My Best Friend's Wedding
Disclaimer: I don't think Victor Hugo would get demands to hook these two up already =P
AN: I am overwhelmed by all of the love I have gotten for that last chapter. You all have no idea how much that means to me – when bitches try to get me down, I can think of all of you and believe that I'm worth something. Thank you!
Chapter twelve: Awkward is the Watchword
They are an hour away from home when she realizes that everything could change the very second they land. Their adventure is over – and they managed to convince Marius and repair a very broken friendship – and now there is absolutely nothing left between the two of them. He could walk away and never have to see her again.
His hands are clinging to his seat tightly, and she wonders if he is actually afraid of flying and he just does not want to talk about that with her. Bringing it up would probably just make things awkward, so she promises herself to stay silent a bit longer.
"Would you two care for another drink?" another visit from a flight attendant.
"We'll both have a glass of water," she orders for the both of them, seeing as her 'Jolras appears to be trying to keep the plane in the air by force of will.
The flight attendant nods and prepares the drinks for the both of them, as Enjolras continues to stare straight ahead. She smiles at the other woman as she takes the drinks and prepares to coax 'Jolras back into the land of the living, functional people. The plastic cups are cool in her hands, and she carefully turns closer to him, hoping that he will respond to her presence rather than leaving her to throw his water at him.
"Do you want your water in your mouth or over your head?" she jokes.
"What are you talking about?" he has awoken from his trance and takes one of the cups from her. "Don't start a water fight on a plane, Éponine."
It would be a lovely idea to start a water fight anywhere, but she really does not want to cause trouble on the way home as well – he just might kill her for that, especially now that he appears to be so very stressed and tense. She has many ways to make him relax, but he would probably consider most of those ways to be completely indecent – and they probably would be really complicated on a plane. It would be too easy to get discovered and create an even more awkward situation for the both of them.
"Will you still be my friend when we have landed?" she just blurts it out.
"Where is this coming from?" he asks instead of answering her question.
She should not have said a thing, and she knows that well, but she cannot just let this friendship just slip her by because she was too scared to say something. She does not particularly want to show her vulnerable side by admitting that she wants him by her side pretty much for the rest of her life, but she will have to do that when push comes to shove and he will not admit a single thing. She may have given up on ever finding out just how magical his hands are, but she still wants to keep him around.
"You can forget all about me once we have landed," she tries to explain what she means.
It would probably be pretty easy for him to let her go. He would even be better off without the stupid attraction distracting him from the person that he wants to be. He has better things to achieve than to have sex with her, and if he lets her go those things will be more easily accomplished. She would only be a stupid afterthought at that point.
"Why would you think that I would do that?" he seems surprised at the idea.
"I have never had a real friend who was not Marius," she feels embarrassed at having to explain her stupid life story. "I do not have the best luck with these things."
There have been mistakes before, of girls who only wanted to be her friend to get closer to Marius, or of men who were only friends with her to hopefully get some good sex out of her. Marius has been her only exception so far, and while Enjolras is a good soul, she would not want him to do anything stupid on her behalf. She really does want to trust him in this, but she does not want to get her hopes up too much either.
"Would you even want me to be your friend?" Enjolras seems skeptical of this.
"Honestly, I am just hanging out with you for your couch," she plays this as straight as she can, her face completely blank. "Now that I have sat on that couch, I am never letting it out of my life again. Basically, you are going to be stuck with me for a long time."
She would spend every night for the rest of her life on that couch if he let her – though that exaggeration may be a bit too much. He will eventually find someone to love who is not a total wreck with a fucked up past who is too traumatized to have a mature and adult relationship with anyone. At that point, she will have to get off that couch and move on again. She is already doing that now, and it does not hurt as much as she expected it would – so she believes that she will be able to do it again.
"As long as I do not get rid of the couch," he tries to be clever.
"You are never going to be allowed to get rid of that couch," she smiles at him.
He should know that he means more to her than that couch ever will, but she is going to let him read between the lines about the couch being more of a metaphor for her need to be close to him for the rest of her natural born life.
"You will just have to convince me," he is positively flirtatious.
"I have my ways," she responds in kind.
They are going to keep getting in trouble if they cannot get this attraction in check.
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A month later
It is just another boring day at work, because not even on her birthday is she excused from conversations with her most troublesome students. She has twenty more minutes to go until she can break for lunch – and spend that time sipping crappy vending machine coffee and waiting for someone to remember that it is, in fact, her birthday.
"Was it really necessary to set the locker on fire, Sebastian?" she puts on her nicest voice.
