Me: Welcome back! I am SO sorry that I haven't updated! I'm having issues at school.
Yuna: P.S. We want to clarrify the ANBU uniforms since I'm sure a couple of you out there had found a couple of Hika-chan's mistakes.
Yuno: 1) Gin is the Hawk ANBU. Hika-chan accidentally made him the freaking Dog ANBU when in reality it was supposed to be me. You understand right? We, the muses, are in the story!
Gin: 2) A certain person mailed to Hika-chan(even though we said not to on that part specifically) about the age of two certain ANBU(SNEEZECOUGHTEHSHARINGANHACKCOUGH!). Apparantly you made Hika-chan want to change their freaking ages. And so we shall do so.
Kakashi/Wolf=20 years old
Itachi/Weasel=10 years old (Gin: You know I almost pity the fact that he's the youngest ANBU in our group. Almost.)
Yuna/Cat=23 years old
Yuno/Dog=23 years old
Gin/Hawk=24 years old
Yuno: I wonder when there will be some action.
Yuna: You'll just have to wait and see, right Gin?
Gin: I guess.
Me:...Well here are the results for the pairings!
Itachi/Naruto 1
Naruto/Harem 1
Kyuubi/Naruto 2?(There are two genders for Kyuubi in here and a no-gender Kyuubi too. You guys need to be more specific you know?)
Shikamaru/Naruto 3
Me: And that's it. Oh and honestly, I thought that people would go more for Naruto/Haku or even Sasuke/Naruto.
Gin: What? I was thinking harem/Naruto. Yes Naruto as UKE and everyone else seme.
Yuna: O.o....I'm starting to question your sexuality...
Yuno: Your not alone...But Naruto would make such a good seme too if you think about it.
Yuna: BROTHER!!! O.o How could you think that!!!
Me:....................I regret......Ever making you 2 hentais.........Ero-shonens...
TheBoys: You made us! It's you who should be called a pervert!
TheGirls: You have your own individual intelligiences! YOU were the ones to make your decisions!
Boys:...............(sweatdrops and laughs nervously)...................Sorry..?
Me: Sorry ain't gonna cut it. For that, I'm SO gonna kill you off in the story earlier and make sure you have less time than Yuna. Yuna start the show.
Yuna: With pleasure. Chapter, START!
(Last Time)
" Hey kid." Naruto looked at her, then around, and back at her. He held up a finger and pointed to himself signaling a silent question. Tsunade chuckled. " Yea you. Where are those guys you were talking about? I;m gonna give a piece of my mind." This earned cheers from all the ladies from the bar and shudders of terror from the men, who were also starting to pray for the souls of the unfortunate men.
.......................................................
" Naruto, go and play with Yuna and Yuno over there okay? Gin keep watch." The 3 ANBU got the drift and Naruto, as always, just nodded. Seeing as they were far off enough to not hear, Kakashi turned back to the confused Sannin. " Naruto-Naruto is hated by mostly everyone in Kanoha." Tsunade looked shocked.
.......................................................
" No, it's just most people say mean things about me and hit me and...." He couldn't continue even if he wanted to. The tears that fell off his face made sure of that. Tsunade upset that to see him so upset motioned for him to come over to her. He ran to her so quickly that she was startled when all she saw was a little spark of yellow before he was on her lap. But she put the thought aside as she felt the wetness soak into her clothes and felt his small frame move up and down in sinc with his silent sobs. She did the only things she how to do to confort him; rock in her arms and sing a lulaby.
(End of Flashback)
After a few moments after putting Naruto to bed, Tsunade was making the list of ingredients she would need for the antidote.
Most of the ingredients were easily found near the rivers, under the lakes, in the forests, and on the hills. Only one ingredient needed to be asked for. And that was toad blood. Indeed, it was a nasty thought, and it also needed to be infused with chakra from the toad itself, meaning she would be needing the blood of a summon seeing as only summon animals could use the blue aura-thingy. Which also meant she would require the assistance of a certain mega-pervert...
Oh dear Kami-sama.
" OBAACHAN!!! WAKE UUUUUUUUP! " A whiny little voice cut through the morning. Said old lady woke up groggily, and apparantly, if the loud thunks from other rooms and the one from the roof, the ANBU had fallen out of their beds from their ever rare good night sleeps.
" Ugh! Naruto! Quiet down. You're going to get us in trouble with the neighbors." Tsunade scolded. In truth, she didn't give a rat's ass if the neighbors were bothered at all. No, she just wanted Narutio to shut up for a little while, without seeing mean to him. It seemed to work...For a while.
Exactly 10 minutes later, Naruto jumped on top of Tsunade's sleeping form and started to sing loud enough to annoy her to conciousness and the undercover-ANBU who were dressed like pedestians with a young child and a pretty lady, without bothering anyone else.
" I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee!
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee!
OUCH! It stung me!"
The door was slammed open by a pair of incredibly cranky twins, who were boring holes into the oblivious blond boy. The Slug Princess was doing the same. The effort was futile. The hyperactive boy kept singing.
