My Best Friend's Wedding
Disclaimer: This is Victor Hugo's sandbox, I am just playing in it.
AN: Mary, why can I never say no to you? No, seriously, after all of the encouragement Mary sent me during the writing process, I had to grant her request and release the next chapter sooner – just not as soon as she wanted it to be =P.
Chapter four: Odd looks and storybooks
It sounded like a good idea when 'Jolras suggested it, but now that she actually has to go up to Cosette and apologize because her parents are idiots, she is hesitant.
She does not like Cosette, and she wants to refuse to apologize to her for that reason, but she knows that will just make her sound like she is an immature child with a grudge against the girl with the pretty pigtails. And she is not that girl anymore.
"Cosette?" she tries to make an effort this time around.
The other woman looks as pretty as a picture even though it is early in the morning and by all rights she should still look and feel like a mess. She is a terrible mess in the morning – with or without coffee – and it is just does not seem fair that Cosette continues to be Miss Perfect while she just looks like a slob.
"Did you sleep okay?" Cosette's question does not appear to be completely sincere.
"Yes, I did," she replies with a smile. "The bed is wonderful."
And that is by no means a stupid joke about what Marius undoubtedly had to say to Cosette about their shenanigans in the bedroom – the ones that were completely imaginary and faked for Marius' benefit.
When she woke up, Enjolras was several inches closer to her than when she had gone to sleep, but she is still not sure which one of them is to blame for that. It was not uncomfortable, so there is no real problem with it besides it being odd to wake up with someone – and having to pretend to be asleep when he almost caught her staring at him right when he opened his eyes. It was a close call, but she managed.
"I am glad to hear that," Cosette does not sound very glad.
"Look, I want to apologize for my stupidity yesterday," she just blurts it out. "I know I was not very nice to you when we were kids, and I am genuinely sorry for that."
She is indeed sorry for the stupid things that she said and did when she was seven or eight years old, but she is mostly saying this to get in Cosette's good graces – she thinks that it is kind of obvious that she should not be held responsible for mistakes she made when she was too young to have any kind of real opinion of her own. All she really did wrong was listening to the wrong people – her parents were her heroes then.
"You should be," is the not very graceful response that she gets to that.
"I know," she tries to go along with it, even though Cosette's rejection is wrong. "I was not a very nice person as a kid. I let myself be influenced by my parents too much, and I know I should not use that as an excuse – just… I'm sorry for those days."
It is noble of her to even bother to apologize after all of this time, and still she gets it thrown back in her face without any kind of appreciation for her effort – she does not just apologize to everyone who might have gotten hurt by her listening to what her parents told her. She never apologizes, and Cosette should appreciate this.
"I am not sure if I can accept your apology," Cosette's grudge is baffling.
"That is okay," she rolls her eyes at Cosette behind her back. "I'm just glad you were taken away from there in time. I hope your stepfather was very kind to you."
Why did Cosette get taken away from there in time when she still had to live out her eighteen years of punishment in that house? She was a good girl, because she listened to her teachers and did her homework on time without too much complaining – and she was still stuck in that house while Cosette got a stepfather who bought her the most expensive doll at the store and took her away from them.
"He is still very kind," Cosette is now looking down on her, purposefully trying to rub it in her face. "He is the best father anyone could have had."
Cosette gets the best father that anyone could have ever had, while she just gets the worst father that she would never wish on anyone. He is the worst parts of her life, and all of the things that she would want to keep secret from the people she values have two faces in her father and mother. They are evil and wrong and she never wants to see them again as long as she lives, and fuck Cosette for getting a better life.
"You are lucky to have him in your life," she tries to keep her voice strong.
"I know that," Cosette remains triumphant.
This is just another way in which the world proves to her that it just is not fair – she has nothing left and Cosette has managed to get absolutely everything. It is probably supposed to be ironic to see how they have basically switched places, but the only thing that she did that could possibly have earned her this was to covet Marius – still, he was her Marius long before he ever even met Cosette. She cannot be blamed.
"And you are lucky to have Marius as well," another thing that hurts her to say.
"He is the best thing that ever happened to me," Cosette smiles dreamily.
