My Best Friend's Wedding
Disclaimer: I hate to say it, but I'm not Victor Hugo. I think you'd know that already, because I haven't killed anyone yet…
AN: Marius, at last, we see each other plain… Yeah, so, this is the actual confrontation between Éponine and Marius. Muchos emotions. Feels guarantee!
Chapter nine: Confrontation
This is just one of the many reasons why she is going to elope – if she does ever get married for whatever stupid reason. There is just so much stress associated with a wedding that there is no time to actually be happy and in love.
It is the day before the wedding and everyone appears to be freaking out.
"Eponine, can you go help Marius," Cosette asks yet another favor, this one being the most painful one yet. "He is working on the table settings."
Enjolras shoots her an apologetic look, but he has no way to save her, since he has already been put to work writing place cards – he has elegant handwriting that most calligraphists would probably kill for. It is one of the many ridiculously perfect things about him that she should no longer be surprised about.
"I'll go and find him," she has found that agreeing with Cosette makes things easier.
Her heart is not supposed to be found so obviously on her sleeve, but even Cosette can take time away from freaking out long enough to give her that terrible look of pity that she can live without ever seeing again. Everyone now knows of her stupid feelings and Marius' continued insistence on pretending that she does not really exist – he has not acknowledged her in days and while she appreciates the distance, she hates that he has stopped even trying to talk to her. She wants him to make an effort to win her back as his friend. Now it just seems like she is once again an afterthought for him.
"Here comes the cavalry," she quips as she finds her former best friend.
"I told Cosette that I did not need any help," Marius is not happy with her showing up.
It is not as if she even really wants to be here with him either, but his anger and frustration at seeing her still really stings. It is as if he has given up on her as a friend and has just decided to see her as a hostile presence from now on. She wants to blame it all on stress and pre-wedding jitters, but she knows that would be too optimistic.
"She sent me here anyway," she makes her voice close to emotionless.
"Just make sure that everything's in order on the tables," Marius follows her lead for once, but he sounds more like a tool. "It's not that complicated."
Oh wow, he just made himself into even more of an asshole – that is lovely.
He is acting as if asking her to do something more complicated would be such a struggle for her, and she honestly just wants to walk away from the whole thing – but not until she has given him a solid punch in the face. She has no more arguments against punching him – not even that he is not supposed to have a black eye on his wedding day – and he is still testing her patience. She is honestly so tempted to go for it, letting her anger get the best of her to finally unleash some of those emotions that she has been choking on since she got the invitation. Because he hid it from her.
"I am sure that I can handle it," her voice is sharp enough to cut him.
She purposely puts a distance of several tables between the two of them and starts debating just how injured Marius would be if she tossed one of the big and expensive decorations at his oversized freckled head. She thinks that she can probably get away with doing it – there are no witnesses to this anyway.
"That is not what I meant," Marius finally realizes just what he said to her.
"I am sure it wasn't," she rolls her eyes, sick of feeling so insulted and demeaned. "You never mean it, but you always say it. Or you hide it away like one of your many secrets."
Honestly, she thought that he was so much better than this – and the thought of having been a friend to someone who can lie so easily to her makes her so sick inside. Marius was the only person in her life who would never lie to her about anything, and it was a refreshing change after living with con artists for the entirety of her childhood. She is good at knowing when she is being lied to, but she trusts Marius so much that she would not even consider the idea of him lying to her – and he took advantage of that.
"I never meant to keep Cosette from you," he argues, sounding so tired.
"But you did," she has to show him her side of things. "You did hide her from me, and you did that for almost two whole years. You should get a fucking prize for managing to lie to me for that long and not getting caught until you let it happen."
Her instincts are close to gone, and her trust is all but shattered because of him. Twenty years of friendship basically gone down the drain because of lies – she is just not sure if she is ever going to be able to trust him ever again. How will she know that he is not just telling her another lie? How will she ever be able to tell?
"Maybe Cosette has some kind of ribbon for you," she continues to bite at him.