"It was covered in pictures of Justin Bieber," the disgust and indignation showing on young Sebastian's face makes her fight to hide her laughter. "I cannot let an insult like that go by without retaliation. For Pete's sake, the guy thinks that Anne Frank would have been a Belieber. He is self-absorbed and disgusting, and the presence of his face on the inside of my locker is a disgrace to any person deeming themselves intelligent."
She has to admit that Sebastian Anderson is her new favorite student, because he reminds her of all the most hilarious and rebellious things about her friends. The vocabulary he uses and the tendency that he has towards trying to accomplish some sort of equality and creating a better world; that is all Enjolras. His self-destructive tendencies – like setting lockers on fire – make her think of R and Bahorel, but mostly of her dear R and his cynical ideas on how to change the world for the better. Still, the boy Sebastian is also charming enough to be like Courfeyrac, and well spoken like Jehan, and he has philosophical ideals that remind her of Combeferre.
All in all, Mr. Anderson – oh, honestly, that reference has to get out of her head at some point – is both a delight to have in her office and the most annoying repeat customer that she has ever come across. No matter what she tells him, he will still come back every single week for the rest of his high school career. Still, she continues to try.
"While I agree with you on Bieber's lack of merits," she starts another pointless speech to convince him to end his destruction of school property, "I still cannot condone the destruction of an entire row of lockers. I am sure that you and Emily can figure out a better and more productive way to deal with your differences."
Those two are obviously going to end up having sex within the year. Sebastian Anderson and Emily Dupont are two of the plagues of the school, and their differences of opinion leave the whole school trembling in their wake. She cannot count the times that principal Javert has brought the two of them to her office to talk through their issues – she is just glad that the man does not blame her for being unable to fix the complex relationship between these two students. Nothing has worked so far, and she is starting to think that they should just have sex and deal with the fallout.
It is ridiculous advice to give when she is too scared to take a step like that one.
"Who says that this has anything to do with Dupont?" Sebastian is very evasive.
"I know that she put the Bieber pictures in your locker," she smiles her most terrifying smile at him. "She actually confessed to that to lessen your punishment. It is really adorable how the two of you keep flirting with each other. I just thought that pulling the metaphorical pigtails ended in elementary school."
One day she will catch the two of them making out in one of the typical spots, and when she does she will finally win the stupid bet that she has had with principal Javert since these two were in freshman year. The guy is too clueless about the craziness in high school relationships, and she is happy to take advantage of that so that she will finally be able to afford a decent DVD player so that she can watch movies again rather than say a prayer for her old player to do anything other than threaten to explode again.
"This is not flirting," Sebastian protests the mere idea of it vehemently.
"Maybe it isn't," she goes along with him because she does not want to be just another adult who does not believe him. "There is still the problem of you lighting an entire row of lockers on fire. We will be contacting your parents about this, and they will probably pay for the damage, but I am still not sure how to punish you enough to keep you from doing something like this again when Emily stuffs your locker with One Direction."
Knowing these kids like she does – and she feels that she knows them after over three years of them spending time in her office almost every week – she knows that a similar event is just days away from happening. That is how it has always been.
Emily Dupont and Sebastian Anderson have never gotten along for long.
"One Direction is not nearly as problematic," he immediately starts arguing.
"Do you really want to focus on that part of the discussion?" she lets him think on that.
While she loves that Sebastian has no qualms about admitting that a boy band is not all that bad – most boys his age would be so worried about their masculinity – this is probably not the time to start a discussion on the merits of contemporary pop artists and their connection to deeper issues. This is the point where he grovels like a good little student and promises not to try something like this again. Only she is not sure whether she can believe him, because the stunts that Emily and he keep pulling are escalating and it is getting a bit too dangerous to keep letting it go.
"What was it you wanted to tell me?" he shifts gears and tries to look professional.
"Happy birthday to you," a familiar voice sings as the door opens.
This cannot be happening to her right now. Her 'Jolras is not stepping into her office carrying a mini cheesecake only big enough for two people at the most – with a single candle on top of the adorable food. He does not have a party hat, but he is not wearing a tie and the top buttons on his shirt are not buttoned. She might be drooling on her desk at this point, and she has to pinch herself to make sure that this is actually happening.
"But, 'Jolras," she stammers, lost for words.
It has only been about a week since she last saw him, because they have made a habit of spending one evening a week together. She figures that the Amis put him up to it, but she is not going to mind if it leads to situations like the one that they were in two weeks ago, when she was clumsy and spilled wine on his shirt. She got a nice look at him shirtless, until he got embarrassed and covered himself up. So not only did she get to spend a nice evening with a friend – she also got some ogling done.
