The musical ensemble must be either kehek or kauvek in comprisal. It is also acceptable to arrange a shehek. Several combinations are acceptable, the most frequent being a ka'athyra as the abralash, accompanied by two kolchak in counterpoint and a second ka'athyra in the role of neralash. Should there be a fifth member, it should always be either a kep or kusek, never a vocalist. Should there be a fifth member, it should always be either a kep or kusek, never a vocalist. Should there -

"Oh damn." Amanda said aloud. She'd read the last sentence twice and had nearly started on a third time. She sighed and rubbed at her temples. She was used to wading through difficult texts, but those had at least been interesting. This noisome tome on how to plan a Vulcan wedding was about as entertaining as watching grass grow. Less, even.

T'Rea looked up from her own project - a beautifully intricate charm that Amanda could never create herself in a million years. "Swearing is rude," She said mildly, giving Amanda her typical ice-queen look. "And unnecessary in this situation. What is causing you to be so inappropriate?"

Amanda wanted to roll her eyes, but instead she leaned her cheek on her hand and shrugged. "I'm having a hard time getting through these texts."

"The translation should be far below your comprehension level."

"It's not that - I can read it just fine. I'm having trouble concentrating, is all." Amanda looked down wearily at her PADD and shut off the screen with a decisive movement. "All of this is starting to wear on me."

T'Rea set down her weaving and watched Amanda. "Are you anxious?"

Amanda bit her lip. The truth was yes, she was incredibly nervous. She and Sarek had returned from Earth two days ago. It was now February 12th. The night before, they had gone to see Skon, and set the date for the wedding, March 4th. Twenty days until the ceremony. Two weeks and six days. Twenty. Days.

It wasn't that Amanda had cold feet, or was less than excited about marrying Sarek and spending the rest of her life with the man she loved. What was terrifying her was the ceremony itself. Weddings were such formal occasions that it took a capable Vulcan couple a lot of preparation to get there. There were rites that needed to be performed, occasions to be marked, problems to be solved. And that was for a normal Vulcan couple. Amanda was coming in on a severe handicap of being a Human.

Amanda had never gone through the rites of adulthood. She'd never been confirmed in her household by her matriarch. She'd never learned the rituals or words or dances or speeches or charms. She'd never felt so much like an outsider. Before, all she'd wanted was to be accepted on a casual level, as a guest. Now, she had to be recognized, on some level, as a Vulcan.

Rousing herself from her thoughts, Amanda swallowed and shook her head. "I'm trying to make myself into something I'm not, T'Rea."

There was a hint of concern around T'Rea's eyes. "The Ambassador wants to marry you for who you are, ko'kan. You needn't change."

"It's not Sarek. It's everyone else." Amanda reached up to run a hand through her hair - a nervous habit that she'd never been able to suppress. She had forgotten, though, that her hair was tied back. The result was accidentally pulling her hair half out of the careful twist T'Iva had done for her. Amanda wanted to groan in frustration, but gritted her teeth and held it back.

"You had best take it out entirely." T'Rea said, calmly. "Will you allow me to fix it?"

Amanda looked at T'Rea with surprise. Aside from ladies maids, no one touched anyone else's hair. It was a gesture of affection that Amanda had not expected from T'Rea. She nodded, trying to convey her pleasure without smiling. "Thank you, yes." She tugged the rest of the mess apart and let it fall to her shoulders. T'Rea stood and came to stand behind Amanda. She gathered up Amanda's hair and began pulling it back into a simple braid. Her movements were very quick and graceful, and Amanda could occasionally feel little brushes of T'Rea's fingers, like butterflies bumping into her.

"Everything will fall into place, ko'kan. You are capable. There is no demand on you that you cannot fulfill."

Amanda felt a distinct burning sensation behind her eyes, the first indication of tears. She forced them back, and wished that she felt more comforted by T'Rea's words.

There was one element of Vulcan weddings that Human ceremonies shared - rehearsals. Granted, Human weddings only required one rehearsal dinner, and that was more of a party than a strict rehearsal anyway. Amanda didn't expect her rehearsals to be anything like parties. There were many, and they were arduous.

At Skon's insistence, the wedding was to be held at his estate. It was to take place in one of the huge halls that Amanda had first seen the night she'd met Sarek. Rather fitting, all told, but Amanda couldn't help but feel intimidated by the grand spaces. Skon did nothing to comfort her, either. As soon as she and Sarek arrived for the first of the many planning sessions, Skon immediately pushed them into action with the strictness of an overseer.

Amanda had known vaguely what to expect from her experience at T'Rea's wedding. That was not exactly good enough for Skon, who grilled her on procedure at almost every step. Amanda started feeling as though Skon was her very, very pushy Maid of Honor. It was certain that he wanted to exploit the event to flatter his own ego. After one long lecture from Skon on how she was supposed to walk when she entered the room versus when she exited, Amanda glanced across the room at Sarek, who was standing dutifully in his place. Even though he looked perfectly calm and composed, Amanda could feel his patience wearing thin, especially whenever Skon stopped Amanda to give her another talking to.

