Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.
Chapter 7: Stupid Cow
Problem after problem plagued Tsuna ever since Reborn, that sadistic little hitman had come into her life. First it was Gokudera; then Yamamoto; then his little training events. Now, now she was being stalked by that, that bloodthirsty man.
Said man was leaning against the wall of the school gate, blocking her escape home. Mentally, Tsuna threw a tantrum and screamed in frustration. Nothing, absolutely nothing was going right anymore.
"And what are you doing, Omnivore?" he growled.
Tsuna moved forward, slowly, carefully, making sure not to feel intimidating to the prefect in any way. "Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just about to go home. I have-"
A bullet grazed her cheek and a blood oozed out from the slit. She growled and turned to see her mentor smirking. "Reborn, can't you just let me be? Just once? Perhaps right now?" She dreamed for the baby to just…
"Dame-Tsuna, your training session hasn't ended." Reborn had ignored her words, and settled for continuing to shoot bullets at her. All the bullets landed imbedded in the school wall.
The shots had also alerted any nearby students and in seconds there was a gathering of whispering kids surrounding the group of three. Hibari growled.
"For destroying school property, crowding and disturbing the peace in Namimori, you shall be punished. I will bite you to death." He leapt straight at Tsuna with a murderous intent.
Worried for her life; from both the madman baby and murderous prefect, she ran away as quickly as her legs could carry her to the salvation of her home. The only thing was that he was following her. Reborn she could understand. They lived together after all. But Hibari? How was she supposed to explain him to her mother?
This couldn't get any worse.
"JUUDAIME!"
Except for maybe when an enthusiastic bomber was added to the fray.
Gokudera came running behind her, trying to call out to her while lighting his dynamite to throw at the prefect that seemed to be chasing his Juudaime. 'Wasn't he supposed to be refilling his stock?' she thought and ran even quicker.
Her lungs contracted harshly trying to take in the most oxygen possible and she breath harshly out. She did this all while maintaining a calm face: the usual running style she had taken to. Breathing in and out in a ratio of 1:3 to 2:3 and pumping her short legs quickly against the pavement, her breathing twice as slow. The books had always suggested this was to run, and it worked well; It kept her from growing too exhausted.
In minutes she had reached her home. A few meters away from the door, she flung her hands inside her pockets for the keys and immediately cursed at the empty space. Reaching the door she slammed her fist on the doorbell. A gasp as heard, most likely because of the sudden bang, and slow casual footsteps were sounding inside.
They were only a few meters behind her now. Reborn was leading with a smirk followed by Hibari with his tonfas reaching out for her and Gokudera whose breath was rugged from running and screaming so much.
They were 10 meters away.
6 meters.
3 meters.
1 meter.
Reborn's bullet had grazed her checks once again, and the bleeding had increased even more. Then, finally, the door was flung open by a distressed mother.
"Tsu-chan! Did you cut school halfway again? You know it's—" she stopped talking once she took a look at who were behind her daughter. "Tsu-chan! So you finally brought some friends in! And guys? How cute~ Come in come in!"
She ushered the two dazed boys in quickly and sat them down in the living room couch. She also either disregarded or didn't notice the large bleeding wound on Tsuna's cheek. "Tsu-chan, I'm so proud of you~"she squealed while handing out the drinks: coffee for Reborn, green tea for Hibari, Earl Gray for Gokudera, and finally for Tsuna she placed the Encyclopedia of Everything Known to Man and Women on her lap. The book was so thick it went up to her eyes.
Tsuna grinned joyfully. "Kaa-san, Arigato." She hadn't had a good book in how long? Nana smiled softly and answered, "Well, I did promise Tsu-chan that when she finally brought some friends, I would let you have it. Papa's friend, Basil-kun actually bought it a long time ago, so he was going to give it to you!" Tsuna lunged at her mother and gave a small hug."Thank you. And I'll thank Basil-kun when I get the chance."
Meanwhile, the three men, well two men were waiting with raised eyebrows. Gokudera was admiring her 'thirst for knowledge', but even Reborn hadn't even thought to imagine that Tsuna would have a love of encyclopedias. What was she, a nerd? Of course, he had never even seen the books lying around the house. All the books in her bookshelf were random picture books after all. Hibari was the less stunned of the two. He had seen the herbivore reading an encyclopedia not long ago, in front of the school building, and it really didn't matter anyway.
