My Best Friend's Wedding
Disclaimer: This hurts. Really. I'm still not Victor Hugo.
AN: Here there be cuteness. Dedicated to Mary and Sophie-Louise, for being consistently lovely to me even when I'm blocked or I have nothing interesting to say or I just whine about stupid stuff.
Chapter eleven: Mad Dancing Skills
There is no way she is going to sit and pout at this reception, even though it is the reception for Marius' fucking wedding. She is going to dance with anyone she wants to dance with, in whatever way that she wants to dance, she is going to have fun and she is probably eventually going to show 'Jolras her underwear.
"Dance with me, Eppie?" Marius is holding out his hand for the second dance.
The first dance was all him and Cosette, only for the lovely couple, but now that Cosette is dancing with her stepfather, Marius is apparently looking for the nearest available woman to dance with – Enjolras does not really dance when others are watching, because he is still miffed that R noticed their secret dance at the bachelor party so there probably won't be any dancing at this reception. That makes her miffed too.
"If you're sure you want to dance with me," she shrugs and takes Marius' hand.
"You're my family too, Eppie," he tells her, and she cannot move a muscle.
She has nothing to say to that, and when she gets over the shock of him finally admitting just how much she means to him, she lets him lead her around the dance floor – hoping that her skills at dancing haven't deteriorated enough for her to step on his feet. Also, she hopes that his dancing skills have improved enough to save her feet – Marius has never been the best dancer, but most girls forgave him quickly because of the charm.
"Have you been taking dancing lessons?" she is stunned when her feet are safe.
"It is kind of a stupid wedding tradition," he rolls his eyes and she can finally see glimpses of the Marius she knew back in high school. "Still, your toes are totally thanking me for that right now. Or you should just thank Cosette. It was her idea."
The guy that she knew back in high school was the funny sort, and he never quite understood just why people loved him so much – he was much too awkward with emotions and feelings back then, but a charming smile from him could make most girls forget all about any unintended insults from his side.
"Her toes will be very happy," she quips. "I worried for them."
Marius laughs loudly at that, and she knows their friendship is on the mend. If he can laugh at her stupid sense of humor again, they are definitely going to be okay.
"She actually did ballet after she got adopted," he confides in her.
"I think Enjolras has taken dance classes too," she stage whispers to him before he lets her spin away in an exaggerated turn, making her giggle loudly at the dizziness that follows. "He just won't confirm it, but he's too good at it not to have been taught."
That is just one of the many things that she still has to find out about the fake love of her life: he is an extremely good dancer – at least she thinks so, not that she has all that many guys to compare him to. He has this grace about him that is part his having a wealthy upper-class background and part learned behavior. She has to get some more information about this out of him somehow. The curiosity is going to kill her.
"I am glad he makes you so happy," Marius smiles at her fondly.
"I have not smiled this much in a while," she admits, and she is not even lying about that part, because she wants to quit lying to Marius. "I can't believe I did not see him sooner."
In a way, she is not even lying about that last part. She has seen him as nothing more than the Marble Man stick in the mud for years now, and if this stupid charade has made anything better, it is her view on Gabriel Enjolras. He is much more complex than she has given her credit for, and she probably never would have gotten through the ordeal as well as she has if it had not been for him. R would have let her jump out of that cake, and the other boys would not have been able to stop her. Her 'Jolras did stop her.
"I never thought that the two of you would ever be able to get along," Marius is pondering their relationship now. "I knew the both of you in college and I will never forget that night when you told him to… Well, I do not even remember exactly what you said. I just remember that it was anatomically impossible and that it pissed him off. How you two got from there to happy in love is just beyond me."
She does not know if anyone remembers just what she said that night, but it was pretty much the turning point in an already complicated relationship. She was never going to like asshole Enjolras and he was never going to like her. But then life happened.
"I guess that we just grew up," she tells him, because they have both changed.
"We have all grown up," Marius scrunches up his face at the cliché of it all. "But I figured if him kicking your boyfriend's ass did not change a thing, then nothing would."