Who exactly is getting married here, him or us?

This is how my father acts when he is anxious, Amanda. His obsession with precision goes beyond normal Vulcan standard. There was a hint of irritation in Sarek's mood.

At least he's happy, right?

From across the room, Amanda thought she saw Sarek raise his eyes heavenward. She nearly laughed out loud. Hey, you picked that up from me! She teased, feeling her heart rise again. At this, Sarek sent her a little bloom of amusement and warmth that left Amanda feeling a good deal more relaxed. She was even relaxed enough to tolerate Skon as he reminded her for the fourth time that day how exactly she was supposed to address T'Pau.

"When am I going to meet your grandmother, Sarek?" Amanda asked, when Skon finally granted them a break. One of the Councilman's servants had thoughtfully brought them some food so they could refresh properly before going back into the battle.

"T'Pau is not my grandmother. She is the matriarch associated with my family, but we are not related." Sarek replied.

"I thought that 'matriarch' sort of implied relation." Amanda said, taking a bite of salad.

Sarek considered this. "My family line is very old. There have been many complicated...interactions throughout its history. It suffices to say that T'Pau is linked to my family without being actually a member of the bloodline. It is not strictly necessary for the position of matriarch, after all." This left Amanda with more questions, but Sarek continued speaking before she could ask any of them. "To answer your first question, however, I believe that T'Pau will be with us shortly. My father told me that she was travelling to Shi'Kahr from the country in order to supervise the wedding preparations."

Amanda had to fight to keep a surprised expression off her face. They were still in the company of other Vulcans, after all. "Isn't Skon doing enough supervising as it is? Nevermind, don't answer that. She's going to be here today, then?"

Sarek nodded. Amanda's stomach gave an uncomfortable little wiggle. She had put off reading the section of her 'manual' that discussed how to interact with the matriarch, thinking that she would have more time before T'Pau arrived. Amanda silently cursed herself for being negligent. She would probably suffer for it.

Sensing Amanda's discomfort, Sarek offered her an ozh'esta, the finger kiss that was acceptable in public. Amanda accepted it, pleased at the gentle buzz and shiver from the contact. Don't worry. You cannot help but impress her.

Amanda looked up at him and gave him the briefest of smiles, small enough that only Sarek could see it. "Thanks," She said. "I'll do my best."

Amanda wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but T'Pau went beyond expectations.

The rehearsal had finally concluded, with Amanda getting only the slightest stress headache and Sarek looking somewhat glassy-eyed. These things could be taxing even for a Vulcan. Skon had given them a brief period to relax before summoning them to dinner. Amanda would have liked a longer stretch of time, given what she and Sarek had been engaged in to blow off steam, but Skon would not be denied. The meal was, of course, rather grand, situated in one of the smaller dining rooms (Amanda wondered how many dining rooms there really were at Skon's estate, making a mental note to ask Sarek about it later).

They were in the middle of the second course and a somewhat stilted conversation when a meek attendant entered the room and hurried to Skon's side. The whispered message was brief, but it left Skon looking somewhat stonier than he had before. "Very well, if you would conduct the lady to her rooms I will -"

He did not have time to finish his thought. The doors at the end of the room opened and T'Pau strode in. Amanda's first thought was that it was like looking at a perfectly cut obsidian stone - a shining, elegant shape, but hard as hell. T'Pau was tall and lean, like an ancient Grecian column. Her face was lined, but not soft, and her eyes held the most intense expression that Amanda had ever seen. In her heavy, layered robes, she reminded Amanda further of one of the priestesses depicted in paintings in the old Vulcan temples.

As soon as T'Pau stepped into the room, Skon and Sarek were on their feet. Amanda hurriedly followed suit. She suddenly felt as if her hair was a mess and her dress was unflattering and crooked. She self-consciously adjusted it as the woman approached.

"Skon. Sarek. T'nar pak sorat y'rani, greetings."

Skon gave her a deep and very formal bow. "T'Pau, t'nar jaral, greetings to you."

T'Pau seemed to barely have heard him. She halted at the end of the table and looked Sarek over with a critical eye. "So. You appear to be in good health, i'khaz'el, boy. Well enough to be married."

"Yes, ko'mekh-il, grandmother."

I thought she wasn't your grandmother?

It's a 'term of endearment'.

Without even looking at Amanda, T'Pau took the seat beside Skon, arranging her robes with the utmost dignity. "I shall not eat with you, but you may bring me a pot of theris-masu, herbal tea. I believe you still have the leaves that I brought with me when last I visited." Skon gave the attendant a look, and the man scurried away to see to T'Pau's request.

"It has been many years, T'Pau. You are welcome here." Skon said. His natural easy mode of conversation did not seem to charm T'Pau very much, however. She simply watched his face without much interest before turning back to Sarek.

"You have been recently granted the position of Ambassador to Earth, I believe. A considerable accomplishment worthy of a descendent of this house." Her mode of speech was a bit difficult for Amanda to understand. It wasn't that she had an accent, per se, but she seemed to be using a more formal dialect than Amanda had grown used to. It was disorienting enough to make Amanda's tension rise.

