Amanda awoke the next morning feeling groggy and unhappy. Her limbs were heavy with sleep as she pushed the covers off and sat up. She felt an ache in her joints that felt more like a mental weariness than a physical one. Still, she had a full day ahead of her, and she needed to get up and going. As she slid her legs off the bed and touched her bare toes to the floor, Amanda looked out her huge window at the cityscape stretched out before her. The morning sunlight had turned all the buildings pink and orange and purple, a myriad of colors instead of their normal dusky red. The sky itself was stained with the dawn tide, yellow and orange and pink stretching long fingers into the blue. There must be something in the atmosphere of Vulcan to make sunrises like this, Amanda thought to herself as she got out of bed. Or perhaps the sun prefers to shine brighter here.
Amanda chose a simply cut lavender dress to wear. It was of a brighter color than her other casual outfits, for which reason Amanda selected it. She felt as though she needed a little color in her world today - a piece of the morning sky to carry with her and protect her nervous soul.
T'Iva greeted her in the kitchen in her normal gentle tones. Amanda responded with a half-hearted "Ha'tha ti'lu, T'Iva," before sitting down to her breakfast. There was already food on her plate; a nutty sweet bread that was one of Amanda's particular favorites. Amanda wondered whether T'Iva had purchased it as a special treat - she must have heard the ruckus last night. Whether it was intentional or not, Amanda was grateful to her.
She was just finishing her breakfast tea when T'Iva approached her again. "T'sai, Trensu - Master Ataur - left this message for you yesterday afternoon." Amanda took it from her with a nod of thanks, surprised to feel the smooth texture of the rice paper between her fingers. The written word was, for most people, obsolete, although some hand-wrote personal notes or messages. Amanda had not expected a preference for handwriting from a Vulcan, but then again, Ataur was rather eccentric. She flipped open the note and read in the elegant hand:
Ashal-Amanda,
I hope I did not offend you this afternoon. I only wish to give you information that you need. Please remember: your heart and mind are your own. No one can force to you to do something that you do not yourself desire to do.
Dakh pthak. Nam-tor ri ret na'fan-kitok fa tu dakh pthak.
Yours,
Ataur
Amanda stared at the note for a long moment. "Dakh pthak." She repeated to herself quietly. Cast out fear. There is no room for anything else until you cast out fear. A Surakian saying, and although Amanda herself did not follow his teachings, she felt oddly comforted by the words. Cast out fear. Amanda took a deep breath and tucked the note into a pocket of her dress. She would be stronger now; there was no reason to be afraid.
Amanda spent the rest of the day with Ataur's words buzzing through her head. She was somewhat distracted in her class, and the children were rowdier than usual, although whether that was cause and effect Amanda couldn't say. Since T'Dia's little outburst, no more tears had been shed, but her class was far more argumentative, and less respectful of each other's views. Finally Amanda had to step in with a sharp word when Emonn and T'Lun looked as though they were about to file suit with each other.
Amanda was therefore rather stressed when she made it back to her home, but thankfully her weariness was due to hard work, and not any anxiety. She felt a lot better after having been with the children all day. Somehow their vehemence and dedication to learning had put her worries in perspective - there was a huge great universe out there full of choices and decisions. Nothing was determined or absolute, and she was free to forge her own way through it.
Happy in this frame of mind, Amanda settled down to read in her bedroom. She needed to do more research for her class, as her students were eating up her material with rapacious hunger. It was at once satisfying and difficult. Every time she felt as though she'd stuffed their little heads far too full of information, they came back the next day hungry for more. She was just beginning to get engrossed in her work when there was a soft knock at the door. Amanda looked up to see T'Iva waiting patiently, holding a slim package in her hand.
"A package has arrived for you, T'sai." T'Iva said, and Amanda hurriedly got up to take it from her.
"Thank you, T'Iva." She said absent mindedly as she turned the package over and over in her hands. It was wrapped in a dark green silken fabric, fastened with a ribbon of the same color. She undid it curiously, sliding the light fabric off the surface. The package was a smooth, stiff piece of card, but Amanda had to gasp when she saw it. It was another piece similar to the beautiful calligraphic art she'd seen at the Artistic Academy with Sarek, flowing golden script on a dark blue background. At first, she wondered if it was a gift from Sarek, but further investigation proved that it was from T'Rea. In an elegant flowing script on the back side, Amanda read the following words:
T'SAI T'REA AND S'HAILE KAVONN ASK YOUR PRESENCE AT THE CEREMONY OF THEIR MARRIAGE BOND. PLEASE ATTEND AT THE HOME OF T'SAI T'YUA IN ONE WEEK'S TIME, 18H00.
Amanda stared at the card for a long moment. T'Rea was getting married? How had she not known this? Why hadn't T'Rea told - oh. Of course she wouldn't say anything, idiot! Still, Amanda was greatly surprised by the invitation, but also pleased. She would be able to see a real Vulcan marriage ceremony! Not only that, but she'd come to think of T'Rea as a friend; perhaps this invitation indicated that T'Rea thought of her the same way. Amanda beamed at the message, turning it over in her hands to look at the front side. The elegant calligraphy was beautiful and delicate, like the finest filigree Amanda had ever seen. She knew that the twining loops spelled out a word or phrase, but Amanda suspected that it was an old symbol, made out of archaic writing that she didn't recognize.
"T'Iva?" Amanda called, padding out into the hallway, her precious invitation held close to her chest. "Could you read something for me, please?"
T'Iva appeared on quiet feet, just as silent as she always was. "What may I do for you?" She asked. Amanda held out the card.
"Would you tell me what this symbol means, please? I don't recognize it."
T'Iva looked at the card in Amanda's hands, and Amanda could have sworn that a smile touched her lips. "It is a marriage blessing, t'sai. It is traditionally used to ask friends to honor the strength of their bonds in supporting the creation of a new one."
"I see, thank you." Amanda said, looking at the invitation with new wonder. T'Iva nodded to her, the smile still lingering in her eyes.
"It is for the marriage of T'sai T'Rea and Emissary Kavonn, is it not? The city is full of talk about the celebration. It has been eagerly awaited for quite a few months."
Amanda blinked and tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. She wondered dimly how she could have missed the fact that T'Rea was engaged when apparently the entire city knew. "Ah, T'Iva...what sort of dress does one wear to a marriage?"
In the days leading up to T'Rea's wedding, Amanda did her best to keep her head down and work hard. She hadn't spoken to Sarek since their outing to the Academy, and she wanted to keep it that way. For now, at least. She didn't want to think too hard about what Ataur had said, and what that meant for her relationship with Sarek. Unfortunately, her mind drifted to the man and the subject far too often. She got lost in these thoughts so often, in fact, that she had to be brought back to the present several times by patient, bewildered Vulcans repeating her name, much to her embarrassment. My elephant, she thought sourly on one such occasion, is being willful.
