NOTE FROM RIOTTORI: HERE'S THE POST I PROMISED. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

Ana:

"I need you to listen to what I'm going to say without reacting. OK?" I'm speaking in a voice that I used to possess. I am calm and controlled, belying my real feelings. I wait for him to agree.

It's strange that a few hours ago when I first pulled the manuscript onto my lap to read, I was intrigued, excited to see what "To Catch A King" had in store. I was influenced by Laura's interest and hoping that we'd found fresh talent to take my mind off the collapse of my marriage.

I turned the page, began to read. It only took the first chapter in for the cold realization to creep in, to stroke over my shoulders, make me shudder. This was my life I was reading about. The worst aspects of my life laid bare, exposed, written about in descriptive prose. The practiced becoming of me, the calculated seduction of my husband, the point that he succumbed and kissed her. I was shaking while reading it, knew that I should stop, but desperate to know more. This was an insight into my husband's fidelity, words that I could pore over, take my time with, investigate the depth of his betrayal, count the layers of lies.

Alice, the story-teller, gets her 'hook' in Chapter 10, the twist in the plot to keep the reader interested. This is when she reveals Sebastian's penchant for the darker side of sex. After work one day, the Monday after the Friday night when they'd shared dinner in a restaurant – out for all to see – and shared another kiss, he shows her The Red Room. She is instantly excited by it, wants to enter with him, wants him to control her. She knows that this is his dirty little secret and that her guarding of his secret will allow her to reap the rewards. The reveal of the room acts like an aphrodisiac for both of them, but they agree to wait, enjoying the feeling of delayed gratification.

But that night, they have sex in our bed, according to her. On the sheets Hannah – I – have picked out. She claims it made the release all the more thrilling. Over the next days, they make love on the billiard table, on the floor of the kitchen, back in bed, every inch of my apartment contaminated. They are building up to their first time in The Room, using ordinary sex as foreplay.

I have to skim the descriptions of their love-making. I find myself picturing them together, his hand on her skin, her touching him. He let her touch him! They fall asleep in each other's arms, intertwined and sated after making love. I think I'm going to be sick.

I plough on, read about their first trip to The Room. What hurts me – perhaps irrationally – is that she calls it The Red Room, my word for it. Christian must have called it that when he introduced it to her. He must have been thinking about me then, but it still didn't stop him from crossing the threshold with her.

I skim the 'action', my eye occasionally catching on a word which stabs at my fragile heart: 'Flogger', 'blindfold', 'climax'.

The book continues in the same vein as they enjoy more sordid hours in The Red Room. The fact that it mirrors my beginnings with Christian is eerie. They still make love outside The Red Room, date, get to know one another. In Chapter 36, he tells her he loves her.

In Chapter 38, she becomes his Dom for a change, inflicting pain that he enjoys. He takes it as punishment for what he was doing to his poor, little wife. She knows something is up and has started her slow, spiral down.

When Sebastian leaves Hannah in Chapter 45, she has a break-down. Alicia is instated as Editor of Green Publishing (anyone who knows even a little about us is going to know that this is our lives) and marries her 'king'. She usurps me both at home and work, fitting into my life cleanly, neatly. Cutting me out of it. I feel sad, so sad that somebody could hate me like this, with such an intensity. Her hatred poured over the page, her delight at my demise. I was reading my past in this manuscript, was Chapter 45 my future?

No, the voice is back. That could have been you if you hadn't found me. I think that's true. I owe the voice my life.

"I don't want to give this girl money either," I'm back in the present, facing my furious husband. Part of me enjoyed watching him read the manuscript, his shock that he had been so phenomenally tricked. I want him in pain, just like I am. His indiscretion had put the Greys in danger. I know he'll learn from this. No fucking NDA, no fucking background check. Shit, he must have fallen hard for this girl.

"The second option doesn't require giving her any money. But...you'd have to...you'd have to see her again."

Christian is up and out of his chair with a roar. He's pacing and running his hands through his hair again. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry.

"Listen," I say, standing to pull him back to his chair, to make him listen to my logic. "Alice doesn't know that you know about the manuscript, that I have let you in on it. While part of her motivation is money, I think she still wants you."

I can see him open his mouth but I hold up my hand to silence him. "I think she wanted me to read this, to ruin us. She's so descriptive, she knew it would hurt me. We could pretend that you know nothing about this. I will file for a divorce – that will definitely make the papers – and you'd be 'free' to be with her. When you start up the relationship again, you'll introduce the NDA. "

His face is ashen. "No."

"Christian, please. The only way to get her out of your life, without paying her off, is for her to sign. Otherwise there's no way of getting a gagging order. She'll be able to say whatever she likes about you, about us."

"No," he says again. "If I'm in the same room as that...that...I'd kill her."

The look in his eyes tells me he means it.