Sarek acknowledged the compliment with a nod. "Yes, ko'mekh-il. Thank you."

"And you are so young. Not yet seventy years, correct?" T'Pau turned her head slightly to look at Skon out of the corner of her eye. "I believe you were not elected to the Council until you were nearly ninety, Skon."

Amanda had honed her expertise in reading Vulcan emotions well enough to catch the slight twitch of exasperation that passed over Skon's face. "That is correct, T'Pau." He said evenly. "Sarek has shown great ability." His son inclined his head slightly at the compliment, but Amanda could tell that he was not at his ease. Admittedly, neither was she.

"Indeed he has." T'Pau said with a look that might have been affectionate at her 'grandson'. As the attendant returned carrying a tea tray with T'Pau's refreshment, the dignified lady finally turned to Amanda and gave her a long, careful look. Amanda felt like a deer in headlights, frozen in her seat. T'Pau's jet black eyes were as emotionless as any Vulcan's that Amanda had ever seen - somehow, though, T'Pau seemed to have an extra element of stoniness that went above and beyond.

"Sarek," T'Pau said, turning her head only slightly towards him and not removing her gaze from Amanda, "I presume that this is your ko'kugalsu, fianceé."

"Yes, T'Pau. This is Amanda Grayson."

Amanda swallowed and finally found her voice. "It is an honor to meet -"

"I cannot help but notice that she is Human." T'Pau steamrolled over Amanda as easily as if she hadn't spoken at all.

Skon cleared his throat. "I did apprise you of this information, T'Pau, if you recall."

T'Pau turned her head towards the councilman like a cat focusing on a small squeaky target. "I do recall. I am, however, expressing my surprise to find that your claim was accurate." She picked up her tea cup and shifted her focus to Sarek once more. "Explain this to me."

Sarek opened his mouth to explain, but Amanda was tired of being ignored. "Sarek and I are t'hy'la, pid-kom T'Pau, Matriarch T'Pau."

T'Pau took a sip of her tea before acknowledging that she had heard Amanda's voice. "I had assumed as much." Her expression changed not one molecule, but Amanda felt a little less intimidated. Just a little. "So it is when a Vulcan seeks an individual from another race to become their spouse. Whether or not your bond is genuine is another matter."

"Do you a require a meld with them to suit this purpose?" Skon said before Sarek or Amanda could voice any objections. Amanda was surprised at him - from what she had seen through Sarek's conversation with him, Amanda had assumed that Skon wanted T'Pau to be involved in the situation as little as possible. She found herself wondering if Skon was testing them yet again. Can he really still not believe in this?

Wait. Sarek's eyes were on T'Pau. The lady seemed to be in deep thought. Slowly, her eyelids closed, and she sat in perfect stillness, like the statue of an ancient queen. Amanda felt a little prickle behind her eyes, and had to fight to keep herself from sneezing. After a few moments, T'Pau opened her eyes, and picked up her tea cup as if nothing had happened. "No, I am satisfied." She said, bluntly, to Skon. "Your son has indeed found his t'hy'la." Her eyes fell on Amanda for a brief moment. "And she is Human."

"It's urgent, I guess." Amanda said as Sarek closed the connection on his PADD. It was an hour later, and she and Sarek had escaped to the gardens to get away from Skon and T'Pau's rigid company. Twilight had just ended, and Sarek's face was half hidden in gloom as he turned back to look at Amanda.

"Unfortunately, yes, although it is not anything dangerous." Sarek's tone held a hint of aggravation. "A parcel of ordinances has arrived from Starfleet, and they need immediate attention. Apparently there is to be a summit in the Phaedrus system concerning an armistice between..." He trailed off. "In any case, Starfleet was only just made aware of the issue, and it is of some importance." Sarek gave a small sigh. "All they need of me is my signature, but obviously I must read whatever I am to sign."

Amanda sighed, but escorted him to one of the nearby gates that led off the estate. When they reached it, Sarek turned to her, fingers lightly brushing her arm. "I will not be long. Do you mind remaining here until my return?"

Amanda shook her head. "No, go do your job, Ambassador man." She said with a little smile. "Although if you pull this on your wedding day, I'm not marrying you. Well...maybe. It's about 30-70."

"In my favor?"

"Of course." Amanda stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Go on then. I'll be here."

When he had taken his leave, Amanda looked back at the garden, which was rapidly being swallowed in darkness. Time to head back to the house, then, although Amanda would have happily taken her chances with any prowling night beasts in the garden rather than Skon and T'Pau inside. She took her time wandering back, pausing to gather in some of the spicy aromas off the flower beds as she went. She had almost reached the house, and was crossing beneath one of the lighted balconies that led off the first floor when she heard voices.

"...not what I would have wished for him, certainly, but I cannot refuse him now."

Skon's voice. Amanda froze.

"Nor should you. It is simply unfortunate that the most promising scion of the S'chn T'gai House must go to waste."

To waste? Amanda felt herself go cold, a creeping trickle of icy anger sliding down her spine.