If 'Jolras were here with her, he would probably laugh at her fake vomiting behind Cosette's back. But no, Enjolras is currently keeping Marius away from her and Cosette, so that she can get this conversation out of the way without interruptions.
"He has always been such a great guy," she thinks of happy memories with Marius.
There are so many happy memories with him – most of her happy memories have Marius in them – that she has trouble thinking of just one.
"How long have you known Marius?" she gets the long-awaited question.
"It feels like forever," she muses. "Well, it practically is forever. I think I was eight when I met him – we moved after you left and I was in his class. He was so nice to me."
In fact, Marius was the only person who treated her decently back then. Most of her other classmates thought that she was stupid and weird because she did not talk in the same way and she wore the wrong clothes – princesses were not appreciated there, because she was no longer the richest little girl in the class.
"He is a kind person, indeed," Cosette of course agrees with this.
"I think he gets that from his mother," she starts a little test of Cosette's knowledge.
If Marius bothered to tell Cosette about this sensitive subject, their relationship might actually mean more to him than having another perfect girlfriend that his grandfather might approve of. If he did not tell her about his mother, and she knows that he probably has not told her – she only knows because she was there when it happened – then Cosette does not mean enough to him to be truthful with her.
"You have met his mother?" Cosette seems to be surprised at that revelation.
"Oh yes," she smiles at the memories. "I used to wish that she was my mother."
There were many moment in which Annabelle Pontmercy tended to her scrapes and her tears with Band-Aids and gentle words, and in those moments she used to wish that her own mother was more like that. When she figured out that her mother would not change any time soon, she changed her wish and started wishing for Annabelle to be her Mom.
"You don't anymore?" Cosette's ignorance is revealed to her.
No, she still very much wishes that she was born with Annabelle as her mother, but she does not envy Marius the pain that came with his mother's death. In her most guilty fantasies she wishes that her own mother died instead of Annabelle.
"You don't know?" she almost wants to laugh, but Annabelle's death is still painful.
It has been over fifteen years, and speaking or hearing her name still hurts – she can only imagine how much worse it is for Marius because while she wanted Annabelle as her real mother, Marius was actually Annabelle's only child.
"What don't I know?" the other woman is getting angry with her.
"Marius' mother died when we were twelve," she hears her own voice crack. "It was cancer. He was really broken up about it, and so was his dad. They never talk about her."
She can count the times that she has heard Annabelle's name mentioned since her death on one hand. Marius is sad around her death every single year, but he always refuses to acknowledge why – even to her, when she knows what it is all about. She wonders if his father just forbade him from mentioning the topic ever again.
"His mother is dead?" Cosette widens her eyes in surprise.
"Yes," she confirms softly. "That's what I just said. She died over fifteen years ago."
They were only twelve years old, and they had just started middle school together – promising each other that things would be better and that the bullies would no longer get either of them. They were going to have a perfect year together, and nothing was going to go wrong – until it did and his Mom just kept getting worse and worse until everyone knew there was no getting better. It was the worst year.
"I thought his parents just divorced, and that she abandoned Marius," Cosette speaks.
"Nope," she wishes that it really had been something relatively painless for Marius – at least she would have lived. "He just hates talking about her death. It was pretty terrible to witness at the end. We were too young for that sort of thing, but we still saw all of it."
There were many nightmares that year, for the both of them, and she has never been so happy that her parents were super lax when it came to bed checks, because she mostly spent her nights on an air mattress next to Marius' bed that year. Her parents never bothered to say anything about it – she is still not sure that they even noticed.
"That's terrible," Cosette breathes, still stunned.
"It was," she does not want to remember. "His grandparents moved in with them after that. Have you met his grandfather? That man is the scariest old man I've ever met."
Oh, the man may look like a nice grandfather figure, but his mind is still extremely sharp and he has his conservative opinions that he has to tell everyone about. He has a very fixed image of the person his grandson is supposed to be, and there was always hell to pay if Marius deviated from that image even the tiniest bit. And Marius had been a rebellious teen at times – heck, he was a pretty normal teenager that way.
"He has been quite nice to me," Cosette continues to think she is better than her.