"Leave Cosette out of this," Marius is still fixing the tables.
It is easier to focus on the disgustingly pretty tables with all of their frilly details and the forks and the spoons – focusing on the knives would just bring seriously violent ideas to her mind – than to look at his stupid face. She just wants to get it all over and done with so that she can get away from him as soon as possible. She never wants to let herself be close to him again – in any and all ways. She can never trust him again.
"You brought her into it long before I did," she scoffs, moving some cutlery around.
"Now you are blaming me for this?" Marius actually seems surprised at that.
There is no one else to blame for this but him. He is the one who was keeping things from her and taking advantage of her trust – when he was actually pretty much the only person in the world that she trusted absolutely and completely.
"Of course I am blaming you," she starts shouting at him, knowing that her voice will undoubtedly carry to where Cosette and 'Jolras are still working.
"I don't understand why," Marius continues to be a total and complete idiot.
Enjolras will probably be on his way to rescue her from this confrontation, but she still needs to get all of this out of her system because she cannot go on without calling Marius on all of this shit. There are just so many things that she still has to say to him, and she wants to say them without being interrupted by a well-meaning intervention from dear Enjolras. So she just hopes that he will wait a little while longer.
"You promised me," her voice cracks, but she has to keep going. "You remember the pact we made when we were eighteen and hopeful and trusting and so stupid. You told me that we'd get married at twenty-eight if we did not find someone. You remembered that promise as recently as a few months ago. You even mentioned it to me then."
That stupid pact they made all of those years ago feels like a ridiculous idea now – and she is starting to think that he only said it as a joke. But if that were the case, he should not have kept reminding her of it and counting down the years with her, because those were the things that actually gave her hope that he loved her as well, and that he wanted to be married to her just as much as she wanted to be married to him. He gave her hope and then he crushed it beneath a pair of Cosette's stylish pumps. That just hurts.
"And then I find out you have been dating someone all that time," the betrayal that she feels is probably showing on her face. "You broke your promise and you did not even bother to tell me. You thought it would be better if I kept believing you."
He let her believe the stupid lies for so long that she is sure she probably came across as a naïve and silly young girl – and she swore she would never be that girl again.
"I just didn't want to hurt you," Marius is hurt as well.
"Well, you did a marvelous job at that," she has to take deep breaths to keep from crying, because he cannot see her falling apart. "You should have just told me when you met her, instead of keeping the lies up until the wedding invitation came in the mail. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to find out about my best friend's wedding through a stupid invitation in the mail? I did not even know that you were dating anyone. I felt like a fool."
The stupidity and naivety, which were associated with being lied to for so long, are some of the worst offenders – but the issue of trust is still the worst of them all. She does not feel like she can trust him now, and after twenty years of calling him her best friend to anyone who was willing to listen – that stings the most of all.
"I just did not know how to tell you," he looks so lost, but she cannot feel sorry for him.
"I do not even care how you told me," she rolls her eyes, because it seems as if he still does not get the point of this. "I just cared that you told me at all, and you didn't."
She would have taken a simple cowardly text telling her about Cosette over finding out from that invitation in the mail. He does not understand that, but any way would be preferable over finding out from an almost anonymous message in her mail that had nothing to do with her personally. She is his best friend, and has been his best friend for twenty years, and she had to find out with everybody else, as if she has never been as special to him as he has always been to her. It was just another reminder that she was the one holding this friendship together with her sheer want for him.
"I knew you would hate Cosette," Marius feels ashamed of this.
"I may have, at first," she is very willing to admit that, even if Cosette does end up listening in on this conversation. "But I hated her because you kept her a secret from me and I felt like she was taking you away from me. You did a fine job of ruining our friendship on your own, and Cosette is a decent person. Congrats, you were wrong!"
If the circumstances had been a little different, she might eventually have struck up a decent friendship with Cosette, and that is just another thing that Marius has taken from her by being a stupid idiot and lying to her for two years.
"I knew how you felt about me," Marius finally says it, and she stills completely.
"You knew?" she has never been so surprised. "How long have you known?"