There was a pause, and a sigh. "I understand, of course. After his mother died Sarek became far less tractable. I had thought his behavior with Theleia would be the worst of his rebellious attitude."

"If you believe his relationship with Amanda Grayson to be an act of rebellion, you are mistaken. One cannot choose one's t'hy'la. There is nowhere to place blame in this situation." T'Pau paused, and Amanda thought she heard the swish of her skirt. "It was simply not Sarek's fate to be the paradigm of this family. It is a shame." T'Pau approached the railing of the balcony and looked out over the garden. Amanda could see the outline of her face silhouetted against the light emanating from the house. "I expected great things of your son, Skon. Clearly my hopes were misplaced."

Amanda, still hidden below, felt herself begin to tremble with suppressed anger. She forced herself to breathe slowly. The walls of her mental barrier were quaking with the effort of holding her emotion back. If she let those walls fail, T'Pau, Skon, and probably every Vulcan within a mile radius would be able to sense her. She withdrew deeper into the shadows and tried to hold back her anger.

Skon was speaking again. "I might remind you, pid-kom, that Sarek still holds the office of Ambassador to Earth. That is no small accomplishment."

"Of course. Sarek is a brilliant individual and is an asset to our governance. However, his true value to the family lies not only in his accomplishments but his ability to provide heirs."

Skon was silent for a moment. "Indeed. I myself am acutely aware of this problem. It is certainly not preferable to me that my line should end here. Thus I have looked into it - there is research ongoing at the Academy to compare the genomes of both the Vulcan and Human spe-"

"Irrelevant." T'Pau cut in. Her voice was icy. "Even if such a hybrid were possible, would you truly wish our House to be associated with it? There will be no end of objections. The child would be a blemish on our honor. We must look to a different choice. I believe that your brother's boy Selek..."

Amanda realized that angry tears were forming in her eyes. She reached up and touched her cheek, and her fingers came away wet. How could they talk like this? They spoke like they believed Sarek had thrown his life away the minute he met Amanda. Would she really be such a...stain on his life? His career? His happiness? Amanda shuddered, despite the lingering warmth in the air. Skon was starting to speak again, but Amanda didn't want to hear anymore. She turned and fled into the garden, letting the dark shield her from their words.

Night vision, Amanda thought. That's another way that I'm inferior to a Vulcan. I can't see a damn thing. Her tears weren't helping much either. Amanda decided that she didn't give a damn about crying here. There were no Vulcan eyes to see her and be offended by her hideous emotion. She didn't sob or whimper, just let her tears fall unhindered as she stumbled down the path.

After the third random turning Amanda was certain she was lost. "Goddamn you Skon and your ridiculously huge garden," She muttered under her breath, trying to untangle her dress from a thorny plant that it had cheerfully tried to twist itself in. The sharp sound of a rip made her freeze - gauzy fabric fell through her fingers, fluttering back to the plant. "Oh, forget it. Stay there if you want to." She snapped, turning away. She stared blindly into the darkness, trying to recognize anything. The garden seemed to have opened up into a wider area, to judge by the depth of the blackness in front of her. It took Amanda a moment to realize that she'd reached the edge of the garden - the place where Sarek had taken her when he'd first given her Kaht.

With a bearing finally fixed in her mind, Amanda skirted the edge of the wide lawn, heading in the direction she hoped the mews would be. After a few minutes, she had nearly decided she was going the wrong way, when she heard a fluttering snatch of a bird call. Amanda sped up, and soon the shape of the bird enclosure loomed as a darker blackness on black.

"Kaht," Amanda called softly, gently touching the side of the structure. She knew that some of the birds inside were inclined to bite or peck. "Kaht, kru-u, kru-u..." She repeated the nonsense syllable that Sarek had taught her, a noise particularly attractive to the shavokhs.

There was a shuffling of feathers inside and a little squawk of protest as someone stepped on someone else's claw. Amanda circled around to the other side. There was just enough light left in the sky to illuminate the large box that Kaht and Tau called home. Tau was settled comfortably on one of the perches, his head tucked beneath his wing, but Amanda caught the flash of Kaht's bright silver eyes. She shuffled on her feathery legs and made a rumbling chirping noise in her throat. She seemed happy to see Amanda.

"Hello," Amanda said quietly, smiling. "You seem happy and healthy...look how much you've grown." Kaht preened the scarlet feathers on her chest, fluffing them out in a way that looked to Amanda like pride. She chuckled and Kaht fluffed up her wings as well. She fluttered off her perch and went to a higher one. She was nearly out of Amanda's sight now, but Amanda could see her settling comfortably next to a lumpy shape in the corner of the box.

By standing on tip-toe, Amanda got a better look at the shape. It was a nest. As Amanda watched, Kaht repeated her low chirping noise and nudged at the nest with her beak. With delight, Amanda realized she was turning an egg, settling it more comfortably in the nest.

"Oh, how lovely," She said, smiling at the scarlet bird. "I didn't realize you two were in love. I mean...you know. Mated. Do birds fall in love?"