"But I'm so happy! What are your names?" Nana squealed, peering at each male while Tsuna was engrossed in her book.
Gokudera shifted nervously and replied, "It's a pleasure to meet you, honorable mother of Juudaime. My name is Gokudera Hayato." He stood up, gave a low bow and sat back down. Hibari only grunted and replied, "Hibari Kyoya." Reborn watched the two curiously.
Nana squealed again and glanced at the two. "Awww. You're so cute!" She stared at Hibari, then Gokudera. Both blushed, in embarrassment or anger she didn't know. Hibari would most likely be blushing in anger.
"Sure… Mom, perhaps you could bring in some snacks? Gokudera, Reborn and Hibari-san should be hungry…" She trailed off as Nana nodded enthusiastically. "Better yet, Hibari-san, Gokudera-san, would you two like to stay for dinner?"
Gokudera agreed with tails wagging. Nana wouldn't mind, she would love having people over, but Tsuna wasn't sure about Hibari. Would he agree or just leave? It was really none of her business, but this was a chance to see if he was really just a fighting machine, or a human with actual emotions.
"... No." Hibari replied and left the house with his black jacket fluttering in the wind. Gokudera snorted. "The bastard thinks he's so cool."
'Heh.' It was an amusing thought, really. To believe that Hibari Kyoya would strive to look 'cool' in another's eyes was something she could never believe.
"Anyways, I would love to, Juudaime's mother!" Gokudera agreed vehemently.
So Tsuna, Reborn and Gokudera went up to Tsuna's room while Nana was preparing dinner. Reborn's eyes gleamed and Leon transformed into a green gun. He pointed it at Tsuna and ordered, "Training will continue."
At least there weren't bombs this time.
Interestingly enough, Tsuna was standing right in front of the windows, and outside on a tree branch stood a… baby in a cow suit? What was even stranger was that there were two horns protruding from the afro.
"WAHAHA! Remember me, Lambo? Well, good! Die Reborn!" he shouted. It was really random… The infant with the afro hair took out a gun and shot.
Nothing came out.
"Huh?" the baby questioned, snot dripping out his nose.
Reborn ignored the sight and asked a random question from some thick college textbook. How in the world would she understand that? Complex high school questions she knew, but not complicated college questions! It was understandable that she had answered with a random number.
"…27?"
The answer was miraculously…
Reborn smirked. "Wrong." And shot his Leon gun. Which was dodged by Tsuna and broke through the window to the still flabbergasted baby. The bullet hit the baby with force, and he fell down from the tree branch.
A loud noise, most likely crying penetrated the area, and Tsuna sighed at Reborn. Even if the baby sounded annoying, there was no need to shoot at him. 'Hmm… The name Lambo… sounds familiar. What family was that? Whatever' she though before flinging it out of her interest zone (of her mind).
Thus, the questions continued. Well, the first one began until the door banged open and broke off the wall. Then the little kid that had been outside was now standing in her room… He had arrived in seconds. Most definitely strange…
"Once again, It is I, Lambo! Prepare to die Reborn!" The kid says this enthusiastically to Reborn, who ignores him. The child, Lambo, presumably gapes in disbelief while Gokudera, who had been watching his boss peacefully, stood up in anger. "Don't disturb Juudaime you stupid cow!"
Tsuna, sensing this would end up in a huge mess and likely kill her room, tried to calm the two (mostly Gokudera) down. "Now now Gokudera. Should you really be arguing with a little kid? Besides, it seems to me as if he knows Reborn." She turned to Reborn, who ignored her words. "Dame-Tsuna, stop talking with your subordinate. You still have training to continue."
Lambo was now beginning to shed tears. "D-DIE REBORN!" he yelled, running straight towards the hitman. This moment lasted for a second as Reborn uncaringly slapped the child to the wall. "GYPAN" the kid cried as his head hit the wall.
