Nope, I still don't own Harry!
The rest of the day was relatively quiet. After the burial, the crowd dispersed, leaving their well wishes with the family. The Weasleys went back inside while Hermione and Harry followed at a distance.
"Harry, I was really moved by your speech," Hermione said.
"Thanks Hermione," he replied with a slight grin. "I know it's what I probably needed to hear when I was dealing with similar issues. I just don't want to Weasleys to have to go through what I did. They're just too good of people." Hermione knew what he meant and nodded. It just didn't seem fair that something so tragic could happen to a group of undeserving people. Before they got to continue their conversation however, Ginny came back for Harry and grabbed his arm before bringing him into the house. He nodded apologetically to Hermione letting her know that they would talk later. She missed Harry even though they had been with only each other and Ron's company for months on end. But it was a feeling that she had gotten used to; always having him by her side. It was a bit unnerving sometimes when she didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Almost as if they were back in that tent far from the rest of the world in some random forest. But they weren't in the tent anymore, they were with the Weasleys at the Burrow, and they were safe. And right now Ginny needed Harry more than she did. So she bucked up and gave him a quick smile before telling him to go on, that they would talk later.
When she got back into the Burrow, she started to help put the leftover food from the reception away and clean the kitchen. She wasn't really sure what she should be doing here. When they were on the run, she was the one that would clean up around the tent and take care of the food. Now, there wasn't much for her to do, and while it was nice for a change, she felt a bit restless. Nothing to study for, or plan for, or pack for, or worry about. It was a feeling that she hadn't experienced since, well since before Hogwarts. Usually if she tried to do any work around the Burrow, Mrs. Weasley would shoo her and tell her to go and have fun with the boys. But Molly hadn't even bothered to clean anything. She took one glance at the kitchen and went straight to her room with Arthur following close behind. Everyone else had gone to their respective rooms as well, besides Bill and Fleur who had returned to Shell Cottage. So when she was done cleaning and putting everything away, Hermione walked up to Ginny's room to get her beaded bag which still had all of her clothes in it. She excused herself to Harry and Ginny who were lying on the floor together, just quietly staring at the ceiling. At first she thought it was a strange position to be in but she realized that they just needed to be close, and that Mrs. Weasley would most likely have a coronary if she saw them lying like that together in bed. The floor did seem like a much safer place. She crept to the cot where she kept her beaded bag under the pillow and left the room as quietly as possible.
After going to the bathroom to change into some more comfortable clothes and wash the makeup off her face, Hermione stared into the mirror above the sink. She hadn't looked in a mirror in a long time. The one in the tent had had a huge crack going right through the middle so she had eventually decided that there wasn't much use bothering with it anymore. Of course, being a witch she could have fixed it with magic, but for some reason she had never wanted to. She had never particularly liked mirrors, and being on the run had only increased her dislike for them. She knew that she couldn't look to great with all of her layers of clothing and mussed hair. But there was something else lurking in the back of her mind that she didn't much want to admit. She was on the run. And not just to help Harry, but because she had to for her own safety. She was a mudblood, no matter how much she could deny it or try and give it other names. At the end of the day that is what she was and there was no changing it. It wasn't something that she was ever ashamed of. In fact she was proud. She hadn't grown up with wizard parents who could teach her things, and yet she was still one of the brightest witches her age. But being on the run had changed things. People like her were being captured and imprisoned, and somehow knowing that if she were to walk into the middle of Diagon Alley at any moment, that she would be arrested because of the impurity of her blood, that made her feel ugly. Not physically, she knew that being from a whole line of wizards would not change the way that she looked. It was that people she didn't even know could hate her because of something she could never change. But the worst part of all, was the feeling that she would never be clean again. After Bellatrix had relentlessly, mercilessly tortured her for information that night. That was something that she would never get rid of. That made her feel ugly.
She knew that if Ron ever knew about those thoughts that he would go mental. If he knew how many times she would lock herself in the bathroom in the tent and seal it off with a silencing charm just so she could cry, he would lose it. She knew that Ron never wanted her to listen to what other people said about her blood status, that she was brilliant and beautiful and strong and that those things shouldn't, and didn't matter. But when the whole world hates you and every one like you, sometimes there is no escaping that feeling of self loathing.