What Marius is talking about this time is just beyond her – and just the mere mention of that asshole Montparnasse is enough to make her flinch until the event Marius mentions actually starts to ring a bell. She knows that one of Marius' buddies gave her then boyfriend a stern talking to and that the guy probably threatened the asshole in a very serious way, but she does not remember enough about that night to figure out who her savior was. Only now she does, because who else could it have been but her knight in shining armor? He was saving her even way back when he hated her.
"It was Enjolras?" she has to verify this idea, because she cannot believe it.
"You did not know it was him?" Marius questions her in return.
In the mess of the few memories that she still has of that night, the words that her loving boyfriend spoke to her stand out the most. The words that he said will never lose their power to hurt her – just as much as the wounds still sting at times.
"My eye was kind of swollen shut," she shrugs as if the abuse did not matter.
"Eppie," Marius shoots a quick glance at the scar on her neck.
The scar is not that big or obvious, and only a few people even know that she has the remnants of a knife wound on her neck – Marius and the asshole being two of them, and her mysterious savior rounding out the group. She has never witnessed Enjolras paying any kind of particular attention to the small scar – though he has left a few hickeys on her neck and collarbone for the purpose of their charade.
"Look, that was years ago and I don't want to talk about him," she feels the skin surrounding the scar itching. "Just tell me that it was really 'Jolras."
When Marius nods, she is once again stunned into silence by just how much she owes her 'Jolras. She knows that he saved her life that night, because that hit he prevented was not the first of the night, and it would not have been the last either. She might have lived, or she might not have – the bleeding on her neck would have stopped eventually, but the blood loss was still pretty bad by the time she got to the hospital. She went to the hospital on her own that night, after running far, far away from Montparnasse and her mysterious savior, which is not something that she is particularly proud of. Her instincts took over and she ran away, leaving her savior with the most dangerous man she knew.
"I never saw his stupid face," she mutters, almost too distracted to dance.
"I got to the hospital because he told me you were there," Marius admits then.
She skips a step in their dance because this old information is overwhelming and her scar is still itching and now also stinging a little. It is certainly her closest call with death, and she occasionally still has nightmares of that day – nobody knows that about her.
"I cannot start crying," she keeps repeating that under her breath.
"I told you not to upset her," her savior himself shows up, seemingly angry with Marius for something. "Yet here she is, trying not to cry. What did you do this time?"
At the sound of his voice, she immediately lets go of Marius and turns to face him, probably with the hints of tears shining in her eyes. She is not that emotional of a person, and definitely not in public, but she cannot forget about this monumental revelation. Her dear 'Jolras is also her knight in shining armor and her mysterious savior. She is not sure if she is ever going to be able to thank him enough for being there that night.
"You were my savior that night," she holds her hand to his cheek.
"What are you talking about?" he tries to wipe away the tears that keep threatening to fall. "What night are you talking about? Please stop crying, 'Ponine."
As she takes another deep breath to keep from dissolving into a blubbering mess, his strong arms wrap around her once again – he has once again succumbed to his knight instincts and he has to keep her safe from any and all kinds of harm.
"You made Montparnasse go away," her voice is almost childlike with wonder.
"You told her, did you not," Enjolras immediately turns an accusing eye on Marius.
Why would he be so angry with Marius about him revealing his heroic act? She cannot help but be so grateful for Marius for telling her this secret, and be even more grateful that her Gabriel was there that night to save her life. She has no idea what to say about it to him other than thank you, and she knows that is not nearly enough.
"Thank you," she tells him anyway, before kissing him sweetly.
She makes this different from their previous kisses on purpose, because this kiss is not for the same purpose as those other kisses. This one is purely meant for the two of them, and not for any person watching them together. This kiss is meant to show him how much he has already come to mean to her. It is meant to show him how grateful she is to still be alive today to share this moment with him. This kiss means everything that she can give to him, so it is soft and gentle and warm and almost loving.