Amanda was occupied with not thinking about Sarek when she ran into Selek at the Children's Institute after one particularly rowdy class. The young Vulcan was bright and eyed and bushy tailed...well, so much so as was possible for a Vulcan. "Amanda!" He said, with a hint of excitement in his tone. Amanda herself was about to leave the building, on her way to the market to find something suitable for her hair for T'Rea's wedding. She adored the pieces that T'Iva put out for her every day, but she wanted to find something of her own to wear to this special occasion. Selek strode up to her, making Amanda think of how his gangly form looked to be something like his older cousin's when he grew older. She scolded herself for that.
"Hello, Selek." Amanda replied, pleased herself to see him. It had been a while since she'd crossed paths with him, and he was always pleasant company, even if he was only 12.
"I have completed my classes for the day." Selek said, as if explaining. "Are you leaving?"
"Yes, I'm going to the market to buy something." Amanda said, concealing her amusement as his formal brusqueness, which was slightly comical. It seemed to her that his ears pricked up when she said this, although of course she knew that Vulcan ears were not like dog ears.
"Might I accompany you? We have not spent time together for 1.658 weeks, and I am free of obligations for the remainder of the afternoon." He said, in what seemed to Amanda to be a slightly accusing manner.
"As long as your family doesn't mind." Amanda said, relenting. It would be nice to have company on her excursion, although she was slightly worried that Selek might make fun of her choices while she shopped. On the other hand, he would be the perfect sounding board for what was actually appropriate for the occasion. Amanda had been pondering how she could make sure that she wasn't buying anything incredibly outlandish.
In response to her statement, Selek made a dismissive gesture and said "Of course not. I am sufficiently grown to manage my own affairs." Amanda had to force herself not to smile again - he sounded just like a Human twelve-year-old insisting that he was old enough to spend a night without a babysitter. She gave in. "In that case, please do come with me. I would appreciate your company."
They set out together towards the same marketplace that Amanda had visited with George, what seemed like years ago, although in truth it had only been a month. Selek walked with purpose, and Amanda found it difficult to keep up with his excited steps. She asked him about his schooling, and was soon overwhelmed with complex theorems and hypotheses of Selek's own creation. She was quick enough, however, to catch on to the few snide comments he made about his teachers in criticism of their teaching.
"I suppose it is futile to remind you to be respectful of your teachers, Selek." Amanda said, trying to throw a dam into the flow of words. Selek gave her a thoughtful look, as though he were sizing her up.
"Yes, especially in reference to the fact that you are, yourself, a teacher."
"I can't argue with that." Amanda said helplessly.
Selek looked puzzled. "Why can you not?" Amanda remembered her students' eternal ardor for discussion and debate and managed to stuff her laugh away. She was spared having to explain further by their arrival at the market. Selek stopped stood surveying the tableau, reminding Amanda of a young lion with his first fuzzy mane asserting his dominance over the savanna. "What exactly do you desire to locate, Amanda?" He asked her.
Amanda fiddled with her sleeve, a Human gesture which she would have fought harder to conceal in any other company. "I want to find a hair ornament to wear to a wedding that I will be attending."
Selek's eyes lit up, in such an enchanting way that Amanda was reminded of Sarek's dark eyes lit by the light of the setting sun at Khaf-Spol. She banished the thought as Selek said excitedly "Are you speaking of the marriage of T'Rea and Emissary Kavonn? My family will also be attending the ceremony." Of course they will be, Amanda thought grimly, and I suppose that includes your frustrating cousin as well.
"Yes," she replied. "I thought I should find something of my own - all of my clothing has been provided for me." She looked down, a little embarrassed, even in front of Selek, "I'm not certain of how to honor the couple at a Vulcan wedding ceremony, but I thought perhaps I could convey something by finding some ornament on my own." She paused - it was a rather roundabout way of thought, but as T'Rea had been such a steadfast and helpful teacher, Amanda wanted to prove to her that she had learned from her. She had originally wanted to buy a gift for the couple, but T'Iva had explained that Vulcan couples didn't accept gifts on their wedding day. Amanda tried to relate all this to Selek, who looked confused, but finally seemed to grasp her intention.
"I see. I do not know much of female clothing," The boy hazarded. "But I will assist you however I can. This seems to me to be a noble idea." Pleased, Amanda thanked him and the two of them headed off towards the section of the market where clothing and jewelry were on display. They wandered between stalls draped with beautiful dyed silks and others dripping with necklaces as Selek questioned Amanda about more of Earth's natural wonders. She tried to keep her eyes peeled for hair ornaments as she explained the varying climates of Earth's regions. Selek was especially interested in the unique landscapes of China and New Zealand, and Amanda tried her best to describe the deserts, mountains and tundraswhile still on the lookout for her goal.
Finally, as Amanda had just launched into an overview of coral reefs, they spotted a booth that boasted hair ornaments and pins. Amanda broke off her introduction to sea turtles and hurried over, much to Selek's annoyance. He was obviously enjoying the discussion more than the shopping. The shop's wares turned out to be far too decadent for Amanda's tastes - and purse - but they seemed to have found a grove of similar stands, and after a bit of searching Amanda located one with a display of simple but elegant pieces.
T'Iva and Amanda had already selected her dress, and Amanda kept the image of the lovely garment in mind while she scanned the tiaras and pins. It was a pale dusty blue that at once reminded Amanda of a twilight sky and the Pacific ocean. She inspected each piece's colors and enamel, checking them against the color in her mind. While each ornament was lovely in its own right, there wasn't one that specifically spoke to Amanda as the perfect accompaniment to her dress. She was beginning to despair when Selek called out to her from the other end of the shop.
"Amanda, does not this one remind you of Khaf-Spol?" He said, and Amanda heard the smile in his voice. She went over to examine the piece. It was a rather plain piece, made of a metal that was more bronze than gold. It was set with three stones - two were a dark crimson shot through with striations of a brighter red that caught the light with hints of gold and orange. The third was a milky turquoise that reminded Amanda of an Australian opal. Strangely, this gem also reflected chips of golden light off its surface, and Amanda could see a glimmer of red deep in its center.
"Buhfik." She announced, finally. "It's perfect." She glanced inquiringly at the shop's owner. He inclined his head respectfully to her and named a price that made her head reel. There was no way she could afford so much. She looked down with a wistful sadness at the hairpin, disappointed to have to abandon it, and was about to move away when Selek cleared his throat. Amanda was surprised to hear him offer a different price, knocking off a significant chunk of the asking price.
The shop keeper, a severe, gaunt Vulcan in dark clothing, straightened to his full height, glaring at Selek. Amanda expected Selek to back down, but to her awe, the twelve-year old haggled like a master, refusing to budge even an inch. He battled with the shop keeper for what seemed like an age before the man finally relented, holding up his hands in a gesture of defeat.