Now that the war was over, she felt a bit better. The half-bloods were being freed from Azkaban. She knew that she could go anywhere being who and what she was and wouldn't face any consequences. But she also knew that she would be dealing with this problem for a long time, that there was no quick fix or potion that she could take to feel better. So she took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. Of course nothing had changed. Her hair was a little longer and there were some cuts and bruises on her face and neck, but she didn't look all together terrible. She could live with the cuts and bruises; it was the things that people couldn't see that haunted her. But now was not the time to think about that. So she pushed it away again until it was in the recesses of her mind. There were more important things to focus on. So she threw her hair up in a sloppy bun on top of her head and pulled a jumper on. She left the bathroom and went downstairs. She stood at the bottom of the steps and looked around; no one was down here of course. So she decided to go outside. It was getting dark but she still had some time and a wand. Plus she knew the Burrow well enough to know how to get back.
For a while she walked around just looking at things. Admiring the beauty of the little flowers popping out of the ground and the wind making the leaves rustle. When she really stopped to think about it, her problems often seemed so trivial when compared to the world around them. They were all such a tiny part of a much greater picture. After a while, she got tired of walking and decided to sit down. By some odd coincidence, she happened to sit right in front of the grave where Fred was just buried only hours ago. She hadn't planned on this, maybe subconsciously her mind had led her here. For a while she just sat looking at the dirt that had been piled up to cover his coffin. She didn't know what to say, or if she should say anything at all. After all, who was there to hear her? But she began to feel uncomfortable, and when Hermione felt uncomfortable, she often started talking.
"Hello Fred," she tentatively began. "This is a bit odd. I bet you're up there laughing right now at how uncomfortable I look. You always did like making fun of me. Especially when it came to Ron. I mean you and George were just relentless. I think you both knew before either one of us did that we would end up together. Well go and collect your galleons because you were right, we're together. And I'm absolutely sure that you were taking bets on how long it would take. Is it strange that I came to your grave to talk about your brother? I hope it isn't and I don't mean to be disrespectful. I do miss you. No matter how much I may have disapproved of some of your choices or tried to be the high and mighty prefect in school, you could make me laugh. I wouldn't always let you see, but you did. I know how important laughter was, is to you. So even though I'm not technically a member of your family, I'm going to make every effort I can to make sure that the family doesn't just crumble. I know that's not what you would want. Being that I am such a know-it-all as you liked to call me, I know what you would want. You would want for Bill and Fleur to have lots of little half-French babies and Charlie to tame tons of dragons so that he can tell girls the stories of how he got his burns. You would want your parents to go on and be happy and be the strong people that they are. And for Ron to become and Auror and be successful and do what makes him happy. And as for me, he already has that and I'm not going anywhere so no need to worry. I know that you want George to get on his feet and open up the joke shop and make people laugh and maybe meet someone and be happy. I think that you would tell Harry to stop being so noble all of the time and to take care of your little sister, and for Ginny to become a Quidditch star in the big leagues. You would probably tell me to loosen up a bit and start enjoying life and laughing more. As for Percy, it's him that I'm really worried about. I know you all weren't talking for so long and I think that that hurt you more than you let on. He was your big brother and no matter how much you all teased him, you loved him. But I can tell that he feels so much guilt and although if you were here you would probably tease him about it, I know you don't want him to spend his life blaming himself for your death. So I'm going to do whatever I can to help him, because no one should have to feel that way. " For a while Hermione stopped speaking. It was almost dark out now and the wind was blowing but it was completely silent. But she felt as it Fred could hear her. "Well anyway, I just want you to know that we miss you and it's going to take some time but I am going to try my best to help everyone heal from this. And it's going to be really hard. You are a very hard person to forget about Fred Weasley. But we love you, and we know that's what you want; for us to move on from this. So that is what we're going to do." She felt as if there was nothing more that she could say without crying. On instinct she thought to conjure up some flowers to put on the plot, but she thought that was a bit cheesy for Fred. Instead she got her wand from her pocket and conjured up a pamphlet from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. It only seemed fitting.