" I'm squishing up the baby bumblebee!
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up the baby bumblebee!
EW! It's yucky!"
A very much tired Kakashi came into view. He sighed in defeat when he saw Naruto singing and dancing all aroung the room. The also equally tired Gin wearing his ANBU uniform and hawk mask came through the window as he was the one who had woken up that night for gaurding.
'Which he didn't seem to have done' the Kakashi thought. He stored it away for later. The boy started up again.
" I'm wiping off the baby bumblebee!
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm wiping off the baby-"
Naruto's wonderful(1) singing was cut off when Itachi came into the room and said a single sentence which made no sense to Tsunade but made perfect sense to the discised ANBU who prayed for their young comrade and his soon-to-be-empty wallet.
" I'll buy you all-you-can-eat ramen for lunch if you stop singing Naruto." He sounded defeated.
Needless to say Naruto quickly shut-up and looked at Itachi with a foxy-grin. Tsunade sighed. Naruto reminded her so much about three other people. All of which were dead. Not to mention he looked so much like the three-. She shook her head sighing, banishing the growing dark thoughts out of her mind. She spoke up.
" Well Naruto, seeing as you got everyone up, I suggest we all go get those ingrediants for the cure, ne? We do only have about 5-4 days left from what I hear about this..."
The ANBU quickly agreed and got the seperate lists for getting the items after getting into uniform. Tsunade started giving out the lists she made the previous day and the ANBU read and re-read her instrutions before burning them with a small Katon-Jutsu.
Before the ANBU left to get the ingrediants, a thought popped into the feline ANBU and she couldn't help but voice it out loud.
" What will you be getting Tsunade-sama?" Yuna asked. She was to gather two bushels of four kinds of different flowers, her brother a variety of herbs, Kakashi two vials of three different kinds of liquids, Gin the equipment needed to make and inject the cure with, and Itachi getting five kinds of disoulvable solids. But Tsunade didn't say what she would be getting.
Tsunade sighed as Naruto looked up at her with confused eyes, his his whisker-like scars coming together as his face scrunched up. She simply said, " Summon Toad blood."
Yuna's and Tsunade's eyes twitched when they heard three insane giggles and chokes coming from the other side of the room. When they turned their heads towards the sounds they saw Wolf, Dog, and Hawk all giggling pevertedly and Itachi choking on his own spit, his face noticably flushed bright pink.
Naruto wondered what was so funny and voiced it so. His reply was a unanimous, " We'll tell you when you're older."
Yuna coughed into her hand. " Right then, lets get to work! Tsunade-sama I believe you wish to bring Naru-kun with you?" A nod was her answer. " Very well then. I'm guessing you're are going to use one of his special-jutsus?" Another brisk nod was her answer. Yuna sighed. " I wish you luck Tsunade-sama." And with that she sped off with the rest of ANBU group. But for some reason, Naruto could help but feel a sense of dread. It was almost as if he wouldn't be seeing someone again...
Now, while the ANBU were on a scavanger hunt, Tsunade and Naruto headed toward a large hotspring, the latter skipping the way there, his hand in the lighter blond's, making the two look like for all the world to see a mother and child.
When the duo had reached thier destination, they immediately spotted a flushed and giggling long-white-haired man who was looking through a peephole through a fence while occasionally muttering, sketching and writing something down all the while have a single string of drool hanging from his mouth. Naruto stepped slowly away from the Slug-Princess as the aura around her became increasingly darker and vicious.
" Oh Ji-rai-ya!" The blond sannin said slowly in a overly sweet voice. The man violently twitched as he heard the all-too-familier voice. He turned around as slowly as he could, definitely afraid about what he would see. He didn't see much as a fist collided with his face at a bone-breaking speed as Tsunade cried, " PERVERT!" and sent him soaring through the air before he landed in a nearby forest.
" Now Naruto, remember never to do what that man was doing alright? I don't want to hurt you, ok?" Naruto could only nod dumbly. Sure he saw her use her super strength on Kakashi-nii and Itachi-nii but this was different. She was telling him this with a smile that didn't reach her eyes and the women who had looked over the fence to see the white-haired man; Jiraiya wasn't it?; nod in agreement with equally forceful polite smiles. Needless to say, this experiance will cause Naruto to become the pervert basher he shall be into the future. Which I might add will cause him to get numerous ammounts of the dreaded RRFs...(2)
" Good. Now then let's go look for my old teammate shall we?" Asks Tsunade as she grabs hold of Naruto's hand. He let's her take it of course, it would be futile to resist. And so they make thier way through the forest, the blue-eyed boy idly wondering how his Nee-chan and Nii-chans were doing...(3)
The five ANBU were currently under attack from a bunch of Kanoha ninj-no, traiters who were out to 'kill the demon incarnate' after seeing his 'demon spawn loving nincompoops'. Yep, these guys were going to get excuted but WHY of all the ninja's to go rouge did it HAVE to be SEVEN FRIGGIN' JOUNIN!?!? Over-kill much? And did they HAVE to be some of retired-ANBU's that Sarutobi forced to give up their masks and swords for trying Naruto when he was but a year-old? Seriously, you'd think they'd have learned by now!
