The evening was hot and muggy and generally unpleasant as Amanda headed out for T'Rea's house, and her potential doom. Amanda gave a little shiver, despite the heat, and pulled the shawl that covered her hair and shoulders more securely around her. Councilman Skon's wrath had been hard to take, but Amanda dreaded T'Rea's anger more. Since the beginning Amanda had been a stumbling little chick under T'Rea's indulgent wing - and Amanda knew it was indulgence, now. She knew enough about Vulcans now to know that T'Rea had been a champion for her and a kind guide. And what have I done to repay her?
The facade of T'Rea's residence didn't do much to lighten Amanda's fears. It was an elegant building, in an older style than most of the homes in that part of the city. Amanda wondered vaguely as she approached whether it had belonged to T'Rea originally, or Kavonn. The door was answered by a man that Amanda assumed must be a butler or valet. Amanda allowed herself to be politely ushered into the house. It was a grand and open home, with glass partitions separating the different living spaces. Amanda had expected it to be rather spare, like Sarek's house, but it was sumptuously furnished, although not in excess.
The servant led Amanda to a smallish room at the back of the house that opened onto the garden. It was empty. Without a word, the servant vanished, leaving Amanda alone in the room. Pale blue curtains fluttered in a warm breeze that wandered in. Beside a row of large, french-door style windows was a low white table and chairs. Amanda sat, having nothing else to do, and looked through the windows out into the garden. Although the house was close to the city center, no sound intruded over the garden walls. It was as though Amanda had followed the servant into a perfect pool of silence. This made her feel vaguely uneasy. It wasn't as though T'Rea were going to murder her or anything, but the fact that the place was so secluded made Amanda feel out of her element. She sighed and fiddled with her scarf in her hands.
After Amanda had been waiting for a few minutes, musing on the nature of her doom, another servant brought in a tea tray and set it down on the table. She barely looked at Amanda and, like the man, departed without saying a word. Amanda waited for a while, but when no T'Rea appeared she poured herself a cup of tea and relaxed into her chair. A butterfly floated past the window, its jewel green wings blurring and clarifying as it passed behind the diaphanous filter of the curtains. Amanda sipped the bitter green tea and waited.
It seemed as though Amanda waited an eternity, although one that she passed in peace. She set aside her anxieties, brushing them away like Ataur had taught her. She was almost beginning to feel sleepy when she heard a soft footstep behind her. She half expected another servant, but it turned out to be T'Rea, revealing herself at last. She was dressed more simply than Amanda had ever seen her, in a day dress that was not quite silver. Her hair was pulled back into a shining bun at the base of her neck. Despite her relaxed appearance, though, T'Rea's face was as hard and blank as an ivory carving. Amanda felt a shudder run down her spine. T'Rea was clearly upset.
"Amanda," T'Rea said, taking the other seat at the little table. She did not touch the tea. Well, not Miss Grayson, that's something at least. T'Rea's gray eyes were as shrouded as a sky choked with clouds. Amanda could not read her at all.
"Hello, T'Rea," Amanda said, her own voice sounding strangely tremulous. She hesitated for a moment, but decided to cut right ahead to the point. T'Rea had never been one to beat about the bush, and she wouldn't appreciate any mincing attempts to cushion the blow from Amanda. "I wanted to apologize...for my behavior. I've been foolish," You are foolish if you believe you have established a bond with a Human, "and I have no excuses, only that I care very much for Sarek, as he does for me."
T'Rea's eyes locked on Amanda's, now piercing gray daggers instead of banked clouds. "That may be," she began, her voice just as smooth and even as ever, "but the situation is causing considerable trouble for both Councilman Skon and myself. I do not know what to say to you, Amanda." Amanda started - she hadn't expected anything like that from T'Rea. Wasn't she supposed to be the one who didn't know anything, the bumbling child-like Human girl? "Councilman Skon has informed me that his son believes you to be his t'hy'la." Amanda felt her cheeks grow hot, and knew she was blushing. "I am not certain whether or not I shall give this belief credence. If you are t'hy'la, then I wish you joy, and will make no protest to your relationship. If this proves, however, to be a mistaken entanglement, then I shall have years of work to repair. In the meantime, I have no opinions on the matter, nor words for you."
