Chapter VIII: Poppy's Wisdom
Poppy looked to Severus and Remus when she had, once again, finished her diagnostic charms over Harry.
"He's still hanging on Gentlemen. There's been some, slight improvement in his magicks but not enough for him to hold his own yet. All I can say is we must continue on as we have been. I'm not sure for how much longer, but the fact that he's held on for this long, in this state, has to be a good sign. We mustn't give up on him now, as he has obviously not."
"Don't worry Poppy," Severus took it upon himself to answer for both Remus and himself. "We shall never give up on him."
She nodded to both men then returned to her office. If there was no sign of change in the next couple of hours, she would retire for the night.
Severus resumed his place sitting beside Harry and holding his hand while Remus sat on the other side, pulling his Cub into his arms. He kissed Harry's head.
"We love you Cub. We're not giving up on you without a fight, do you hear me?"
Severus silently watched Harry's face closely. He would find his way back, Severus was suddenly sure of it; he had to believe it! Severus pulled Harry's hand to his lips, closed his eyes and kissed Harry's fingers.
"Please Dearest," He pleaded, barely above a whisper. "Don't leave me."
~oo0oo~
Severus' eyes snapped open when he felt Harry's hand twitch. He looked into Harry's face and saw tears running out from under the closed lids. Severus jumped to his feet.
"Remus!" Taking Harry's face in his hands, Severus turned his head so that Remus, who was spooned to Harry's back, could see the tears.
"Hey there Cub, can you hear us? We're here for you Harry, come on back to us."
"You can do this Dearest." Severus kissed Harry's tears away. "Just open your eyes!"
In answer to an alarm spell, Poppy rushed out of her office just in time to see a sudden burst of magic. Brilliant white light surrounded Harry and filled the room. The magical surge was strong - so strong that it threw both Severus and Remus across the room. Poppy's alarms continued to sound as her life support charms were thrown off. She dashed to Harry's side and frantically began running more diagnostics. By the time Severus and Remus were back on their feet, Poppy was smiling down into Harry's bright emerald eyes. She somehow managed to choke back her own tears.
"Welcome back, young man!"
Harry just blinked at her in confusion. Before he could speak, Remus was there with a glass of water. After a cooling drink, down his parched throat, Harry was able to whisper.
"Hey Moony." He was pulled into his Godfather's strong arms.
"Oh! You're finally awake Cub, thank Merlin!" Harry's only response, as Remus held him, rocked him and rubbed his back, was to bury his face in Remus' neck and breathe in the familiar wild scent. "I love you so much Harry. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have you back with us!"
"How long?" Harry's voice was soft and fearful, as though he thought he was still dreaming.
"Since you woke last, it's been over four weeks. It's almost six weeks since the final battle."
"I was awake before?" This time Harry's voice was filled with confusion. He had no memory of anything past the furious battle, and Voldemort's last curse.
"Yes Cub, you woke for a couple of hours about two weeks after the battle." Remus pulled Harry closer and kissed his head again. "Don't worry, it matters not. All that matters now is that you're awake."
"What's the last thing you remember?" Poppy asked as she ineffectively tried to pull Remus off her patient, but the anxious werewolf wasn't letting go.
"I remember Voldemort … he … oh, no! …I survived another killing curse? Please tell me they're not calling me 'the boy who lived again'?" Remus chuckled,
and finally loosened his hold on his Godson, for Poppy's further examination.
"That's not important right now Cub. You're alive and awake!" Harry made no response, so Poppy stepped in.
"How are you feeling Harry?" He turned his head enough to blink at her.
"I'm fine, just a bit tired. May I leave now?" Poppy couldn't help laughing; some things never changed.
"You certainly may not! You're physically and magically exhausted."
"Oh."
"Yes, 'oh'. You'll be here for a while yet. But fear not Harry, you'll have plenty of visitors to keep you from being bored. Not to mention all the class work you'll need to catch up on."
"Gee, I can't wait to miss that." This was met with even more laughter.
"You cheeky little monkey! Are you up to eating?" Harry just shook his head. "Okay, we'll let this go for tonight and worry about getting you onto solids in the morning." Harry nodded, he was already feeling weary.
"Sleep is what you need now. Nothing will restore your health like plenty of rest." She tucked him in snugly as she spoke. "Would you like some Dreamless Sleep? I could have Severus fetch some for you."
Harry's eyes snapped open and he noticed Severus for the first time. He shook his head at Poppy, but never took his eyes off the Potions Master.
"All right Harry. We have some work ahead of us; you and I, so get some rest. You'll need all the energy you can get."
With that she went back to her office. Harry just nodded absently, still staring at the silent man at the foot of his bed. He said nothing for a few minutes, and then snuggled closer to Remus, who rubbed Harry's back in smooth circles.
"Don't fight it Cub. Let sleep take you, you're safe now."
"Don't leave?" Once again Harry's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Of course not Harry, I'm here for you."