"Is this your boyfriend, Miss T?" Sebastian looks happy at this bit of gossip.
"This is none of your business, Sebastian," she reprimands, but she also knows that it is too late to keep a lid on this thing. "We are going to reschedule our meeting for after lunch. You need to come up with a list of punishments for yourself by then."
Honestly, she is just trying to distract him from what is going on right in front of him, even though she knows that while Sebastian is a lot of thing, stupid is definitely not one of them. She wishes she could have planned a clueless freshman for this spot, but she hardly ever finds a clueless freshman in her office – they never cause trouble.
"Sebastian Anderson," her student is completely disregarding her.
"Gabriel Enjolras," her 'Jolras just goes along with it, placing the precious cheesecake in front of her to attempt to distract her with it. "Happy birthday, 'Ponine."
Sebastian is staring at the two of them with thinly-disguised interest, and she really just wants to send him away, but Enjolras is right there and looking at her with those eyes of his and there is no way that she can even think of anything other than him.
"Why are you here?" she is trying not to freak out too much.
"I am taking you to lunch for your birthday," he is too calm for this. "But first, I want to congratulate you on turning twenty-eight, if you will let me."
Judging by the look on his face, she should really send her student away before the boy catches an eyeful of something seriously inappropriate. Enjolras is looking as if he basically wants to devour her, and she is thinking of places where she can demand to have a birthday kiss – and she is not even thinking about her mouth.
"You can go now, Sebastian," she sends the boy away from her office.
"Have fun with your boyfriend," the cheeky little shit says before he scampers off.
She does want to call that shit out on it, but at the moment she is much more interested in locking her office door behind him so that she and 'Jolras can have some privacy for their celebration – she is not intending for this to sound as dirty as it does, but the chemistry is still there after a month, and she is still so very frustrated about not being able to move on from these feelings. She still wants him too badly.
"How about a birthday kiss?" Enjolras smiles at her, and she takes a deep breath.
Instead of giving him an answer to his question verbally, she struts over to where he is standing and yanks his face closer to hers, sealing their lips together in a kiss that is as electric as it is dangerous to her sanity. His mouth still fits over hers perfectly, and he can still do that magical thing with his tongue that makes her moan a little too loudly for their current circumstances. For a couple that started out as just being faked for their friend's benefit, the chemistry between the two of them is certainly very real.
"Hey," he tells her as they break apart to breathe.
"Hey you," she replies, fighting the grin that is threatening to take over her face.
She feels like a stupid and naïve teenager in love, and that is the most terrifying thing in the world because Enjolras is just her friend who is trying to make her happy on her stupid birthday, and they are not going to be any more than friends – friends who have made out on several occasions and are way too attracted to each other to stay platonic.
Fuck! She is going to get hurt again, and she already knows it.
"Another kiss for luck?" she pleads, because she does not want it to be over yet.
He acquiesces and pulls her close for another kiss, and even though it is probably the worst thing that she could be doing at this point, she lets him sit her down on her desk and she wraps her legs around his waist. Their frames are now so close together it would be almost impossible for air to find its way between the two of them. He moves his kisses from her mouth to her neck and she gasps into the silent office.
"Please, 'Jolras," she finds herself begging.
There will be multiple hickeys on her neck after this birthday visit, and she cannot find it in herself to feel sorry about that, no matter how much her students will attempt to gossip about this, or how much they will try to tease her about it.
His only response to her passionate pleas for him to please go on is to suck harder at her neck and to rock his hips gently into hers, completely taking her breath away as she feels herself getting more and more turned on by his actions. She wants him so badly, and she digs her nails into his clothes back to pull him even closer to her.
Her hands move to his ass almost without thought, and as she pulls him closer again, something seems to change within him, and he takes a step back from her.
"What's wrong?" she asks, feeling colder without him surrounding her.
Speaking up does not help, because it only makes him take another step away from where she is, left on her own desk with her clothes all askew, her hair messed up, and several big hickeys forming on her neck. She does not even know what she did wrong, but he is now on the other side of her office and he seems to be having problems looking her in the eyes. They are both breathing hard, but there is no other sound.
"Enjolras?" she calls his name, hoping that will bring him back somehow.
"Shall we go out for lunch?" he pretends as if absolutely nothing happened between the two of them just now. "My treat. There is a great place just around the corner."
There is nothing else to do but to right her clothes and to grab her lovely cheesecake – they are so lucky that they did not ruin the thing during their more passionate moments together – because he has nothing else to say to her at this point.