Amanda stared blankly at the other woman. She felt strangely sluggish, as though her thoughts had slowed in their tracks. She had no notion what to say, let alone what to do. Finally, feeling as though she were coming out of a daze, Amanda licked her lips and said, not meeting T'Rea's eyes, "I understand. I'm sorry to have intruded on your time - I'll go." She stood up, suddenly desperate to get away. "Until...until you are satisfied that Sarek and I do share a bond, please believe that I never meant to jeapordize you or Councilman Skon, and that I am deeply sorry." Before she could lose her composure and burst into tears, Amanda fled. It had been stupid to call on T'Rea. She should have left the woman alone, and allowed her to fix the damage that Amanda had so clumsily caused.
Amanda didn't wait for a servant to escort her out. She hurried through T'Rea's elegant home, getting turned around once before she managed to find the front door. Once out into the open air again, she began to breathe again, taking huge gulps of air and trying to calm down. An unfamiliar panic was creeping up on her. She felt very much alone, stranded in a city of strangers. Amanda stood in T'Rea's front garden and hugged herself, trying not to hyperventilate and willing her heart to stop skipping so fast. She longed for comfort and solitude and a caring embrace...she wanted Sarek. Without thinking, she reached into her bag and yanked out her PADD, her fingers fumbling on the screen as she sought Sarek's contact information. Finally she managed to initiate the call, and stood trembling by the gate, trying to hide from both the street outside and the members of the house within.
"Amanda," Sarek's voice was tinged with concern, but Amanda had never heard anything so welcome in her life. "Are you all right? Why have you called?"
"Sarek," She said, her words stumbling, "please, can you come get me? I'm at T'Rea's house, I just spoke with her and...I want to see you...please come. I'm afraid." She knew she sounded like a little girl, but so great was her desire to be away from this place that she didn't care. It was as if the meeting with T'Rea had been particularly traumatic, but suddenly Amanda felt as if the world were crashing down around her. All of her worries had ganged up on her and pounced. Sarek, T'Rea, Skon, Prais...she may have destroyed everything, and that knowledge was pressing down on her with crushing weight.
Sarek was clearly alarmed by her distress. She could hear it in his voice on the PADD, but Amanda could also feel it through the link. "I will be there soon," he said, his voice clipped with worry, "Remain calm, Amanda. I shall retrieve you."
"Okay," Amanda said, feeling a wash of embarrassment flood her already tension-ridden body. She didn't want Sarek to hear her like this, to see her like this - but at the same time she craved the comfort and relief that only he could grant her. They closed the call, and Amanda slipped out the gate to stand waiting by the road. She was shivering, despite the heat that swamped her, and she arms wrapped tightly about herself. To her further mortification, tears were stinging her eyes and blurring the street around her. When Sarek's car finally arrived, she couldn't exactly make it out, so much did they impede her vision.
"Amanda, I am here," Sarek was climbing out of the car, hurrying to her. She gulped and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Sarek's face was pale, and she could clearly see the worry in his eyes. "Amanda." He said again, raising a hand to lightly touch her side. It was a far more familiar gesture than any Vulcan would have risked in public, but Amanda knew he couldn't help it. Her worry was bleeding into him, but all the same she hated herself for making him lose his decorum again.
"I'm fine," she lied, scooting away from him. "Just take me away from here. Please." Sarek hesitated, but steered her gently towards the car in any case. Amanda curled up in the passenger seat, bringing her knees up to her chest. She'd done enough crazy Human things today that she didn't care any more. Sarek joined her in the driver's seat quickly.
"Shall I take you home?" He asked as the vehicle whirred into life again.
"No." Amanda said, her voice quiet. "I don't want to go home." Not to my house in Shi'Kahr. I want to go home to Earth.
"Very well." Sarek accelerated and pulled away from T'Rea's home. Amanda felt relieved the instant the building was out of sight. It was as though the walls were wrapped with her anxiety and fear, and it lessened as soon as they were away. She sighed and rested her forehead on her knees, listening to the car's engine and her own breathing for a while. It soothed her somewhat, rhythmic noises that asked nothing of her. All I have to do now is sit here, she told herself. There are no demands on me right now. That thought was immensely reassuring, and even though the car ride was not very long, Amanda felt a lot better when it was over. She looked up when Sarek stopped, and was surprised to see that he had brought her to his house. Well I did tell him I didn't want to go home. The sight was another balm on her worn nerves, however, and she gave Sarek a weak smile.