She has never claimed to be anything less than obvious about her feelings for him, but since he never changed his response to her, and since he never said anything about her feelings, she has always assumed that he was just oblivious to her and these stupid feelings. But no, she has to find out that he has told her even more lies than she ever thought he would tell her. He has known about these feelings and ignored them, occasionally even encouraged them, as long as it suited his own agenda.
"I have known for years," Marius seems embarrassed to say.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she is disappointed and furious. "I have mooned over you for so long, and you could have just told me you didn't feel the same way. If only you had told me, I would not have been stuck hoping that you would finally see me for years and years and years. I could have gotten over you years ago and you didn't let me!"
Her life would have been so very different if he had only told her that he did not see her that way. She could have had years of love and happiness without him, and now she just cannot see how she can ever have that when the only man she ever really loved lied to her and treated her like her feelings were always second to his. After the whole deal with Montparnasse and her mysterious savior, she kept hoping for Marius to notice and to save her from her crappy past, but he never did. Did he know back then? Did he know even then that she would have done anything to make him see?
Montparnasse was just another stupid mistake that turned into something much more dangerous than she initially thought. She heard that he is in jail now, and she sleeps sounder at night for knowing that. She wonders who her savior was that night.
"You have Enjolras now," Marius seems to think that solves everything.
"Just stop talking, Marius," the hero of the day has finally intervened.
She feels safe enough to let out the deep shuddering breath that she had been holding in for a while, now that 'Jolras is here with his arms around her, keeping her warm when her world slowly crumbles into ashes – it would not be the first time that she had to rebuild her life from the ground up, but she has always thought that Marius would be with her the next time she had to. She never thought that he would be the cause of the crumbling, but she has been wrong about so many things already.
"I can't breathe," she mutters into Enjolras' neck. "The air is gone."
He softens his hold on her just a little, hoping he was not the cause of her breathing problems, and his hands are soothing as they run up and down her back. The shuddering breaths are back, and she is sure that she will never be able to face Marius again.
"What did I do?" Marius has no idea how wrong he has been.
"You can be such an idiot," Cosette has joined them as well, and she is starting to call Marius out on his shit, albeit more fondly than she ever would.
This seems to be new for Marius, because he just looks so stunned at being called out on all of the many things that he has done wrong lately. Cosette has just stood back and she has taken all of it, but she is apparently done with that, just like she is.
"But, Cosette," he stammers, looking like the unsure kid that she once knew.
"She is right, Marius," Enjolras stands by the women in the room. "Though I probably would not say it in such a nice voice. But yes, you can be an idiot."
His arms are still around her, but he still manages to sound perfectly hostile with her face hidden in his neck. He is her knight in shining armor, and she is sure that their relationship status has now officially been cemented in the eyes of Marius and Cosette – she would never turn to just any person in a situation like this one. Her knight has to mean something to her, or she will never be able to let go enough to let this person see her vulnerable. She does not like to show any kind of soft side in front of others.
"I am really sorry for everything" his apology is just too little too late.
"That does not mean that much to me at this point," she shouts at him, finally getting away from her protector. "I don't even know if I can forgive you, Marius."
That is when she bolts, because she has already shown too much of her vulnerabilities to all of these people. She just has to get away before – God forbid – she actually starts crying in front of all of them. That is probably the worst thing that could happen in this situation, and she is not going to let it get that far. She has to run.
"Let her go," she can hear Enjolras ordering everyone else around. "Just let her go!"
And she can finally escape.
e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e
It is not easy to be Éponine, she knows that now; even though she always used to be so jealous of how the other girl still had both of her parents and they obviously loved her so very much – they always hated her and made her do chores. It is stupid to still be mad at Éponine for those times, but she will never forgive Éponine's parents for their cruelty.
"I need to fix this," Marius is frantic, and his face as white as snow.
"This is not something that you can fix just like that," Enjolras comes to his girlfriend's defense with a zeal that she continues to find impressive. "I am going to go find her and make sure that she is not going to do something stupid because of you!"