When she breaks away from him, she sways back into him with the sheer want of doing that again, but she knows that she cannot do that. He is staring at her with so much surprise in those eyes that have turned darker with want. She aches.
"You can still see the scar," he then notices the line on her neck.
His hand is easily led to that very place, and he is softly stroking the skin before she has even thought about the liberties that she is currently granting him. She never lets anyone get this close to her heart and mind and soul, but he is touching her skin with such reverence that the only response she has is a shuddered breath – she has to make a real effort not to start purring like a cat at his very touch.
"I will leave the two of you to it," Marius steps away with a big grin on his face.
He lets his hand drop from her neck to her waist, obviously meaning to start dancing with her. She wishes that they could have stayed like they were before, but the electricity that starts crackling when his other hand reaches her waist as well is too strong for her to resist. His hands are warm and still so gentle, and she can feel them through the fabric of her pretty red dress. Instead of looping her arms around his neck like they did before, she chooses to pillow her head on his chest.
She just needs to hear his heart beating strong.
It starts to feel way too intimate for a fake relationship within a minute, and she resumes her previous position with her arms around his neck, too afraid and confused to even look him in the eyes. His thumbs are moving on her waist, and a shiver rolls down her spine so slowly that she wonders if it will ever stop – and if she even wants it to.
He stops after that shiver, and before she can tell herself to stay silent she speaks up.
"Don't stop," she breathes, since she does not want the feeling to go away.
There is no way to move closer to him without the two of them breaking the laws of physics, so she has to stay as she is, feeling the thrum of his body touching hers in so many places – this sexual frustration thing does not seem to be going away any time soon, and she has no idea how to deal with it when he is so close to her all of the time, tempting her just by being who he is. Fuck, shit, bugger, crap. Fuck!
She starts playing with the hair at his nape as her stupid way to get revenge for the feelings of heat threatening to take over her body. Her nails are not long and manicured like the nails of most of the girls he could be with right now, but she manages to exert the right kind of pressure to make him groan softly.
They are trying to be subtle in front of Marius' family and their friends, but there is obviously something going on between the two of them that not even she understands.
"This is not suitable," he manages to stammer.
"Just stop talking," she shushes him gently, pressing her hips into his.
That coaxes another sharp breath from him, which was the goal of it anyway. With a quick look around, she makes sure that they are not being watched too attentively by anyone – which gives her enough reason to continue.
"Éponine," he breathes her name, and it makes everything even more electric.
Only she cannot say anything in response, because saying his first name would completely break the spell – he would flinch away from her and everything would be over. His last name would just be weird in an intimate moment like this one, and she does not want to call him by a stupid nickname meant only to annoy him. There is nothing that she can say, because there is still so much hidden beneath the surface that he refuses to talk about with her. There are too many secrets still.
The moment is over when another dancing couple bumps into them. Their dance stills as the music changes to something happy and upbeat. All they can do is stare at each other.
"Let's dance, bitches," R is obviously pretty drunk.
"Go drink some water first," she orders him around. "Then come back for a dance."
Enjolras seems very surprised that R manages to follow that order, as their friend rushes towards the bar, and quickly comes back to show them a glass filled with clear liquid – she sniffs it to make sure it's not alcoholic, and he throws it back in one big gulp.
"Good boy," Enjolras responds with a roll of his eyes.
They are both unhappy with the interruption of their moment – she can tell because his gaze alone manages to lift her core temperature by several degrees – and they are trying not to let it show too much to R. Enjolras stares at her and she can still feel phantom fingers rubbing back and worth around her waist and his thighs pressed against hers, even though they are now a few feet apart, with R right next to them.
"Put on your boogie shoes," R shouts, before grabbing some of their other friends.
She has gotten more than enough proof that Gabriel Enjolras is indeed physically attracted to her, but she still has absolutely no idea what to do about it – if she should actually do something about it. While she has no doubts that the sex between the two of them has the potential to be totally hot, she thinks the fallout of giving in to that attraction has the potential to be a total catastrophe. He is her friend now, and she does not randomly sleep with her friends – especially not her celibate friends, of which there is only one. Which is basically how this problem started.