"As you will, young master." He said, and Amanda detected a streak of venom in his voice.
"Pay him please, Amanda." Selek said imperiously. Amanda obeyed, too surprised to say anything. The shop keeper bundled the hairpin up in dyed silk and handed it to her with a curt nod. As they exited the shop, Amanda's prize safely tucked away in her bag, she turned to Selek, unable to conceal her awe. "Selek, that was amazing."
Selek looked up at her and quirked an eyebrow - an expression that Amanda had come to learn was both mocking and appreciative. She thought of Sarek again with a pang. "If you find such things amazing, then the universe must be perpetually miraculous to you."
Amanda hid her smile, though its glow shone brightly in her mind. "In any case, thank you. I very much appreciate your help."
Selek nodded to her, a spark in his dark eyes. "It is always an honor to help a friend."
The next day, Amanda left the subject of Ancient Greece with her class and moved on to Rome. She wondered if perhaps she was spending too much time on early Human civilizations, but her pupils were furiously dedicated to the subject. Amanda hoped that, in some small way, she was helping these Vulcan children gain more perspective on Humans, and what it meant to be one. She hadn't exactly been feeling inferior on Vulcan, but she had felt certain isolation; she was only one among millions that followed certain customs, or valued certain ideals. It was exciting to be immersed in a culture that was so unlike her own, and yet at the same time she felt quite alone. Maybe this history is making me feel a little more connected to home, she thought to herself as she presented a series of photographs of Roman architectural styles.
Amanda was just clearing up her class, her head wrapped up in thoughts of home, when she received a call on her PADD. Amanda fumbled through her bag and retrieved it, surprised to see T'Rea's identification flashing on the screen. She accepted the call, and resisted the urge to smile when T'Rea's face appeared. "Hello, T'Rea." She said.
"Ko-kan," T'Rea replied, and Amanda thought there was a glimmer of a smile in her eyes. "We have not spoken in 2.34 weeks. Is your work proceeding well?" Amanda nodded.
"Yes, I have much to do, but I'm finding the experience very rewarding." She said, truthfully. "How have you been, T'Rea?"
The woman gave her a look that Amanda couldn't decipher as amused or censorious, but said "I am in good health and my own work has been quite satisfactory. Our Starfleet initiative has proved to be a success thus far." Amanda noticed she didn't say anything about her upcoming wedding, although she wasn't sure how the woman would breach the subject. She decided to give it a go herself.
"I'm looking forward to your wedding," Amanda hazarded. "I have never seen a Vulcan marriage ceremony before."
"I am well aware of the fact," T'Rea said. "Indeed, this is the reason I have contacted you. I believe you would benefit from some knowledge of the proceedings before attending the actual ceremony. I understand that Vulcan matrimonial customs and those celebrated on Earth are very different."
Is she worried that I'll mess up her ceremony? Amanda thought anxiously. She couldn't detect anything from T'Rea's expression, but the lady was already beginning to speak again. "I have consulted with S'Haile Ahror, and, although the database is not strictly within his department, he has procured access for you to traditional texts on the subject of Vulcan marriage ceremony." Ahror...Amanda remembered the name after a moment - he was the head of the linguistics department at the Vulcan Science Academy. Amanda recalled that he had been kind to her, and one of the champions of the Starfleet program that had brought her to Vulcan in the first place. Amanda was instantly grateful to him again. Having access to these ancient texts was a huge honor, especially for an outsider. She wondered how many strings T'Rea had been obliged to pull in order to get this boon for her. "You understand, of course," T'Rea was already saying, "That this information is being provided for you because we who are involved with the project believe that the marriage ceremony is a significant cultural event, which you, as Earth's representative, should experience."
A little stab of disappointment ran through Amanda. Here she had thought that T'Rea had invited her to the wedding because she valued Amanda as a friend, but the truth was that T'Rea had only been thinking about her project. She supposed she should be grateful for the opportunity in any case - she couldn't think what Humans had ever witnessed a Vulcan marriage. Still, Amanda had come to see T'Rea as a mentor and friend, and it was somewhat hurtful to hear that T'Rea did not reciprocate.
"I understand. Thank you, T'Rea." She said, somewhat mechanically. T'Rea's expression softened a bit around the corners.
"There were other weddings that were suggested for your attendance, but I requested that it should be mine." Her gray eyes were kinder than usual as she continued, "It would be pleasant for the first Vulcan marriage you witness to be my own." A little spark kindled in Amanda's chest - so it was a real heartfelt invitation after all! Amanda smiled broadly on the inside.
"I am glad it will be." Amanda replied, risking the mention of emotion. She thought T'Rea was accustomed to her enough for it to be acceptable.
"Indeed. In any case, the information at the Academy will be available to you for the next two days. I advise you to research earlier rather than later, as your access is limited. It is something of a breach of protocol to allow you to see the texts." Amanda nodded in reply. She understood full well how rare this situation was. It was exciting to think that she was perhaps the only Human to be given this honor!
Amanda composed herself and nodded. "Yes, thank you, T'Rea. I will go to the library at once. I'm eager to begin research." T'Rea's eyes glinted in a way that made Amanda suspect that she was amused.
"I trust that you will use the privilege well. Farewell, ko-kan." When Amanda said goodbye in return, the connection closed, and T'Rea's elegant face faded from the screen. Amanda stood in her classroom, clutching her PADD to her chest. The prospect of T'Rea's wedding had become, if it were possible, even more exciting than it had been. She couldn't wait to tell George.
It became apparent to Amanda when she reached the Academy, however, that she might not have time between now and the wedding to call George at all. She was led up to the library by a very severe looking attendant and ushered into an alcove where a console was waiting for her, with the access already open. Amanda was disappointed at this - she had been hoping that T'Sana would, on the off chance, be the one to greet her. She hadn't seen the woman for quite a while, and was wondering how she was getting on. Still, her fingers were itching to get at the console, and she immediately sat down and began her research.
Just as quickly she was overwhelmed by the amount of information that was carefully arranged for her perusal. There were scans of very ancient scrolls and stone carvings depicting Vulcans in the marriage rites, densely worded texts on the invocations, procedures, and ceremonies, and huge drifts of information on everything else. Amanda was amazed to find a section more than three hundred pages long detailing the musical tradition that accompanied the ceremony. She had to admit that she felt overwhelmed, accustomed as she was to wading into huge amounts of archaic material. She did her best, however, and decided to start at the beginning.