Neither Remus nor Severus moved or made a sound as Harry slowly drifted off to sleep. They could both breathe easier now that Harry was clearly on the (long) road to recovery.
Dobby suddenly popped in, as was his habit and without a word, crawled up onto the bed. He took his now customary place on Harry's pillow, then after a few minutes of his usual ministrations, he moved away. Instead of leaving, as he would normally do, he moved to the foot of the bed and curled up to sleep. He would be here for his wizard when he woke up next so that he would know his elf was there for him.
When Harry had been asleep for some time, Severus bade 'Goodnight' to Remus and left with his usual quiet grace. He tried not to think on the fact that Harry was clearly uncomfortable in his presence. In spite of that, Severus had the best night's sleep he'd had since before the war.
~oo0oo~
Draco arrived first thing in the morning and was overjoyed beyond words to find Harry awake and sitting up in bed. His best friend was talking quietly to Remus, who had been filling him in on the happenings of the past few weeks – both the good and the bad. Hedwig, the ever faithful, was sat on Harry's knee, cooing softly as he gently stroked her plumage.
"Baby!" Draco flew across the room.
At Draco's exclamation, Harry had barely enough time to look up and smile before he was tackled by the over exuberant 'Lord Malfoy'. He pulled Harry into a tight hug and held on for dear life, as Hedwig fluttered away indignantly.
"Ah, Draco … breathing … required much!" Harry's voice was quiet and slightly horse from lack of use, but it was music to Draco's ears.
"I'm sorry Baby." Draco pulled away enough to give Harry a kiss and then pulled him back into another – much gentler – hug. "I'm just so thrilled that you're actually awake!"
Harry made no answer and Draco, at this point, was too excited to notice. He took Harry's face in his hands and looked him in the eye.
"I love you Baby. You gave us such a scare! I … we were so afraid you'd given up and …" He choked, unable to finish that frightful sentiment.
"I'm sorry Draco … I …"
"Don't apologize; it's over, you're here now and that's the important thing." He hugged his Baby once more, then sat back and just looked at him with a rather undignified and foolish grin on his face.
"How are you Draco? Your parents …"
"I'm doing all right, really. I'm fairly busy getting everything in order as the new Malfoy Lord, but they truly left me a long time ago. They were great parents when I was younger, but in recent years, not so much. I loved them, Harry, I really did, but I will be fine."
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you Draco."
"You're here now, okay? That's what counts. We've got a long way to go to recover from the Dark Lord's legacy, but we'll do it together now."
Remus, who had been quietly observing until now, spoke up.
"He's right Cub. It can only get better from here." Harry responded with a gentle smile and the subject moved on.
~oo0oo~
The day continued in much the same manner. Everyone was delighted to have Harry back. They held him and wept. They hugged and kissed him and they touched him and were unable to look away for fear of losing him again.
There was much sadness as well, as Harry learned of Ginny's untimely fate and further fatalities. Although these losses were new to Harry, the others had begun to cope with them and Harry's return provided a much needed salve and allowed for the true healing to begin.
Although word spread among family and friends, who rushed to see him, they were otherwise able to keep Harry's recovery from the public. There would be time enough for all of that. Right now was for family.
If Harry was quiet and a bit withdrawn, they all put it down to the long struggle he'd been waging and the resulting mental exhaustion. They had faith in him, as always, and that this too would pass.
So also was the absence of Severus Snape noticed, but not spoken of. He was to be teaching after all, and would no doubt be by when classes let out. If not, whatever was going on between him and Harry was for the two of them to sort through together. Out of respect for them both, no one would interfere or question the current condition of their relationship.
After accommodating everyone throughout the day, Poppy finally drew the line at dinner time. She was as thrilled as the rest of them, so she'd indulged them as long as she saw fit. Harry, nevertheless, needed to rest and eat in the peace and quiet. She would allow them return, she informed them, if they promise to be a bit more restrained and to resume to attending to Harry in pairs.
Nor had Harry's behaviour gone unnoticed by the ever vigilant Mediwitch. So, after everyone had gone and Harry had eaten, and then rested a bit, Poppy approached him. Uncharacteristically, she sat on the bed and took Harry's hand. She looked into his grief-stricken eyes and spoke softly.
"Do you want to talk about it?" When Harry shook his head and looked away, she could see him closing himself off.
"Come now young man." She would not allow him to continue to withdraw. "You are alive! You will recover from this terrible, terrible thing that took over your life for so many years. Don't you agree that now you may learn to live?"
"No! I do not." If she hadn't known how close he had come to giving up completely, Poppy may have been surprised by Harry's bitter tone. As it was, she knew perfectly well that his struggle was, in fact, far from over simply because he was now awake and coherent.
"I know it's been difficult for you Harry but you have a future now, you …"
"No." He interrupted. "I'm only here because Sirius sent me back! What do I have to live for, now that my obligation is realized?"
"Harry. The Weasleys have all but legally adopted you. You are a son and brother to them: A 'Seventh Son', I might add, which goes a long way to explaining your uncanny good luck. They love and need you Harry. You're their youngest, now that they've lost their only girl."