Would this be the moment when she alienated him from her forever?
"Let me just grab my birthday cake," she tries to joke as he unlocks the door.
With all of her stuff with her, she still does not feel ready to leave the relative sanctuary of her office to spend more time in public with him. She hopes that the forming hickeys are not going to be too obvious to her students, because they will definitely call her out on making out with her boyfriend during school hours, in the office where she is supposed to stay professional at all times. Yep, she screwed up big time.
As she follows 'Jolras out the room and into the hallway, she mentally prepares herself.
"Nice going Miss T," some of the popular girls are cheering her on.
She tries to ignore the catcalls and cheering as much as she can, but she is aware that there is a blush creeping up on her – his face is red as well, which is pretty much the only bonus of the whole thing. Still, they are both silent until they are outside.
There is nothing to say about this situation.
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She could ignore the first five-minute silence and write it off as a product of the awkward Birthday Kiss Incident, but now that there is even more silence between the two of them, she knows that she really has to do something about it.
"Can you please just look at me again?" she asks, her voice cracking.
Her cheesecake is carefully boxed up, after having blown out the candle on the first go, leading to the first long awkward silence. She gets to take that back to work and to her apartment, where she can eat it all by herself as she spends her birthday alone, because Azelma is out of town for work and Gavroche has a big paper she ordered him to work on rather than to attempt to cheer her up on this dreadful day. It was supposed to be a good one, but everything changed when Marius married Cosette.
"Are you doing anything else to celebrate your birthday?" he ignores her question.
"There is not much to do," she tells him, tired of his evasiveness, but ready to play along with him for now. "I have to work this afternoon, and I have to work again tomorrow, so there is no partying for me. Besides, my sister is out of town, and my brother has one of the biggest papers in the world left to write. I am just going to go to bed early."
He has nothing interesting to say to that, or at least, that is how it seems when the look on his face does not change and he says nothing in response to her explanation of her stupid first world problems. She feels like an idiot, because it should not matter that she does not really have anyone to spend her twenty-eighth birthday with, because she is more than old enough to be responsible about this. She would not even want to go out and party like she did in college, but she really does not want to be alone on her birthday either, no matter what she said to her siblings. Ugh, she is a bit of a mess.
"That sounds like a very responsible birthday," he echoes her thoughts.
"It also sounds really boring," she laughs darkly, knowing now that he will not care.
His form is hunched on one of the restaurant's fancy seats and he is not looking her in the eyes. Instead he appears to be eyeing the pretty blonde waitress who has constantly been trying to flirt with him. Just the idea of him looking at this other woman tears her to pieces. She is jealous over a man who is never going to be hers.
Once again, she has picked the most complicated guy.
"Well, we can't all be the partying kind," his voice is trying to sound reassuring.
"What are your plans for the day?" she is forced to ask a stupid, casual question because he is just not giving her anything else to go with. "No wild parties?"
She cannot even picture him at any wild parties. The wildest party that he has ever been to was Marius' bachelor party, and that was only wild for him because R tricked him with the drinks, and because he had to look at her in that stupid piece of trash dress – strictly to convince her to not jump out of a damn cake. She was a mess that night too, and he once again had to come to the rescue. While she appreciates him being there for her, she wishes that she would not need so much of his help.
On her twenty-eighth birthday, she is still strong and independent.
"It is my friend's birthday," he is finally noticing her presence again. "So I am just going to be around until she decides that she is sick of me."
They share a smile and she knows that even if she can never have anything more of him, at least she will still be able to have his friendship. That has to be enough.
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She is back in her office when she hears the commotion starting in the hallway.
"I do not believe you," she recognizes the voice of Emily Dupont, and she immediately fears another big outburst between her and Sebastian Anderson. "You really saw Miss T with her secret boyfriend? And he was that famous lawyer?"
Wait, her 'Jolras is actually famous as a lawyer? That is a twist. She has not been to his work, and he does not like to talk about it too much when he is with her – even though she is still really interested in his cases, because he always manages to pick the people who need his help the most. He is a kind soul like very few other lawyers in this corrupt world, and she just knows that he has saved so many people already.
"How is Curly famous?" Sebastian asks the question loudly.
"He is the best human rights lawyer in the state," Emily argues vehemently, always interested in knowing something that Sebastian does not know. "He just finished this huge gay rights case. My moms are probably some of his biggest fans."
That makes her just about burst with pride, because he is her 'Jolras and she is just so happy that people are starting to see just how amazing he is.
