My Best Friend's Wedding
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any emotional damage happening after the movie, the musical, or the book version of Les Mis. Blame Victor Hugo for that. You can only blame me for the feels you get from this fic.
AN: Prepare yourself. The chapter title is not as innocent as you might think.
Chapter five: Experimenting
It is just minutes after the stupid rehearsal dinner has ended, and it has started to turn into a huge snob fest due to Cosette's friends – all just as picture-perfect as the girl herself. They all look down on her constantly, making jokes at her expense and laughing and pointing as if they are all still in middle school. She is mostly sure that Cosette is the person who put them up to it, but she has not gotten any real proof yet.
"Hello love," 'Jolras comes up beside her. "I am sorry about those girls."
He immediately wraps an arm around her, and she steps in closer like it is her second nature – and it has become normal for her to stand close to him. This time it is even better, since he is rocking a nice suit and she gets to wear her second best dress – it is black and has enough cleavage to make him have trouble figuring out where the hell he should be looking. He has already pretended to stare at her necklace, but she has been too busy feeling terrible about the girls to call him out on it.
"How do you know that?" she is stunned at his observational skills.
"It is one of my many skills," he turns into a smooth operator.
Since she knows that modesty usually is one of his attributes as well, she doubts that he is being serious about this. Apparently he has decided to act like a dork to make her smile, and she is almost ashamed to admit that it is working.
"Nice smooth talking, 'Jolras," she compliments him, only half kidding.
"Are you okay?" he asks her in response, looking worried.
That look on his face is annoying as hell. She doesn't need his help handling some immature mean girls; no matter how uncomfortable they make her feel. She has been handling that sort of thing by herself since elementary school, and she has done a pretty good job at it if she does say so herself. She can handle herself just fine.
"I can handle it," she is harsh with him, because he will not listen otherwise.
"I know that you can handle everything," he smiles at her. "Are you okay?"
So, he just want to know if she is okay – that is pretty new for her. She thinks that it might be pretty new for him too, because he usually has to be the knight in shining armor who rides out for justice and equality everywhere. He has this pathological need to save people, and she just does not want to be saved – not by him nor by anyone else who is so inclined. She is an independent adult who can take care of herself.
"Not really, but we need to be the happy and convincing couple," she keeps him focused.
"I know they say that men cannot multitask," he jokes, "but I happen to be one of the exceptions that prove that rule. I can play happy couple and make you feel better."
She probably will not reject any kind of offer to make her feel better – and she does mean that as dirty as that can possibly sound. She would not reject him if he had a personality transplant and offered her a ride on his pole. Well, that is probably a weird euphemism to use – she would not reject an offer of sex coming from him.
"Look, how far are you willing to go with this?" she finally asks him.
"You are talking about our skill at charades," he responds in extremely cryptic terms.
When talking about the actual game of charades, she might just be worst player in the entire history of the game – but when talking about the charade that they are making Marius believe, she is quite the talented player. Enjolras makes a good partner in this game, she has to give him that. He is quite the actor, and she hopes that he is willing to go far enough to really give the crowd what they want from them.
"I am indeed talking about that, good sir," she makes a curtsey.
"As long as we do not need to have sex," he ruins her fantasies, "I am all right."
Okay, so the sex thing was just a stupid fantasy about getting release. It has been quite a while for her and she could do with the release. It is silly that she got Enjolras involved in the fantasy, but she can forgive herself that slip-up quite easily.
"You would be okay with kissing?" that is enough of a surprise for her.
"I figured that would be a necessary part of this," he shrugs. "Besides, I saw you with that boyfriend of yours in college. You couldn't keep your hands off each other."
How would he even remember her from back then? They did not really interact all that often in those years, and she is surprised that he remembered her name from back then, let alone who she was seeing for almost a year in sophomore and junior year. She has mostly forgotten – or repressed – the details of those months, but apparently Enjolras still remembers Montparnasse. She wishes everyone would forget about him.
There is no way for her to forget completely, because the scars are still there.
"In more ways than one," her hand goes to her abdomen, shielding herself.
"So, do you want to stage a kiss?" Enjolras changes the subject.