Sliding down slowly the boy murmured, "Ow, that hurt… I must have tripped over something." He had tears in his eyes, but sat up and gave a bright smile; or at least tried to through his intense pain. Grinning widely he shouted, "I, Lambo-san , 5 years old, from Italy, a hitman from the Bovino famiglia, tripped! Favorite foods are grapes and candy and I, Lambo-san, who met Reborn at a bar, just tripped!" Rising up and running in front of Reborn, once again introduced himself.
"So yeah, let me try this again. Yo, Reborn!" He smiled and raised his hand in greeting, and was once again ignored. "It's me, Lambo!" He was ignored.
Dropping his head down in disappointment and frustration Lambo tried once more. Grinning happily, he poked his hand into his giant afro and pulled out a bag. Reaching in, he spoke with a carefree tone, "Ah! Yeah, I brought a lot of souvenirs from Italy this time~"
Now Tsuna's interest was piqued. Not to mention she actually felt bad for the kid. So innocent, so naïve, so easily manipulated: that was children. Smiling encouragingly at the kid she asked, "From Italy? What did you bring, Lambo-kun? Reborn and I would love to know."
Cheering up at her interest he smiled and said, "Oh? What's this?" He wiggled his hands inside the bag. "It's Kiritanpo!" Tsuna, though not interested at all at the food smiled. Reborn on the hand, continued to ignore the boy.
Lambo's mood changed into utter despair and Tsuna really didn't want the child to cry all over her room. Moving forward and patting the kid's head she encouraged, "That's great! Do you have anything else?"
Gokudera, angry with his boss's attention to the stupid cow scoffed. "Psh! The stupid cow head wouldn't have anything of use to Juudaime!"
Though discouraged, Lambo nodded and pulled out from his hair… a bazooka? Tsuna frowned. 'What the hell is a 5-year old doing with a bazooka? And is that the-'
"T-This time-sniff- I borrowed lots of weapons from the boss! The 10 year bazooka!" He exclaimed.
'I knew it' Tsuna sighed. What was he doing with something that valuable?
"Those who are shot with this can, for 5 minute switch with their self 10 years in the future! But this is extremely valuable so I won't use it!" he ended, trying to draw any sort of interest from the hitman tutor.
Reborn was still ignoring him, though he twitched seeing Tsuna's 'weakness' to 'crying cow heads'.
Lambo began sniffing. "To~ler~ate~" he muttered. Tsuna tried comforting him, giving pats on the back and it seemed to be working. That is, until Gokudera, even more frustrated, kicked the infant away.
Hurt and angry, the baby pulled out from his hair a grenade and spoke. "O-Oh? What may this be?" before screaming. "DIE REBORN!" He ran towards the hitman and was about to throw the hand grenade when Reborn, again, slapped the child along with his hand grenade out the window.
The boy went flying when the grenade detonated.
BOOM.
The explosion rocked the sky and Tsuna gaped while Gokudera smirked.
Turning to Reborn, Tsuna dead-panned, "Seriously Reborn? Now it's child abuse?" Reborn sniffed arrogantly. "I don't know him. Either way, if it's the Bovino family, they're a rather small mafia group. I don't associate with those who rank lower."
Tsuna snorted. "Foolish, Reborn. Extremely foolish. If the Bovino famiglia has such weapons in their disposal, they are clearly worth something. Interacting with the smaller groups will only earn their deep respect, gaining more allies. It seems to me that you're merely being childish you know."
Reborn retorted, "It seems to me you have no problem with the role of the Vongola boss."
Growling, she answered, "Even if the ninth believes that I am the one who will rule, there are alternative whom I believe in." Before she could say any more, a shout came from downstairs. Nana was calling her down.
Sighing, Tsuna glared at Gokudera (who gaped in anguish) and said, "Gokudera, you stay here."
Giving one more warning to Reborn, Tsuna stepped down and came face to face with Nana and a black, crying Lambo clutching her mother's pants. He was sobbing, his hair had branches and leaves in them and his cow suit burned. All in all, it was a rather sad sight.
Nana, not even noticing the state of the child suggested, "He's Reborn's friend right? Did they fight? Tsu-chan, you're older than both of them, so be the middle lady and sort it out okay? I'll be in the kitchen~"
So she left both of them near the front door. Lambo had climbed and clung to her leg. He was still crying. Trying to cheer him up, Tsuna asked, "Do you want to visit Reborn?" He startled her with his large shaking of his head. Tsuna groaned. 'Great. First he wanted to be Reborn's 'friend'. Now he's absolutely terrified of the guy. Smart, Reborn.' She mentally berated the hitman.
