Amanda had only just said goodbye to Ataur and left the gardens when she received a message on her PADD. To her very great surprise, it was not from Sarek or T'Rea or George, but from Councilman Skon. An unpleasant electric shock traveled through her upon seeing the name. What could he want with me? Is he apologizing? Or maybe he's telling me that I have to pack up and leave. Amanda's finger hovered above the "read" button on her PADD screen, held back by her dread for what the message might contain. Finally she powered the screen off and shoved the thing back in her bag. She would read it when she got home - she didn't want to get bad news where she was so visible.
Amanda felt jittery for the entirety of the walk home. She desperately wanted to stay in Shi'Kahr, even if she didn't get her position back. Being sent home in disgrace would break her heart, for more than one reason. Her distress screwed itself up into a little ball and sat heavily on her mind like a paperweight. It wasn't long before she felt confusion and concern ebbing from Sarek, but she couldn't do much to reassure him. She couldn't explain to him over the bond when they were not in direct contact with each other, so she just tried to calm herself instead. She could still feel his worry skirting around the edge of her, but he would have to wait.
When she reached her little home, Amanda paused underneath the giant flowering shrub outside her door. The purple flowers were beginning to curl, and Amanda wondered if the plant had reached the end of its flowering season. She brushed a half-bloomed bud with her fingertips, and the touch of the silky petals seemed to fortify her. Amanda went inside and sat down on the little couch with resolution - she would take whatever news the message conveyed with strength.

Miss Grayson,
I wish to speak with you on the matter of your relationship with my son. Please attend me at my home at 11h00 tomorrow morning. Your suspension from the Institute is still in place. You will not be returned home for the time being.
Councilman Skon

Well, it was short and to the point. Amanda swallowed and set her PADD down on her lap. So Skon was planning to have it out with her...and from his words, Amanda assumed that her fate would be decided at this meeting. Perhaps he was giving her a chance to stand up for herself. On the other hand, he could just be summoning her to make her dismissal nice and formal. Amanda frowned and licked her lips, thinking. If anyone was going to dismiss her, it would be T'Rea, right? She was, after all, head of the fellowship program. At least I'll hear my sentencing from T'Rea, then, assuming she'll speak to me.
Amanda sighed and flopped back on the couch. It was terrible to get in so much trouble for loving someone - or at least, being in a relationship with someone. She knew Sarek loved her, and she certainly...cared for him. Shouldn't that be enough for his father? Unless Skon was sincerely concerned for what might happen to her when his son entered ponn farr, although Amanda suspected that he was more worried about what Sarek might do than what would happen to her. Being in control was so important to Vulcans - was it as much of a horror if a Vulcan lost themselves during the fever of ponn farr? Or was it worse?
It's time, Amanda decided, to call George.

