This is the last chapter to this story. There will be a sequel up to finish it off soon.
Chapter 38
I Love You & I'm Sorry
[Cat's POV]
I woke up to a bright sun shining into my eyes and my body feeling so amazing before wiping my eyes and sitting up. I looked around the room that it doesn't belong to me before looking down and noticing that all my clothes are missing before my eyes became wide. "Oh my god!"
I started to panic as I removed myself from the empty bed and started gathering my clothes and putting them back on.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god Cat what have you done!?" I stated to myself as I felt my body start to shiver and my eyes start to fill with tears.
"Cat? Hey are you up?" I heard Tori say as she walked into the room.
"Tori! How could you!?" I yelled as tears fell from my eyes as I slipped on my pants.
"…what?"
"Tori! Why, why did you do that to me!?"
Tori looked at me with a bewildered expression. "You let me Cat! You didn't tell me to stop! I thought it was okay!"
"Tori! You knew that wasn't okay!"
"You never told me to stop! If you had of told me to stop I wouldn't have done it Cat! I did it for you!"
"Oh nooo! Nooooo! I…..oh my god I cheated on her! Nooooooo!" I said as I started to cry harder.
Oh my god I'm in so much trouble!
"You don't have to tell her Cat…"
"Are you fucking out of your mind Tori!? I don't know what you do behind Beck's back all of the time but I'm not a cheater! I have to tell her! Oh my god why did I let you do that to me!? Tori why would you even think of doing that to me!?"
"You said you were done with Jade! That means you had broken up with her! I just wanted to do something special for you Cat! You didn't cheat on her!"
"Yes I did! We didn't tell each other that we were officially done yet! I just came to you because I had nowhere else to go! That didn't mean to have sex with me Tori! You are my best friend Tori, not my wife! Why would you do that!? Ughh! Goddd!"
"You should have told me to stop!"
"I can't do this." I said as I ran over to the guest room I was staying in and grabbed my bag of things before running down the stairs with Tori on my hills.
"So what are you about to do? Go run back to her!? Cat you are so dang stupid! You finally got the balls to leave her and now you're running back! All she's going to do is hurt you again!"
I didn't say anything as I ran out to my car. Tori's half right…but what if she doesn't? What if this whole little thing about me leaving made her open her eyes or something? She told me she's getting help and maybe she actually did this time.
Ughhhhhhh I can't believe I did this.
I unlocked my doors and threw my stuff inside before starting it up with Tori banging on my window.
"What Tori!"
"Cat stay! Please stay! Don't let her win! Don't let her hurt you again!"
"Tori you hurt me! Now I have to go home and tell my WIFE that I just slept with the bitch who stole her boyfriend in high school!" I yelled out as Tori's face went plain and she took some steps back.
I put my car in reverse and sped from her driveway and to my house with my eyes full of tears and my heart full of regret.
I have to go in here and break her heart. I can't do this. I can't tell her. Maybe I can keep it a secret. No…no Cat you can't lie, you aren't a liar! Just tell her the truth maybe she'll understand…..ughhhhhhhhhh Cat whyyy did you do this! Oh my god whyyy!?
I finally made it home to see Jade's car in the driveway and my heart sunk even more. I didn't actually think she'd be home.
I have to tell her this now.
I burst through the door of my house that wasn't surprisingly unlocked.
"Jade!" I called out as I ran to the kitchen and then back to the living room.
"Babe." I heard her voice from upstairs and quickly made a sprint up the stairs to see her walking from our room.
"Jade! Baby…Oh god…" I cried as I embraced her into a hug in which she hugged me back just as tight.
"Cat, I'm so sorry! Baby please forgive me." Jade said as she held onto me tight.
I pulled out of her hug as I looked into her eyes which were full of sorrow and regret and then I broke down even more.
"Cat…baby what's wrong?" Jade said as she held onto my face. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you. Please don't cry anymore." She said as she started to wipe my tears.
"Jade….Jadeeee, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" I cried in a whisper before capturing her lips to mine in which she kissed back but pulled back first. "No Cat, you have nothing to be sorry about. Everything was my fault, you didn't do anything wrong."
I just cried and cried as I put my hands to her shirt and scrunched it up as I put my face to her chest and cried harder than I ever have in my entire life.
"Cat stop it. What is the matter with you?" Jade said as she gently grabbed my wrists and pulled me from her slightly so she could look me in my eyes.
I just shook my head and cried more as I put my head down.
" Baby I'm getting help, I swear I'm getting help. Andre got me a psychiatrist and I have an appointment first thing Monday morning. I've already spoken to a local counselor who said she could help me as well. Baby, I'm so sorry. Everything will be the way it should be soon. I'm going to-"
"-I slept with Tori." I cried out as I broke free from her soft grip on my wrist and put my hands over my face. "I'm so sorry." I whispered with my heart pounding with so much hurt I felt as if I were going to drop dead any moment.