"Oh, he's always nice to your face," she continues to know better than that.
The man is a sneaky little bastard; something that she could almost admire him for if he was not constantly talking down to her and manipulating Marius into doing whatever he wanted. She admired the skills, but definitely not the man behind them.
"Excuse me?" Cosette is definitely not amused.
"He has had Marius break up with several of his high school and college girlfriends," she could even tell Cosette all of their names to really get the message across.
There was Lily in the eighth grade, because grandfather Pontmercy did not like that her parents were both artists. Then there was Sarah in ninth grade, because she had a reputation and grandfather did not want his precious Marius to be tarnished even the slightest bit by that ridiculous reputation. Even in college, his short-lived fling with Ava was ended because she was not the type of woman that grandfather could see as his granddaughter in law. These are just a few of the examples.
"And Marius listened to him?" this apparently does not fit with her image of Marius.
"Marius always listens to his father and grandfather," she emphasizes the always.
Lily and Sarah were both pretty heart-broken about these break-ups, but Ava just called him an immature daddy's boy and went on her way.
"Does he listen to them about everything?" Cosette seems a little scared now.
"He listens to them about just about everything," there is the one extremely memorable occasion of Marius' rebellion on her behalf. "His grandfather really does not like me, but Marius told him to stuff it. Did he meet your stepdad yet?"
She still has some vague recollections of the man who came to take Cosette away, and back then he did not seem to be the kind of man who would be able to handle the drama of a family such as the Pontmercies. Who knows, maybe appearances are deceiving?
"I have introduced my stepfather to Marius only," Cosette has actually made a smart move in that, because the rest of the Pontmercies are damn scary.
Not that she has even met any other members of the Pontmercy family other than the father and the grandfather – she knows that they are both extremely embarrassed of Marius' friendship with her and they refuse to introduce her to the family. She does not even want to rebel against this order, because she does not feel the need to meet any more snobs from Marius' family – she only wants to meet the nice ones, but according to Marius there are no such people in his family for her to meet.
"Is he still super shy?" she inquires after Cosette's stepfather.
"My father still does not do well with new people," Cosette stays formal.
That is one of the few things that she does remember about the man: he was extremely awkward around her parents and the guests at their inn. She remembers her parents getting money from him and then being made to check on her siblings.
"Would he remember me?" she ponders. "I mean, I could apologize to him as well."
What she is babbling about, she has no idea. She is still trying to think of new ways to stick it to Cosette, but with all of this talk about the past she just wants to crawl back into the wonderful bed and pull the blankets over her head until the memories go away again. Still, there is no way that she can do that, so she has to go on.
"I don't think that you need to do that," Cosette sounds bored.
"Okay, I'm just going to defer to your better judgment on that," she tries to sound casual.
The blankets idea still sounds like the best option at the moment, so she just has to stick it out in this stupid conversation when she has nothing to say – but she hopes she has sown the seeds of doubt in Cosette's mind like Enjolras has been doing with Marius.
"Good," is all that Cosette has to say to that.
Great, now they both have no idea what to say. That helps so much.
"I wonder where the boys are," she kind of misses her partner in crime at her side.
Knowing Enjolras at least a little, he is as far from this room as he can possibly be, to decrease the risk of Marius ending up in the middle of a catfight. He did not use those terms, but she could see that that was what he meant. She is not planning to attack Cosette in such an obvious way – at this point she prefers the evil backstabbing ways of dirty girl politics. She never had to be that kind of girl before.
"Have you seen Marius yet?" of course that is the first thing Cosette asks.
"Nah," she shakes her head, "but I think 'Jolras was planning on looking for him."
The nickname has now become her form of address for him, because saying his last name all the time is stupid and annoying, and since he still will not let her call him Gabriel, she needed something else to work with. Now she's still calling him by her last name, only in her special way – and he does not even seem to mind it that much.
"When did you and Enjolras get together?" the awkward question comes.
"Oh, that's so weird to talk about," she asks like a dumb blonde to stall for time.
They did not yet have the time to talk about their lovely and romantic story – because even though they both knew that they would eventually have to tell this story to Marius and Cosette, they needed more time to come up with something believable.
