Me: Welcome back!
Yuna: There shall be death!
Gin:......This is going to hurt isn't it?
Yuno: You bet. Well, here are the results for the pairings!
Itachi/Naruto 4
Naruto/Harem 5 (If you see that there aren't many people voting for this it's because they aren't a fanfic writer like Moi. The 4 votes are from my friends since they're PERVERTS! And they are GIRL perverts. Makes me wonder why I hang out with them...)
BoyKyuubi/Naruto 2
FemKyuubi/Naruto 4
Shikamaru/Naruto 3
Yuna: You know, I've a question Hika-chan.
Me: What?
Yuna: Weeeeeell....How are YOU going to write the mushy stuff eh? Last time I checked, you could be even more asexual than the stoic Uchiha's!
Yuno: Wow. She's right! How ARE you going to do it?
Gin: I KNOW! I bet she'll go and ask her perverted friends!
Me:.......................Yuna, since you brought up a good point, I'll make sure you don't suffer(much) when I kill you off....Yuno, I'll let you die with her. Gin, you're going down first......In an unsightly way.....
Gin: Aw come on! That's not fair!
Me: Payback's a b****. So deal with it.
TheTwins:*sweatdrop* Hika-chan does not own Naruto and never will. We are tired of stating the obvious so we will stop disclaiming. We all know who the real damn-lucky owner is.
Gin: Let's just start.
Me: Roll chappy!
(Flalashuro Bakku no Jutsu!)
Most of the ingredients were easily found near the rivers, under the lakes, in the forests, and on the hills. Only one ingredient needed to be asked for. And that was toad blood. Indeed, it was a nasty thought, and it also needed to be infused with chakra from the toad itself, meaning she would be needing the blood of a summon seeing as only summon animals could use the blue aura-thingy. Which also meant she would require the assistance of a certain mega-pervert...
...................................................
Needless to say Naruto quickly shut-up and looked at Itachi with a foxy-grin. Tsunade sighed. Naruto reminded her so much about three other people. All of which were dead. Not to mention he looked so much like the three-. She shook her head sighing, banishing the growing dark thoughts out of her mind. She spoke up.
...................................................
Yuna coughed into her hand. " Right then, lets get to work! Tsunade-sama I believe you wish to bring Naru-kun with you?" A nod was her answer. " Very well then. I'm guessing you're are going to use one of his special-jutsus?" Another brisk nod was her answer. Yuna sighed. " I wish you luck Tsunade-sama." And with that she sped off with the rest of ANBU group. But for some reason, Naruto could help but feel a sense of dread. It was almost as if he wouldn't be seeing someone again...
...................................................
When the duo had reached thier destination, they immediately spotted a flushed and giggling long-white-haired man who was looking through a peephole through a fence while occasionally muttering, sketching and writing something down all the while have a single string of drool hanging from his mouth. Naruto stepped slowly away from the Slug-Princess as the aura around her became increasingly darker and vicious.
...................................................
As the members of the N.P.N.G. squad dodged another onslaught of kunai and shuriken, they all sneezed simoltaniously in the air. 'Are you worried about something Naruto?' was the common thought going through the ANBU's mind before getting back to the task at hand.
...................................................
Tsunade, satisfied that he wasn't going to be watching kicked the man where-the-sun-don't-shine straight into the river. Fortunately for Naru-chan, he never heard it but the loud, girly, ear-piercing shrieks echoed through-out the woods reaching the ears of the fighting shinobi. I don't think I like where this is going...
...................................................
The Omake...
(Justu no Kai!)
"...Obaachan? can I turn around now?" Naruto, although he had not heard the pitiful shreiks, did feel the vibration go through the ground when the old-man, was it Jiraiya?, fell into the water. That and felt wet since some of said water landed on him
" Go ahead Naruto. Obaachan here is only pulling this disgrace of a human being out of the water." The slug princess replied.
When Jiraiya was pulled out of the water, he was unsurprisingly unconcious. Naruto, being a curious little kid, walked up to the man and started poking him with a stick. Where he got the stick, Tsunade didn't care enought to find out. So, here was cute little Naru-chan, poking a perverted old man with a stick, much to the female sannin's amusement, in order to see what would happen.