What was worse, Gokudera had disregarded her words earlier and was now 'hiding' behind the stairs with a miserable puppy dog stare aimed at her. Taking in a deep breath she called out, "Gokudera."
He flinched, and stood up. "Y-Yes, Juudaime?" She spoke sternly, "Come here." And he did so, his head hung down. Lambo had stopped crying and was now watching the two. "Follow me" she said, as the three walked to a nearby river and was now sitting on the grass beside the flowing stream. Gokudera was still moody, but at least Lambo was behaving.
"Gokudera" Tsuna began as he raised his head. "I'm not particularly angry at you, but do you have something to say to Lambo?" She stared at him, asking him to apologize to the infant.
Gokudera frowned and yelled out, "But he was-" Tsuna interrupted him. "No buts Gokudera. Apologize." He sulked. She sighed. Then said, "A right-hand man would be able to the problems in the… family you know."
He gasped and stared at her. She stared back. Finally, after much thought, Gokudera nodded and took in a deep breath, as if preparing himself for a grave task.
He faced the baby and gave a small bow. "Please forgive me… Lambo-san…" He looked as if in pain while saying this. Tsuna smiled at Gokudera, and he brightened. She then turned to Lambo.
Who shouted cheerfully, "NO!" That broke the dam as Gokudera's pleasure turned to fury and he growled, "What'd you say you stupid cow head!"
This was obviously going to turn into a huge mess, so Tsuna took a piece of candy she had found in her pockets and handed it to Lambo. "Lambo, I'll give you this piece of candy if you forgive him."
Lambo, gleaming at the candy nodded and snatched it from her hand. Tsuna patted his head. She then held back the snarling Gokudera.
Wrapping her arms around his abdomen, she spoke, "Do you forgive him, Gokudera?" Red invaded his cheeks and streamed all the way to his ears as he stuttered, "F-Fine, if that's what you want, Juudaime."
Tsuna smiled. She was finally pleased. After all that stress, it was finally calm.
…
The three sat on the soft grass: Tsuna was in the middle with Gokudera on her right and Lambo sitting on her lap. Then Lambo sniffed, "La-Lambo's dream is to be the boss of the Bovino Family…and make all humanity bow down to me!"
He sniffed at stared at the flowing river. "But, my boss told me to defeat the super first-class hitman, Reborn…" Tsuna sighed. 'Ahh, the ignorant and naïve youth…' Gokudera snorted, "As if—" He was silenced by Tsuna's disproving stare.
"When I was taken to the bar the first time by my boss, he was sitting on the counter. We spoke a lot, even if it was our first meeting. While Lambo was eating his favorite grapes, Reborn was blowing bubbles with his gun from his nose."
Tsuna sweatdropped. "He was sleeping." she voiced out bluntly. If was best to get rid of misunderstandings early on, unless of course, it was beneficial, which it wasn't in this case. "Reborn believes that the Bovino family is of lower class, so he doesn't want to talk to you."
Her words were harsh, and Lambo began to cry once again. "R-Really?" he whimpered. Tsuna spoke, "Yes." Lambo was now crying on top of Tsuna. Gokudera really wanted to just kick the baby away, but he held it in, knowing what his Juudaime would say to him.
Tsuna glanced gratefully at him before continuing. "But, Lambo, did you know that if you grow famous and make your famiglia a first-class one, he would talk to you?"
Lambo stopped crying and sniffed. "R-Really?" She nodded. "Yes. One day, you will be a world famous hitman, just like him. Do you want to be?"
He wiped his tears away. "Yeah!" he shouted. "Then you'll have to train hard, try not to disturb Reborn, and be nice to Gokudera. Can you do that?" This time, with less enthusiasm, he answered, "Y-Yes!"
"Good."
Then she felt a disturbing amount of admiration from her right. Slowly, she turned to see those glistening eyes… "JUUDAIME! Your speech was very inspirational!" he complimented. Yeah… she nodded and they left the river with Lambo still hugging her leg.