Oh, she can just picture the surprised look on Marius' face when he catches her and Enjolras locked in a romantic embrace – the green eyed monster will have to make an appearance as well, because he has never really had to share her before.
"I think I will just surprise you," she sends him a wink.
It seems like a fun idea to just jump him in the middle of an awkward moment, with all of the guests occupied with other, more important things. She has never liked to plan things like this, because planning romantic actions make them seem a lot less romantic than they are supposed to be. She does not want it to look too staged.
"And you think that will look convincing?" Enjolras does not seem to agree.
"We will just have to practice a lot tonight," she teases, "in some hidden corners."
In the old days, all she would have been able to think about was sneaking into the hidden areas with Marius – because one of these days he is finally going to see her for the wonderful girlfriend she can be and they simply will not be able to keep their hands off each other in public or in private. Right now, all she can think of is making Marius hurt like she has been hurting, and the only way that she can think of to do that is to make Enjolras the new most important man in her life – and to make out a lot.
"And to think Marius thought that we were beyond the clichés," he grins at her.
That smile of his is enough to make most women melt, and now that it is pointed at her, she is having trouble continuing her train of thought. It is terrible of her to be so shallow, but seeing Marius in a suit has done something to her libido – and her newly awakened libido appears to be interested in Enjolras, of all people.
"You need to tell me if pigs started flying," R shows up and interrupts their moment.
Apparently most of the Amis are only bringing a date to the actual wedding, so R is flying solo for the night – and it shows in his drinking habits. There is a half empty beer bottle in his hands, and she is sure that it is not the first of the night.
"Hello to you too, R," she rolls her eyes at her friend's dramatics.
"You two are dating?" R has found out about their story. "When did that happen?"
It never happened – but if they explain it like that they might cause R's brain to explode as it tries to figure out what that means. She just blames the booze.
"Can you keep a secret?" she has to ask him that, even though she knows his answer.
"Of course," R acts as if she has grievously insulted him.
R is not the kind of person who would reveal something told to him in confidence, and she knows that much, but she needs to get him to say it again. If he promises not to tell, she can seriously damage him if he does happen to break his promise.
"Even if you get drunk again?" 'Jolras shoots a pointed look at R's bottle.
"I'm not a chatty drunk," R once again tells them this story, after they have heard him tell it ten times already. "I'm more of a funny drunk. That and a living lie detector."
She has definitely experienced the funny drunk part of that explanation. She has attended several parties with R over the years – he is the only Ami besides Marius that she has actually kept in touch with – and he usually ends up being the life of the party after a few drinks. He tells all of the best jokes and crazy anecdotes – and many of those anecdotes are about his fellow Amis. She has knowledge of Marius and his friends that very few other people have. Cosette will never know these things about Marius.
"I know," Enjolras smiles fondly at some sort of memory that is associated with those words. "That's how we found out Courfeyrac was sleeping with your sister."
Courfeyrac, the flirt, would even hit on his friends' siblings. She is just lucky that Azelma was still considered too young for him when they were in college, because otherwise she would have had to try some amateur castration on dear Courfeyrac.
"Don't remind me," R makes a face and takes another sip of his bottle.
Ellie Grant is one of the Amis' siblings that she has actually met, and she can imagine that Courfeyrac would go after her – the girl even modeled for a while.
"So, what's the secret?" R interrupts her memories of his sister.
"I'm trying to make Marius jealous," she admits with her head held high.
Why should she have to be embarrassed about her feelings for Marius? It is not as if the Amis do not already know that she has these feelings – they have probably already guessed that this relationship between her and Enjolras is less than
"Wait, someone is finally going to mess with Pontmercy for his idiocy?" R is excited.
There is a pointed cough from Enjolras' direction, and that seems to make R understand that he is in the presence of one of the few people who still think that Marius is not a complete idiot. Most of his friends have already called him an idiot.
"When I say idiocy," R is scrambling to come up with some kind of synonym for that term, "I mean his failure to see the lovely Éponine as a romantic prospect."
"Stop sucking up, R," she has to roll her eyes at him.
Their group of three becomes a group of four when the resident romantic joins their conversation. Jehan Prouvaire is practically the antithesis of Enjolras, at least at first meeting. He is a former English major who published his first volume of poetry at fourteen – the critics love him and he has the awards to prove it. Even though she is not really a big poetry fan, she still owns at least one copy of his every book.