"That's down to them, not me. They are all good, kind-hearted and generous people. They would take in a stray hippogriff if it was in need."
"Hermione and Ronald are your other two- thirds. There's no 'Golden Trio' without you."
"I know they love me, as I do them, but they're in love with each other; there's no place for me there now."
"What about Draco Malfoy, he was brought up to become 'The Lord Malfoy'. He was taught to be spoiled and self-centred. He cared for nothing outside his own skin and family. You've changed all that, you've changed him. You are so wrapped around his heart that he would die for you."
"He calls me 'Baby'." At this Harry allowed himself a small smile. "But, as you said, he loves family. He's always wanted to be a big brother. I'm barely two months younger than he is, but as I'm small enough to fit under his chin, I fit the part of 'Baby Brother'. He just wants a little thing to take care of. When he has children of his own, I'll be nothing."
"Harry please. Don't sell yourself so short. You are beautiful and incredible and you bring out the best in all those who are graced with your presence. You inspire such devotion Harry, even from your owl and house elf."
"Dobby is a free elf, I don't own him."
"Maybe not, but he owns you. House elves are loyal by nature, but I don't think any of us has ever seen anything like this type of devotion from and elf before. His treatment of you is special Harry; and it's all for you, because of you. This is what you do to the lives you touch. Albus and Minerva – you're like a grandson to them, you're so dear to their hearts.
"Remus Lupin. Merlin's ghost Harry; you are his life! He dragged his tortured and exhausted body in here on the morning after a full moon – with no Wolfsbane – because his Cub needed him and he has barely left your side since. What about the Wizarding World …?"
"I don't want to talk about that. They don't even know me; they want 'The Boy Who Lived'."
"Fine. Then let's talk about me? I have administered Hogwarts sick and injured for many, many a year. I have cared for every one of my charges with a gentle hand and professional manner. Yet in all this time I have only ever taken one other child into my heart as I have you. I have never wept over anyone's fate as I have yours and I have never loved a student as I have you."
Harry just stared at her, in wide-eyed astonishment.
"No … you can't … no one can love me. I'm just Harry. I'm … nothing. I'm an abomination even in the Wizarding World. There's nothing to love …"
"That's your Aunt and Uncle talking – no one else would ever speak such things about you. 'Just Harry' you may be, but those who know you are amazed by your goodness and resilience. You give people courage when they see it in you. You inspire them to be good and strong when they see you struggle to pull yourself over each and every obstacle you meet. If you fail, you take it into yourself and learn from it, and teach others to do the same. You – 'Just Harry' – are extra-ordinary!"
"But, that can't be true … my Aunt and Uncle … they know the real me … I lived with them … they know I'm not worth … they"
"They lied to you Harry. They were afraid, and petty, and jealous, and they did everything they could to destroy you. But who you are would not be quieted. You survived and now you have everything to live for. All you have ever wanted is within your grasp.
"Listen to me Little One ..."
'When did everyone start calling me that?' Harry couldn't help but wonder.
"… Listen to me closely and believe. You have a Family in the Weasleys. You have Grandparents in Albus and Minerva: the most incredible – if somewhat over protective – big brother in Draco. You have a Godfather in Remus. He will never replace Sirius, nor does he wish to, but you're everything that's left of Sirius and your parents: You're his Cub!"
By now Harry was so overcome by her honest compassion and her heartfelt words, that he could not stop the tears that fell, nor did he try.
"I have seen them all Harry. In the weeks that you've been lying here struggling to find a reason to go on – they were all here: your very reasons to go on. Except for that one disastrous mishap, there has never been a moment when you've been alone, or even with any less than two people by your side. They are your reasons Harry. Not because you're 'The Saviour', or any of those other titles that have been thrust upon you, but because you are 'Just Harry' and we – each and every one of us – adore you for exactly that!"
Harry studied her for a long time in silence. When he finally found his voice, his words were soft and tentative.
"You've given me so much to think about. I can't tell you how much I appreciate everything you've said to me, but I think I need some time alone if you please, to figure it all out. I promise, I'll take your every word to heart."
"That's my Lad!" As Poppy got to her feet, she gave him a gentle smile and squeezed his hand. She placed a privacy charm around his bed (with a 'no visitors' sign) and left him to his quiet contemplations.
~oo0oo~
Those who had come to visit during Poppy and Harry's conversation, ended up staying to listen in, unable to pull themselves away from such a moment of true wisdom and kindness. They went away quietly, their hearts a little lighter in the hopes that the Matron's words would be absorbed and understood by their loved one and that he would truly return to them, in heart and spirit.
One Severus Snape, however, whom no one had noticed (thanks to years of spying) felt his heart grow heavier. All reference to him had been completely omitted by the Mediwitch.
He slipped away, equally unobserved.
~oo0oo~
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Potterverse! I'm just playing in Jo's sandbox!
~oo0oo~