When, obviously, no answer was forthcoming, Amanda leaned against the enclosure and watched Kaht fuss over her egg. She felt the beginnings of more tears prickle her eyes - and of course, once they'd escaped once, it was much harder to hold them back. "At least no one will think badly of you for it." She said. "You two are allowed to be in love. You're the same. None of the other birds will talk behind your back or turn their beaks up at Tau because he married you." She gave a rather tear-damp chuckle at her own ridiculousness. "I sound like a child."

Despite everything, seeing Kaht and Tau's egg had banished some of Amanda's hurt. It took a few long minutes preparation, watching Kaht as she nestled in next to Tau to sleep, before she was ready to return to the house, but Amanda felt a lot calmer when she did. There wasn't much she could do about her face before she went back to the house, however, as the garden was distinctly devoid of mirrors. Her dress, too, still had a rent in it, but Amanda had no idea how bad it was in this darkness. Screw it. I am what I am. There's nothing to do about any of it now.

Light was still gleaming from the grand lower windows of Skon's mansion when Amanda returned. She had hoped Sarek would have come back before her, but his presence still felt distant to her. She wondered if he'd felt any of her distress, and if it was worrying him. Most likely, he had - but he probably too locked down in work to reach out to her. At least, Amanda hoped that was the case. Sighing, Amanda gathered the edges of her skirt and climbed the stairs to the low patio where Skon and T'Pau had been talking. Thankfully they were no longer there, and Amanda could take advantage of the light to check on the state of her dress. The tear was small, and easily hidden behind a fold of the fabric. No one need be any the wiser.

After a quick check to make sure her eyes were no longer puffy, Amanda went inside. The windows were all open to the night air - it had grown cooler, and slight breezes disturbed the gauzy curtains, making them float like wings. Amanda crept into the parlor and looked around. The room was empty and there were no hints of life anywhere. Relieved, Amanda turned to a sideboard to pour herself a glass of water. She nearly dropped the pitcher when T'Pau spoke up behind her.

"Where is my grandson?" She asked, her voice strangely light. She was standing in the doorway that led to the rest of the house, her hands folded in front of her.

Amanda unclenched her hand from the pitcher's handle and set it back down carefully before turning to T'Pau. "He was called to the Principle Building. A last minute problem that needs his attention. It's not anything serious."

"I see." T'Pau said, and that was it.

"...Where is the councilman?" Amanda asked, proud of herself for keeping her unease out of her voice.

"He has retired. The wedding preparations are taxing for him."

"Yes, he is working very hard." Amanda said, glancing around the room. She felt very at odds, with T'Pau standing at one end of the room and her at the far opposite. It was like they were squaring up to a battle, two queens on a chessboard.

"You were listening to my conversation with him on the balcony."

Amanda clenched her jaw to keep her mouth from opening in surprise. Of course T'Pau would have felt her - such an experienced telepathic dinosaur like her. Amanda felt her cheeks grow warm. She had been an idiot to think that her pathetic efforts would keep T'Pau from feeling that much anger from her. Well, there was no need to deny it. "I was."

T'Pau seemed to unfreeze, turning from a statue back into living flesh. She walked to a chair and sat down, back ramrod straight. "Sit down." She said. Amanda, feeling that she had little choice in the matter, obeyed.

"Now that Sarek is no longer an option, I must choose another to exercise my favor upon." T'Pau said, and even though her tone was as Vulcan-blank as ever Amanda got the feeling that she was being flippantly casual. "His young cousin Selek will do well enough. I believe you had the privilege of being his instructor at school."

Amanda had to swallow a lot of other words before she could make room for the polite ones. "No, I haven't. I am teaching at his school, but Selek is not in any of my classes."
"Ah, I was misinformed." T'Pau said. "You understand, of course, why I had to make this decision."

There was no way to open her mouth this time without the wrong words coming out, so Amanda just kept her jaw clenched shut. She kept her eyes on T'Pau's obsidian black ones, trying to be as unflinching as the old woman. When Amanda made no reply, T'Pau continued.

"The S'chn T'gai family cannot endorse such unorthodoxy. The name is far too old and respected to be seen to be associated with Sarek's strange fancy. It is unfortunate, but there is no other option. Had your bond been formed with a member of one of the lower households...but, there is no changing that."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Amanda said, her unable to keep her tone perfectly level. "Sarek is being disinherited?"

"Certainly not, this has nothing to do with wealth. Right of succession is simply being passed to another. Selek is far more able to uphold the family's name now. Do you understand now? Sarek is a prince. With this marriage, he is sacrificing much...connections, titles, the respect of Shi'Kahr." T'Pau's gaze was rapier sharp. Amanda could practically feel it digging through her. She blames me for ruining her grandson.

T'Pau's eyes narrowed a tiny fraction. Amanda felt a jolt of panic - had she heard that somehow? How extensive were T'Pau's telepathic abilities? The old woman spoke again.

"I am not being cruel, Miss Grayson. Simply practical."

Amanda stood up. She'd had enough. "The two aren't mutually exclusive." With that, she turned and left, pushing through the floating curtains to the cold night outside.