"Marius told me all about you two," Jehan's eyes are twinkling. "It is quite romantic, and you two are the least people I would expect to be so romantic about a relationship. So, why are we making Marius believe you two are in love, and how can I help?"
She is impressed with his wits, and even more impressed with his willingness to go along with their plan without even really knowing what it is all about. Jehan is the hidden kind of badass that no one would ever consider as being trouble until they are back to back in a bar fight and Jehan is the person to be scared of. He has a mean right hook for someone with a mostly pacifist attitude.
"How did you figure it out before I did?" R is not happy to not be the best.
"The drink has addled your brain," Jehan is good with his words.
"Watch it, poet boy," R responds with a mock taunt, and they both laugh.
The boys are pretending to be stupid idiots, but that does give her an idea. If she ever runs out of plans to sabotage the wedding, she can always ask the guy to start fighting over something ridiculous like the true meaning of the poem Jehan is currently writing – R has always enjoyed making stupid sexual puns about the poetry, because he can find something dirty in just about anything. He calls that his gift.
Enjolras would call it the most annoying thing about him.
"Jehan?" she attempts to get his attention.
"Yes, Éponine?" Jehan fixes his brightly colored shirt.
"Thank you for helping," is all that she really wants to say to him.
It means a lot to her that these men would take her side over the guy who is supposed to be their friend. She is probably supposed to be mad that Marius' friends are not more loyal to him, but now that the odds are in her favor, she is really happy about their almost betrayal of Marius. They like her better than him, and that is new for her.
"Just act supportive of us," Enjolras orders his friends around like the natural leader he has always been, "and if there is anyway you can stick it to Marius in some sort of subtle way at the same time, I wholeheartedly recommend that you do so."
Enjolras is her firmest supporter in this whole endeavor, and she has no idea how she will ever be able to thank him for all that he has done. He is probably the only guy in the world who would not even try for sex as some sort of repayment.
"What has he done now?" Jehan appears to be fed up with Marius' antics.
"He has slighted Eponine," R talks about her as if she is a fair maiden.
That just makes her feel off, because she is no helpless maiden who needs a prince to kiss her and make her life complete. But she knows that is not what they mean.
"Oh yes, we must surely reprimand him for that," Jehan bows in reverence to her.
All of these boys care very much about treating women right – even though there are some notorious flirts among the group. She thinks it is only just of them, because she never would have believed that they were honestly fighting for justice and equality if they had not been able to treat the real people in their real lives with integrity and kindness and respect. Enjolras would not allow crappy behavior anyway.
This is not some kind of implication that he is a dictator, because he is much too kind for that. Still, he holds justice and equality above all else – even above kindness.
"I don't need one knight in shining armor, let alone multiple knights," she argues.
"You kind of screwed that up when you started fake dating Enjolras here," R motions at his friend dramatically. "He can't not be a knight in shining armor."
The mindboggling structure of that sentence cannot be grammatically correct, but it has been too long since her grammar classes, so she does not bother to think about it all too much. She has better things to think about – like getting Marius back.
"There was too much negation in that sentence," Enjolras corrects.
"And he is also a Grammar Nazi," R should be used to this kind of thing by now.
It is definitely not unexpected to her, because she should have known that he would also be the kind of person who corrects his friends' grammar – because he does not want them to sound stupid, of course. He is just that kind of guy, and she thinks that it is kind of adorable. As his fake girlfriend, she should probably mention that to him.
"Just one of the many things that I love about him," she blows Enjolras a kiss.
Jehan smiles at that, because he enjoys any kind of romantic show of affection, even if their romanticism is all faked for Marius' benefit. She just likes being able to flirt with a guy and not have him expect anything from her in return.
"That is probably more than I ever needed to know about that," R rolls his eyes.
"Deal with it," she sticks her tongue out.
If R is already freaking out at something like this, there is no telling how he will be acting by the time the wedding comes around – if the wedding actually happens. They are getting worse and worse with their flirty comments and sly jokes, and this would actually be considered mild for the two of them. It was maybe a little too sweet, because most of their jokes tend a little more towards the sexual side.