Eventually she found the strength to get up, (she was suddenly exhausted) and head back towards the Burrow. When she finally made it back to the old lopsided house, she saw a boy with unmistakably red hair sitting on the back steps. After a moment and a deep breath, she found the strength to go up to him and sit next to him on the stairs.
"You said you wouldn't leave me," he mumbled after a moment of silence.
"Oh Ron," she sighed. "I'm sorry. But when I can inside…afterwards, I thought that you wanted some time alone." He didn't answer. She didn't know what to say. For some reason the thought of going to find Ron just hadn't crossed her mind. She just thought that he would want space. And what could she possibly have to say? That she knew how he felt? Because she didn't. Suddenly, she felt Ron grab her hand. It wasn't like at the funeral where it felt as if he was holding on to her for dear life, but it was lose and casual. Just a reminder that he was still there.
"It's ok. At first I was kind of mad, but I think that I'm more mad at this day than you. Plus I saw that the kitchen was clean when I went to get some food, and I'm sure that my mom didn't do it so thanks. I know that will mean a lot to her." Hermione smiled to herself. She was glad that they weren't fighting and that he wasn't mad. She knew that she probably should have checked on him, but she didn't.
"I saw you walking out here," he continued. I figured you went to see Fred and I was right. I know you two weren't exactly close friends, but I know that you loved him, and he loved you, and it means a lot to me that you went to talk to him." Hermione could feel the tears coming but she didn't want to cry, so she answered by lightly squeezing his hand. They sat like that for a while the sky got darker.
"What did you think of what Harry said today?" she finally asked. He didn't answer right away, he seemed to think of an answer. She could see that he wanted to say the right thing, because it wasn't often that Ron thought before speaking.
"I thought…I thought that he was right. It wasn't really what I wanted to hear, but who does want to hear that their older brother is dead? Harry knows a lot about death. More than most people three times his age would understand. For a long time, I tried to understand some of the things that Harry said and did, to try and push people away, even us. After a while I gave up, realizing that there would just be some things that I didn't get and that he wouldn't be able to explain to me. But I think now I understand. And he's right. I always thought he was just morbid, but he's actually right. Fred is dead and we have to realize that. He's not gone, but he is dead. And although we have to take the time to heal, we can't let it destroy the rest of our lives, because that's not what Fred would have wanted. Because then death wins, Voldemort wins. That's not what we fought this long for. Fred would have tried to get us laughing and looking at the bright side of things. And I think if his twin hadn't just died, George would be doing that job right now. It's going to take some time but we can do it, this whole family wasn't sorted into Gryffindor for nothing."
As they sat there, Hermione thought that she couldn't have put it better herself. She and Ron didn't always agree on things, but she was confident that he was right. It was going to take some time, but everyone was going to be alright. For now, at least they knew that.
A/N: yeahhhhh baby two chapters in two days! i just wanted to say thank you sooo much to all of the people who put me on story alert and favourited and reviewed! i actually don't know how to reply to reviews but when i do figure it out be sure that you will get a thank you from me! it means so much that some of you are still reading especially after my inexcusably long hiatus. i actually wasn't planning on finishing this chapter today or really even starting it, but when i saw your reviews and alerts i just had to! i'm actually quite proud of this chapter i think it turned out pretty well after only a few hours on the spot. i think i could have gone into a bit more detail on some things but its not awful. please tell me what you think of this chapter! so i will be starting the next chapter pretty soon, maybe even tonight if it's not too late after i get back from visiting my mama in the hospital. so when you review, please let me know what you would like to happen! i wrote something in the first or second chapter of this story and i think that i'm going to contradict what it says. it may not be for a couple of more chapters i haven't completely decided if i even want to do it yet but if you've been following this story, as soon as i write it you should know what i am referring to. but i don't want to give anything away! so look out for another chapter within the next couple of days! much love and happy reading, cheers!