"Aww, Amanda, that's a bunch of bullshit." George was back on his ship now, and once again looking tired. It was strange how much of his vivacity receded when he was away from Winona...or perhaps it was the stress of his work. In any case, his expressive face was full of concern, and Amanda felt the same warmth she'd experienced when she'd noticed Ataur's worry for her. I have people to rely on, even out here. "They aren't keeping you from seeing Sarek, are they?"
"No, they don't really have the power to do that. But I do have to go speak with his father tomorrow, and I'm pretty worried about what's going to happen." Amanda said, fiddling with a stray lock of hair. "I don't know if they'll banish me or put me in jail or what."
"They won't put you in jail," George said with a hint of a smile. "And if they do, I'll come bust you out, with all the Starfleet colors blazing. It sounds to me like they don't have any reason to be angry with you, they're just being hypersensitive. You know, like Vulcans usually are." Amanda gave him a look and he laughed. "I'm sorry. It's just...I don't know, nothing like this would ever happen on Earth. Tellarites run off with Andorians and Humans couple up with Orions, and no one cares. It's only Vulcans who are so chilly about it."
Amanda sighed. "I know. You have to understand, though, that it's a huge part of their cultural identity - the bonding thing. I think Skon is insulted that his son has bonded with a Human. I get the feeling that he's always expected perfection from Sarek. No matter how good I am, I'm still a Human, and I can't make up for that. It's like Sarek has betrayed something essentially Vulcan, you know?"
George frowned and shook his head. "Times are changing. Relations with Vulcan were wildly different last generation, and they'll be even more so next generation. Who knows, our children might go far beyond what we ever imagined was possible. We have to adjust - all of us have to adjust."
Amanda chewed her lip. "If only everyone thought like you, George."
George shrugged, his smile returning. "That wouldn't be any fun. I like being the only one who can think like me."
And Amanda had to laugh. When they hung up twenty minutes later, Amanda felt heartened. Even that simple, short conversation with George was enough to bolster her for the rest of the day. In her bath that night she reflected on how important his friendship had been to her. She had made the most important relationships of her life in these past months. Amanda picked up her bar of soap and stared at it for a long moment without really seeing it. Even in the middle of this mess, I feel lucky, she realized. A great wash of affection for Sarek and her friends settled on her, and Amanda smiled to herself. I'm just a conduit of love, she thought, I give it and receive it, and that makes everything worthwhile.
Something tugged at her mind, a little insistent urge that made her heart give a funny jump. Did she...should she tell Sarek? Her former calm was now instantly replaced with a half excited, half terrified energy. But what if she didn't really feel it, and it was a lie? It would be horrible to tell that lie, especially since...But, then again...
In a surge of recklessness, Amanda pushed these thoughts aside and barrelled ahead. Sarek? She poked at the bond in her mind, the causeway that connected her thoughts to Sarek's. Almost instantly, she felt his reply, a general curiosity and slight hint of worry that didn't need words to be explained. She tried to line up how to say it, how to tell him - and suddenly lost her nerve. Um. Nevermind.
Are you certain? There is something troubling you.
Amanda froze, scrambling for some plausible answer. But she didn't have to come up with a lie - something was troubling her, apart from the wild urge to confess her feelings that had suddenly possessed her. Your father wants me to come see him tomorrow. I think he's going to make a decision about me.
As distant as they were from each other, Amanda felt Sarek's anger flare as though she had been able to read it on his face. It took a moment before the feeling receded. Amanda blinked, trying to reconcile an emotion that hadn't been her own. I was not aware of this, Sarek's communication was still edged with anger, but he managed to get a hold on it. I must speak with my father. There was a pause. Amanda.
Yes?
My father's decision means nothing. You shall stay here on Vulcan if you wish to, and I will not abandon you. Amanda felt the sudden sting of tears behind her eyes. She hadn't considered what would happen if Skon decided to send her away, not really. It was clear to her now, however, that there was no alternative. I will stay.

Amanda wished that she could say that she was no longer afraid after that, but her worry chewed at her throughout the rest of the night. It took her much longer to fall asleep than usual, and anxieties chased their tails in her head while she fought to get comfortable. Needless to say, it was a rough night, and when Amanda finally gave up and got out of bed, she felt tired and cranky. The upside of getting up early was that she had plenty of time to get ready, and to get her thoughts in order. Amanda paid careful attention to her toilette, selecting a modest dress in moth gray and pulling her hair back in a simple Vulcan style. I've finally figured out how to do this without T'Iva's help, Amanda thought as she tucked in another pin, and now I'm not sure if I'll be able to use it.

After lingering a little too long over her makeup, Amanda descended to breakfast, although there was a surprise waiting for her there. Sarek was standing in her living room, looking agitated, as though something were burning beneath his skin. His expression relaxed when he caught sight of Amanda, who was both surprised and pleased. "Hello," She said, going to him and pressing a kiss to his cheek - she felt his heart skip as her lips brushed his skin. "What are you doing here? I didn't expect you."

"Good morning, Amanda. My father has forbidden me to accompany you on your visit," Sarek said, some of the stiffness melting off him. "However, I desired to be with you, and I shall be by your side until he formally summons you." Amanda gave him a genuine smile, touched that he was so determined to protect her.