This turned out to be a very old text written in High Vulcan, accompanied by pictograms in ancient style. Thankfully, there was a transcription of the words, in addition to an editor's translation of the words into more commonplace language. Amanda decided to read the original text as best she could, occasionally stopping to consult a dictionary along the way. It was difficult at first, but Amanda quickly became used to the archaic style, and as her understanding grew, so did her fascination. It was clear that this ritual of marriage was very old indeed – stretching back before Surak brought his teachings to the Vulcan people. Not wanting to miss anything important, Amanda snatched up her PADD and stylus and began to jot down notes. They read as follows:
Preliminary "betrothal" bond formed in childhood, before puberty. Couple is officially married when one or both of the betrothed reaches ponn farr (?) ceremony: man enters room first and rings gong to signify his arrival. Rings again to say he's ready. He's followed by the wedding party which is led by the matriarch of his clan. There can be other guests. Mat. performs mind meld (look this up) with him to determine if ponn farr has arrived (what is this?) friends of the groom are introduced to the Mat. She asks if there is anyone to challenge the ceremony. If there is none, man rings gong again. Bride comes forward and Mat. initiates mind meld with couple. Marriage bond is formed/completed and "bonding fever" begins in couple. Wedding party exits except for Mat. and a hooded guard, couple consummates their marriage (WHAT, RIGHT THERE?)
Amanda sat back and looked at her notes, thinking. She was fairly certain she'd read the text correctly, but it was difficult to tell. What was ponn farr, though? And she needed to research mind melding more carefully. She made a mental note to ask Ataur about each, although she wanted to scan the database for them first. This led to a complex and ultimately fruitless search for information, at least on the one part. Amanda searched diligently for any mention of "ponn farr" beyond what she had seen in the first text, but every time the words came up, they were neither translated specifically nor defined in any kind of detail. It was maddening – Amanda opened up her personal dictionary, her old textbooks, and all the notes she had taken on Vulcan thus far. She couldn't find any mention of ponn farr. Damn.
Thankfully she was able to find a little bit of information on the mind meld. There wasn't much; apparently S'Haile Ahror had only given Amanda the bare bones of the concept in the database, for she was certain that there should be more in the Academy's library on such a significant part of Vulcan culture. She'd only heard bits and pieces about it, from Ataur's explanation of bonds, and what little she had learned back on Earth. Vulcans are touch-telepaths: they're very sensitive to each other's feelings and thoughts when they touch. This Amanda already knew, but she couldn't find much more information in the database beyond that. From the ancient text, however, Amanda got the feeling that Vulcans could go a lot deeper than that when they really initiated a mind meld. Don't they trust me at all? Amanda thought crossly as she went back to her original notes to try and piece something more together.
By the time Amanda had sorted through a few more old texts and compiled five more pages of notes, it was almost sunset and she was hungry and tired. Feeling as though she had gotten nowhere, Amanda closed down the console and started arranging her own things. Before she put away her PADD, though, she dashed off a quick note to Ataur.
Trensu Ataur,
Thank you for your helping me to understand my situation with Sarek. I apologize for my behavior, my emotions took a strong hold of me and I was afraid. After receiving your note, I am much calmer. I understand I need to cast out fear.
I have a question I need to ask you. I have been asked to attend T'Rea's wedding in a few days, and she granted me access to the Academy library's database on Vulcan marriage. I came across two terms that I do not fully understand, however. What is ponn farr, and what is involved in a mind meld? I would much appreciate your help.
With thanks,
Amanda
She sent off the message and retired from the library, yawning. She was thinking longingly of her bed as she stepped out into the cooler evening air. Amanda's thoughts drifted as she walked, thinking of this and that, of George and Sarek, of her parents, and T'Rea. The slanting sunlight was red-gold with the sunset, making everything vibrate with color.
Amanda, thus lost in her own world, wasn't aware that someone was calling her name until they'd had to repeat it several times. She looked around, blinked, and beheld Sarek walking towards her, with quick steps that indicated he'd been hurrying after her. His was wearing his regular dark clothing, although there was a silver-colored fastening at the throat of his tunic. Formalwear, for some official function, Amanda thought. As he drew nearer, Amanda's brain finally kicked itself into gear, and she felt her heartbeat increase in panic. She had to get away from him! Now! Amanda took a step back, the urge to flee rising in her. He was close enough now for her to see his expression, and he hers. A flash of concern passed through his eyes.
"Amanda," he said, "wait. Where are you going?"
"I'm walking home." Amanda said bluntly, the words coming to her lips as an immediate reaction. No, stop it! You shouldn't talk to him! "I have to go." She turned away, but was stopped by the lightest of touches on her shoulder.
"Please don't." He said, his voice as steady and even as ever. Amanda bit her lip and turned to face him again. They hadn't seen each other since she'd spoken with Ataur, and although her fears had calmed somewhat since then, her nerves were still twanging at the sight of Sarek. He seemed to sense that something was wrong, and stayed silent for a moment, as if marshalling his thoughts.
"Sarek," Amanda managed to say. "What do you want?" The words came out colder than she'd intended, but perhaps that was all to the good. If Sarek left her alone, then she wouldn't have to worry about all the t'hy'la business, and she could live her life as she wanted. I can't be controlled if he never gets to me! Sarek was saying something now, but Amanda wasn't listening. She was just looking at his face, and thinking about what Ataur had told her in his message. My choices are my own. No one can make them for me, not even Sarek. I am the keeper of my heart.
Strangely, once that thought went through her mind, Amanda felt a lot calmer. Just because she and Sarek were compatible didn't mean that they were fated to be together. It was an option, an option among a myriad of options that were available to her. Amanda wanted to smile, but remembering herself, she kept it inside, tucking away its secret glow. She realized, though, that Sarek was looking at her, puzzlement obvious in his dark eyes. Perhaps only obvious to me, she thought.
"I'm sorry, Sarek, my mind was wandering. What did you say?"
Sarek quirked an eyebrow. "Please let me know if you feel inclined to wander again. Repeating oneself is frustrating."
"Yes, thank you, Ambassador, I shall certainly inform you." Amanda replied dryly, feeling much more like her usual self. Perhaps this strange banter they exchanged was helping her regain her composure. "But in any case, what do you want?"
Sarek drew himself up to his full height - a considerable gesture, Amanda noted - and reached into the inside pocket of his buttoned tunic. "I came across something of yours, and sought to return it to you."
"I haven't lost anything," Amanda said, puzzled, but when Sarek drew the item out of his jacket, she recognized it immediately as Rotah's bonding charm. "Oh!" She said, surprised but pleased. "I did lose that, I had forgotten."
Sarek held it out to her, his eyes looking steelier than usual as he commented "I wonder how you should come across a charm such as this. I did not think you had any Vulcan suitors." Amanda took the charm from his hand, feeling a little jolt of excitement as her fingers made the lightest of touches against his. She drew the charm close to her chest, trying to hide her suspicious look.
"What? No one is...I don't have any suitors." She said, her confusion mounting. "One of my students gave it to me." At her words, amusement shone in his eyes. He almost seemed as if he might smile, or even start laughing. Amanda frowned ever so slightly, looking from the little red charm to the nearly-laughing Ambassador.