Almost as soon as Amanda had left the parlor, her composure began to crumble. Her breath started coming in short, sharp gasps. It felt as though her lungs were shrinking the further she went from the house. She didn't stop walking, only charging blindly ahead. Her eyes were blurred with more angry tears - once summoned, they were not easily banished. She reached the stairs and began hurrying down them, her sandals barely scuffing the stone as she fled from the golden house.

With a zap of adrenaline Amanda felt her foot catch on a stair. She fell forward, flinging her arms out in front of her. Wrists and knees hit hard stone as the last few steps caught her fall. Stinging pain flared on her palms. Amanda took as deep a breath as she could manage and gingerly picked herself up, sitting back on her heels to examine the damage. Her tears overwhelmed her weakened defenses and started crawling down her cheeks.

"I'm a mess," Amanda choked out to the empty night around her. She covered her eyes with her hands, pressing her scraped palms against her eyes. The sting deepened, becoming a throbbing pain.

Suddenly, Amanda felt a calm descend on her, one of warmth and familiarity. Immediately her tension eased, and she felt herself relax. There was a light touch on her hands, pulling them gently away from her face. Sarek. He was in front of her, on his knees as she was.

"Amanda," His voice was quiet, though even now Amanda could sense a wire of anxiety running through him. "What has happened? Why are you weeping?"

Amanda looked up into his face. The contours of his face were just visible in the ambient light - the slight illumination showed fear in his eyes. The sight made a fist constrict around Amanda's heart. He was perfect, worthy, honorable. How could his family punish him like this?

Words sprang out of her mouth, unbidden. "I can't let you ruin your life for me," She pushed his hands away from her face. "Your family...they'll - they'll take..."

Sarek's confusion flared. "I do not understand. You will not ruin -"

Amanda shook her head wildly, her own distress bolstered and fed by his. "No!"

His hands were on her cheeks, steadying her. His touch was like a cooling breeze on her skin. He held her like that for a moment, looking into her eyes, slowing down her frantic breathing with the slow rhythm of his. "Na'muh hayal, Amanda. Nam-tor etek t'hy'la. Dungi nam-tor du adun'a t'nash-veh, eh dungi nam-tor nash-veh t'du adun. Calm down, Amanda. We are t'hy'la. You will be my wife, and I will be your husband."

Amanda put her hands over his. She felt her panic begin to still, like a frantic animal being soothed to sleep. She took a deep, slow breath, and -

"Sarek."

Sarek's head jerked up, and Amanda whirled to look over her shoulder. T'Pau was standing at the top of the stairs behind them, holding a dimly glowing orange lantern in one hand. The light cast her face into sharp relief, making her look even more like a foreboding, ancient priestess. Sarek slowly got to his feet, though he still held Amanda's hand. T'Pau's eyes flickered to their hands, and Amanda thought she saw a spasm of disgust cross her face.

"What happened, ko'mehk-il?"

"Your ko-kugalsu overheard a conversation between your father and I. It appears to have distressed her somewhat." T'Pau's voice was distant and cold.

Sarek nodded slightly, only an inclination of his head. "I see. A discussion concerning bestowing the right of succession upon another, I assume. I would suggest Selek for consideration. He has proved to be both intelligent and capable."

Amanda practically felt the shock hit T'Pau. She didn't exactly stagger, but Amanda saw her take the slightest step back. It was a tiny movement, but it was a sign of weakness nonetheless - the first that T'Pau had yet displayed. "You expected this?"

Sarek regarded T'Pau evenly, but Amanda could see tiredness in his face. Disappointment, perhaps. "Of course."

"And it has no significance to you."

"I am willing to sacrifice it for something I believe will make my life far more meaningful."

T'Pau was silent for a moment, and Amanda thought that perhaps her expression softened in the golden-orange glow. "I had prized you as the heir for a reason, i'khaz'el. I respect your sincerity." Sarek made no reply other than nodding to her once more. After holding her gaze for a moment, he bent down to Amanda.

"Shall we go?" He asked, his voice far gentler now.

Amanda nodded and hurried to get to her feet. Her palms still throbbed slightly, but for some reason she didn't mind the pain as much anymore. Sarek rested his hand lightly on her back. "I have a hovercar waiting." He glanced back at the matriarch, and Amanda did likewise. The old woman was standing as regally as ever, the lantern still upraised. Her eyes flickered in the light.

As Sarek went ahead to open the car door, Amanda flashed her most brilliant, beaming smile at T'Pau. And then they went away.

It was well past midnight, and Amanda had to fight to keep her eyes open as they sped through the city. Curled up in the passenger's seat, she could watch the city flashing past, a swirled picture of bright lights and dark black shapes. She preferred, however, to watch Sarek.

He glanced at her, and Amanda smiled, genuinely. "Thank you." She said, quietly.

"It is I who should be thanking you. I have been saved from the fate of slowly becoming my father."

Amanda couldn't help but laugh, as exhausted as she was. She felt an answering flash of amusement from Sarek. The brilliance of the feeling was enhanced by its contrast with the misery she'd felt not long before. Sadness makes happiness taste all the better.