"Have breakfast with me, then," She said, sounding more cheerful than she actually felt, "And then we'll go together." Nevertheless, her mood was significantly improved, and they enjoyed a nice meal together, even though Amanda had to force herself to eat. Her stomach was tying itself in a little nervous knot, and it was only Sarek's presence that encouraged her to eat. She kept trying to reassure herself that whatever Skon said, it didn't matter - she and Sarek were both adults and could make their own way. The only thing in the balance here was her job, and if Skon was determined to take that from her, then there was nothing she could do, and no reason to worry. Sarek noticed her tension, Amanda knew, but both of them were aware that there was nothing more to be said. Their decisions had been made, and it was only Skon who was left to make his verdict.

Whether any of the Councilman's household was surprised to see their young master was beyond Amanda's powers of observation. As soon as they arrived at the grand house, Amanda was whisked away upstairs, barely able to say goodbye to Sarek before Skon's secretary ushered her away to the Councilman's study. Amanda turned for a last look at Sarek before she entered the lion's den, and there was such a look of love and concern in his eyes that she felt bolstered. Soon, however, Sarek was out of her sight, as the secretary had led her up to the second floor of the house. The Councilman's study was near the back of the house, where Amanda knew it had a wonderful view of the gardens. The antechamber that she was shown into, however, did not. Amanda sat alone and uncomfortable in a luxurious chair, wondering if Skon was keeping her waiting because he was busy or because he wanted to intimidate her. Whether it was his intention or not, it was working.

Finally, the door ahead of her opened. Amanda stood immediately, clenching her hands to keep them from shaking. She would not show any signs of her nerves in that office - she would not show any signs of anything. Resolute, but privately wondering how long it would take her brittle armor to break, Amanda advanced into the study and shut the door behind her.

Councilman Skon was not seated behind his desk, as she had supposed he would be. Instead, he was standing at the window, looking out across the gardens, his hands folded neatly behind his back in the same attitude she had seen Sarek use a hundred times before. He appeared not to notice her, and Amanda, puzzled, tried to determine what he was looking at. A small dark shape wheeled across the sky visible through the large window. It took Amanda a moment to realize what it was, but when she did, her heart thudded harder in her chest. It was Tau. Sarek had gone out into the gardens to see the birds. Amanda felt a pang of longing to see Kaht, and watch the two birds together in the sky. It was at that moment, though, that Sarek's father seemed to notice her presence.

"Miss Grayson," He said, turning to look at her. His deeply lined face was set in a severe, grave mask. Amanda remembered its usual, pleasant calm, and felt her spirits sink to see his attitude towards her so changed. "Please take a seat." He gestured to a chair in front of his desk, and Amanda sat, feeling as though she had no choice in the matter. Skon remained standing, surveying her from his considerable height like a king looking down on a subject. Something about this irked Amanda - she stood. She didn't want to be looked down on like that.

"No, thank you, I don't think I will." She said.

"Very well. I would like to speak to you about my son, now."

"Yes?"

So far, so good, Amanda thought as Skon paused to martial his thoughts. She stood as straight as possible, her eyes fixed on his. She wouldn't waver - what happened in her future was her choice. Skon hesitated for a moment, and finally looked away. As he did, something seemed to drain out of him, and there was little energy in his voice as he said "I believe I shall sit, in any case." He crossed to his desk and sat down, then turned his gaze back to Amanda.

"I would like to begin by saying that I am not at all concerned for you. In cases of Vulcans and Humans engaging in romantic relationships, there is considerable danger to both individuals. However, I believe that in this situation, there is a far greater danger to my son than there is to you. I have always paid careful attention to his welfare. Since his mother's death, Sarek's upbringing has been solely my responsibility, and I have taken my duties seriously." Skon steepled his hands in front of him, and Amanda wondered if this was a posture he assumed when he was concentrating on a problem. "Sarek has informed me that you are now aware of the nature of ponn farr?"

Amanda blinked, and nodded, somewhat taken aback by the question. "Yes, I am."

