NOTE FROM RIOTTORI: MY HEART WAS ACTUALLY HAMMERING WRITING THIS. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. EVERYTHING WILL BE RESOLVED.
Ana:
"Why do you even want him anyway?" she's asking. "After what we did to you?" I hate that she's using 'we' for her and Christian. But he had given her the right with his actions.
She continues to jab at my pain with her words. "We fucked all over your apartment, we slept together in your bed. You've read the manuscript, you know what we got up to in The Red Room. Do you really want him back after all that?"
I shake my head, slowly, sadly.
She feeds off my weakness. "The only reason we stopped was because he got caught. He felt guilty. You are the mother of his children, after all." She makes it sound like an accusation. "But he loves me." She's almost shouting now, her emotion raw and obvious.
"Did he let you touch him?" I ask. I need to know.
She blinks, caught off-guard. "Of course. We were lovers."
"Where?"
"Everywhere."
"On his chest?"
She eyes me, unsure. "Yes."
"What about his scars?"
"Which scars?" She sounds confused.
"His scars on his legs from the accident?" I'm bluffing. I watch her slow nod, her eyes fill with relief. "Yes, I touched those scars. I kissed those scars." I get my answer. She has no idea what I'm talking about. She's lying.
"OK," I say, suddenly decisive. "I'll make a deal. You give me the manuscript and sign an NDA and I'll divorce Christian."
I watch her consider the deal, work it round her mind. "I want you to stay away from us," she says. "I don't want you getting in the way."
"Fine."
"Phone him now. With me present. Phone your husband and tell him you want a divorce." I swallow. You can do this.
"And then you'll sign?" She nods, her eyes wide, she's sitting forward in her chair in anticipation.
I put the phone on speaker and dial the number that I know so well – his cell. The seconds spin by as we wait for him to answer.
"Ana?" He sounds tense. It's our first contact since this Alice shit-storm hit, when he read the manuscript and the scales fell from his eyes. I didn't want him to know about this meeting – I wanted to handle it.
"Christian." I sound cold, resigned. Alice, across the desk, smiles. "I need you to set up a meeting with Michael. I'm filing for divorce." I brace myself for his reaction. There may be too much feeling to give Alice any hope. I know my husband still loves me and is desperate not to lose me. He visited Dr Black with me, he ripped out The Red Room.
"Fine," he replies, his ice meeting mine. I repress the gasp that threatens to escape from me. He's fine with this. He's given up the fight. "I'll schedule a meeting for next week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm very busy." The line goes dead and I feel my world darken a little more.
Alice stretches, cat-like, basking in the light of her win.
"Oops," she purrs. "That was easier than I thought. He offered you absolutely no resistance. He's happy to get away from you, I told you!"
I replace the handset and bite my lower lip, determined not to cry. I don't want to fuel her flames of hatred even more.
I take a ragged breath. "Right. Now your part of the deal. I'll run off a copy of an NDA for you to sign and a contract for the manuscript. No matter what happens between you and my husband, no matter what he's put me through, I don't want any of it getting out."
"That's just what I've been banking on, Mrs Grey. Your sweetness isn't just an affectation, is it? It goes all the way through you. You should learn to be a bit meaner. It will help you in this life." She frowns at me while she imparts this advice, as if I'm pathetic, dumb.
We wait in silence for the paperwork to print.
I'm back in business-mode as I run her through the contract for her manuscript.
"It doesn't really matter," she says, languidly. "It's never going to see the light of day."
"I just want this done properly," I respond.
"Give me a pen. I want to get this over with."
She glances at the paperwork, turns the first page over, skims down, flicks through, quickly. "Where do I sign?" She sounds bored, as if I'm keeping her.
I lean over the desk, press my forefinger on a few lines. She signs with flourish. I turn the page, she signs at the bottom. I've gone over this process hundreds of times over the years but I've never felt more nervous.
I pull the contract from her and hand her the NDA. I watch her eyes scan the page. I try to control my breathing, try to calm my hammering heart. The pen is in her hand, she's about to sign. I'm leaning forward, willing her. Her pen makes contact with the paper. I close my eyes, listen to the scratch of her signature, relish the sound. I open my eyes, and take the NDA. I pick up the contract with her signature that she has just willingly given to me and the NDA and head to the safe. I type in the combination code, place the documents safely in and close the door.
I can feel the smile spread from ear to ear as I turn to face Alice. Her own victorious smirk slides from her face when she sees mine.
"Oh, you silly little girl," I say, my voice sounding like the voice. "First rule of business. You must always read before you sign." The voice and I laugh as one.