Anon-expendable Asset

Chapter 5

What's your type?

"Hey." Said Callie walking down the steps into the living room "Gunnar, can we get some food?"

"Sure." Said Gunnar from his spot on the couch in front of the TV "What kind do you want?"

"I don't care." Said Callie moving towards Gunnar "Anything's good."

"Do you want to order in or go out?" Said Gunnar turning towards Callie

"Hey are you alright?" Asked Callie looking at Gunnar

"Yeah," Said Gunnar with an air of annoyance "Why?"

"You're a little pale." Said Callie "And your eyes are a little bloodshot."

'I'm fine." Said Gunnar getting up "Let's go eat."

"Sure." Said Callie

As soon as Callie left her seat on the couch to go grab her jacket the front door slammed open and the whole expendables squad filtered into the apartment

"Hey kids," Yelled Toll Road "behaving ourselves?"

"Fuck you Toll!" Yelled Gunnar looking to Barney "You're home early."

"Yeah." Said Barney putting the take-out bags in his hands down on his kitchen counter "We got done a bit early and figured we'd head home. How's my little girl?" Asked Barney looking to Callie

"I don't know." Said Callie "How's my sperm donor?"

"Ouch." said Hale seating himself on the couch

"Word's hurt." Said Yin Yang jumping up to sit on a kitchen counter

"How was shopping?" Asked Tool sitting at the kitchen table

"It was good." Said Callie "I bought a lot of stuff… Thanks for the money by the way." She said looking to Barney

"You're welcome." Said Barney "Hey Christmas?"

"Yeah." Yelled Christmas from the couch

"Is Lace still good to take her clothes shopping tomorrow?" Asked Barney

"Yeah," Said Christmas "and I have nothing better to do so I am going with."

"You said there would be no more shopping with big burly dudes." Said Callie looking at Gunnar

"Hey." Said Gunnar "Don't look at me, I didn't do it."

"Big, Burly, Dudes." Asked Toll Road

"That's what she keeps calling us," Said Gunnar "with the exception of Jackie Chan over there." Said Gunnar making a motion to where Yin Yang was seated

"Hey!" Said Yin Yang "I work hard."

"No offence guys," Said Callie "but you are some big, burly, dudes. I say being brutally honest."

"Come and eat." Said Tool "Talk more about who's bigger than who after food."

"I think that it's just because she thinks we're hot." Said Hale grabbing some Chinese food from one of the bags

"We are hot." Said Christmas taking a bite out of his chicken

"Some of you maybe." Said Callie "But none of you are my type."

"Why is that?" Asked Yin Yang

"I refuse to answer," Said Callie taking a bite out of some rice "Lest I incriminate myself."

"What is your type?" Asked Toll Road "Who do you date?"

"I don't date, never have." Said Callie

"Never?" asked Barney

"Nope." Said Callie "I don't see what the big deal is. I don't date, I do however seem to have a type when it comes to the celebrities, or fictitious people."

"Well then." Said Tool "What is it?"

"I'd rather not." Said Callie

A chorus went up among the boys egging her on

"Okay." Said Callie "Okay. " Normally, I like larger guys, kind of muscular, tall's a plus, I prefer blondes, nationality doesn't matter, and there's always girls' attraction to guys with a little bit of damage."

"Anything else?" Asked Christmas through a cocky grin

"My mom always said I had daddy issues." Said Callie looking to Barney "I wonder why… so I've never really cared about age."

"Well." Said Tool "Sounds like you would love gunnar."

"Tool?" Asked Barney shooting Tool a dirty look "What are you talking about?"

"He's right." Said Christmas taking a drink from his beer "Just think about it."

"Gunnar's Tall." Said Toll Road "And Blonde."

"Muscular." Said Hale

"And definitely has issues." Said Yin Yang

"Fuck you Chinaman." Said Gunnar looking to Yin Yang

"They'd make cute kids." Said Tool

"On that note." Said Callie getting up from the table "I am going to sleep."

"Shopping bright and early tomorrow." Said Christmas

"We're leaving at two tomorrow afternoon." Said Barney "After shopping you'll be here alone, Tool will be next door if you need him."

"Okay." Said Callie "Goodnight."

"Okay Gunnar." Said Barney as soon as Callie was up the stairs

"Yeah?" Asked Gunnar

"Are you using again?" Asked Tool

"Using what?" Asked Gunnar

"You know gad damned well what!" Exclaimed Barney "You are using while living in the same house as my daughter."

"It has to stop." Said Tool

"It stops or you are out." Said Barney

"You won't make me go." Said Gunnar

"Why not?" Asked Barney

"All the things I know." Said Gunnar "I could put you all in the ground."