"Thank you," she said, "for bringing me here." Sarek's face was Vulcan calm, but she could tell that he was still very worried about her.
"Come inside," he said. "I will bring you water, and you can rest." He must be ten times as freaked out as I am, Amanda realized as she got out of the car and was herded towards the house by Sarek, Vulcans do not have nervous breakdowns. He must think I'm losing my mind.
"Sarek, I'm okay now, at least I think I am," Amanda protested as he opened the door for her and led her inside. Sarek said nothing, only pulled her over to a low couch and gently pushed her down to sit. Despite her protestations, it was nice to sit, and nicer to lay her head down. She snuggled against the back of the couch when Sarek left to get her something to drink. In the wake of her fears, she felt oddly calm, if a bit lethargic. Coming to Sarek's house was like retreating to a fortress. Who could touch them here? What could bother them? There would be a time to sort out those problems, but that time was not now. She could rest.
Amanda must have dozed off, for the next thing she knew was Sarek's gentle, warm touch at her shoulder. She blinked and sat up, feeling fuzzy and disheveled.
"Here - it is only water." Sarek said, handing her a glass. Amanda took it gratefully and sipped at it - she wasn't very thirsty, but Sarek seemed to think that it would calm her down. Amanda sighed and rested the glass on her leg, relaxing back into the couch. Sarek took a seat beside her, and Amanda could sense how tense and worried he was. She wanted to say something to reassure him, but she didn't know quite what to say.
"I'm going to be all right now, Sarek," She said. He gave her a dubious look, and Amanda smiled a little. "I just...we're in a rather big mess. And I got overwhelmed." She looked down at the glass in her hands and ran her thumb over the smooth glass. "T'Rea wasn't angry with me. I thought she would be, but she really just refused to talk to me. That was worse, somehow."
"T'Rea is a very clear-minded individual." Sarek said. "She will do what is right."
"But does that mean she will send me home?" Amanda glanced at him. His face still seemed very pale. "If we were on Earth, this would never be such a problem," She said, without really knowing why she said it. "On Earth it isn't so...dreadful to do what your instinct tells you to do. If we were in love on Earth, no one would care." Amanda's stomach twisted - she hadn't intended to say that, but the words had just jumped out of her mouth. In love? What will he think? I never said...
"I am not a Human, Amanda." Sarek said, and his voice was gentle.
"I know that," Amanda said, fiddling more with her glass. She was feeling embarrassed again, but it was the familiar fluffy kind of embarrassed, not the gut-wrenching horrible thing she had just escaped from. "I only wish that things were simpler."
"It will never be simple, for us." Sarek said, and Amanda knew that was true. Neither of them spoke for a long moment, and then finally Sarek said something that made Amanda's heart freeze in her chest. "Would you prefer to end our courtship?"
It was unthinkable. Not for Amanda, although she certainly didn't want to end it, but Vulcans mated for life. Sarek had practically pledged his undying soul to her, and assumed she meant the same. How could he say that now? Did he really think that she was that...unfeeling? "No," Amanda blurted, the word leaping straight from her heart to her mouth without pausing at her brain. "Of course not. I..." she stopped. "I know what a relationship means to you, Sarek. I wouldn't have gotten into this without considering that." She met his eyes and then quickly looked away again. "I hope you know that."
"I do." Sarek said, and Amanda felt the lightest of touches as his hand brushed hers. A blossom of warmth and tingles spread from her fingers where he had touched them. "I do not wish to cease. But I do not wish to keep you bound to me if you would prefer to..."
"Well, I don't prefer to." Amanda said, suddenly stubborn.
"Good." Sarek gave her an almost-smile, but Amanda could see weariness etched on his face. She wondered why she hadn't noticed it before - he looked almost as haggard as she felt. She reached up and brushed his cheek very lightly. His lips parted and he sighed, eyes closing.
"You're tired," Amanda said. "Was your father horrible to you? I'm so sorry I left you, but I couldn't-"
"It is of no matter, Amanda. My father and I quarreled, yes. I do not know what he intends to do. We did not reach a solution upon parting." Sarek's eyes opened again, and she could see re-kindling anger there. "I had thought that my father would listen to reason, but he believes I have betrayed him." Amanda chewed on her lip. She hated to cause more strife between Sarek and his father, but she had a feeling that this was the straw that broke the camel's back, even though Vulcans were not familiar with camels. Wildlife aside guilt was rising in Amanda, and she felt it hard to brush it away.