Jiraiya's subconcious, unbenknownst (1) to the two blonds, was telling him to wake up and beat the crap out of the fool who dared try to wake him up from his sleep. When he finally cracked an eye open, his forehead sporting a mighty tick-mark, he blunk his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming, his previous irratation fleeing from his mind.
He stared at the tiny blond and the blond stared right back. But Naruto, as we all know, doesn't really have good patience. So what does he do? Say something very similar to one of the most frequent things Jiraiya's long past student said to him.
" Hey! Are you alright Ero-jiji?" Asked little Naru-chan, waving a hand over a still shocked Toad sannin's face. "You shouldn't make Obaa-chan so mad if you want to live any longer."
' Oi! Ero-sensei are you ok? You should know better than to peek on konoichi in the hotsprings if you want to live long!'
Now if he was in his right mind, Jiraiya wouldn't have said a specific name that could very well change the lives of everyone here. But he wasn't as he was still recovering from the beating he got from his insanely strong teamate. And so, he squeaked the name out.
" Minato!?" 1...2...3!
THUNK!
Jiraiya had fainted. Tsunade wasn't too far either. She had been watching the interaction with great interest and then proceded to freak out when he said that particukar name. Like so...
" Wait-What!? Naruto's-! He looks like-! How!? But then he-! Minato's-! OMG Naru is-!"
THUD!
Yep. Right after the ranting she fell into a deep slumber, leaving poor confused Naru-chan all alone. But he had decided to voice out his thoughts even though no one was there to listen to him...
".....Who the heck is Minato?" (A transparent blond cries into his wife's waist as he cries with anime tears.)
....Well no one he could see.
(Right next to Naruto when he said those words.)
" He doesn't even know me! Waaaaaaah!" The man started to cry again.
The man was Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage of Kanoha, and also, the deceased but still overprotective parent of his only son, Naruto. He has sunshine-blond hair and cerulean blue eyes, which his son had inherited from him. He also has the same goofy smile, curiousity, stealth, speed, and pranking abilities.
He was wearing the standard shinobi pants tied from his lower knees to his ankles with baddages that were baggier at the bottom and closer fitting at the top and a long-sleeved forest green shirt that showed of his lean but solid build. He also wore a black vest like a jounin's only thinner and more protective with some extra pockets that had his clan's symbol on the back of the vest shaped like a hurricane, standard blue shinobi sandals, three weapon pouches, one on his right calf and two on his belt line, and, of course, a Konoha headband. And he wonders why girls stalked him.
" Minato, you already knew that. What's the difference now?" His wife scolded.
She was Kushina Uzumaki. She had hazel eyes and bright red hair which reached the small of her back. Her personality was tomboyish and brash but it was also caring and loyal to a fault. She was a former ninja of Uzu and was once the daughter of royalty in her village. That was until it was destroyed.
She was wearing a long-sleeved grey shirt under a tight-fitting dark red t-shirt that hugged her well developed curves and wore equally tight fitting black konoichi shorts that reached the top of her ankles. She had two weapon pouches on each calf and another on her beltline. The look was complete with black shinobi sandals, a Konoha headband on her forehead, and finally a Uzu headband on her left shoulder sleeve. Yea, her fanclub still mourns her loss.
" The difference before was that he didn't know my name! WAAAAAAAH!"
The other couple next to them, sweatdropped.
" Ano-sa, when are we going to activate his bloodlines? I mean, his greatgrandparents are the freaking most powerful things in our existence!" Said an identical girl. She was Umiko, Kushina's younger twin. She was like her sister but more refine. Oh and when I said identical I meant it. She wore the same outfit as her sister only that the T-shirt was dark grey and the shirt under it was a normal red. That and she wore her hair in a low ponytail.
" You know she's right." Said her husband, a man with darker red hair cropped to the length of his chin and red eyes. His name was Ryu. He had baggy khaki colored pants with lots of pockets, a dark blue T-shirt with a silloete(2) of a nine-tailed fox on it. His shins were tied up with bandages and so were his arms from the elbow down, not including the fingertips.(3)
" I don't know but soon. I've got a bad feeling something will happen to him. You all have their permission right?" Said a suddenly serious Minato. Hey, he knew when to be serious and when was a time you didn't have to be. He wasn't Hokage just for show you know.
" Anata, they are giving him some of their own powers. I think we have their permission."