"How is it weird?" Cosette continues to prod.
"Nobody would ever have expected that we would end up together," she tries to stall for time again. "I mean, I don't think we even expected it to happen."
They did not expect it to happen because it did not happen. It is not real. Surprise!
With the footsteps coming towards them, she can finally take a deep breath because Enjolras is coming to help her with this or to distract Cosette from asking any more questions about this topic. But how will she communicate that to him?
"Judging by the awkward silence, you were just talking about us," 'Jolras walks in.
Marius is quick to follow him, and of course the sappy idiot immediately moves to Cosette to plant a kiss on her lips. Enjolras would not dare to try something like that, so he simply moves to stand next to her – that is enough anyway. She does not need any sappy stuff from him right now; she just needs him to be right there next to her.
"Eponine was just about to tell me how the two of you got together," Cosette grins.
"That is a story that I have got to hear," Marius immediately jumps on the bandwagon.
Enjolras shoots a look at her that is his version of mild panic – for most people it would not be so obvious, but she has learned to read people very well.
"It's a long and weird story," she starts, giving him time to think of something.
There is obviously a lot of thinking going on behind his impassive face, and they share a look that is meant to convey for Marius and Cosette that while they are not particularly interested in sharing their story, they will tell it to them. She tries to be the pleading one this time, giving him the adorable look that usually works on people. That look would probably never work on him, but he is letting it work for their charade.
"It actually started at the Halloween party last year," he makes up a decent start.
She can work with that timeline. It means that they have been together for a while, but not long enough to go to all of their activities as a couple – she is not sure if she would even want that as a real couple. If Marius wanted it, she would go, though.
"One of the secretaries at his firm is a friend of mine," she fakes an excuse, "and she asked me to go to this Halloween party some guy from her work was throwing."
Some of her co-workers and their significant others continue to ask her to come to parties with them – she is one of the few single women on staff, and her colleagues seem determined to get everyone paired up somehow. Luckily, they are usually picky enough to not let her end up with someone horrible, but she has been on more than one unwanted date. Meeting Enjolras somewhere would have been much better.
"Enjolras went to a party?" that seems to be the biggest surprise to Marius.
"The person throwing this party happened to be the senior partner's son," Enjolras has to clarify, and he has a good excuse. "One does not simply refuse a party like that."
He is a lawyer after all, so he would definitely know how to think of a good story, or how to spin existing events into something more positive or negative. She is still surprised at him sometimes, but she continues to like what she finds out about him.
"Anyway," she tries to get on with the story, "so we got there and this guy started bothering me. Since my friend told me that I was not allowed to eviscerate one of the firm's up and comers, I was rather limited in my response possibilities."
If a guy tries to bother her, she can get rather violent in her response if she is not held back by anyone. She just hates it when men feel entitled to her just because they talk to her and try to keep their eyes on her face – and then she is called a tease if she gets a little flirty with them but does not want to take someone home with her. Men think they have the power, and she is more than ready to make them see the truth.
"I saw my colleague making an ass of himself," Enjolras sounds amused at the fake memory, "in front of a really angry woman who happened to look familiar."
Would they have recognized each other? She thinks that she at least would have, because those crazy curls have somehow found a place into her memory bank, and she will probably never forget him. Now that she has gotten to know him better as well, she is sure that he will be remembered forever – no matter in what way the adventure at the wedding ends, she will continue to be his friend after this. At least, she hopes that he wants to be her friend after all of this is over.
"Was he your knight in shining armor?" Cosette gets starry-eyed at that idea.
"Ponine has never needed any kind of knight to save her," 'Jolras corrects. "I simply went over there to drag my colleague away and ended up being dragged into her scheme."
Once again Enjolras comes up with the perfect story to tell – and he knows her well enough that she never needs to be rescued from anything, because she is strong enough to find a way out and resourceful enough to solve her own problems.
"You liked it," she teases, because she lives to tease him.
"At the time, I was mostly confused," he replies, a sweet smile on his face.
She would have kissed him and pretended that he was her boyfriend. That is her less violent response option, something that she will only try with a male friend that she trusts not to try and take advantage of the situation. She would have asked R to do something like this – and if she had met Enjolras in this situation, she definitely would have tried it with him. Still, he would probably have rejected her.