"What did he say?" She asked, dreading the answer. More horrible phrases and insults about me, she supposed. Sarek passed a hand over his face, brushing dark hair out of his eyes and leaving it somewhat discheveled. The tousled effect was endearing, but it made him look even more weary.
"I could tell you," Sarek said, "but...perhaps you would allow me to show you instead? Recounting the arguement would...I don't wish to say the words he used myself." A green flush had crept across his cheeks, but Amanda knew it was from anger, and not embarrassment.
"Show me?" Amanda asked, puzzled. "How?"
Sarek turned to look at her again, straightening his broad shoulders. "Kash-nohv," he said. "A mind meld." Amanda looked at him blankly. Of course, she had heard the term before. It was a particular ability of Vulcans that they chould share thoughts and memories through a mind meld. Amanda had heard that it was a profoundly intimate experience, and the participants had to be careful to guard certain thoughts and emotions that they did not want to be discovered. How this related to her, however, Amanda did not know.
"But I am not Vulcan." She said.
There was a spark of amusement in Sarek's eyes. "You need not be Vulcan to participate in kash-nohv, although it is helpful to the process if one is not psi-null." He said. "And you, Amanda, are very far from psi-null." Amanda knew that term as well - Humans were practically psi-null, as they could neither send nor recieve telepathic information. She'd heard that Vulcans found them rather dull because of it. "Do I have your permission, Amanda?" Sarek continued.
"Uh, yes." Amanda replied, after hesitating for a moment. "What exactly will happen, though?"
"I apologize, I should have explained." Sarek said. "I shall place my hand on your face, like this," he demonstrated, his long fingers moving to touch very lightly on her forehead and by her nose and mouth. His touch was abnormally warm and tingled very slightly.
"It tickles," Amanda said, with a little smile.
"Indeed," Sarek said gravely. "Does it bother you?"
"No," Amanda said. It was quite pleasant, really, and Amanda felt as though their bond had become more narrowed and focused. It was difficult to think about anything but Sarek, but she often had that problem in other situations.
"When I initiate the meld, our minds will join. I shall be able to share memories and thoughts with you directly. I will not intrude any farther upon you or hurt you. Do you trust me?" Sarek's dark eyes were focused directly on hers. Amanda felt a shiver run down her spine.
"Yes," she said quietly. She was suddenly nervous, but excited as well. To share so closely with him was...arousing, she had to admit it. A different sort of sharing, but one just as intimate.
"Then I will begin. Naph, hif-bi yu throks. Give your thoughts to me."
At first, Amanda felt nothing, and she wondered if she were doing something wrong. Suddenly she felt an odd little poke. It was similar to the feeling when she missed a step going up the stairs, or ran into something by accident, although this was not as jarring. The prod came again, and then Amanda felt a sensation of...blending, of the edges of her mind going fuzzy and interweaving with another. The sensation stole over her slowly, but suddenly she wasn't alone. Amanda couldn't help giving a little gasp. Suddenly it wasn't just her in the blackness behind her eyes. It was an indescribably strange sensation - she felt openness and the sensation of space, but she wasn't alone. Sarek was with her, as definitely Sarek as he was through the bond, but increased tenfold. She felt the beat of his heart and breathed with his lungs, while at the same time experiencing the same sensations of her own. Amanda was fascinated. She wanted to jump into the new space and explore, to hear Sarek's voice the way he heard it, to know the world the way he knew it. She pushed against his presence, revelling in the connection and the joy of being so close to him that they were one and the same.
As she ventured forth, however, Amanda felt Sarek's heartbeat quicken, and took in a gasp of air with his body. Amanda, she heard Sarek's voice say, I promised I would not intrude, but I should have asked the same from you. He was pleased, she could feel his amusement, but she backed off. I'm sorry! I didn't realize.
Do not be sorry. I was worried that I would frighten you, but it appears that I did not.
No. Amanda curled around him, feeling as contented as a purring kitten. It is amazing to be with you. Sarek reciprocated, and for a moment there was nothing wrong in the world. It was only them together, and nothing else was important.