As the members of the N.P.N.G. squad dodged another onslaught of kunai and shuriken, they all sneezed simoltaniously in the air. 'Are you worried about something Naruto?' was the common thought going through the ANBU's mind before getting back to the task at hand.
Naruto, bright-eyed, looked around the forest noticing that it held different animals and plants. As a butterfly landed on his nose he looked at it cross-eye earning an amused chuckle as the konoichi saw him sneeze.
She saw a figure with his upper body buried in the ground near a small river. She walked up to the body and pulled it upwards by the poor man's ankles. Seeing as he was unconcious she tells Naruto to cover his ears, close his eyes, and turn around, not wanting to scar the boy for what she was about to do. The adorable cerulean-eyed boy, completely innocent and fully aware he would be punished if he did not obey, turned around and faced a tree.
Tsunade, satisfied that he wasn't going to be watching kicked the man where-the-sun-don't-shine straight into the river. Fortunately for Naru-chan, he never heard it but the loud, girly, ear-piercing shrieks echoed through-out the woods reaching the ears of the fighting shinobi. I don't think I like where this is going...
Me: I'm going to end this here. But I have a present! It is an.....OMAKE!!!!!! XD...Eh-hem well yea. Sorry if it's bad. Never did one of these before. BTW, this thing is a flashback to where Naruto was 3 1/2 years old and it includes chasing a little blond boy who could somehow escape from ANBU, Ninja crazy glue, and neon orange food dye. Find out for yourselves what horrors await a certain Uchiha.
Quote from story: "Yea, even though he's like every other kid, but he loves to pull pranks. Isn't that right Itachi?" Said ninja got a suspicious pink hue on his face.
It was a quiet morning in the town of Kanoha, where everything was right in the world.
" NARUTO!!! GET BACK HERE!!!"
Or not.
Said boy giggled mischieviously to himself while he ran from his newly dubbed 'Itachi-nii'. The boy had just been assigned to watch over the hyperactive blond along with his other ANBU team members. But first he had to go through his initiation process, which is Naruto's excuse to play a prank on his new protecter. The other older four ANBU watched the situation amused, Hawk even bringing out a bag of popcorn.
It was the same with Kakashi-nii, Gin-nii, Yuno-nii, and Yuna-nee. Naruto would play a very disabling prank that could cause dier consecquences on serious missions by seriously handicapping them.
Like for Wolf, who had the honar of being the first one ever to be pranked by Uzumaki Naruto, was doused by a bucket full of a foul smelling mixture that smelled of rotten fish, only to fall into a 2-story pit filled with starving stray cats. Any hunter nin or enemy ninja with a keen sense of smell would've smelled him before they saw him and it took a whole month to get the smell off. He also couldn't look at Yuna's masked faced for 5 months.
Gin fell victum to a simpler prank, but it was all the same degrading. He had a tape recorder attached to the sheath of his wakizashi(Is that how you spell it?)that was so well hidden it took a Hyuuga to find it. The recording? A bunch of silly, digusting, embarassing noises whenever he shifted his upper body weight forward or down. There was no doubt an enemy ninja would have heard him on a mission, seeing it took a week to find it and 2 monthes to get his rep back to a normal state.
Then it was Yuno's turn. Naruto some how had gotten hold of the poor Dog ANBU's uniform and super-magnatized anything and everything on the outfit that was metal which made Yuno a magnetic target for all things metal for the day. It was a short lived prank but it could have killed him.
And Yuna. Poor, poor Yuna. Naruto had decided to put a type of mushroom that apparantly caused people to hallucinate into a saute dish she was making for herself when she was off duty which in turn caused her to become etremely loud, crazy, brash, and worst of all, stupid for about 3 days. Needless to says she had to work to get back the respect she lost.
Now for the people of the N.P.N.G., they can only wonder, how in the frigging world was Naruto able to get pass their keen ANBU senses, make such elaborate traps, find the time to do the traps, and come up with the traps, all under at least one of their watchful gazes. But back to Naruto and Itachi.
The little boy who was trying to escape the young Uchiha looked back over his shoulder only to laugh anew when he saw his new piece of work. The Uchiha had ended up caught in his prank causing a rubber-band powered trigger slingshot to launch numerous balloons filled with Ninja crazy glue, the kind you used to put bombs together with and only accessible to ninja(which makes you wonder where he got the stuff[Hokage-sama sneezes])mixed with bright neon orange. Yeah...If Itachi was on a mission he'd probably be dead seeing as his entire uniform screamed 'I'M OVER HERE! GO AHEAD AND KILL ME IF YOU WANT!' as well as the bottom portion of his hair. Haha. This was going into the records.
Me: Well here's the rest!
(1) You can see the sarcasm dripping off that sentence!
(2) RRFs=Raging Rabid Fangirls/guys....*shudders*
(3) Yeah. He felt another wave of dread.
MyMuses: Well that's that!
Me: SEE YA EVERYONE!
Muses: GOODBYE!!!!!