"Amanda Grayson. It is a pleasure to meet you."
Amanda looked into the dark eyes of the Vulcan man in front of her, thinking to herself that it looked like it was anything but a pleasure. It was hard not to be intimidated by the man's bearing. He was significantly taller than Amanda, though she was tall for a woman, and his severe face was only made more forbidding by the deep lines of age there. His traditional Vulcan hair was shot through with gray, and he stood as stiffly as a statue, arms folded behind his back.
"The pleasure is mine, Councilman Skon." She said, inclining her head, and working hard to keep any trembling out of her voice. She couldn't show any of her nerves here. One slip would be a significant cultural faux pas. Amanda knew this all too well.
It was the day after Professor Valek had led Amanda to meet with T'Rea and Mr. Wyse. Amanda was now on her way to the library, in order to fufill T'Rea's instructions of the day before. "As there is obviously no one here suitable to prepare you for living on Vulcan," the elegant Vulcan had said, "I will work with you until your departure. You will meet with me in the library tomorrow, where I will attempt to instill as much of Vulcan culture in you as I can. We will meet daily until I am satisfied that you are fully prepared."
Amanda's excitement had been almost completely replaced with anxiety. She'd spent the night sleeplessly, alternating between panic and wild excitement. She was therefore feeling rather worn out as the doors to the library slid open before her. As she stepped inside, it occurred to her that T'Rea had not stipulated where they were going to meet. Amanda paused by the front desk. Where was she supposed to find the Vulcan emissary? She was spared any more worry, however, when T'Rea herself appeared at the desk, her robes a dark umber with a hint of orange. Amanda had little time to marvel at the woman's appearance, as T'Rea began speaking as soon as she drew level with Amanda. "Good morning, Miss Grayson. Come with me, please."
Amanda opened her mouth to say "good morning" as well, but T'Rea had already turned away and was sweeping off towards the back of the library. Amanda trotted to keep up with her, amazed that the woman could move so quickly in her heavy dress. When they reached the far wall, T'Rea turned and led Amanda to a small room that was normally reserved for small groups to work together. The room was empty now, although Amanda knew that it was usually in use at all hours. Perhaps T'Rea had scared the occupants away. She certainly had the bearing to do it.
"Please take a seat." T'Rea said. "Valek will join us shortly. He will be here to assist you in learning conversational Vulcan while I instruct you on how you are to behave during your stay."
Amanda sat down, feeling flustered. What did T'Rea mean, how she was to behave? Was T'Rea going to give her rules about where she could go, and who she could talk to? Amanda folded her hands in her lap as T'Rea took the seat opposite her. Amanda noted that the woman's hair was once again in an elegant style, but one completely different from the one she'd worn the day before. Either she was up at four in the morning doing her hair, or she has three people to help her with it, Amanda thought.
"I needn't inform you that Vulcan culture is very different from that of Humans." T'Rea began, her eyes fixed on Amanda's. "There will be certain expectations for you while you are a guest of Vulcan. Most Human behaviors will not be acceptable in Vulcan society." Amanda raised her eyebrows. Oh, this is what she meant by behavior. Of course Amanda knew that Vulcans acted very differently from Humans, but she hadn't imagined that this program would require her to conform to their principles.
"I wonder if you are familiar with Surakian principles." T'Rea said, in a way that sounded much more like a statement than a question. Amanda licked her lips and nodded.
"Of course. The Surakian principles are the tenets that Vulcans hold in order to purge themselves of emotion."
"No. Vulcans do not purge themselves of emotion unless they are undertaking the ritual of Kolinahr. Vulcans are taught from birth to simply suppress their emotions, which would keep them from acting logically." Amanda blushed at having been checked in such a way. She had known of course that Vulcans weren't completely devoid of emotion, but obviously Amanda's imprecise words had led T'Rea to believe that she did not understand.
"Therefore, it is considered extremely rude to allow one's emotions to show in public, or to act on them." T'Rea continued. "Such behavior will not be tolerated in Shi'Kahr, nor among any Vulcans. As you are Human, you will be given slight license for mistakes, but nevertheless you must learn to act very differently from your normal comportment." Amanda frowned slightly. T'Rea spoke as if she expected her to make mistakes. T'Rea ignored her and went on, saying "I will endeavor to teach you to hide your emotional responses so that you may engage in Vulcan society without giving offense."
Amanda took a deep breath. This was going to be more difficult than she'd thought it would. She didn't have time to reply before T'Rea began to speak again. "If you find this endeavor would be too difficult for you, you need only say, and we will find another candidate."