"I see. One of your students. Did he or she tell you what sort of charm it was?" He asked, clasping his hands behind his back in his usual fashion.
Amanda blinked. "Yes, he said it was a bonding charm. To bring luck in..." She searched for the right word. "Tersayek. Courting."
Amanda could have sworn that one of the corners of Sarek's mouth twitched in amusement. "Indeed. I fear he did not tell you the entire truth - that particular charm is a traditional favor that an interested party gives to the object of his or her affection. One could say that it is a declaration of intent." Amanda stared at him for a moment. One of her students had a little crush on her, then. It was a common enough occurrence in Terran schools, but Amanda had never imagined that one of her Vulcan pupils would take to her that way. To her annoyance, she felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She tried to seem nonchalant as she tucked the charm away in her bag.
"Oh, I see. I'll have to tell him that while his gift was very thoughtful, it was inappropriate." She turned slightly as she said this, starting to walk again, but hoping that Sarek would take her slow pace as an invitation to join her. The sun was sinking lower now, and while she didn't mind walking in the evening, she was getting rather famished. Thankfully, Sarek stepped neatly in line with her, and they made their way down the walk towards Amanda's home.
"It is good that you are not in the habit of courting your students. In future, perhaps, it would be better not to accept such tokens unless you intend to reciprocate." Sarek said, placid as ever. Amanda glanced up at his profile. He was looking straight ahead, but when he sensed she was looking at him, his eyes moved to meet hers. Amanda looked away hastily.
"Thank you for the advice. I'll try to follow it, in future."
"I believe your Lieutenant companion would not approve."
Amanda stopped in her tracks. "Who, George?" She said, staring at him. Sarek stopped and surveyed her cooly, his expression unreadable.
"Yes, I believe Lieutenant Kirk's first name is George. Allowing any such advances from other men would certainly upset him."
Amanda felt like laughing, but of course, she kept the feeling to herself. "George isn't my...lover, Sarek. He's only a friend. He has a fiancee, a Human from home. From Earth." She watched him closely for any reaction. In fact, she was surprised that he hadn't mentioned George until now, especially after the incident at his Ambassadorial ceremony. Sarek, however, let nothing slip. There was no relaxation in the tension of his shoulders, no look of relief in his eyes. For some reason, however, she did feel an easing of tension in herself, a relaxation of an anxiety that had been present for a long time now...but Amanda could think of no reason for it.
"I see. I was mistaken." Sarek said finally. He turned and began walking again, and Amanda hurried to catch up with him.
"Next time, ask before you do anything," Amanda said, quietly. She felt Sarek tense beside her. Perhaps that hadn't been the kindest thing to say to him, but it needed to be said. She heard Sarek take a deep breath.
"Yes, Amanda, I shall do so. I apologize."
"It is of no matter." Amanda replied, using one of Sarek's own well-used phrases, a little playful gesture. Sarek relaxed, and they walked together toward her house, mostly in silence, but speaking every now and again. Sarek seemed to be in a pensive frame of mind, and Amanda was grateful for the time to try and untangle her own thoughts. So much was happening, and all so quickly, but somehow Amanda didn't feel anxious about it. She felt as if things were going the way they ought to be. When they reached Amanda's door some ten minutes later, Sarek turned to her and raised the ta'al in farewell.
"I'll try to be more careful about what tokens I accept from now on," Amanda said, playful once more. The glint of gold shone in Sarek's eyes for a moment. He leaned a little closer to her, and Amanda felt a slight touch of his warm fingers on her elbow.
"Please do; although I must admit it was pleasant to present you with the charm myself. I look forward to seeing you at T'Rea's marriage ceremony." He drew away, leaving Amanda feeling a little shell-shocked and pink in the cheeks. With a courteous nod, Sarek bid her goodbye and took his leave. Amanda remained at the door for a long moment, waiting for her heartbeat to slow, and to forget the mischievous tone in Sarek's voice, and the touch at her elbow. She found herself wishing that Vulcans were more accepting of physical interaction. Such a light touch was only a tease.
Amanda was awakened the next morning by the beeping of her PADD. She sat up groggily and ran a hand through her hair, tangled as it was by her restless sleep. She fumbled around for the device on her bedside table, wondering to what sort of communication it was trying to alert her. She flicked on the screen and stared down at the notification, although it was a few moments before her sleepy brain managed to line up the words in a way that was comprehensible. Ataur had replied to her message from last night. Her sleepiness banished, Amanda opened his reply, eager to see what he had written in response to her questions.
Ashal-Amanda,
It is good to hear that you are doing well, and that I was able to help you in any small way. I am afraid I cannot explain all you wish to know now, however. Ponn farr is a phenomenon very private to our culture. Even I am uneasy about giving you the details of this process. However, I will try to satisfy your curiosity to the best degree that I am able: ponn farr is a biological process that all Vulcans experience in their adult lives. It occurs every seven years in those who are healthy, and many marriages take place during its cycle. That is all the information I can relay to you at this time. I hope that you will forgive me.
As to kash-nohv, mind melding, it is a particular ability that our people, as touch-telepaths, often exercise with those with whom they share the closest bonds. It is a joining of minds – essentially a broadening of the link that binds two bonded individuals. More information, memories, feelings, and thoughts can pass between those performing the kash-nohv. It is most frequently practiced between bonded and married couples, but it is also essential to ceremonial purposes, as well as medical procedures. Our healers can mend a soul as they would a body through this process.
I hope that this has cleared your confusion to some degree. I apologize that I could not be of more aid. I look forward to seeing you at the marriage celebration of T'Rea and Emissary Kavonn.
Your friend,
Ataur
Amanda frowned at her PADD. She had never known Ataur to be…squeamish in explaining things to her. What was so special about ponn farr that even Ataur was reluctant to tell her about it? She would have to find out about it somehow. If it was so important to Vulcan culture, she couldn't truly complete a full survey of the Vulcan people without an understanding of it. Amanda set her jaw and climbed out of bed. She would discover what ponn farr really was, even if she had to embarrass a whole legion of Vulcans to do so.
Amanda had to admit that she wasn't as focused as usual in her classroom that day. Her students were, thankfully, more focused, which more than made up for the absent-mindedness of their teacher. Amanda ushered them out with more relief than she usually felt when the class was over. She watched them as they marched down the hall to their next lesson. Four little girls and six little boys, and all as serious as elderly judges on Starfleet's council. Amanda felt a surge of fondness for them as she watched them turn the corridor. Her first class – and, if she was lucky, there would be many more in the future.
After class Amanda proceeded to the Academy's library to finish up on her research. She worked diligently all afternoon, well aware that she only had that one day left to read as much as she could. Her PADD steadily filled up with notes; scribbled script, pictograms, and ancient verses of poetry and songs pertaining to marriage. Amanda couldn't help it – she was fascinated. For once, she felt as though she were getting a genuine look into the private history of a culture that was far more ancient than her own. It was as though she were reading the treatises that the sun had written as it watched the planets collide and form around it…although perhaps not so very monumental and archaic.