May I show you? Sarek asked after a moment, and Amanda felt the sensation of slight disentanglement. She was confused for a moment, but then remembered. She had forgotten everything after the first moment they had blended together. Oh! Yes.
What happened next was both strange and fascinating. Amanda saw images forming before her, collecting and becoming more solid, as though someone were painting with watercolors on very wet paper. It was only a few moments before everything came together, and she was in Councilman Skon's study. She recognized the room, but not in the way she knew it. Sarek's memories and thoughts and rememberances were all over the room, displaying it in a very different light than Amanda had seen through her own eyes. The desk that had once been taller than he was, the window that overlooked the garden, the chair where his mother used to sit when she came in to speak with his father.
The Councilman was there, not seated at his desk, but standing before it. He did not stand still, but paced, his hands clasped behind his back in the way Sarek had learned from him. Amanda saw it and knew it at the same time. It was a bit distracting to be seeing and feeling everything with the many layers of Sarek's experience covering it all. Amanda tried to focus, as Skon was beginning to speak.
"I am greatly displeased with you, Sarek." Skon's voice was more expressive than Amanda had ever heard it. Of course he would not be as reserved before his son. "This is the most unsuitable match you could have made. I do not deny that Miss Grayson is a capable young woman, but this is not...right."
Amanda, through Sarek, felt anger glow hotly in her chest. It threatened to consume her, but she knew how to contain it. "Then what objection could you have? Amanda is intelligent and far above psi-null. She would be remarkable even if she were not Human, but as it is she is perfectly suited to -"
"A Human," Skon said, acid burning in his voice, "is no equal to a Vulcan in these matters, no matter how remarkable she may be."
"We are bonded!" Her voice raised, she fought to control the anger raging in Sarek's mind. "Must I have a Healer attest to it? Would you believe it if T'Pau saw it for herself?" Skon's rigid face went white - Amanda knew through Sarek's memories that T'Pau was the Matriarch of their family, a woman of powerful telepathic capabilities and even more powerful convictions.
"T'Pau must not learn of this," Skon said. "It is not the bond, Sarek -"
"Tell me, Father," Sarek interrupted, "with what reasons you believe you can defend yourself. Tell me."
Skon's own fury flared at this, like a low fire suddenly fed with gasoline. "How can the objections not be apparent to you? You know I harbor no ill will towards Amanda, but there is no possible future for the two of you together. She may have telepathic capability, but what shall happen to her when you enter ponn farr? You will hurt her, Sarek. Her body will not be strong enough to endure you, nor will she be able to defend her mind. You will leave wounds that cannot heal."
Sarek's heartbeat - her heartbeat - sped up. He looked away from Skon, clenching his teeth together. Sarek knew the danger, knew how much he could hurt her, but he would not. He would not allow himself to hurt her, no matter what the cost. "I will not," he said. "Amanda is strong, she can protect herself. I will not hurt her."
Skon's face contorted into something like a sneer. "You are too young, Sarek," he said. "The blood fever has not truly taken you yet. I assure you that no Human woman could stand up to you when it takes control of you. What shall you do if you kill her, or break her mind beyond repair?"
"Vulcans have taken Human mates before," Sarek said, his voice coming out strangled. Amanda felt the tension in his shoulders, the rapid thrum of his heartbeat. His anger was now mixed with a degree of fear. Fear for her.
"At great risk," Skon said. "It is dangerous, and she does not even know."
"She will know." Sarek forced himself to even his breathing, to calm his heartbeat. Amanda felt him bend his will on his body, and it complied. "I shall tell her. Amanda will be free to leave me if she wishes, but I will not allow you to separate us. Our bond is made. We have shared dreams. We are t'hy'la...it is undeniable."
Skon passed a hand over his face. His anger was cooling rapidly, he only looked weary now, and grave. "Sarek, I worry for you. If you are correct, and Miss Grayson is your t'hy'la...have you considered what kind of life it would be? You would never have children. There is no possibility that she could bear you any."
"There is possibility," Sarek said. "And perhaps I do not want children. How could I deny the bond I have with her, Father? You know it is not possible. I shall never want to leave her."
"Humans are not so strong, Sarek. Even with your ponn farr approaching, she could destroy you far more easily than you could destroy her."