"These heels are not boogie shoes," she whispers to 'Jolras, sotto voce.
"Let me know when you need a pick-me-up," he replies to that, still so witty even at a tense moment like this one. "Or if you need the boys to carry your shoes."
Just as she wants to give him an equally witty response to that, R comes back, dragging his poor date and several of the Amis and their dates along with him. He is the life of the party as usual, and while some of the Amis act like they do not want to be out on the dance floor, they are secretly enjoying it very much – she knows the boys well enough.
Jehan begins to dance like he just escaped from the ballet, and Melody follows his lead without hesitation – the girl is a professional after all, having danced Swan Lake more times than even she can stomach. Joe Leigh and Bossuet look on with love, and Éponine really does not want to get into that relationship dynamic. As long as it works for them, she is going to be okay with it. As soon as there is trouble, she will be ready to kick butt.
"You must dance with me," R orders her, neglecting his date.
"Dance with your date first," she orders in return, feeling immature enough to stick her tongue out at him. "This is protocol, dude. Have you still not learned?"
Of course, protocol is not the only reason why she has yet again found herself dancing with her 'Jolras. She just really wants to continue being close to him and having fun while he is right there having fun with her. So she lets him launch her into the most ridiculously exaggerated swing dance moves with a big smile on her face. He is really going for it, and seeing him relatively loose and relaxed is just another aphrodisiac for her want for him, but she can hold that off just a bit longer.
"I might be hesitant to part with my date," Enjolras leads her into a spin.
"He likes me," she quips, eyes wide. "He really likes me!"
That line is followed by a deep dip that leaves her hair almost touching the floor and her leg practically wrapped around his waist – she trusts him to not let her fall, but she knows that R can be a tool and ruin the moment by 'accidentally' bumping into the two of them, hoping they will fall to the floor in a blur of tangled limbs. Basically, R just wants the two of them to end up on top of each other – and that is not happening in public.
The last addendum to that thought is still a surprise to her, because she had never thought to be so attracted to this guy. Now that she is, she still has no idea how to proceed with it, so she is going to try not to think about it too much.
He seems to be making that last part quite difficult by just being himself.
"My turn," she shouts as she spins him around this time.
"Excellent, my lady," is the pleased response from him. "We are doing well."
They are a couple of dorks, and she has no problem with that at the moment. When she is with the Amis, her "give a damn" complex – at least when it comes to embarrassment – is just completely busted, because she is having too much fun to care even the slightest bit about just what other people might think of them. It is much more interesting to look at Melody changing dancing styles from serious ballet to krumping without missing a beat, and Jehan pulling out silly moves nobody even knew that he had. This is better.
"Your friends are hilarious," she can hear R's date saying.
"That we are," she shouts at the couple, feeling free and happy for the first time in a very long while. "Just stay with us long enough and it will rub off on you."
As soon as she is done talking, she is immediately whisked away from Enjolras again by an overzealous Jehan, who leads her on an exaggerated version of a tango, making her giggle like the innocent teenage girl she never got to be.
She loves these boys – she loves all of them, she really does.
Marius' grandfather is looking on disapprovingly, but even the newlyweds themselves have now joined the group, mixing moves from every dancing style that they have ever known. R is busting out a pretty decent robot with his date, and Cosette is busting some salsa moves. She is quickly joined by Feuilly, who is surprisingly good at most forms of ballroom and Latin dancing. Marius is distracted by his bride's dancing, leaving him open for a sneak attack in the form of Courfeyrac making him do the running man and any other old Hammer move that he can think of.
She can barely breathe because she is laughing so loudly. Jehan is almost disappointed that she cannot keep dancing, but he keeps going until Enjolras steals her back again.
"Hello you," he is smiling at her in his typical beatific way.