Diner began relatively peaceful. Gokudera and Lambo were eating quietly enough as they said apart from each other. However, this tranquility lasted until Nana left. With her gone, Lambo tried to make conversation with Reborn. He was ignored.
This led to a whole 'knife throwing' tantrum, where Lambo… threw his knife at Reborn. The knife was flicked away with minimum effort, and Lambo's knife carved into the boy's head. Blood was flowing like a river, but Lambo ignored this and with tears streaming down his cheeks, settled for taking out his bazooka, shooting himself.
POOF
The pink ('Why pink?' Tsuna thought) smoke cleared and showed a nicely dressed teen. He had silky black hair and a black suit with a cow print shirt underneath.
"Eh? Ah! Onee-sama! It's good to see the younger version of you~" The man, Lambo says as he hugs the girl. Tsuna was a tiny bit confused. It seems ten years really did a lot to the child; the only similarities between the two were the horns and the cow-like clothing.
"…You are Lam-"
"GET AWAY FROM JUUDAIME YOU PERVERT!" Gokudera yells, face flushed and dynamite out. He glared jealo- protectively. Protectively at the weird guy who was hugging his boss.
The man noticed Gokudera and in his eyes emerged some… emotion. She could analyze his facial muscles and the shape of his mouth and eyes, but she could not understand what type of emtion the man had, or at least, she couldn't put such a tangible feeling in future Lambo hugged Tsuna even tighter and stuck his tongue out at the fuming boy. "Hello to you too, Stupidera" and turned his head away. Gokudera in return, growled, "Why you-"
That's when Lambo noticed Reborn. "Ah~ Hey Reborn. How are you treating my ten years younger self?"
Even then, he was ignored. Reborn kept on slurping his spaghetti, and Lambo had a tick mark on his head. Meanwhile, Tsuna was holding Gokudera back (while still being hugged by Lambo). No one really appreciated being ignored…
It was a faceoff between Reborn and Lambo. There was electricity between the two. There was no sound but the chewing and feeding of Reborn. So far, Reborn was winning.
'… This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to eat like this?' Tsuna grumbled internally, still holding back Gokudera.
Finally, Lambo lost his cool and shouted, "DIE REBORN! Thunder Set. Elettrico Cornata!" His horns excluded lightning as he dashed to Reborn. It was still no surprise to Tsuna that the now 15-year old child soon had a fork stabbed into his head.
"To~ler~ate~ WAHHHHHHHHH!" Lambo ran out of the room, away from Reborn, crying .Tsuna and Gokudera sweatdropped. Lambo had not changed at all…
But it appeared that no actually cared about the crybaby as they all resumed eating. After all, why should she care about the welfare of Lambo, when the infant version wouldn't even know what pain he had gone through in those 5 minutes?
Just as they had continued eating, Nana returned with a still crying for some reason, (was the future that bad?) child Lambo. Sniffing, he jumped on Tsuna's lap and clutched her shirt.
Nana smiled at Lambo's attachment to Tsuna and sat down. Gokudera glared at the baby and resisted (courtesy of Tsuna) the urge to kill him. Reborn twitched and continued eating.
Tsuna, not seeing any problems, pulled Lambo sitting up and began to feed him while eating her own meal. Lambo was enjoying this immensely; to happy to 'play' with Reborn.
And that was when Reborn had enough. First, the baby distracts his student from her studies. Then he drags his student outside her room for no reason. (Though Nana had a part in that.) Finally, the sniveling, stupid little cow had the gall to ignore him (not that he cared) while being hand fed by his student.
As soon as Nana had left the dinner table to clean the dishes, he picked up another fork and flung it as the cow's head. It hit straight on, and in seconds Lambo was running around the room crying, with a fork stuck centimeters deep in his head. When Nana came to investigate, Reborn was playing innocent. Tsuna just sat there with a raised eyebrow.
Gokudera, who witnessed the whole thing applauded Reborn and jeered at the infant, increasing the child's energy supply, making the child run nonstop around the house, crying. Tsuna was reduced to calming the child through some grape candies that were lying around the house.