With all this work, the day passed quickly. Amanda found herself returning home just as late as she had the previous day, although thankfully she did not encounter Sarek on the walk home. T'Iva had a large dinner waiting for her which she gobbled down hungrily. T'Iva watched approvingly, and as she was clearing up the table, told Amanda lightly that she needed a good night's sleep.
"Why?" Amanda asked her.
"T'sai is attending a wedding tomorrow. You will need rest if you are to appear as beautiful as you are capable." Taking that as a compliment, Amanda went up to bed. She was tired enough to sleep for a week, but even so, excited thoughts of the ceremony the next day were buzzing around her head. Finally, as she imagined walking into the hall and astonishing everyone with the beauty of her dress and tiara, she fell asleep.
Amanda wasn't entirely prepared for the deafening boom of the gong when it came. Unable to see Kavonn as she was, she hadn't expected the huge noise, and her body had not adequately prepared her it. It seemed to rattle her very bones, the columns of the hall, and perhaps even the sky outside. Amanda wanted to put her hands to her ears, but she gritted her teeth instead, imagining that the noise was only a ripple passing over the smooth surface of a lake.
Loud or no, the noise was immensely impressive, and Amanda immediately felt the gravity of the opening act of the ceremony. She could see the ramrod straight back of T'Yua, the Matriarch of Kavonn's house, at the head of their group, her silver hair bound up in an artful twist at the base of her neck. Amanda couldn't help but be in awe of the old woman, even if she hadn't yet seen her face. Her thoughts were disrupted, however, by another earth-shattering boom of the gong. The second ring, that truly announced the beginning of the ceremony. T'Yua, without any indication or signal, immediately began to walk towards the curtained entrance to the hall. The rest of the guests followed after her, as silent and dignified as a procession of soldiers in their military best. Amanda tried to be as stalwart as her fellows, but she couldn't help but be excited. She hadn't yet seen T'Rea, and was wild to know what exactly a Vulcan bride wore to her wedding.
Amanda herself had taken great care with her grooming that afternoon. She'd pulled on the elegant, gauzy dress that she'd picked out with T'Iva, a beautiful thing of dusky blue that perfectly complimented Amanda's auburn hair and blue eyes. It was low cut, but Amanda was able to wear it comfortably, not having an incredibly significant bosom. Gold-colored ornamentation covered the sleeves from her wrists to shoulders, glittering in the light of the grand hall. Amanda couldn't help feel immensely proud of her jewelry selection to match the dress – her wonderful tiara, which gleamed like Khaf-Spol in the sunset.
Finally Amanda entered the main chamber. The ceiling was very high, a masterwork of carvings in ivory-colored stone, supported by pillars inlaid with gold and red-violet striated marble. T'Yua was taking her place at the top of a flight of low steps which ringed the hall all the way around. Kavonn was standing in the center of the room, which was lower than the edges, beside the largest red-gold gong that Amanda had ever seen. He was dressed in robes of a dark color: Amanda couldn't decide if they were dark blue or dark green. The sleeves were edged with silver designs, as well as the collar and hem. He himself was handsome enough, with lighter hair than most of the Vulcans Amanda had seen. His eyes were a corresponding hazel, and Amanda smiled on the inside. He seemed a good match for T'Rea's own dark beauty.
Once the wedding party was all arranged on the steps surrounding Kavonn, he began to approach T'Yua, his long robes trailing over the steps like a beautifully flowing puddle of dark water. T'Yua looked rather similar to him in feature – her eyes were the same shade of light hazel, although hers were somewhat faded by age. Amanda wondered how old she was; Vulcans lived for a considerably longer time than Humans, and T'Yua could have seen at least an entire century. Kavonn held out a broad hand to his matriarch, extending the ta'al. She returned it, her own hand as slim and frail looking as if it were made out of glass. Kavonn knelt before her, his head bowed. T'Yua lifted both her hands, forming the sign of the ta'al, and placed them on either side of her relative's face.
The silence in the hall was so deep that Amanda could have sworn the others could hear her breathing. Amanda wondered what could be going on between the grandmother and her prodigy. What thoughts and feelings were they exchanging there? Finally, T'Yua released Kavonn, and he sat back on his heels. T'Yua raised her light eyes to the crowd, her expression as imperious and severe as that of an empress. She began to speak, her voice as clear and sound as that of a woman 50 years her junior.
"Ra tu ak gla-tor tev-tor s'wak t'Palikaya. Nam-tor u'khaf-spol Vuhlkansu - nam-tor u'katra Vuhlkansu - nam-tor u'sha'yut. What you are about to see comes down from the time of the Beginning. This is the Vulcan heart, this is the Vulcan soul - this is our way." Amanda felt the hairs on the back of her neck and her arms prickle. The words instilled a great awe in her, and she knew her eyes must have been as wide as saucers as she watched the elegant figure of the Matriarch. She raised her hands again, including the whole room in her gesture. "Kali farr! Time of challenge!"
Amanda held her breath. Would someone come forward to challenge Kavonn's claim to T'Rea? As archaic and slightly misogynistic as it was, Amanda couldn't help but be reminded of the ancient tales she'd heard of knights and chivalry, of ladies and high courtly love. Should any other Vulcan come forward to challenge Kavonn, man or woman, he would fight them to defend his right to be with T'Rea. Apparently, as Amanda had read the previous day, there was also a chance for anyone to come forward to fight T'Rea for the honor of Kavonn's hand, but that had been before the ceremony. I suppose it must work for them. They've used the same ceremony for thousands of years.
As Amanda's thoughts rattled on, the hall remained as silent as ever. No one seemed to want to dispute Kavonn's desire to marry T'Rea. Amanda was pleased at that – she didn't want to see any blood shed, especially during such a special occasion as a wedding. She glanced at the crowd once or twice, guiltily wondering where Sarek was among the crowd. Finally, T'Yua lowered her arms and nodded to her grandson. Kavonn stood and returned to his place by the gong, picking up the hammer once more. Amanda braced herself this time, and the noise was not nearly so bone-shattering as it had been the first two times. She was immediately distracted from the noise, however, because T'Rea had just come forward.
Amanda had never seen the woman looking so lovely. Her dress was, actually, rather plainer than the ones Amanda had seen her in before, but it looked incredibly beautiful on her slender body. It was a dark gray in color, and slightly shining, smooth straight cloth falling from her chest to trail on the floor and follow behind her like a trail of molten silver. T'Rea's dark hair was pulled back in a simple but elegant style, to match her dress: pulled back from her face with two large silver clasps to cascade down past her shoulders in a smooth black sheet. Amanda's breath caught in her throat at the sight.