Amanda's brows knit immediately and she shook her head. "Of course not. I'm perfectly willing to learn." T'Rea's shoulders stiffened, and Amanda thought that her expression became even more rigid, if that were possible.
"I am afraid it is that sort of reactions which I must teach you to suppress." She said. "It will not be easy for a Human to grasp. I hope that you understand this."
Amanda tried to force herself to relax, to smooth out her features and remove any tension from her body. "Yes, I understand. I want to try."
"Very good." T'Rea said, but there was no hint of approval in her face. Amanda supposed that she had to take that at face value. "There are a great many ways in which Vulcans suppress their emotions. However, as you are human, only a few will be available to you. The practice of meditation is core to Vulcan control. All Vulcans learn to meditate from a very young age. We use it to center ourselves and regulate the balance of emotions in our minds. It is vital to a Vulcan's survival that they can meditate regularly. Of course, Humans do not have any control over their minds in this way. Still, the practice has been used by Humans in a more superficial way. Humans can also regulate balance, although it is much more difficult to achieve, and the control is not nearly as strong. I will attempt to teach you what I can of meditation before we depart."
"When exactly do we leave?" Amanda asked, feeling her heart beating quickly.
"As soon as you have graduated from this institution." T'Rea replied. "Ideally, the day after the ceremony."
Amanda swallowed. So soon! And she had to learn so much! Would she be able to do this? Her gaze flicked to T'Rea's face, and she immediately tried to push any evidence of her worry off her face.
"I see that you are trying. That is good." T'Rea said, and there was a slight hint of satisfaction in her voice. Amanda felt her cheeks redden. So, she really was that easy to read. This was going to be a long and difficult lesson for her to grasp. How could she un-learn the way that she'd acted her entire life?
"As I said before, you will be given a certain degree of license due to your lack of natural ability. That is no reason for you to be lax in your attention to hiding your emotions, but you will not be expected to act entirely like a Vulcan. Such a request would be ludicrous, as you are completely incapable of it." Amanda wasn't sure if she was supposed to feel relieved or be hurt. She hadn't had much interaction with Vulcans in her life, but she was certainly understanding why Humans complained that they were so difficult to be around. That was no reason, though, for Amanda to back down. She could do this - she would do this.
T'Rea proceeded to tell her more about Vulcan meditation, and how she might apply the steps to her own adaptation of it. "We will attempt to find you a Human teacher, so that learning will not be so difficult." T'Rea assured her, when Amanda's ability to hide her exasperation began to flag.
T'Rea also explained about Surak, and the story of how he had brought Vulcan society to a better place through his teachings. Amanda couldn't help but be fascinated. It was as though her studies of the Vulcan language had only been the tip of the iceberg - there was so much more to learn underneath. She quietly resolved to find as many books in the library as she could on the subject, but T'Rea dashed that hope by saying "You will not be able to find much information on the subject in any library here on Earth. The Starfleet databases will be opened to you, however, and you will be able to conduct better research there. Your access will of course be restricted only to materials that are pertinent to your situation. The information on the Starfleet databases is incredibly valuable, and not open to everyone." Amanda nodded meekly - she knew that as she wasn't part of Starfleet herself, it was certainly a big deal that she should be allowed to see any of their gathered material.
Amanda was surprised, when Professor Valek entered the room, that she had been speaking with T'Rea for almost two hours. She'd been sufficiently swept up in the conversation not to notice the passage of time. As soon as Valek sat down, Amanda was once again surprised when T'Rea smoothly switched from speaking Federation Standard to Vulcan. She and Valek spoke for several minutes before Amanda fully caught up. The Vulcan language was incredibly difficult for Humans to grasp, and even in her classes with Valek Amanda had never ventured to speak the language beyond a few words. The vocabulary was dense, and it was difficult for a Human to even form the necessary sounds. Valek and T'Rea seemed to be watching her out of the corner of their eyes while they spoke, and Amanda squared her shoulders and concentrated on what they were saying. Their talk was light, concerning unimportant matters such as the date of Amanda's departure, the curriculum she had learned, and other bits of information about the school and Valek's position. After about 10 minutes of listening, Amanda was confident that she understood about 90% of the conversation, and was just feeling rather proud of herself when Valek turned to her and addressed a question to her. He had to repeat it before she caught the meaning.
"Have you ever left Earth before?"
"N-rai."