"What happened?" Marius simply has to know the answer to this question.
"She kissed me," Enjolras responds and proves her right.
And it would have been a damn good kiss, even though they both were not expecting anything like that. Her pride would not have let it be anything less than amazing, and he is more than passionate enough to be a good kisser. She knows that R told her that the kiss between him and Enjolras was just awkward and bad – but that was almost fifteen years ago and she damn well hopes that he has improved since then.
Now she's way too into this fictional kiss that is none of her concern.
"Eppie did what?" Marius is obviously judging her now.
"I pretended that he was my boyfriend," she shrugs, because it is obvious. "The fact that we already knew each other's names seemed to be enough to convince the guy."
The trick has worked for her several times before, when men were drunk and easy to convince of just about everything – if they planned to take some kind of advantage of her, they deserved to be made fun of in return. They lose all rights to their dignity for the future, and she will decide when to forget about it and move on.
"He was a very drunk Zorro," Enjolras paints the scene rather vividly, "and you knew I was dressed as Giles when everyone else just thought I really liked tweed."
He would be dressed as Giles, would he! The mere idea of it amuses her, because he is the kind of guy who would be dressed as an old librarian on Halloween when everyone else is wearing skimpy outfits and drinking too much alcohol. He would also be the kind of guy dressed as an old guy with glasses – and look hot at the same time.
"You even had the glasses," she fake remembers, "you look even hotter with glasses."
"I will remember that," he winks at her and she giggles.
If he shows up with a pair of glasses some time before the wedding she just might have to kiss him in full view of everyone, no matter how he might feel about it – they still have not discussed how far they are willing to go to keep people convinced. That is a discussion they really need to have pretty soon, because at some point Cosette and Marius will need to see something more than hugging. They can talk a good game together, but even Marius is not oblivious enough to believe that talking and hugging constitutes a relationship – especially not when he knows about her tendencies to occasionally get a bit carried away in public. He would never buy this relationship if he did not see any physical action. Enjolras has to be told about this.
"What happened then?" Cosette is completely riveted by the story.
"I remembered how I knew him and asked about the Amis," she keeps it going.
There is nothing else that they have in common that they could possibly talk about – well, she made that sound more dramatic than it actually was. They seem so different, but while they are indeed from very different backgrounds, they probably have more in common than people would expect from them. At least, that is what she thinks, but has yet to find out in reality. Marius should be her focus, but Enjolras can be a friend.
"I was still a little shell-shocked," Enjolras is now the one teasing.
She cannot blame him for that, because if something like this were to actually happen in real life, there would be much surprise on both sides. She would be shell-shocked as well if she had just been kissed by the Marble Man – even if she had been the one to make the first move for the sake of something stupid. There would be surprise.
"He wasn't used to practical strangers trying to hit first base," she one-ups him.
"You forgot to mention that you were dressed as Madonna in the 80s," he taunts.
The ass! He is seriously making a joke at her expense now, and she really just wants to shove it in his face, but she cannot do that. Oh, it is a marvelous little trick and she will definitely pay him back for that at some point.
"I called it 'Manila Whore Barbie', actually," she makes a secret reference.
"I remember," he grins at her, seemingly actually understanding what the reference was about. "I was having some minor trouble figuring out where to look."
Oh, one of these days she will look for a costume like that one again, and she will make him remember all of the places where he should not be looking. Or she could show him the infamous red dress and make him forget his own name – and everything else that he has ever known, because it is just that kind of dress.
"I thought you were totally hot," she winks at him. "I wouldn't have minded."
"Women should be treated with respect," he stays true to his values, as always.
That is definitely something admirable about him, and while his friends have occasionally made fun of these very values, she continues to appreciate them.
"We started talking," she goes on, "and we hit it off, to just about everyone's surprise."
"We became friends first," Enjolras really makes the story better, "and nothing even happened until we were both alone at Christmas and decided to celebrate together."