Everything on Jade's end was silent as I kept crying. I was too scared to even remove my hands from my eyes. I don't want to see her. I can't believe I've done this to her. I'm the only person she could trust; the only person who truly loves her and would never lie to her. I'm the only person she could count on to see that the world isn't all bad and that out of all the people who hurt her and betrayed her that there's still someone that could hold her at night and kiss her and love her and tell her that everything will be okay. I'm that someone that wasn't ever supposed to break her heart. But I did. Oh god I did.
I peeked through one of my hands to see her just standing there with no expression. She wasn't looking at me, but passed me. I could tell her mind was gone elsewhere.
"J…Jade." I said and that's when she snapped her eyes at me. They were full of anger as her face turned red and her hands balled into fist.
She pushed me out of her way before she sprinted down the stairs, grabbed her keys and exited the house with a slam of the door so hard it knocked several things down and over.
I just dropped to the floor and cried more. That's all my brain and heart would allow me to do.
[Jade's POV]
"I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her!" I screamed loud as I smacked my stirring wheel.
Running through red lights I didn't give a fuck bout rules and shit, she's gonna die.
"UAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Hot burning tears streamed down my face as I huffed and puffed and sped all the way to the bitch's house.
I can't think. I don't want to think. I want to kill. Fuck this world!
I sped up to her house to see her walking to her car with hurt written all over her own face.
I jumped from my car and started to stomp up her driveway and once she spotted me she dropped her keys and started to run for it.
"NO!" I screamed as I started to run and quickly caught up to her slow ass before pinning her against her neighbor's car.
"Jade….Jade please…I'm...I'm so sorry…I just..."
"-SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP!" I screamed as I smacked her hard.
I didn't think. I didn't have time to think. I didn't stall. I don't feel like stalling. I grabbed a fist full of her hair, turned her around and banged her head as hard as I could against the window of the car causing it to break and her to fall through cutting open her face and her head and that's how I left her as I heard on-lookers scream and people yelling out to call 911.
I stomped back to my car with my own hand and arm bloody from the window and from her before I yanked open my door, hopped in, and floored off.
It wasn't long at all that I was back at my house speeding into the driveway and hitting Cat's car in the process.
"Fuck it!" I screamed as I jumped from my car and ran back into the house.
I could still hear her crying and my insides started to boil.
"Fucking liar! YOU FUCKING LIAR!" I yelled as I sprinted up the stairs to her. I grabbed her shirt and stood her up.
She cried hard as she tried to open her eyes and talk to me but I couldn't understand shit she was saying and I don't fucking want to!
"I fucking hate you Cat! You're just like everybody else! You're a liar!" I said as I used my knee to kick her in the stomach which made her cry even harder making the veins from her head and neck even pop out.
She continued to try to talk but everything that was coming from her mouth I knew was some sort of apology and I don't want to hear her shit!
I threw her to the floor as I scream and punched two holes in the wall.
"…. ….I…I….love you." She cried out and something inside me started to boil over and my whole body turned hot.
"GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" I growled as I stomped back over to her, grabbed her by her shirt and threw her down the stairs without a second thought.
I watched and listened as she screamed and tumbled all the way down the stairs and by time she hit the bottom she was steal and silent.
I huffed and puffed as I kept staring at her and all of a sudden I felt my heart drop.
"Cat!" I yelled out as I stood at the top of the stairs looking down at her lifeless body. But she didn't move. She didn't flinch, she didn't twitch. She didn't do anything to tell me that she was still alive and to me that meant she's dead.
"Catttttt! I yelled out again as I dropped to my knees and put my hands to my face and started to sob.
After about 5 minutes I slowly removed my hands from my face as I stood up and walked slowly to our room and closed the door.
I crawled into our bed and laid onto my stomach with my face in my pillow as I let out screams and cries and words with unknown meanings before rolling over on my back and staring at the ceiling.
I leaned over and hung off of hour bed before pulling out s hoe box and setting it beside me on the bed before reaching into my pocket and pulling out my cellphone.
I dialed Cat's number which rang for a bit before going to her voicemail as I started to sob again.
"Please leave a message after the tone."
BEEEEEEEEEEEEP
I sat in silence for almost a whole minute before deciding to speak.
"….I'm sorry. I'm….I'm so sorry…
"I'm sorry mom for not being the daughter that you expected me to be. I'm sorry for not listening to you the first time I was asked. I'm sorry for all the times I spoke back to you with cruel words saying how I wish you weren't my mother because who am I to say those things when I'm just...like…you. I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry dad for not being the son you've always wanted. I'm sorry for trying to ever fight you, for ever putting my hands on you. You gave me life….I had no business doing those things. I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Jewel. It's my fault you're gone. It's my fault your life ended so soon. I promised and promised you that I would get us away from there, but I just lied. I'm a liar. I'm the one that doesn't deserve life and I'm just so sorry for what I've done to you. You trusted me and I failed you, I let her kill you in front of me because of me. I'm sorry Jewel. I love you. I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Aunt Riley for taking over your house. I'm sorry for sleeping in beds and rooms that belonged to you. I'm sorry for trying to fight your boyfriend off of me, it's your house….I have no say of what happens to me. I was out of place to try and make him stop. I belonged to you, so you had all control over me and I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Beck for ever falling in love with you. I'm sorry for putting you through whatever misery I was putting you in for loving me. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough for you, that I wasn't loving you the way you wanted me to. I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you leave me that day. I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Tori Vega. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did when I first met you. I'm sorry for making your life horrible. I'm sorry for calling you out of name and hurting you whenever I could get my hands on you and mentally whenever I could get inside your mind. I'm sorry for busting your head through your neighbor's car window. I genuinely hope you are okay. I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Isis for lying to you about how I treated your mother. I'm sorry if I was never there when you needed me. I'm sorry if I have ever said or done anything to hurt you. I'm sorry for keeping you away from Monica. If you love her, go get her. I'm sorry if I broke your heart for doing that. I love you more than anything Isis. You are my baby girl. And I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Italy for anything and everything I've ever done to you or said to you to hurt you. I'm sorry for not showing up to a few of your performances when you were a kid. I'm sorry for not always being there for you. I'm sorry for ever putting things on you that I should have been taking care of. I'm sorry for ignoring you at times and pushing you to Cat. I love you Italy. You are my daughter and I'm so sorry.
