roll and it caused the tiniest muscle of his mouth to twitch into a smile. It's not that Noah hated his name or was being immature about not letting Kurt use it. But Kurt didn't know 'Noah' the pale boy only knew 'Puck' and the two were very different. After his story, Kurt would be able to call him his proper name, but not until then. Best get started then.

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting

"I've always lived in Lima, always lived in this house actually and I grew up like any other kid really. Two lovely parents, or so I thought, two best friends and a baby sister" Noah let out a deep breath, that was the easy part, it all goes down hill from here. "But the birth of Sarah changed our families dynamics, ya know? My Ma and old man became a lot more stressed and began arguing, like a lot. They had no time for me anymore and they didn't even have much time for Sarah. Whilst they used to argue with each other, which could be any hour of any day, I was the one who would comfort my baby sister when she cried through it" Noah turned his head slightly and saw a pale hand laying on the floor next to him and without thinking, he grabbed it and laced his fingers in between the pale digits. It was a move simply for comfort, to remind himself he wasn't alone while telling the story, and to Kurt's credit, he didn't detach himself, he actually shifted his fingers so they embraced more comfortably.

'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

"Then when Sarah was about 3 years old and I was eight, the arguments turned physical and really fucking scary. Me and my sis used to find under my bed during those fights and I used to have to cradle her crying, shaking body while trying to keep my tears silent. If I had broke down while comforting my little sister, then I wasn't strong enough to care for her, ya know?" Noah turned his head again, this time to look over at his bed, that exact bed was were them nights with Sarah took place. Kurt must have picked up on it as well since his head turned to look at it too.

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me

"Then my old man left, no warning, nothing. I was in my usual place with Sarah during yet another argument when I heard the front door slam. I panicked then, like he had never left the house halfway through an argument before, so I jumped out from under the bed and ran to my bedroom window to see him walking down the road. Without thinking of what and why I was doing it, I found myself dashing out my room and down the stairs to the front door. I must have sensed that if I didn't go after him then, that I would never see him again" Noah paused for a moment to keep his emotions in check, he had cried too much already and needed to continue. "so I ignored my mothers protest not to follow him and ran out the house and chased after him, but by the time I got down our road, he was gone. I remember shouting for him, begging for him to come back and thinking 'why don't you love us no more' but he never returned. It was raining that night and in the middle of December and I was fucking freezing, in only my pyjama's. but I didn't care, I just stayed at the corner of the street, screaming for him. In the end I never knew if my face was more wet from the rain or the tears"

I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me

"I grieved the lose of my father for about a month. I didn't leave my room, not to go to school or even to see Santana or Finn, I just existed in this room. It became my cocoon, my shelter. My Ma didn't mind at first, guess she was pretty fucked up from it as well. But after a month I remember her coming into my room and telling me we need to stop mourning him. She never hugged me or asked if I was alright, she just told me that she needed to go back to work and I was now the man of the house. So that's what I became. I went to school in the day, stayed the normal kid while there with Sans and Finn, then I would come home and look after my sister until my mother came home. She took on two jobs, so she was gone by the time we woke up and didn't return until after we went to bed. So I kinda became Sarah's sole provider and it stayed like that until I was about twelve"

Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me

"Then Finn had this crazy idea in his head about a summer football camp in Westerville and he wanted us to go. I had no interest in football at all, still don't really, but it was a way to get out of the house for a while. So me, Finn and Carole begged my mum for the chance to go, with the promise that Finns mother would help looking after Sarah while I was away and finally my Ma agreed. I was so happy and excited to be going away for the summer, football camp or not" Noah stopped to let a small smile pass his lips at the memory of feeling like he had escaped, as awful as it sounded. Kurt remained silent apart from his soft breathing, Noah would have thought the small boy was asleep if it wasn't for the fact that Kurt was actually stroking his thumb across the bigger mans hand. Gay!