Amanda felt as though she was waking up from a dream. The memory faded as smoothly as it began, becoming shadow and then fog, and then nothing. They were in the present again, together, and Amanda could feel their hearts beating again, very slightly elevated.
I have shown you. Sarek's anguish was deep. She enveloped it and banished it, giving him instead her affection and comfort. Why are you afraid? She asked. She touched him, gently, smoothing away the worry. I am here, I am yours.
You do not know all.
I'll learn. Stay with me, just for now. I want to be close to you. Amanda ventured a little further into him, and this time he did not send her away. He reciprocated in kind, and Amanda felt a thrill as he blended farther with her. She felt as though her soul were open to him, and his to her. She couldn't resist the desire to explore, to learn all their combinations and patterns and weaves. It was like being held tight in his arms, but so perfectly and completely that it made her want to cry. Amanda practically glowed, in soft colors of light and shadow.
And Amanda felt Sarek glowing, too, in different colors that were the perfect companion to hers. She welcomed them, carressing, and a bright flare of something different awoke in her. She knew Sarek felt it too - a deep feeling. Desire. At first Amanda pulled away from it, knowing she shouldn't push Sarek too far, but he caught her and drew her back. And the feeling of being wanted was too powerful for her to resist. Suddenly, she felt warmth and pressure on her physical limbs, and Sarek was leaning into her, kissing her.
Very slowly the link between them faded, shifted and changed into physical connection. Sarek's kisses were gentle at first, soft and slow as they had always been. Once again, however, every part of her egging her on, Amanda slid his mouth open and her tongue against his. This time, though, Sarek didn't suddenly pounce on her, unrestrained. Without any timidness, he met her kisses, pushing further until they were locked together, and every touch of his lips and tongue made melting heat travel down Amanda's spine.
Without really knowing why, Amanda reached down and found Sarek's hand at her waist. Before he had time to react, she had pulled his hand away and interlaced her fingers with his. Sarek's reaction was delicious. His breath caught in his throat and he made a little groan. Amanda, feeling a rush of playful wickedness, drew her hand away and stroked his hand, sliding her fingers across his in the most sensuous manner she could manage. That got more of a response than she expected. Sarek caught her hand in his, and she could feel him breathing hard against her cheek. He drew back and his eyes met hers - but instead of shame or anger, Amanda saw lust burning hotly there. She felt a jolt of arousal travel down her spine. The intensity of his stare was enough to make her shudder.
"I should like to take you upstairs, to my bedroom," Sarek's voice was dark and slightly hoarse. "Do you consent?" Amanda would have giggled at his phrasing if she wasn't so intensely turned on. She simply nodded, still staring into his overbright eyes.
Without letting go of her hand, Sarek pulled her gently off the couch. She couldn't help glancing down as he led her up the stairs - he was clearly just as ready as she was. It was hard to tear her eyes off his erection. Amanda knew she was blushing hotly, but her body was flooded with such a joyous excitement that she didn't mind in the least. When they reached his bedroom, Sarek shut the door behind them and immediately pulled her to him. His kisses were hungry now, although not overwhelming. He pushed her gently back to his bed, and Amanda happily fell back onto the covers.
Sarek hesitated for a moment, but then unbuttoned his collar and pulled his shirt over his head. Amanda bit her lip, smiling in appreciation - Sarek was well built, but not overbearingly muscular, and Amanda admired the swell of every muscle. There was a fine cover of dark hair across his chest. She pulled him down to her again, exploring the smoothness of his skin, although one of her hands was still clasped in his. Her palm and fingers were tingling in a very pleasant sensual way, and Amanda wondered what the feeling was like for Sarek.
It is incredbily arousing. Amanda started, but grinned into his kiss, before reaching over and running the fingers of her other hand across his knuckles. Amanda felt him stiffen against her as another little moan escaped him. The noise went straight through Amanda - her mind was beginning to get fuzzy with desire. She gently let go of his hands and undid the fastening of her blouse. Before she could pull it off, however, Sarek had brushed her hands away and did it for her. Suddenly shy, Amanda looked up at him. His eyes were on her breasts, and when he slid his hands over them Amanda nearly shuddered.