"So miss T is doing the super lawyer?" Sebastian makes himself sound stupid.
"Do not try that trick on me," Emily has to call him out on it. "You like miss T, and not just because she's attractive. Do not act like a dumbass because you are trying to make sure that you are overheard and sent to her office again."
These two just want to know what is going on with her and Enjolras, and she is going to be a little wrong and go about her usual conversations with them differently. She can use this interest that they have in her relationship to get these two kids to maybe reveal things about themselves and to get them to cooperate a bit more in the future. It may be a bit unethical of her to go about it this way, but she is going to try a way that works.
"I have an appointment," Sebastian sounds smug.
"And you are late," she enters into the conversation, surprising both of the teenagers who were way too caught up in each other to notice her. "Both of you, in here. Now!"
That scares them into complying, which makes things a lot easier for her. They both sit down in their assigned chairs – they debated which chair to sit in the first time they were here, so she assigned them seats to make them stop fighting.
"Discussing the personal lives of teachers and faculty members is not appropriate," she chides the both of them. "I know that he should not have been at the school, and I have told him that, but my private life is still not up for discussion by anyone."
It will not stop the rumors that are currently flying around the school, but it will make them keep it from where she can hear, and that is all that she can ask for at this point – with the hickeys that he left still coloring her neck and her mind still muddled after the most awkward lunch that she has ever experienced.
"You are really with Gabriel Enjolras?" Emily has to ask her.
"I have known 'Jolras for about ten years now," is all that she admits to in front of these students. "Now will you two get to the bottom of the locker incident for me? Destruction of school property is much more serious business at this point in time."
The shared look between the two of them reminds her of her partner in crime days almost a month ago, when things were still so much simpler between her and Enjolras and she could still look at him without wanting to tear his clothes off. She cannot deal with these feelings for much longer, and she is tempted to have a one-night-stand to take the edge of, only sleeping with someone other than him would feel wrong. That makes her suspicious that her feelings are more than lust and friendship, which is not something that she needs in her life ever again – not after this thing with Marius.
She cannot wreck his celibacy for her own selfish needs.
Her phone rings, sounding out the tones of "the Revolution" by the Beatles, which is Enjolras' ringtone of choice – she think it rather suits him. She smiles as she picks up.
"Hey you," she echoes their previous words without even thinking about them.
"You forgot your cheesecake," he stammers in response.
Her students are bound to figure out just who is calling her just by the stupid look on her face and the way she is smiling as if there is a coat hanger stuck in her mouth. This whole thing between her and Enjolras is ridiculous. It really needs to stop.
"You can come by and bring it to my office," she finds herself flirting.
"I know what happened there last time," he replies, his voice taking on that hoarse quality that she loves so much. "Maybe we should not risk it. There are too many impressionable students around, and you are supposed to be working."
She was working until he interrupted her – just saying. But sure, she will continue working because she actually really likes this job and these kids that she is taking care of – even if she only sees most of them about once a week or less. She knows most of the kids in this school and while some of them can be absolute shits, she will listen to all of them and help them when they need her to. She likes working here.
"I still want my birthday cake," she pouts, even though he won't be able to see it.
"You can come by my place and pick it up after work," he offers.
If she goes by his place, she will first have to make out with his couch a bit more – meaning that she will dive on top of it and not let go for most of the night, which is a pretty good comparison to her making out with an actual person. There is just much less kissing, but she is usually more comfortable with the couch than with a person – unless it is the owner of said awesome couch, when he is not being too awkward.
"Let's have dinner," she does her best Irene Adler impression.
"As long as you are just talking of dinner," he seems to have understood the reference.
This is just another piece of evidence that he does not want them to be anything more than they already are. And with the way that he was keeping his distance from her at lunch, she is worried that they might downgrade from friends to casual acquaintances who rarely see each other. She is once again the more invested person in a friendship.
"Scout's honor," she jokes. "I'm getting back to work. See you tonight!"
It is easier to hang up before he gets another chance to say something that she really does not want to hear. This situation is getting much too familiar.
Fuck! Does this mean she is aiming for a relationship rather than just sex?
"So, you two," she sits down and addresses her students to distract herself from these painful truths. "Tell me just what went on with Bieber and the fiery lockers."
AN: Yes, I had to get in a few digs at Bieber. My apologies – but as a Dutchie I was super offended by the Anne Frank situation.
Also: Sebastian Anderson is a shout-out to the name I've seen used for Enjolras often, and the last name is because of my Darren Criss obsession. Sorry not sorry. (And yes, there was another Sherlock reference.)
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