Valek's eyes flashed with something that Amanda thought might have been approval. He asked her another question, and this time Amanda was able to answer with more than one word. Slowly, Valek and T'Rea began to incorporate Amanda into the conversation, until Amanda herself was stringing together long sentences. Her pronunciation was certainly lacking, though, and Valek and T'Rea stopped her often to help her with a sound. It was embarrassing at first, but as Amanda began to gain confidence, her vowels and consonants became more streamlined, and by the end of an hour they were having a true conversation. It was a little bit "easy reader" in nature, but Amanda was working hard, pushing herself to speak aloud the more complex sentence structures that she'd studied with Valek in class. When T'Rea finally said that Amanda should go and get her lunch, Amanda had even ventured into the subjunctive.
This little triumph was enough to buoy her spirits, even after the worry of what she would be learning in the coming two weeks. She was about to leave the library when Valek stopped her. He addressed her in Federation Standard, which was slightly disappointing to Amanda, but she realized it was probably for the best when he began to speak. She wasn't sure she would have caught the meaning if he'd spoken Vulcan.
"Miss Grayson, I want to congratulate you myself on your acceptance into this program. I am very proud that a student from my tutelage has been given this opportunity. I would like to extend the use of any of my resources you would like from the library and institution. And, if you require more practice in conversational Vulcan, I am available to guide you before your departure." The older Vulcan said all of this without a hint of emotion in his face or eyes, but Amanda couldn't help feeling as though she'd been given a great compliment. It was difficult to keep a smile off her face, but she managed it, instead inclining her head respectfully to the professor.
"Thank you, Professor Valek. Your congratulations mean very much to me, and I'm grateful for all the guidance you've given me."
Thus, Amanda left the library in good spirits. She knew that there was a lot of work ahead of her, but it was exciting work, something that she'd never tried before. In fact, it was something that no graduate student had ever tried before. Amanda knew that there had been a few dignitaries from Earth who had learned Vulcan cultural practices well enough to be readily accepted among them, but there weren't many, and none of them had been younger than forty when they'd undertaken it. it all felt a little surreal, to be so honored, when she barely knew what she was doing.
That had all been two weeks ago. Amanda was standing now, in front of the imposing figure of Councilman Skon, wondering what the hell she was doing. They were on the landing platform, waiting to get onto the shuttle that would take her to the ship that would take her to Vulcan. Apparently this councilman had thought her important enough to accompany her transport ship all the way to Earth in order to meet her and escort her back to Vulcan. Thankfully, though, his attention was now focused on T'Rea, who was standing behind Amanda to her left. The two Vulcans exchanged a formal greeting and began to speak in low tones, quiet enough so that Amanda couldn't catch any of what they were saying.
The platform was rather empty. It held only T'Rea and her two companions, Amanda, and her parents, as well as the new addition of Councilman Skon, and his two bodyguards. Amanda felt a little swamped surrounded by so many Vulcans, but she knew it was silly to feel that way. She would soon be the only Human for hundreds of miles when she reached Shi'Kahr. Trying to banish these thoughts, Amanda turned to her parents, who were looking worried but proud. She tried to give them a reassuring smile, attempting also not to wonder if it was the last smile she would be giving in several months. Her father and mother seemed out of place here, on a landing platform at the edge of the planet, surrounded by alien people. Amanda suddenly felt a surge of homesickness, for the house she'd grown up in up north with her parents, and the relaxing, warm atmosphere that had always surrounded her. Looking at her parents' faces brought a flood of longing for that place, to go home and bury herself away from all of this new strangeness that had entered her life. She went to her parents, trying not to walk too quickly, and let herself be enveloped in the hug they offered to her.
"We'll miss you, sweetheart," Her mother said, although there was a smile on her face. "Don't worry. You can always call back to Earth."
"I know," Amanda said, a little muffled by her father's shoulder. "I'm sorry I'm acting like such a baby." She pulled away and wiped the beginnings of tears out of her eyes.
"Hey, that's all right." Her father said. "But there's nothing to be afraid about. You'll be brilliant. Just write us to let us know what amazing things you're doing, okay?"
Amanda couldn't help but grin at that. "Thanks, Dad." She said, looking up into the blue eyes that she shared with him. "I'll do my best."
"Of course you will. Better not dawdle, though, looks like they're ready to be off." Amanda's father gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, and her mother pulled her in for one last quick hug.