Now she is sad, because this story is starting to sound like a much happier alternate version of her life – one that she would actually prefer over the real version because in this alternate version she is happy and loved. There is no possible way to make it real though. And in this other version she will never have Marius – at least in this version she still has some chance of getting him back, if she is convincing enough.
"We stayed at his apartment," she throws in some truth. "I'm in love with his couch. Seriously, that thing is so comfortable I could live on it and never leave, not ever."
If she could own that couch in any way, she would do it – even if she had to sell her soul for it to be hers. Well, maybe not her soul, but there are not very many things that she would not do to have that couch – and now she has let him know it too.
"Really, she is just with me for the couch," Enjolras goes along with her joke.
"Oh no, you found out," she pretends to be shocked and embarrassed.
He moves closer to her at that, because they have to start selling this story a bit better than they have been doing so far. She clasps his hand in hers.
"So, what happened over Christmas?" Cosette starts prodding for answers.
"Just tell me it was not the mistletoe," Marius is less than impressed.
A relationship built on a mistletoe kiss? That only works in the movies anyway – and even as a fake couple she and Enjolras would be way more interesting than that, and also a lot hotter than that. There would be a steamy scene, in her opinion.
"Mistletoe is totally romantic," Cosette disagrees with her fiancé.
"Enjolras would never try something as cliché as that," Marius replies harshly.
There are some bursts showing in their seemingly perfect relationship, and she is relishing every single bit of that. Cosette has this stupid and naïve image of romance that simply cannot coincide with the harshness that Marius has already known – and Marius just knows the two of them better than that. Even though he can be a romantic idiot from time to time, he cannot be called naïve, like she is now calling Cosette.
"I am glad you hold me in such high esteem," 'Jolras grins at his friend.
"And no, it was not the mistletoe," she laughs softly, thinking of something good. "I don't really know what it was, really. One minute we were making dinner, and the next minute I was on the kitchen table with my legs wrapped around his waist."
She is not sure if this is just something she really wants to happen in her life – preferably with Marius, thank you very much – or a random thought that has only been voiced to make 'Jolras turn that lovely shade of red again. It is a hobby of hers to make him turn that shade, and she is glad that she made it happen again.
"I'm just glad we stopped before the food burned to a crisp," his face is still red.
In response to his mild embarrassment, she goes further than they have before. Their hands are still intertwined, keeping her grounded while this stupid mess with Marius rages on and on. She continues to hate Cosette for taking him from her.
"You were the one making the first move, buster," she tucks their hands closer.
"Maybe I was," he acts carefree and careless.
She leans in closer to him while letting go of his hand. She tucks her arm around him and wraps herself into his side instead. It is a step closer to what Marius would want to see, and 'Jolras continues to make her feel stronger and more comfortable – and that is exactly what she needs at this point, with the happy couple eyeing them.
"How come I didn't know yet?" Marius seems insulted now.
"You haven't exactly been around all that much," 'Jolras goes for a gentle reminder.
Try not being around at all, because that is the more accurate description. She does not understand how she can be so angry with him and be so hopelessly in love with him at the same time. She loves him because he is her best friend and the best person that she knows and the only person who knows her and still loves her – but she almost hates him for the way he let her slip away from his life over the last few years.
"We haven't exactly been telling people either," she makes another excuse for Marius, as usual. "But yes, if you had asked me if I was seeing someone, I would have told you."
If he asked, she would have told him just about anything. That has always been how it worked with her and Marius. He asks and she gives, and it has been fine until now.
"Still, I'm your oldest friend," Marius uses a trump card that has so little meaning coming from him at this point. "You should have said something. I tell you everything."
Oh yes, he tells her everything. Coming from the guy who sent her the generic wedding announcement after not being in contact for basically a year, that is just laughable. He has made her feel alone, abandoned, and worthless and here he is lecturing her on not telling him her every secret. That makes her sick.
"You didn't tell me about Cosette," she feels bile coming up her throat at his hypocrisy and his lies. "And I'm not the one getting married."
All she can do after something like that is walk away and hope she does not puke on the expensive furniture. Maybe there's an empty vase somewhere.
AN: Anyone seen Juno? Remember the part with the blue vomit in the special vase? Yeah, I'm not doing that, but I think that Éponine was pretty close…
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