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own

"While at camp, I met this dude called Jamie, he was about 15 and became a mentor of some sorts really. He had so many friends and a really pretty girlfriend and I hero worshipped him, ya know? I asked him how he became so loved by everyone and he told me it was because he was 'badass'. obviously being 12 and a recluse in my house throughout the years, the thought of being a badass and being popular and loved was appealing to say the least. So I asked him to teach me the ways of the badass" at that, Noah heard Kurt let out a little chuckle, probably accompanied with his classic eye roll. "he said Noah wasn't a badass name and so he named me Puck from my surname. He told me to stick up for myself and let people know not to fuck with me and date a lot of girls and I just simply lapped up his advice. And that's how 'Puck the badass' was born, he was my way of escaping reality. When I left camp, I returned home, entered middle school with Santana as my girlfriend and joined the football team. It earned me instant popularity and after a while I lost Noah along the way, I forgot Puck was just an act to get by, I became Puck full time"

No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

"So by the time I got to high school, I instantly became top dog, along with Finn. Finn got Quinn as he's girlfriend and I tried to keep Santana but she made new friends and started feeling shit for other people, so I was left to pick up other girls to fill Santana's void. I didn't love the girl, but she was my closest friend and vital to my Puck image, cause lets face it, Santana herself is pretty badass" He heard Kurt agree with an amused hum. "then I realised sex wasn't just good with only Santana, but every girl, maybe not as good as Santana, but good none the less. So I kinda became a man whore, and I was proud of the fact that all the girls dropped their panties for me, made me feel needed, desired. Thus 'Puck the Sex Shark' was born"

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me

"And then along came this Kid, he was small and skinny and pale as fuck and he made me feel shit about myself. He never even had to speak to me for him to do it, he just walked around the school like he was fucking superior and better than everyone else. Turned out, the kid had an amazing singing voice and was planning to use it to get him out of this cow town. I was young and immature but I felt he was rubbing it in our faces that we were Lima losers and he was better then us. And he was, he had higher dreams than us and talent and ability to make it a reality. So me and the others became jealous, so we started picking on him, you know, pee balloons and dumpster dives and such. Thus 'Puck the bully' was born. Turns out the kid was gay or something and that was the main reason the others tore him down, I personally didn't give a shit about that, I was acting out of pure jealous and I'm sorry for that"

"I forgive you" Kurt's small voice came from behind him. Fuck, that felt good to finally throw all that out there and for him to genuinely forgive me.

I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

"Then I lost Finn to the Glee club and me and Quinn felt left out of his life, so we decided to chill together. She was pretty amazing actually, she spent time with me and encouraged me to try bring Noah out again, obviously only in her presence. She made me feel special and I fell in love with her. So one day we were drunk on coolers and she was moaning that she was fat or some shit and I tried to convince her that she wasn't, but she wouldn't listen to me. So I did the only thing I could to make her feel better and beautiful again. Afterwards she said it was a mistake and she didn't want to be near me again and that made me feel like shit. I was only trying to let her know she was gorgeous and loved and she flipped because of it"

I'm restless and wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you hear me?

"So I silently pined over her, she was my first love after all, but she was my best friends girl and I felt like shit, so I decided to move on. I almost succeeded til she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant with Beth. I was so fucking happy, I would get Quinn back and have a baby and be able to rectify all my father's mistakes. But Quinn wasn't so keen, she kept telling me she never loved me and the baby was a mistake, but I still tried cling on desperately. But in the end, I couldn't keep them, they didn't want me and they both left and it killed me, like it physically hurt" Noah knew he was crying now, but he simply didn't give a fuck, Kurt wasn't judging him yet so he continued to weep and tell his tale.

I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I've fought
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?

"throughout the summer after that, I became a recluse for a second time. Once again, this room became my grieving chamber. Luckily Sarah had become best friends with the neighbours by then so I wasn't looking after her too much. I still hardly saw my Ma, when she returned from work, she was already drunk and when we did catch each other, she had no problem telling me I was a disgrace for A. getting Quinn pregnant and B. not being man enough to keep them. No better then my father she would say and she's right." Noah felt Kurt tense at this, obviously wanting to disagree but stay silent so Noah could continue. The tensing in disagreement and the continued silence were both appreciated by Noah, probably more then Kurt knew himself.