"I have somewhere you can put that tongue," Enjolras shows his feisty side.
"It is like watching a train wreck," R comments. "I just cannot look away."
She is having trouble looking at anything other than Enjolras, because after a comment like that she cannot stop thinking about the place where she can put her tongue – which she is just going to assume is his mouth, because any other place would just be out of character for him. If he does mean any other place, he might get a kick in the nuts just like any other guy who tries something with her. But she knows that he won't.
So she keeps moving closer until their bodies touch and his arms move to wrap around her. He knows what is coming and so does she. Their mouths gravitate towards each other, and their lips meet in a brief kiss – barely more than a peck until they try it again, because it does feel quite nice on her end. The second try is better because their mouths stay fused longer, and he even moves his lips against hers a little.
They step back and breathe again. Things shifted just now, and it is odd.
"Keep practicing," R tells them firmly, practically pushing them together.
"That was not a bad kiss," she, as the expert, argues against him.
There have been much worse kisses in her life, and remembering that Enjolras does not ever kiss people – and probably has not kissed anyone since he was fourteen – that just makes it even more surprising that she was not even a little repulsed or bored.
"It is also not the kiss of a couple that has been together for a few months," she has to admit that R actually makes a rather good point with that one. "You should be in the honeymoon phase for fuck's sake. You should be having serious problems with keeping your hands off each other long enough to do anything."
The feeling that R describes is somewhat foreign to her, because while she and her old boyfriend, Montparnasse, had a lot of sex, it was never a matter of being so in love with each other that they could not stop being together. It was mostly a matter of either being horny or being frustrated and having no other way to deal with it. She has never been in a healthy and loving relationship, so how the fuck would she know?
"This is us practicing," Enjolras now looks even more uncomfortable.
"It is a very romantic image, Enjolras," Jehan speaks, usually the voice of reason coming between R and Enjolras. "But I have to agree with mister Grant on this."
R being right about something is definitely a pretty novel concept for most of them to deal with – especially with support coming from the romantic in the group, when R is always so cynical about things. They are such an odd bunch, these Amis.
"Now we have to talk about flying pigs," Enjolras tries to joke about things.
"You're adorable," she tells him with a smile. "Let's try it again. You know you want to."
She is wiggling her eyebrows at him, trying to entice him into kissing her again, and all around trying to be adorable. She is batting her eyelashes like some deranged teenager, and if she had a fan, she would learn that language to seduce him too – because what she is doing right now is a kind of seduction. Everything that they are doing is faked, but she still has to seduce him into doing it. It is an odd experience.
"R, that is our cue to leave," Jehan tries to drag R away from them.
"Do tell me what he's like in bed later, okay?" R shouts back over his shoulder.
Of course R is shouting way too loud, because most of the people present at the tables surrounding them are now staring at them and judging them. She feels judged, but all that she wants to do in response is to give them something to judge.
"He has to have the last word," she shakes her head, trying not to laugh.
The response that Enjolras gives to that is to pull her close and to try this kissing thing again. Only this time he is a much more active participant in the kissing. Their mouths are moving more now, and they cannot fake real kissing convincingly enough without actually really doing the kissing themselves, so she has to slip him some tongue. To her surprise, she actually gets a tentative response to that. His tongue is moving with hers and they start a kind of dance, until she feels the fire surround her.
When did it get so fucking hot in here?
"Do you guys need a room?" Marius interrupts their second attempt.
"We already have one," she snipes at him. "It's right upstairs."
There is not even any real jealousy showing on his face, only some embarrassment, because it is undoubtedly not done in Cosette's social circles to kiss like this in public – and especially not to attempt the Marble Man into moving further than a mere kiss in public. He is embarrassed of her again, and after everything he has already done over the last few weeks, this is just the final disappointment that she can handle.
"Please don't hate me Eppie," Marius makes a pointless plea.
"I don't hate you," she hates that she doesn't. "You're my best friend. That does not mean that I cannot be really angry with you for keeping all of these secrets from me."
The drama has managed to attract even more attention from Cosette's gossipy friends, something that she really does not need at this point in time. There is more pointing now, and the whispering is almost audible to her now. She really does not want to know what they are saying about her – and she is still so angry with Marius.