Enjolras marches off with a grace that tells her that he must come from some kind of old money. Marius does much the same thing when he is upset with his father or grandfather, and it makes her smile to see that these two friends share this when they maintain that they don't share many things or viewpoints. Still, they chose the same profession – albeit in different branches – and they both chose a damaged girl to love.
They are much more alike than they think, and she enjoys knowing that.
"Tell me how to fix it," he implores her, and while she does not want to make him feel like everyone is ganging up on him, she also needs to tell him some harsh truths.
"You really hurt her, dear," she sympathizes with him a little, her arm around his waist as she continues to talk. "You keep too many secrets, and when they come out, it leaves people thinking that they cannot always trust you. For people like Éponine and I, trust is the one thing that few people get. You are the only one she trusted completely, and you just threw that away. At least, that is how she is feeling right now."
She understands how Éponine is feeling just a little too well, because she too had almost no one until she finally found her Marius. Her stepfather is still the most amazing man she knows, but he has always kept secrets about his past and what her life was about before she went to the Inn to live with the Thénardier family.
"I just don't know how to talk to her anymore," her dear Marius is close to tears over losing his best friend. "She is not always my Eppie, and I don't know what to say to her anymore. We don't see each other, so we don't know what's going on in each other's lives, and it just gets worse and worse with time. I wish that she and Enjolras would live closer to the rest of us, but I don't think that would fix everything."
It is always hard to be faced with one's mistakes, especially like this.
"You need to keep talking to each other," she tries to make him understand.
"I know that now," he plants a soft kiss on her forehead. "You're the smart one here, and I should have listened to you before. I should have told everyone about us sooner."
At this point, she is supposed to feel vindicated – because she has told him so many times that keeping their relationship secret was a bad idea, and that it made her feel like his dirty little secret. Now that the secret has come out and people have gotten hurt over it, she almost wishes that they could have kept the two of them a secret forever. She never wanted to be the reason that anyone got hurt.
"How long have you know that Éponine was in love with you?" she has to ask him this.
She is secure enough in her relationship to know that Marius only has eyes for her, but him keeping this a secret, that part still stings. And now she has to know.
"I'm sorry," he once again apologizes. "I've known since college. Montparnasse seemed to be a way to get over someone, and I knew it was me."
The look of shock on her face at that name has to be pretty obvious, because she knows all about what goes on in the backrooms of bars and restaurants in this city. This guy is a part of one of the biggest gangs in the city, and his name is on more than a few watch lists. She works for the DA's office, and she is not stupid. She knows enough.
She guesses that they should all be glad Éponine got away from him.
"You might have told me, dear," she keeps a level tone of voice.
"I should have told you and here," his voice is filled with regret, and she loves him even more than before for owning up to everything. "I want my friend back, dear."
When he looks like this, she can see the little boy that Eponine became friends with twenty years ago. And she still sees the wonderful man that she fell in love with so quickly two years ago, and she sees the man that she is going to marry in a day.
"We are going to fix it, together," she promises before kissing him.
"I love you," he tells her, breathing heavy.
Out of all of the things and all of the people in an entire world that is filled with people and things, she loves Marius the most, and that is why they are going to get married and live happily ever after. It is an almost silly dream, but it is actually reality.
"Love you too," she smiles in the most beatific way, because their marriage is so close.
"We're getting married in the morning," Marius sings in this adorable way that he has, one that always makes her smile. "Get us to the church on time!"
Are those things from the same song? She is not sure, but that does not matter when Marius is smiling again and having the two of them dance in the middle of their venue, as some sort of a test run for the big day tomorrow. In less than twenty-four hours, she will officially be Mrs. Pontmercy – her name will be Cosette Pontmercy.
Only a few hours left before she is finally the happiest woman on earth.
AN: A little Cosette POV for all of you.
So, now that the big blow-up between Eponine and Marius has come and gone… Next chapter has the day of the wedding. And so does the one after that. That's right! Two chapters dedicated to one day. Prepare!