"Bye," She called out to them, hurrying back to the waiting Vulcans. It was like stepping out of a warm bathtub into a freezing cold shower. The same stony expression was on every Vulcan's face. Amanda felt her cheeks getting hot. Of course they would look at such a display of affection with a censorious eye, even one of disgust. That made her feel a little chilly inside. Couldn't they allow her this one last bit of Humanity before she tried to hide herself completely in Vulcan-ity? Amanda tried to think whether this was a word or not as she watched her luggage loaded onto the shuttle. Finally, it was time to go, and Amanda shot one quick look back at her parents before she climbed aboard. She smiled at them, genuinely, and as she turned away she tried to crystallize the image of their faces smiling back at her. Everything would be okay.
As the shuttle doors closed behind her, Amanda was incredibly surprised to see that she was not the only human who would be on the journey to Vulcan. There were two Human men sitting comfortably at the other end of the shuttle, chatting to each other and a younger Vulcan that Amanda didn't recognize. Councilman Skon had already disappeared into his own private chamber. but T'Rea glanced over her shoulder at Amanda and beckoned for her to join her.
"Miss Grayson, I would like to introduce you to the other representatives from Earth that will be accompanying you to Vulcan." T'Rea gestured to the two men. "This is Captain Vincent Prais, formerly of the USS Temerity." The older looking man smiled at Amanda and held out his hand for her to shake. Amanda glanced at T'Rea - Vulcans, as touch-telepaths, never sought contact with others. They viewed the Human custom of handshakes to be vulgar and lewd, to say the least. Obviously, this Captain Prais had no qualms about this, however. Amanda uncertainly accepted the handshake with only the briefest of touches.
"Good to meet you," The man said. He was in his early sixties, with short gray hair and beard. His eyes were dark, but kind, and the lines on his face were mostly from laughter, not from frowning. "You can call me Vincent. I'm a retired Captain." He said this with a smile, but Amanda was still wary of him. He(she?) wondered why he would greet her in a way that was clearly wrong to the Vulcans, especially when they were about to be completely surrounded by Vulcan customs.
"And this is Mr. Hollis Everard, of the Starfleet Academy." T'Rea indicated the younger man beside Prais. He was a smallish man, in neat dress and wearing serious glasses. "A pleasure," Everard said, although he didn't extend a handshake, for which Amanda was grateful.
Amanda looked to the third person, the younger Vulcan man. T'Rea, however, had moved on to sit with her bodyguards in another seating area. Without a word, the unnamed Vulcan stood and moved to go sit with her. Amanda couldn't help feeling surprised. Who was this person that T'Rea would not introduce to her?
"Don't worry about him," Prais said, chuckling. "They're all surly like that, aren't they? Have a seat." He said, indicating one of the comfortable looking chairs. Amanda obeyed, but she still felt on edge. "So you're the kid who's so good with Vulcan language? Good going."
Amanda blinked at Prais for a few moments before answering. "What? Oh, uh, yeah."
"We were expecting someone older!" Prais exclaimed, his large smile still on his face. "How old are you, 20?"
Amanda wasn't sure how to react to that. "I'm 26." She said, puzzled.
"Damn impressive." Said Prais, settling back in his chair. Amanda replied with a bemused "Thank you." She turned to Everard, who had been disinclined to speak thus far. "Mr. Everard, what do you do at the Academy?"
"I'm a botanist and researcher," Everard said, sounding rather gloomy. He was looking down into a glass of something that he crew had given him. "Do excuse me, I'm not my best on flights - bad motion sickness."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Amanda said. Prais laughed again.
"Poor Hollis. He's such a gentle soul. But that's what we need him for - he's here for the academics, I'm here for the politics, and you're here to make sure the rest of us don't go crazy, right?" He drank from his own glass, which Amanda supposed didn't contain the same contents as Everard's. She was about to say "No, I'm here to study Vulcan culture" but Prais cut her off with "Oh, sounds like we're entering the main ship."
Sure enough, there was the metallic sound of the shuttle being accepted into the large transport ship which would bear them to Vulcan. Amanda's face fell. She'd forgotten to look out the window as they left Earth. She stood up quickly and ran to the window, but the view of her home planet was already gone. It had been replaced by the inside of the transport's hangar bay. She sighed.
"Don't worry about it, Missy." Prais called. He and Everard had also stood up, and were making their way to the shuttle's exit. "You'll have plenty of opportunity to stare at space while we're on the transport. Three days to get to Vulcan - believe me, you'll be sick of space by the end of it!"