"I'm tired!" Kili said for the thousandth time.

Thorin sighed for the thousandth time. "One more word out of you and we'll leave you here."

"He is right though, we've been walking for hours and we're not getting anywhere..." Bofur muttered.

"Perhaps if we would know where we should get to." Dwalin growled.

"WATCH OUT!" Bilbo suddenly screamed.

Dwalin and Bofur stopped just in time before getting hit by a motorcycle. They had not seen the road behind the bushes.

"We could use one of those!" Kili said with a wide smile of excitement as he watched the motorcycle until it drove around a corner.

"What, those metal beasts?" Bombur asked shocked. "One of them tried to kill me, remember?"

"It would certainly be a lot faster." Balin said.

Thorin thought about it for a second before turning to the hobbit. "What says you master Baggins, would it be safe for us to tame such metal horse?"

"I don't think it would be safe but I agree with Balin, it's much faster...but to get fourteen of them might be tricky."

"What about those cars?" Nori asked. "More of us can get into one of those."

The other dwarves quickly agreed.

"But how do we get a car?" Fili asked. "You haven't read about that by any chance Bilbo?"

Bilbo sighed.

A couple of hours later

"So mister Oakenshield, you and your friends wish to get your driver's license?"

"Yes my lady we would." Thorin said to the woman by the helpdesk.

"Alright than, please fill in these papers and then we'll get started."

She handed the dwarf (now in proper disguise) the forms and the fourteen of them retrieved to the bench in the corner.

"So to have everyone in a car we need four cars." Bilbo said. "That means four drivers."

"I WANT! Kili screamed and everyone in the room looked at them.

He collected a slap on his head. "You're too young." His uncle growled. "I'll go, as will the hobbit." "Any volunteers, except for my nephews and Ori who is also too young."

"Wait a second, this book says you have to be eighteen to get your driver's license!" Fili said waving around a catalogue he had found. "We're well over that!"

Thorin slapped his hand against his forehead. "Very well, if that are the rules in this mad land..."

After filling in the forms which took very very long ("I don't think they'll accept flying on a giant eagle as drivers experience.") they handed them to the desk lady and waited.

"Now mister Kili, you'll be first." "You and your friends will take car number five."

After she led them towards the parking space with all the driving lesson cars and explaining the route they could take to practise she left.

"Alright than, first let's have a look at everything." Bilbo said when they all had taken place, Bilbo in the front next to Kili.

"That wheel is for steering into the right direction." "Now as I remember you have to kick in the pedal on your right to get forward and go faster." "The left one if for..."

"That's all I need to know!" Kili said and then kicked the gas as far in as it could and they bursted off the parking space, onto the road.

"KILI NOOOO THE BRAKES, USE THE BRAKES!"

"What is a brake?"

BOOM

"I no longer care for the laws in this land, my nephew is never allowed to get near such vehicle's wheel...ever."

"So...I didn't pass uncle?"

Fifteen minutes later

"So you won't just head off like your brother?" Bilbo asked for the fifth time.

"No master Baggins I will be careful and listen to your wisdom about cars." Fili answered.

"Very well, let's get started than."

Fili carefully drove out of the parking space.

"Good done Fili!" Bilbo said feeling a weight of nerves and fear falling off his shoulders. "Okay now take the next turn to the left."

He watched how the turn to the left came closer, but the car did not slow down.

"Fili, we are taking the next turn left." He said a bit louder, convinced that the dwarf had not heard him at first.

"Yes I know master Baggins, I must turn the wheel slowly to the left when we are near it."

"Yes but you must also..."

Boom

"...slow down, otherwise you might lose control of the wheel and crash..."

"Haha you crashed too!"

Slap

"Aaawh uncle!"

Another fifteen minutes later

Bilbo rubbed his forehead with his hands. He had a terrible headache and was sure to be close to a heart attack. But the worst was behind him, Bilbo was sure Thorin would do better. The grumpy dwarf took place behind the wheel and looked at the hobbit.

"I believe I know what to do after seeing my nephews fail so miserably."

"Fine go ahead than." Bilbo said agitated. The little hope he had was washed away, Thorin did not want to have any explanation what so ever.

The engine started and they drove away. After five minutes Bilbo dared to watch and he was surprised. Thorin did excellent. The speed was good, the turns were slow and steady.

"Wauw, Thorin you are doing great!" Bilbo said.

They were heading towards an intersection.

"Okay, now we have to let traffic from the right side go first, whoever comes from the left has to let us go first."

"Let others go first?" "I, Thorin Oakenshield, from Durin's blood and soon to be King Under the Mountain will not let other go first!" "They will stop for me!" Thorin growled and he turned up the speed.

"No Thorin stop, those are not the rules!"

"I already gave my thoughts about the laws in this ridiculous land hobbit!"

Bilbo closed his eyes and prayed.

Boom!

Half an hour later

The other dwarves stood up from the bench and walked to the four who had just stepped in the room again.

"And how did it go?" Balin asked.

"Well, me Fili and uncle did not pass." Kili said with a grin.

"And Bilbo?" Dori asked.

"He did not want to try." Fili said.

"Why not and how come even our prince did not pass?" Balin asked.

"Shut up, we'll go further by foot!" Both Bilbo and Thorin growled.