"Tell your girl to call off her minions," Enjolras orders Marius around.
"What are you talking about?" of course the idiot is oblivious once again.
He is Marius, and he is an idiot, and she should have seen that a long time ago. She just loves him so much, and she can barely remember a time before he was her best friend, and she does not know how to be Éponine without her best friend Marius by her side in whatever way that he could be. It might be sad that her identity has always depended on someone else, but it was all that she had. She has always had Marius – and now she does not have him anymore and it hurts. He is not even the same guy anymore.
"There is this whole table of Cosette's friends," Enjolras seems to have absolutely no trouble with pointing all of the girls out to Marius, "and they seem to delight in acting like they are still in middle school. They have decided to make Eponine the victim of their immature bullying campaign. Either you stop it or I will."
She might be a little tired of Enjolras' 'equality and justice for all' habit, but she is more tired of letting all of this happen to her – because it just keeps happening. She is beyond that at her own school now, because she is in a position of power and the students would never dare to make too much fun of her. They seem to respect her for some reason, and she is proud of her accomplishments at her work.
Marius has never appreciated the things that she has accomplished; or he has just never really understood how much these things mean to her.
"I can handle it, 'Jolras," she has to argue with him, but she is so tired.
"I know you can," he still is not refuting this, "but sometimes I want to help you. You don't have to do everything on your own, you know."
If only she had met this guy instead of Marius. The fleeting thought that flits by in her head disturbs her so much that she has to take a minute to think better thoughts of Marius. She loves him, so why can she no longer be loyal to him?
"I will tell you when I want you there, okay?" she almost smiles at 'Jolras.
"Are we still talking about me helping you?" he then shoots a wink at her.
Maybe they are now secretly talking about their little experiment earlier, because that definitely helped her to see some things from a different perspective – albeit a very terrifying one. A life without Marius has always been unthinkable, but it is slowly starting to become her reality. And she thinks that that is probably worse.
"Oh, there are still a few things you can help me with," she steps in closer to him.
"Stop making everything into a sex talk," Marius is annoyed with the two of them.
They are probably much more annoyed with him than he is with them, and they are the ones with the legitimate reasons to be angry. It is funny, because they are also the ones who are lying about some pretty serious things – their entire united front is a scam that Marius somehow still buys. Well, it started out as a scam and now the friendship is almost real and only the kissing is for Marius' benefit.
"If you're uncomfortable with it, you can just walk away," she bites back at him.
She has seen the cuddly couple many times in her stay, and she has been unnaturally bothered by them the whole time. So Marius really is not the right person to be casting stones about people in relationships showing public displays of affection.
"Are you still angry with me?" Marius asks a stupid question.
"Of course I am still angry with you," she replies angrily. "That does not just go away!"
Does he really think that it would be that easy for her to forgive him? To be honest, he has never had to work for her forgiveness before, so he probably had been expecting for things to continue on in the same old way – only now she has changed and her response has changed with her. Now he just has to change along with her – she fears he won't.
"You might want to apologize and give her time," 'Jolras has the right idea.
"I am sorry, Eppie," Marius gives a generic apology and walks away.
Yeah, and now he thinks that if he just keeps his distance for a few days and does not say anything else to insult her, that things would be just fine again.
Guess again Marius. Guess again.
"Fuck him and the high horse he rode in on," she mutters under her breath.
"What do you want to try next?" Enjolras gives her options.
There is so much anger and sadness in her, and the feelings just might rip her apart without someone there to make sense of it – she cannot make sense of her own feelings at this point. She just wants to forget about it for a little while.
Enjolras always wants to help her, so he can help her with this.
"I'll take some more kissing in dark corners," she tries not to look at him.
"I think I might be able to do that," his voice is hesitant, but he still takes her hand in his and lets her lead him to the nearest dark corner. "Is this good enough?"
She nods because there are no words left – and then his lips touch hers and she can pretend for a little while that she is happy and in love and safe.
Somehow 'Jolras can always make her feel safe.
AN: They are adorable and messed up and awkward. Are they not amazing? Yeah, I thought so. Let me know your favorite lines/parts/characterizations/anything!
I love you all!