Sarek looked back at the city. There was a grayish hint along the horizon, where they could glimpse it between buildings, that suggested was not more than a few hours away. "Amanda, I need to make a call," He said, suddenly. "Would you object to waiting in the car for a few moments? I will not take long."

Puzzled, Amanda nodded at him. "Uh, sure. Did you forget something at the office?"

"No, it is simply...something I must attend to. I will pull up here." Sarek turned the car into a empty space at the side of the road. Before Amanda could say anything further, he had turned the console to idle and stepped out of the car. Amanda frowned slightly and watched him through the window as he hailed a contact on his PADD. She couldn't see the name, or the person's face when they answered, but the conversation was indeed brief. Soon enough Sarek was closing the connection and making his way back to the car.

"Are you going to tell me, or will I have to make guesses?" Amanda asked as he got back into his seat. He gave her a cryptic look that nevertheless had a hint of playfulness and said nothing.

"Do you know that my family has an estate in the country?" He asked instead. Amanda stared at him.

"Well...yes. I saw it in that dream that we shared..." She made a slight face, remembering the slip of a Vulcan girl that had been hovering around the younger Sarek. She knew now that that little sylph had been Theleia.

"It is called D'H'riset. We used to go there often when I was a child. My mother enjoyed it far more than my father did - I suspect this is the reason that we have not been there recently." Sarek looked at Amanda sidelong. "Would you like to see it?"

"What, now?" Amanda said, surprised. "Isn't it...it's two in the morning, Sarek."

"Are you weary?" Sarek asked, and Amanda could sense that he was a little deflated. Why was he so excited about going to see this house? Couldn't they do it some other time? What the hell, Amanda thought. I'm not tired. Let's go.

By Sarek's flash of warm contentment, Amanda knew that he'd understood her.

The battle between day and night had grown more heated, and the battle line of the horizon had brightened significantly by the time that Sarek and Amanda were nearing D'H'riset. The desert was painted in shades of dusky blue and dark purples, with hints of slightly warmer colors where the hints of growing light fell. Amanda had watched the dawn from her bedroom - or Sarek's bedroom - every morning, but now she felt as though she were in the beginnings of a supernova. The sunrise on Vulcan was like an explosion and a flower opening all at once.

"Are we getting close?" She asked Sarek, tearing her eyes away from the landscape.

"We are - ah." Sarek's face showed one of his not-smiles. "There it is." They had just come over the crest of a slight hill, and beyond it, tucked into a valley between rising peaks, was the estate. Skon's home in Shi'Kahr was beyond impressive, a masterpiece of architecture and vaulting, a structure in marble and masculinity. D'H'riset, however, was truly beautiful to Amanda. It was more than just an elegant house - it truly looked like a home. She smiled.

"It's beautiful," She said. "When was the last time you were here?"

"Not for twenty years at least." Sarek said. There was a hint of sadness in his tone, but it quickly faded as they approached the house. Amanda nearly bumped her head on the door as she got out, as eager as she was to keep the house in her vision. It was of a similar color to the rocks around it, and Amanda surmised that it was built from local material. It was not tall as much as it was long, fronted by a palisade of columns that reminded Amanda of an Ancient Grecian temple. Along with its beauty, however, the house felt empty, hollow. Well, not completely hollow. Amanda spotted a birds nest tucked away in a corner of the palisade, with a gleam of golden feathers inside.

"Come," Sarek said, holding out his hand to her. "I would like to show you the interior."

Amanda smiled, taking his hand. She felt a little dazed, as if she had stepped into that dream she'd had so many months ago. The warm buzz that she felt from Sarek's hand to hers didn't help matters much either. He did not let go as he unlocked the door. She could feel a strong current of excitement coming from him - a slightly nervous energy that nevertheless was very pleasant. She found herself laughing a little as Sarek urged her forward, tugging her gently through the door.

"What is it?" She asked. "You're making my head all fuzzy."
"I apologize," Sarek said, looking back at her. There was a bright spark in his dark eyes. "Come, this way. I want to show you something."

Laughing again, Amanda obeyed. Sarek shepherded her through grand rooms that were already half familiar. I'm not sure if that's because of the dream, or because I'm feeling Sarek's memories of it...They were heading for the back of the house, where Amanda vaguely remembered there being a balcony or patio of some sort.

She had been right.

Sarek led her through a pair of doors onto a long balcony, which was punctuated by columns like those at the front of the house. Amanda had no attention to spare for the balcony itself, however. The view was...breathtaking.

The length of the house had concealed what was behind it, when Amanda had seen it from the vantage point of the car. Beyond the house, the valley deepened further, opening into a wide bowl full of twisting peaks and rock formations. The growing light of dawn cast these into even more dramatic shapes and colors - a sight that took Amanda's breath away. It was like a miniature grand canyon, only painted in the colors of the Vulcan desert. Amanda wanted to fling her arms out and embrace the entire sight.