It wasn't long before they had both shed the rest of their clothes. Sarek knelt over her, his cock rigidly hard and tinged green with the color of his blood. Amanda had wondered, before, if that would bother her - but she was certain now that it didn't bother her in the least. Sarek was hesitating, though, she could sense his nerves. Amanda propped herself up on one elbow, reaching out to stroke his erection. It was wonderfully smooth beneath her fingers, and she heard Sarek's breath catch again. "We don't have to," She said, ceasing her caress. "We can stop."
"No." Sarek leaned down and kissed her, his mouth soft and warm against hers. "I want to. Taluhk nash-veh k'dular. I love you." Amanda sighed as she felt the tip of his cock brush against her lips. She helped guide him to her entrance, feeling her heartbeat flutter faster and faster. In one smooth movement he entered her, and Amanda whimpered as she felt herself open for him.
Amanda's experience with sex had not been quite extensive. She hadn't met anyone who had really made her enjoy sex. Most often she left feeling rather sore and disappointed. It was clear to her from the beginning, though, that it would be different this time. Sarek began slowly, pulling himself nearly all the way out before thrusting into her again. Amanda couldn't help letting out a little moan every time he entered her - each thrust was smooth and slow and wonderful. Sarek gazed down at her, his lips parted and his hair falling into his eyes. His face was more open and expressive than she had ever seen it.
Soon Sarek began to pick up speed, his thrusts deeper and longer. Amanda felt herself tightening around him, her pleasure mounting. She had expected Sarek to be as quiet as the grave, but not so - he began to make little, almost desperate noises as their speed increased. Amanda arched her back and sighed with pleasure; every time Sarek's cock entered her a jolt of ecstasy washed through her. She reached up and slid her hands beneath his, interlacing their fingers. Sarek groaned aloud and pushed deeper into her, making Amanda tense deliciously. She could feel his pleasure, too, soaking into her through the bond. It was intoxicating - feeling his intense arousal at how wet and open she was.
"Amanda," Sarek gasped, "I want...to join with you," He couldn't have said anything more erotic. Amanda grabbed his hand and brought it up to her face, her own breath coming ragged and hard.
"Do it, please," She said, her voice half a whisper. Sarek had barely touched her before she felt him flooding into her. She gasped with the intensity of the feeling. They entwined and tangled together, and Amanda could feel every racing beat of his heart as Sarek got closer to climax. She cried out and dug her fingers into his arm, overwhelmed by pleasure and wanting more of it , needing more, needing him. Her orgasm flooded through her and she clung to Sarek, feeling her muscles tighten and tense around him. But she had barely enough time to breathe before Sarek was coming too, and she felt all of it: the intense, hot rush as he pumped into her.
For a long moment afterwards they just lay there, Amanda listening to the steady rhythm of their breathing as it slowed. Weariness was creeping over her, but it felt good, a descent into sleepiness and warmth. Sarek's mind gently pulled away from hers, and while she instantly felt the loss of him, it was not a painful loss. Sarek shifted and drew out of her, but he drew her close into his arms. Neither of them said anything - there wasn't any need to. Amanda could feel Sarek's content and peace just as she felt her own. Tangled up with him, in his bed, made Amanda feel as safe as she had ever felt in her life. Sleep began to creep up on her then, like a dog sniffing around something tasty. Amanda buried her face in Sarek's collarbone and inhaled his scent.
Amanda knew that there were many questions left unanswered - many things that she needed to think hard about and possibly worry about. The world outside was a chaotic mess, all snared wires waiting to trip her up. Right now, though, she was safe, protected, loved. Screw it, Amanda thought as she began to descend towards sleep, I'll deal with that crap tomorrow. Right now, this is where I belong.
I agree, Amanda.
Author's Note: Ta-dah! Your patience has been rewarded! I hope it was everything you dreamed it would be...this was my first ever sex scene. I realize that it's like, super duper long. I hope that's okay :( Anyway, this was a very fun chapter to write, although it did take longer because I kept having to pause to think of a synonym for 'pleasure'.
Just a heads up - I'm currently away from home, spending a little vacation time with the significant other, so chapters are going to be a little slower in coming. And, in two weeks, I'm headed off to Italy to spend three months studying art. I'm not quite sure what that will do to this story - as far as I can tell right now, I'll be just as happy to write about Vulcans in Italy as I am in the States. Should the situation change, I will let you guys know and go on a formal hiatus rather than just leaving everyone in the lurch!
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it 3