Chapter 15 – Tough

Juliet wandered aimlessly, she didn't know what to make of what had just happened. She had thought that she maybe was falling out of love with Charlie – well not so much that, maybe that she was in love with a man that didn't exist any more or maybe never had. She was confused as to what he had said and had to stop herself turning tail and running all the way back to their little house and begging him not to go, to tell him he could treat her as badly as he liked as long as he stayed.

She sighed as she took a seat on a bench in the park, watching a dad play football with his sons in the fading light, watching a mother push a pram across the grass towards them, a small dog on a lead hindering her progress until she let it off the lead. Watching the boys chase around with the dog as the dad leaned into the pram, then smiled up at his wife and kissed her on the cheek. Juliet watched them thinking that she'd assumed subconsciously that one day her and Charlie would be like that. But he'd changed since they'd moved in together, with the loss of his magic, and she wasn't sure she could cope with him constantly being resentful. Then she felt guilty for feeling like that. Wasn't love all about taking the good with the bad? Was she just willing to give up at the first hurdle? Before they'd even got started?

She stood and walked some more, thinking about her predicament. She loved Charlie but it had all been very fast, they hadn't really had time to absorb how they felt about each other, never mind accept that Charlie had lost something so important in his life. It had cost him so much, his independence, the job he adored and so much more. He had told her once that her and his family were the only things he had left that he could trust because he had no idea what was going to happen to him. But could she put his happiness first at the expense of her own?

As she mused these things, thoughts chasing themselves round and round her mind she wandered, she had no idea of the passage of time, at some point it had gotten dark although Juliet barely noticed.

''Merlin woman where on earth have you been?'' Juliet heard Charlie's voice behind her and whirled round, realising all at once from the dark and deserted streets how late it must have become.

''Charlie I was just...'' well what was she just? She wondered to herself, deciding whether or not to abandon him to his fate? That's if he hadn't already done it for her by moving out.

''I don't care'' he stated ''As long as you are OK, and here that's what matters'' he reached as if to hug her and fell back, unsure of himself.

She reached and and touched his arm gently, still unable to meet his eyes,

''What's happened to us Charlie?'' she said quietly.

''Nothing'' he answered simply ''We are normal, all couples argue and this situation with you know, my er magic is stressful. I've been such a selfish bastard and I'm so glad that you have told me because I think, well I hope that I can repair this?''

''We can do it together?'' she answered his question with one of her own.

He did put his arms around her now, pulling her close to him. She held on tight to him, burying her face into his chest, tears threatening to choke anything she might say.

''Just promise me that you will tell me if I get out of hand again?'' he asked into her hair ''Before you think of going, or kicking me out? I was so scared, when I said an hour and you hadn't come back I thought that you'd really had enough, that you'd left''

''I just wandered about'' she replied finally, pulling away to look at him ''I didn't realise how late it was, what time did I go out?''

''About half five'' he smoothed the hair from her face gently ''It's now about half past ten, I was terrified''

''I'm sorry'' she said ''I just needed to work some things out''

''Let's go home'' Charlie said, taking her hand.

Back in their house he led her straight upstairs, pushing her gently in the direction of the bathroom.

''Go and have a shower, do you want something to eat? Drink?'' he asked

''No thanks she smiled ''I'm just shattered''

Closing the bathroom door she leaned against it, letting out a long breath, she should have felt relieved, happy even but she just felt numb, and empty. The last few months and the events that had occurred had taken their toll and Juliet was emotionally drained. Somewhere deep inside she realised that if she felt like this then Charlie must feel a hundred times worse, but right now she didn't have the emotional capacity to take that on board too. Tears rolled silently down as she reflected on what she'd said to Charlie not half an hour before, the words echoed in her head over and over as she started to undress for her shower

'We can do it together?' it wasn't that she didn't want to, she wasn't sure she could any more.

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Charlie closed the dining room door of their little house quietly and looked around him. The table was laid, simply but nicely and the bowls that contained what he had painstakingly cooked from scratch – admittedly with his mothers guidance- still stood on the table top. He sighed and turned off the light, he was too tired and overwrought to clear it up now, he would do it in the morning before Juliet got up, right now he needed to sleep.

Heading back upstairs he went into 'his' room, noticing the light on under the door in 'Juliets' room. It seemed strange to see the door shut, they usually slept in what was officially his room, with all their clothes and things in hers. He didn't think that she'd ever actually slept alone in 'her' room. He paused outside unsure whether to go in, or to knock or just not to bother when the light snapped off and he heard the bed springs creak and groan as she climbed into bed, without him.

The noise served to remind him just why they had slept in his room since they moved in, her bed had made too much noise. He remembered how they had laughed as they rolled around on her bed, giggling like kids at the noise the bed made, wondering if it was loud enough to wake the neighbours. Neither had been able to take the whole thing seriously, and they had ended up on the floor, pulling the duvet down when their bodies had cooled and slept where they were.

Charlie felt bereft that the relationship had gone from fun and light hearted love, the first few months as they should be, not being able to keep their hands off each other. To this, he wasn't even sure how he felt any more. He sprawled across his bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

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Juliet awoke some hours later while it was dark, the cramps in her stomach persistent in telling her that at some point you have to eat. She slowly stretched and eased out of bed, making her way quietly downstairs.

She padded through the dining room towards the kitchen, knowing the way blindfolded, or at least she thought she did until she caught her foot on a hard object.

''Shit!'' she hissed, clutching her foot. She took a couple of experimental steps towards the door and clicked the light on. It took her eyes a few moments to adjust to the light and she cursed not having her wand with her for the soft light that a simple 'lumos' would have provided.

She took in what she had hit her foot on, a dining chair, which wasn't normally there, it was usually against the wall, decorated with various clothes and folders, as was the table. However in place of the usual me-le of junk on the table were two place settings and various pots and bowls from the kitchen. Curious Juliet lifted the lids of the bowls to find roasted potatoes, chicken and vegetables. She grimaced as she came across the gravy boat, with a layer of fat atop the cooled liquid. Her stomach rumbled loudly, reminding her why she had come down in the first place. She helped herself to a couple of roast potatoes, not bad seeing as they were cold, and pulled apart some chicken, silently contemplating.

After eating enough to quiet her stomach Juliet made her way back upstairs, padding softly past the half open door of her room she crept into Charlie's. Crawling into bed deftly she leaned over and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

''Thank you'' she whispered, smiling as he automatically threw his arm around her waist, effectively pinning her to the bed. She smiled again as she snuggled down with her back to him while he tightened his grip, puling her closer.

''Love you'' he sighed sleepily, kissing the back of her neck before lapsing back into sleep.

''I love you too'' she whispered, her mind clearer than it had been for days, she knew that she meant it and would do anything to hang onto it.

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