"Hello, Amanda." A familiar voice, gentle and slightly mocking, brought Amanda to her senses. She whirled around to see Ataur, his pale eyes smiling at her as he stood beside Sarek.

"Ataur!" Amanda nearly burst into a giant smile, but she caught herself just in time. "It's wonderful to see you."

"And you. But please, Amanda, smile if you wish to." He said, his voice serious. "There should be no constraints on you now."

Amanda hesitated, puzzled, looking at Sarek. "Why not? Why are you here, Ataur?"

"The Ambassador has requested that I perform the marriage ceremony for you. Those who are not of a significant enough household to have a matriarch appointed may use another officiate. I am myself certified to be such an officiate."

Amanda looked at Sarek. The sunrise had started in earnest now, and his face was illuminated by soft golden light. He extended his arm to her, and Amanda went to him, too stunned to do more than smile and accept his embrace. "We needn't if you don't wish to. I thought perhaps..."

"Yes. I want to." Amanda said.

As the dawn burst into full color in the valley behind them, Ataur spoke the words of the marriage ceremony. "Nam-tor u'khaf-spol Vuhlkansu - nam-tor u'katra Vuhlkansu - nam-tor u'sha'yut. This is the Vulcan heart - this is the Vulcan soul - this is our way." Amanda couldn't help steal glances at Sarek the entire time, even when Ataur initiated a meld with him. When her turn came, Amanda was a little shy at letting someone who wasn't Sarek meld with her, but Ataur's mind only gave hers the briefest of touches. When he withdrew, he took a step back, a gleam in his light eyes.

"You are bonded, together, until the end of all. Ponn farr."

Amanda turned to Sarek. Sarek, her friend, her lover, and now her husband. Dawn shone off him, outlining him in gold. He stepped forward and took her in his arms. Amanda was enfolded in his embrace, the one place where she felt truly safe. Sarek looked down at her, the light of warmth and love in his eyes, and pressed his mouth to hers. Peace flooded over her at the touch of his lips, and she returned the kiss in kind, letting herself flow into him as he did into her. Wholeness, completeness, and joy were all she could feel.

Absolutely complete. K'hat'n'dlawa, she told him.

"Half...of my heart and soul." Sarek said. He sat back in his chair, stiffly, trying to ignore the intensity of the eyes on him. There was still so much anger there, but...perhaps now, it would fade away.

"I had thought that saying was outdated. It fell out of usage after the Reformation...for excess of emotional connotation."

Sarek looked up again, meeting those angry eyes. "Indeed, it did. However, that is how I felt about her. The use of such an emotional phrase was entirely appropriate. That is how it is with t'hy'la - how it was with her. One is not complete without..." Sarek trailed off, but he forced himself to find his voice again. "Without them."

He received no reply. Sarek watched the face. There was so much of Amanda there that it was, even with all his defenses, difficult to look at him. "Spock."

Spock looked back at his father. Dark eyes, dark hair - it was a Vulcan's face. But Amanda's as well. "And so you were married."

"Yes."

There was a long silence between them. Sarek sought for something to say, for some way to reach out to his son. The boy was walled off to Sarek has he had never been to his mother, and now...He had to repair their bond, or Spock would not survive this. Neither of them would. To Sarek's surprise, however, it was Spock who spoke first.

"You told me once, when I was a child, that you married my mother because it was logical. This story suggests to me that you had other motives. Why have you chosen to contradict yourself?"

Sarek shook his head slightly. He could have cursed himself for saying those words, long ago, when he did not realize how fragile his happiness was. "At that time I had thought it would be less painful to you if I..." The look in Spock's eyes made him stop. "No. I was not...clear. In actuality, I married your mother because I loved her." Spock looked away, out towards the dying light of the sunset through the window. Sarek forced himself to continue, more quietly now. "I know that you did too, Spock."

There seemed to be an easing of tension in the boy. His barriers shifted, retracted somewhat. When he looked back at his father, the anger had faded from his eyes, to be replaced by something Sarek had seen in his mother's eyes. Yearning. "Father, will you -" He began, somewhat haltingly. "Will you tell me the story of my birth?"

Author's Note: Well, guys, it's been a hell of a ride. This is the first time I have finished any piece of writing - EVER - and it's definitely because of all the wonderful support I've had from you reader people. 150,000 words what did I even DO. But really, I couldn't have enjoyed this more.

Other thanks go out to LIS, my best friend and my beta reader, who has been 100% supportive to me, and not only for this story.

Boyfriend, who allowed me to read this out loud to him during long car journeys, and actually enjoyed it!

I was able to include Vulcan words and language thanks to two fantastic resources - The Vulcan Language Dictionary, compiled by Selek from the Vulcan Language Institute and Marketa Z.; and the amazing Vulcan Language Institute Reclamation Project at .

Now comes the worst part of all where I have to edit the whole damn thing. But I want to! I'm going to find and attack all the times I wrote "Common" instead of "Federation Standard" to fix them once and for all.

ps. i am going to write moar could you tell

pps. I'm not going to lie, seeing Into Darkness gave me the last kick of inspiration to finish this thing.