" Right. But still, four of his ancestors are the greatest gods we know! I mean, he's got Kami and Shinigami from my side of the family and Akuma and Inari on your side Kushina! And his uncle is the Kyuubi! No offense Ryu.(4)
" None taken. I also wonder what his reactions will be when he learns of his titles as the last of the royal line of Uzu and Namikaze. That and when he finds out who exactly he's related to, including his ancestors. Amazing what you learn when you die right?"
" Yep." Said Kushina. It was only when she died that she learned that Kami and Akuma were girls and and that they were twins. Scary.
" Whatever. But I still wonder about my kits." Said Umiko.
" Indeed. I cannot believe that-that abomination of a human named Orochimaru had the gall to cause the kits to go on their combined hissyfit ranpage. But I'm proud of them, they had enough power to take me down when they were only three combined! Although I'm sorry that Natsumi and Natsuko only released their new tails when they saw us being slayed by that snake. Which we should look into."
And the four spirits kept on talking until they heard Naruto scream.
(While the strange spirits were talking...)
Naruto had decided to wander around the forest, not caring that Tsunade and/or Jiraiya would go into histerics when they woke up at the moment. So while he wandered, he soon heard sounds.
The sounds of metal clashing against one another.
Now if Naruto was older and more sensible he would have known it was a bad thing to go towards the sound of fighting, especially him given what he's been through. But he is not older nor completely sensible as he is still a four year old. A very curious four year old. (5)
But as he nears the sounds of battle, he is spotted, not by his Anbu gaurdians, oh no. He was spotted by one of the rouge ninja's crying out for his blood.
The kunai flew through the air.
SHHHIIIICK!
It hit it's mark.
Naruto screamed.
The Anbu snap their heads towards the dreadful sound so fast they should have gotten whiplash.
" NO, NARUTO!!!"
Hawk turned on the perpetrator(6) and cut off his head viciously with his shortsword. There was murder in the Anbu's eyes. But the other rouges were not detered.
Another of them charged at the fox boy as soon as his comrade fell, shouting gibberish, totally insane. The Anbu wouldn't be able to make it in time, and Naruto couldn't move, even while his body screamed at him to move, dodge, run, duck, to turn the other way, he was frozen in fear.
As the corrupted jounin closed in on him, he shut his eyes waiting for the pain to come to him.
He felt two presences running toward him and the charging man but thought nothing of it even as he felt the two come near.
SHIIIIEEERRIIICK!!!
Naruto heard the sword hit something, sure it was him, so he waited for the inevitable pain from a sword wound, to be inflicted upon him.
He waited, and he waited.
But the pain never came...
Me: CLIFFHANGER! Ooooh, I'm SO evil.*insanely evil cackles*
TheTwins: Yes, yes you are.
Gin: O.O SOMEONE DIED! I JUST KNOW IT!
Me: I have no clue what your talking about.*shifty eyes*
MyMuses: =.=
Me:...Ok MAYBE I do, but you can't prove it!
Gin: Didn't you threaten us earlier in the beginning, AND state that we die somewhere?
Me:....Damn, I knew I shouldn't have done that, but did I listen to my instincts? NOOOoooooOOOOooo!!! I just HAD to write it down.
Yuno: Um, Yuna and I are the ones who died aren't we?
Yuna: What makes you say that?
Me: Yeah, it could've been Itachi and Kakashi! Afterall, even though I said earlier I wouldn't kill them off, I could just as easily change my mind! Or maybe I kill you and Yuno or you and Yuna off! There are quite a few choices you know.
Yuno: Fine! Whatever!
Me: I'm sorry to inform the viewers that there will be no Omake this chapter. I'm too lazy to do it. Here are the AU note thing-a-ma-jiggies.
1) Did I spell that right?
2) Ditto to #1
3) Ya know, like Rock Lee's?
4) Yea, Ryu is the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Rawr. XD
5) The only ninja training he ever recieved was how to use his chakra to henge, run away as fast he could from people he couldn't beat, and hide in the shadows. Anything else, he's got no clue. So yeah, he went towards the danger zone because of the lack of training in that area.
(6) I not sure if the spelling is correct.
Me: Well that's all. SEE YA'LL LATER!
EVERYBODY: GOOD BYE! C U NXT TYME! (LOAO!!!)=(LaughingOurAssesOff)