T'Rea approached the dais where T'Yua stood. Kavonn was coming up to join her, and together the couple knelt before the Matriach. T'Yua held out her hands in the ta'al before bringing them down to lightly touch the faces of the couple at her feet. Once again, the room was filled with the heaviness of silence, and Amanda's heart thudding in her chest seemed to be the loudest thing she had ever heard. T'Yua's eyes closed. Standing on the dais, she looked like some ancient goddess of truth, or perhaps war, Amanda wasn't quite sure which.
After what seemed an age, a figure stepped forward to stand beside T'Yua on the dais. Amanda couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. It was clothed in a completely obscuring dark robe, which hid all evidence of its form from its feet to its face. Amanda's mouth opened slightly – so the text had been right about this part, and that meant…
"Ponn farr." T'Yua said, her tone quieter than before. She removed her hands from Kavonn and T'Rea's faces, folding them in front of her. The two remained motionless in front of her, and Amanda heard the sound of shifting feet behind her. The wedding guests were exiting the hall, moving back through the curtain to the secondary chamber. Amanda followed after them, feeling a little blush color her cheeks. If she could trust her reading, Kavonn and T'Rea, once everyone was out of the hall, would consummate their marriage, right there in front of the Matriarch and hooded guard. Amanda, to her shame, felt embarrassed about that. She had been able to accept all other Vulcan customs easily enough, but it was rather pathetic to feel squeamish about this one. After all, several Human cultures had observed marriage in the same way.
These thoughts were banished from Amanda's mind when the wedding party entered the next chamber. The dim hall that they had been waiting in was alive with light now. It was styled in much the same way as the ceremonial chamber had been, although here huge windows showed grand stretches of the darkening blue sky. Crimson and violet drapery decorated the columns, and was spread over long tables holding food and drink, delicacies reserved for a wedding celebration. Quiet music echoed from one corner, a soothing, lilting tune. There were many guests beside herself. Amanda saw S'Haile Ahror, surrounded by a retinue of quietly talking Vulcans. There was Councilman Skonn, who gave her a respectful nod when their eyes met. T'Sana extended the ta'al to her from her spot near the windows. Finally, though, Amanda spotted Ataur, and she went to him at once, happy to see her friend.
"Amanda," Ataur said, a smile in his voice when he saw her. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you," She said. "And you, as well – I mean, you're very handsome tonight."
There was a look in Ataur's eyes at that which Amanda couldn't mistake for anything but a grin. "Nemaiyo. Please, Amanda, I'd like to introduce you to someone." Ataur turned slightly and called to a man who was speaking with another small group. He looked over, nodded, and dismissed himself from the others. He was taller than Ataur, and much darker, but Amanda could see a flicker of Ataur's same cheer in his deep eyes.
"Amanda, this is Nakor, my telsu. Bonded mate."
Amanda quickly hid her flash of surprise. She hadn't suspected that Ataur was gay, but then again, Vulcans were very accepting of homosexuality. From what Amanda had learned in her classes and research, Vulcans had found bonded mates in the same sex since the beginning of their civilization. She had found that quite refreshing when she first discovered the fact. "It is an honor to meet you," She finally said. "Trensu Ataur has been an invaluable guide to me during my stay on Vulcan."
Nakor inclined his head. His courtesy seemed easy and relaxed, somewhat different from that of other Vulcans. "And you, Miss Grayson. Ataur has spoken highly and often of his new pupil from Earth." Amanda tucked a smile away. She was glad to hear that her teacher was proud of her.
"Are you a master of meditation as well, Nakor?" Amanda asked.
"No, I am an advocate. I believe the profession is more commonly known on Earth as 'lawyer'."
This sparked an interesting conversation on the practices of Vulcan courts and laws. Amanda, who had never seen any judicial proceedings, or in fact ever thought about their significance on Vulcan, was fascinated by the subject. She, Ataur and Nakor found drinks and refreshments as they continued their discussion. Their conversation eventually veered away from laws – Ataur hinted to Amanda that Nakor, when invested in discussing his profession, could become very dull and technical, even for a Vulcan. They spoke instead of Amanda's classes, her impressions of Vulcan, and other pupils that Ataur had taught during his stay in Shi'Kahr.
Amanda saw, at one point, that Ataur and Nakor once lightly brushed fingers in the gesture that Sarek (strangely enough, in her dream) had explained to her was a kiss. Amanda found herself staring, and hastily tried to look away, but Ataur noticed her interest. When Nakor excused himself to speak to another acquaintance, Ataur leaned a little closer to her. "Do not be ashamed. Humans are often curious about our Vulcan methods of affection. The gesture is called an ozh'esta, finger embrace. Humans often think that we never display any affection for one another, but they do not suspect that those small touches are, in fact, like Human kissing for us. It is an acceptable gesture between bond mates in public."
Amanda bit her lip. "So, do Vulcans kiss…with their lips, as well?"
There was a laugh in Ataur's eyes. "Of course. We have many of the same erogenous zones as Humans do." Amanda's blush surged back in earnest, which made Ataur's laughing expression grow. "Any reason in particular that you wish to know this?" Amanda cleared her throat and began talking loudly about the weather, but Ataur's eyes kept chuckling. She suspected that he knew the reason why she asked.
That reason, however, had not yet made his appearance at the wedding party. Amanda found herself scanning the crowd at one point, and then chastised herself for it. What would she do if she saw Sarek? She couldn't exactly flee from him like she had the other day, not here among all the guests. Amanda sighed and looked down at her lap, fiddling with the ornaments on her sleeves.
"I must leave you now, but please, have another cup of k'vass, Amanda. A wedding is something to celebrate." Ataur said finally, ending their conversation. As he handed another glass to her, Amanda could have sworn he winked at her, his light eyes flashing, before he disappeared into the crowd. A Vulcan winking…well, perhaps there was more to see in this universe than even the scientists said.
Amanda found that the k'vass did calm her down somewhat, though. She wandered amongst the guests, admiring the robes and tunics, dresses and gauzy scarves. The colors and cuts were all beautiful, the jewelry shining and eye-catching, but Amanda still felt a little put out. Even with this beautiful spectacle all around her, there was something missing. She caught sight of Selek and his parents at one point, and extended the ta'al, but he did not come to her. His parents had him flanked, and Amanda could see that the boy was getting bored. He couldn't come and talk to her, especially if his parents truly did disapprove of her, as he had told her on their first meeting.
Amanda drifted to the windows, looking out at the night before her. Shi'Kahr was a maze of dark purple shapes in the gloom, spires and roof tops silhouetted against the sky, where a slim moon was just rising. A desert night, cool and dry, Amanda thought, leaning against the window frame. There were lights in many windows, and Amanda wondered what kinds of lives were going on behind them. Lives so different from ones she had known back on Earth. How long could she linger here as a stranger among aliens?