"Gokudera, what did I say before?" she sighed. It had taken forever to get the child asleep in the bed, in the storage room. It took even longer for Tsuna to convince Lambo not to sleep together with her. She didn't have enough space with Reborn there. Luckily, Reborn's malicious smirk combined with another batch of candies smoothed the situation.
Therefore, Gokudera really had not improved the problem; he sort of caused it.
After five whole minutes of reprimanding, (Pitiful, really) Gokudera was reduced to a feeble frowning boy that sat around the house until late. Finally, he stood up and was about to leave the comfortable house back to his own apartment he had rented out… alone.
It was such a sad scene and Gokudera was her subordinate after all, so she stood up and hugged the surprised Gokudera from the back. Her arms wrapped tightly around the man's slim waist and she leaned her check on his back. Gokudera's face was flaming, and he whispered, "J-Juudaime?"
"Gokudera. I should apologize for what I said earlier… Can you be more polite towards others, Gokudera?" she asked, her words muffled by his clothes.
Contrary to popular belief, Tsuna was not exactly disgusted with what she was doing. Hugging a man was degrading and mostly uncomfortable. She didn't have many (or any) good memories (except the day she and Xanxus had hugged) of being hugged. Most had been of her father's excruciating bear-hugs. Some of them were from random strangers on the sidewalk when she was young and went out alone to shop. They varied from strange men in black suits to grandmothers with baked goodies on hand. All claimed they knew her from either her father or mother. Basically, she didn't like being hugged, and she didn't like to hug.
But Gokudera was different, in some aspects. He was someone she knew. He didn't hug her too painfully. But most of all, it was supposedly the comfortable body he had. It was subtle and hard, yet radiated warmth and was comfy. It sort of reminded her of the times in Italy. His smell was also something that addicted her; the faint smell of cigarettes and dynamite was overpowered by his natural scent of pine and dew after a harsh storm.
All in all, Gokudera was someone she would hug if the need came up.
Tsuna was still had her arms wrapped around him breathing in his strong scent, and Gokudera's redness had reached down towards his throat. He really didn't want to move, only bath in his boss's warm embrace.
But alas, all things had to come to a stop. Reborn had popped out of nowhere and landed on Tsuna's head. "Ciaossu."
It scared the two enough for them to part. Gokudera was embarrassed. Tsuna was calm, though irritated; the heat had made her drowsy.
"You should go to sleep and prepare for the test tomorrow Dame-Tsuna." Aka: Go to sleep or else. Tsuna, already tired, nodded and waved the still red Gokudera out her door.
Reborn was finally satisfied, and went upstairs with Tsuna into bed. She sighed. She would most likely have to deal with Yamamoto tomorrow (Reborn would force her if she didn't), and it would probably be an annoying experience.
So she settled for hugging her makeshift pillow (Reborn) tighter and lulling herself to sleep.
Reborn watched her slow inhale and exhales with sharp eyes. After seeing her fall asleep, he too moved himself closer to the woman's body warmth and fell asleep.
A/N: Hope you've enjoyed it... I somehow feel like my quality is getting worse and worse, especially the plot. But besides that, please review and give constructive criticism. Please just wait patiently for the other characters (Varia). The Mukuro arc will probably be shortened.
Also, I might not be updating as quickly, since I have a lot of school work and such. And I have other fanfics to work on...
*NOTE- I have edited it, though this is mostly minor.
Edited again. Jan. 4. 2012
LilyMoonstone and Sekai no Kiseki- Sorry it was so unclear. But Tsuna has both real guns and water guns. She only took out the water guns becuase it was useful in that situation, where she put out the dynamite. I mean, would Xanxus and the others really let her use just water? She trains with bullets. If you could tell me why you thought that and where, I would be glad to fix it. The compartment was just another name for the spaces or pockets on her where she put her guns.
13animenurd13- i'm actually reconsidering, since I'm reading more TYL fanfics. The plots vague, but it's coming to me. Of course, there are still many more chapters (some fillers) before I can even get to that.
clippit- ... I really need to read over my author notes. But the 'changing' thing was just about the next chapter. This chapter is a bit different from the manga storyline. I don't know why I wrote that; must've been delirious. Sorry about that. but thanks for taking the time to read the A/N. I appreciate it.