"You must, therefore, be aware of the risks that your relationship places on my son in this matter. Were he to kill or damage you, as lamentable as that occasion would be on your account, it is Sarek whose health would be more seriously compromised. I have determined, through speaking with him, that you do indeed have a strong bond. That is to say, I am certain that he has attached a strong bond to you; whether or not the attachment is reciprocal is out of my knowledge. My observations have led me to this conclusion: should he injure you, Sarek would suffer. Should you abandon him, Sarek would suffer. In order for me to endorse this match, I must place a great deal of faith on you. While I am certain of your stability in terms of Human capability, I am not assured of your ability to function in Vulcan capabilities. A Vulcan's mate is not only his romantic partner, but also his protection - against the darker aspects of his nature. You must forgive me when I say that I am not confident in your ability to protect my son."

For a moment, Amanda could do nothing but stand there and blink. Skon had just rattled off such a long statement, charged with so much information that Amanda had to take a few seconds to process. "With respect, sir," Amanda said finally, the words coming slowly, "isn't your son more suited to determine the strength of his mate than you are?"

Skon's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. "Under normal conditions I would say yes. However, Sarek has seemed to have developed a mild case of insanity, and I do not believe he is quite capable -"

"Pardon me for interrupting," Amanda interrupted, "but I believe, sir, that you should stop worrying about having faith in me, and have faith in your son. He is intelligent and responsible and, I should think, knows his own soul better than you know it." A small part of Amanda's mind was banging on the walls and shrieking, scared witless by the words that the rest of her was producing. She just had to ignore it - she was in too deep to stop now. "If you don't trust me, trust your son. He loves me, and that should be enough validation for you."

Skon's reply came as swift and sharp as a snake bite. "I am aware of that. Do you love him?"

Before Amanda could think, before she could put up any barriers to hold back the words, she said "Yes. Of course I do." It was as though she had drawn back the curtains and flooded a room with blinding sunlight. She stood there for a moment, amazed by her own words, and yet Skon was reacting to her statement with very little astonishment. He doesn't realize that I've just found that out, Amanda thought vaguely, her thoughts now as thick and fluffy as cotton candy. How funny.

"Nevertheless," Skon was saying, while Amanda still stood there steamrolled by her own realization, "It is impractical - you are too great a risk." Finally Amanda marshaled herself. She drew herself up to her full height and fixed Skon with her best stare.

"That," she said, her voice as even and cool as a polished river stone, "is a risk you will have to live with. No matter your opinion, or your decision, we'll be together. It's just going to happen." Amanda's eyebrows knit very slightly, the only show of emotion she would permit herself. "I have been wondering, actually...Sarek and I are t'hy'la. You know we are. That is the best validation we can have, the strongest a bond can be, and you still don't want to accept it. Why?"

For a long moment, Skon said nothing, his dark eyes watching Amanda's face as inscrutable as the depths of night. Finally, he let out a deep breath and placed his palms flat on his desk. "I have no excuse other than that I only desire what is best for my son," He said, in a warmer voice than he had yet used. "I have spoken to Sarek, and I have spoken to you, and it seems that have been given no choice. Can I put my trust in you, Amanda?"

"Yes," Amanda replied. "You can trust me." She wanted to smile, but let it reach only her eyes. Looking into Sarek's father's face, she thought maybe she could see a smile in his eyes as well. And outside, two birds, one gold and one crimson, spun in the sky together.

Author's Note: I appear to have hit a bit of writer's block. I know what I want to write, but getting it out onto paper has proved difficult recently. I hope you'll forgive the time this chapter took, and the shortness of it. I promise that there will be better chapters in the future. I give this one about a C+. Let's see if I can get it back to A again :)

ps. I recently found a ton of factual errors in the previous chapters. Eventually they'll be fixed, but for the time being I'm going to write new stuff instead. When I'm finished I'll go back and make everything as it should be 3

oh pps. Can you guys see the cover image? Is it legible? I drew that myself, so I hope you can. I've been meaning to ask about this for ages but I kept forgetting!