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me

"So Junior year came around and nobody noticed me, everyone comforted Quinn, like she was the only one to lose a child. I lost her too, and I was the one who wanted her, yet no-one cared apart from Santana, I had already lost Finn, which was only adding to the pain. So one day I had enough and I channelled my pain into anger, usually I would have taken it out on you, but by then I had got to know you and decided you were pretty decent, despite your 'cold princess' act. Plus your dad was ill and you were Finn's brother so instead I got drunk off my face and drove my mums car into a convenient store and apparently tried to drive off with the ATM. But I don't remember, that night was an angry drunken blur"

I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

"In Juvie, I learnt that I was nowhere near as badass as I originally thought. I was attacked, I was scared and alone, I was pretty much like how you were before you went to that gay school. No one visited me while I was away, expect Santana once. My Ma got more drunk and Sarah didn't even know where I was until after I came out. She thought I had gone back to camp. When I returned to school, nobody even noticed or cared, I pretty much had to force myself on Artie for someone to hang out with and that didn't last long. Then Lauren Zizes helped me out and noticed me, kinda, so I stuck to her and tried to make her love me but she didn't. I tried so hard to keep her and she left as well"

Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?

"Then just when I was down and out, a miracle happened, Beth came home with Shelby, I was so fucking happy man, yeah my life was falling down around me faster then I could keep up, but my angel had returned. So I spent all my free time at Shelby's just to be with Beth and Shelby ended up being pretty cool, she told me my fuck ups in life didn't mean I couldn't be a good Dad and everything. Then I got it into my thick head that me, Beth and Shelby could be a family together and I quickly fell in love with her. After we slept together, I figured she loved me too, but she freaked out like Quinn. I tried really really hard to keep them both but after the trouble tones got disbanded, Shelby and Beth left to go back to New York, leaving me alone. I was fucking heart broken again" Finishing his pathetic story, Noah picked up the courage to finally turn around to face Kurt. For some reason, he expected the pale boy to be laughing or at least eye rolling, so to find him with tears in those beautiful eyes (yes that sounds pretty gay, but Kurt does have the most beautiful multi coloured eyes, only a fool would deny it) he was pleasantly surprised.

Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?

"So that how I ended up here, broken hearted and alone. Worthless and replaceable." he murmured once he was finally able to drop his gaze from the boy.

"Can I ask you a favour" Kurt asked, his voice thick and hoarse, probably due to his tears and lack of use. After Noah nodded, Kurt continued "Would you come back and stay at mine and Finn's tonight? It's not that I don't trust you here alone but I would really like to get to know you more and I need to go home. Sarah's next door so you should be free and don't worry, I won't try rape you in your sleep, you can camp on the couch or in Finn's room. My parents are in DC for the month so we will have the place free to kick back and relax"

Noah knew the real reason why Kurt was asking him, he even saw his eyes quickly flicker towards the vodka and pills. Kurt was scared of what the muscular boy might do once alone, hell Noah himself was scared of what he might do if left unattended.

"Kurt, can you heal me?" Noah whispered. It sounded not only pathetic and desperate, but also weird to use the boys real name. but right now he didn't care.

"I think I can Noah, I'm definitely going to try" Kurt smiled in return. That smile made a painful knot twist in his stomach, but it wasn't a bad pain, just an unexplainable one.

"Lead the way princess" Noah half joked, trying to defuse the awkwardness, considering they were spending the night together. Well not in that way and not even in the same room because of Kurt's hang ups about make straight boys feel uncomfortable and making them think that Kurt would rape them. ahh Kurt, if you tried jump my bones right now, it would definitely not be rape.. Wait, what?

LAST UPDATE THIS WEEKEND! please review x