The person she most wants to dance with for the rest of her night is him, so she quickly decides to place one hand in his and the other near his shoulder, trying to take the right position for ballroom dancing. He follows her lead almost immediately, and the warmth of his hand on her shoulder blade only fans the fire already going inside of her.
"You took lessons, did you not?" she just has to ask him that.
"My parents made me do it," he finally confesses – or it feels like 'finally' to her. "I am now proficient in a number of dance styles. Which style would you like to start with?"
It is everything that she ever wanted, to be honest. She likes to dance and have fun, and now she got him to reveal his dancing skills without prodding too much. And he is still touching her, which is basically the best bonus she could ever ask for on this. His hand burns right through the little fabric between it and the skin of her back, and she is honestly just so tempted to try to seduce him this night – she knows that she might even succeed by the way his fingers move on her skin and the way his eyes continue to burn with the same want for her as she has for him. Can she risk it? Does she want to risk it?
"Anything," she breathes, and she is not just talking about dancing anymore.
She is tempted to just stay like this forever – no thoughts of work or stupid thoughts of still loving Marius – everything would be okay and she would be warm and safe. The only downside appears that she would be eternally turned on without ever having the opportunity for release. That would really suck.
"I am very tempted to quote this Anastasia scene," she ponders as he leads her around the dance floor with style and grace. "But we have not stopped spinning yet!"
There is not that much spinning, but she is still so breathless and close to feeling dizzy from this trance they are in. She would not be able to tell where her other friends are, and she would not even be able to tell you where Marius was. She is barely able to remember her own name at this point, because they have spun a world with this dance where nothing hurts and everything is warm and beautiful and fucking hot!
"Do you want to stop?" he asks her then, slightly breathless.
"Keep going," her voice is hoarse and makes her think of other things.
In her mind, they are in bed and he is once again doing everything right and she is begging him not to stop doing what he is doing. She never begs for anything, especially not in bed, but for him she would do it twice.
"I won't stop," he promises in return, and her breath hitches.
"What are we doing?" she has to ask him, and she hopes it will not ruin their moment.
He is quiet for a while as he tries to formulate the right answer, and they continue to take turns around the room while still in their own little world. The music feels barely audible over the loud beating of her heart, and there is nothing else to think about other than these feelings and his touch and his nearness. There is nothing else but him, and that is just about the most terrifying thing in the whole wide world.
"I don't know either," is the only response he has for her.
This attraction is probably even more terrifying for him than it is for her. Sure, he has not been in love with someone else for most of his life like she has been with Marius since she was about eleven years old, but he has probably never felt this way, making it all the more scary to him. She cannot convince him to throw years of celibacy away over an attraction that she cannot even deal with herself. She has better forget about this along with her stupid feelings for Marius – she has to keep trying to let it go.
"I am sorry for ruining your perfect celibacy record," she tells him, sad smile on her face.
"Nothing is ruined yet," he tells her, careful to keep his face completely blank.
His use of the word ruin makes her wonder if she should even bother with this, because she knows that he will be ruined if she tries this with him – she is terrible at dealing with men once the sex is over and the day has dawned. It would be a really bad thing.
"Dance with me," R takes her away from her 'Jolras.
"Thank you," she tells him, hoping that her confused feelings do not show.
Apparently she is quite obvious to her friend, because the worried look on R's face really does not suit the happy atmosphere at this wedding. Still, she has no need to talk of this any longer than she absolutely has to, and he seems to understand that, because he drags her into the middle of the group of men and their dates, leaving them to perform the silliest dance moves that they can possibly think of at that moment.
She is in the middle of the Carlton when she spots him looking at the group with a sad look on his face. This makes her all the more determined to just be his friend. She cannot ruin the dynamics of this group; she decides this as Combeferre drags Enjolras into the group with the rest of them. These men are her friends, and she will not ruin that.
AN: Say it with me… AWWWWWWWW. Anyway, just let me know your favorite parts/lines/EVERYTHING! Chapter twelve will be a change of pace, so get ready for that – I do know chapter thirteen will be a fan favorite. Love you all!