"I'm sorry Ikenzie. I'm sorry for always being a pusher on you and being so hard on you. I'm sorry if I ever made you cry or feel unloved or scared by me. I'm sorry for threatening you in the car that day, I really didn't mean it. I'm sorry for not paying enough attention to your health and how I kept letting you get sick. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through that was unnecessary. I love you Ikenzie, you're my youngest angel, and I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Caterina Valentine. My love, my life, my everything. You were always, and I mean always there for me since I was only 5 years old. You always took care of me, you always kept your promises, I always trusted you. You held me when no one else would, you loved me when no one else would, you made me smile when no one else could and I'm sorry for putting my hands on you that day. I'm sorry for hurting you over and over again. I'm sorry for taking your innocence in a way that I shouldn't have. I'm sorry for forcing you to love me and forcing you to become my wife. I'm sorry for promising you so many things that I never kept a promise. I'm sorry for making you feel any type of way that wasn't happy and beautiful because you are beautiful Cat. You are everything to me….but….how could you? I was so close to getting help, I was going to change Cat I was. You promised you'd never cheat on me, you promised you never leave me and now look at you? How could you do this to me? You held everything for me that I couldn't hold myself. Even though I've told you I don't trust you you know that I do. You know that I did. I put all my trust and hope in you because I knew you were different. You genuinely loved me Cat and no one else in this world did. I know I've treated you wrong but I just…I couldn't stop it, and I couldn't help it. I finally realized that I need help and I got it. I was so ready to be the wife to you that I know you've always wanted, but I guess I waited too late. You promised you'd wait for me no matter how long it took Cat, but you lied. You lied like the rest of them. You are one of them. And I'm sorry that I couldn't trust you, I'm sorry you let me down. I'm sorry for letting you down.
"Maybe you're dead now anyways. Maybe you flew away to a better place. Maybe Vega flew away too. I know I have no spot in heaven. But there's a dungeon in hell with my name written all over it. I've done so much wrong, epically to you Cat. I don't deserve to go to heaven. I don't deserve it at all. I hope you're okay. I didn't mean to hurt you so bad…..what if you are really dead?"
"I killed my wife."
"I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live either way. I don't even want to live. I don't want to go one. My heart is gone. I don't have one anymore. And it hurts so…damn…bad. No one will understand the hurt I feel. No one. NO ONE. It eats me inside out everyday and I have to take it, I have to live with it and nobody else does. But maybe I don't. Everyone's life would be so much better if I wasn't apart. If I just dismiss myself from this world everything will be better. The whole world would be a better place. So that's what I'll do. I'll dismiss myself."
I reached over and grabbed my huge metal scissor's from my nightstand drawer.
"I have a huge pair of scissors in my hands. They are sharp, they can cut. They can cut deep. But they won't do the job quick enough."
I put the scissors down as I reached into the show box.
"So I have a hand gun. It's cold, and metal and heavy. Just like my heart….just like it."
"I called to apologize to everyone. Because I love you all. I really, really do even if I don't' show it, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't go on. I can't live like this anymore. I've tried so hard to change, to be a better person. So hard, so, so hard I tried, over and over again, but I failed. And I will fail again. All the help in the world can't help me, can't stop my pain, and It's just unbearable now.…I can't go on."
I put the gun to my head as I put my finger on the trigger.
"Please remember the words I love you & I'm sorry and make this a call to remember so that the world will know Jade West can love, and that Jade West did have a heart and that Jade West is truly sorry for all the hurt she's caused anyone and everyone as long as she's been here. No one please cry over me….not that anyone would….I'm sure you guys were wishing this for the longest. Well….your wish is coming true."
I took a breath as hand gripped the gun tighter.
"….long live Jadelyn August West…"
POW!
[To Be Continued...]
So this is the end of this story. Very very very sad ending and I know I have some upset readers but you know...it is what it is...
I know you guys are wondering about Tori & Cat...just keep reading and see if they are okay. Maybe they are...maybe they aren't...who knows?
Please review! And thanks for following and reviewing this story. It means so much to me! The sequel will be up very soon! :)
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