"Are you searching for an escape route? I would advise against leaping from the windows- we are quite high off the ground and such an egress would likely shatter your frail Human body."
Amanda's heart surged into her throat as she turned. Sarek was standing behind her, as neat and severe as ever in a dark colored tunic with a high collar. His face betrayed nothing, no emotion or thought. Amanda met his dark eyes, fearing for a moment that she would feel a flood of his emotions and thoughts, but no strange gate opened that way. Amanda set her glass down on the window sill and extended the ta'al to him. "No, Sarek, I was simply enjoying the view." She said.
He came forward to join her at the window, surveying the landscape before them with a critical eye. "Yes, it is beautiful." He said. "One grows tired of the same cityscape every night, however. I feel the need to travel to new cities, sometimes." He looked down at her again. "And then I remember that I have duties here."
Amanda swallowed. The light from the ballroom was glittering in his eyes, highlighting the gold flecks that were buried deep within the brown. Her treacherous eyes strayed to his lips, just for a moment, before flicking back up to his eyes. She could tell her face was hot, and wondered if it was the effect of the k'vass, or Sarek's presence.
"Are you going to remain mute?" He asked, and Amanda realized that she hadn't said anything for more than a minute.
"Oh, no, I apologize." Amanda said, looking away, back to the blue and purple city. She rallied, trying to think of something clever to say. "You are very spoiled, if you're growing tired of this city. I'm amazed every day by how beautiful it is."
"Do you think I am spoiled?" Amanda's fingers tightened on the windowsill; he had drawn closer to her. She could feel the warmth of his body close to her own, quite close, in fact. She swallowed again.
"I think that you can be rude," She said, wondering how she was insulting him when her heart was thudding so fast in her chest, just from the closeness of him. "…when you are careless. Whether or not that means you are spoiled, I cannot say." She felt a touch at the small of her back – his hand. Panic flooded her for a second before she realized that the gesture must have been hidden from the view of the other guests by Sarek's body.
"There is a balcony there. Would you walk with me on it? We will be able to see the landscape better from there, and you can show me what I must have been missing." He asked. Even though his voice was still a monotone, Amanda's pulse jumped just to hear it. She nodded wordlessly, and felt his touch withdraw from her back. She turned, and he was all formal and proper again, his hands clasped behind his back. He indicated with his head the glass door a few feet away from them that led to the balcony. Silently they went out together, Amanda's heart still racing, and Sarek seeming as cool as ever.
The wind was stronger than Amanda had expected. Loose wisps of her hair danced about her face, and the flowing fabric of her skirt picked up, flowing out like a sigh. Sarek walked out ahead of her, strolling down the narrow balcony, as if he were perfectly at ease. Amanda felt both a surge of envy at his coolness and once again that fluttery feeling at his figure. He really was quite handsome, and the backlighting of the ballroom certainly enhanced that fact. He turned to look at her again, half over his shoulder. "So then, point out to me what I am overlooking in this cityscape. Use your keen observational skills." He was teasing her again, but Amanda was too nervous to rise to it. Why did she feel as though all of her bones had been replaced with jelly? She tried, anyway.
"How can you be so b-blind?" Amanda asked, trying to sound joking, but only stuttering. "Look, the outline of the Principal Building, isn't it majestic?" She described the shape with her hand, tracing the black cutout of the monument against the sky.
"I see it every day. I no longer find it majestic."
"The Public Gardens, then, on the south side. Can't you see the lights hanging in the trees? They look magical." She silently cursed herself for saying something so stupid as 'magical'.
Sarek made a noncommittal gesture. "I have been to the gardens approximately 90 times. I no longer see the lights as…magical."
Amanda peered at the skyline, trying to find something that would inspire Sarek. How could she pick one thing out of such a huge number? She herself found every building interesting, every spire and twist and column. The streets were still filled with mystery, the markets still exotic, the sound of the Vulcan tongue still fascinating. She gave up. "I can't do it, Sarek. How am I supposed to make you see the city through my eyes?"
She heard the sound of his boots on the stone of the balcony as he walked back to her. He stood beside her, leaning his hands on the balcony and joining her in looking out at the cityscape. "It is of no matter, Amanda. I do not need to see the city as beautiful. I don't feel the need to look at it."
"Why is that?" Amanda felt as though it took an age for the words to tumble out of her mouth.
Sarek turned to look down at her, his face now half-shadowed by the darkness of the night. The light was bluish, and she could see his cheekbones and the curve of his strong jaw in stark relief. His hair was falling into his eyes, obscuring them further from her view. "It is enough that I may look at you."
Amanda let out a little gasp that was more a choke and half a sob. This seemed to startle Sarek. "Are you well?" Amanda swallowed and repressed another noise that would have been a laugh.
"I'm fine." She said.
They stood there in silence for a long moment. Amanda could hear people speaking inside the ballroom, heard the low tones of the music, even the hush of the wind as it flew over them. She couldn't think of anything to say, or anything to do. I am frozen in place, like a dumb, bumbling mammoth in the ice, she thought grimly. Sarek's sudden voice broke her wandering thoughts. "May I kiss you?"
At first, Amanda wasn't certain how to reply. She wanted to say no, and then to say yes, and then it was just better to close her eyes, lean forward, and press her mouth against his.
Author's Note: Oh dear. I fear I've given you guys a chapter that is more than three times longer than usual. I only meant to make it a little longer, but then I got carried away! Needless to say I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope that the links I included go through as well – I really wanted to share my inspiration for the dresses, and of course I really needed to credit that Rituals and Ceremonies website. ANYWAY, FINALLY THE SLOW BUILD IS OVER! OR AT LEAST COMING TO AN END! I hope you people are happy. No really, I hope you are 3 Your reviews and comments have been the most wonderful and best inspiration to keep me writing.
And a huge word of thanks to Lis, who has been so helpful and fun, and humored me when I wanted to giggle over plot points with her. Ilu bb 3
*Go here to see Amanda's dress! Imagine it in blue instead of that lovely pink. It is Elie Saab Haute Couture. http:/25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m72540bf9P1rsdyc4o1_500.jpg I found this image through Game-of-Style, a tumblr blog that tracks fashion appropriate for characters of the Song of Ice and Fire series (if you haven't read it or watched it, DO.) Link to Game-of-Style: http:/game-of-style.tumblr.com/
**You didn't think I would only give you Amanda's dress, did you? Here is the inspiration for T'Rea's gown, also found on the Game-of-Style tumblr. http:/sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/582007_3478336245333_715795105_n.jpg The dress is Talisa - Bottega Veneta Pre-spring 2013.
***After quite a lot of looking, I found a great resource that described the Vulcan marriage ceremony. The Vulcan text was taken from that website, I am very grateful to its creator! http:/www.stogeek.com/wiki/Vulcan_Rituals_and_Ceremonies