Chapter Two - "The Limp Noodle"
I pouted on the way to the baggage claim. I did not get my sex, and I didn't know how much longer I could wait.
Edward feeling my frustration, leaned in, his lips brushing lightly across my ear lobe.
"Iam sorry my love," he brought his lips to my nose so I could smell his sweet breath. "The plane ride was very taxing for me. Soon I promise."
I melted. I couldn't be mad at such a dashing man, even if his previous fart could kill an entire nation.
Edward put his arm around my waist as we waited for our luggage. Once the goldenrod suitcases made their way into sight on the luggage belt, Edward swiftly grabbed them and returned before I could notice his arm gone.
"Shall we?" he asked, leading me out to where our second limosine awaited us. I couldn't believe it. The limo was even more luxurious than Carlise's and it had such a large, spacious, comfy back seat.
He held the door open and helped me climb in. The neon lights were a-blazin', perfect for a secret romp while the drive drove casually in the front. None, but my sweet and sexy Edward and me, would be the wiser to what was about to occur in the limo.
I grabbed the zipper to his dark wash denim jeans the second he took his place next to me in the back.
"Oh, Bella..." his voice was soft velvet and calling me to continue on. Picking up my pace, I pulled the zipper down revealing the tasteful plaid undergarments in which he clothed what I could only imagine was a very impressive member. I looked up at his smoldering, golden eyes hungrily and pulled his face to meet my own.
We embraced in a passionate kiss, clawing at each other the way only lions in heat do. He kissed down my neck slowly unbuttoning my blouse. I wanted to scream in extasy. The night I had been dreaming of was finally coming, after many a month of sexy persuesion. However, I had to keep mum for if the driver heard all my plans would be hopelessly destroyed for the second time that day.
Edward had his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer into the kiss, into him. The usual coldness which his body gave off was completely overpowered by my body's rising radiating heat. I slowly ground my bust into his chest, annoyed by the two layers of lacy and cotton-polyester fabirc between us.
"Edward," I whispered as seductively as I could manage in the heat of passion, "I want you to remove my bra."
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Bella" he whispered back, nodding his head towards the window.
We had arrived at the hotel. It was large, white and everything Elvis would have ever dreamed of. Edward looked like a child in a candy store as he gazed out the window. He quickly turned his attention back to me, clearly feeling as though he had offended me.
I held my shirt open for him to view my new lacy bra, "Just think of it as a preview of good things to come," I cooed.
He licked his lips with desire as we quickly resituated ourselves and headed toward the check-in desk.
"Hi. We have a reservation for two under Cullen," He leaned in an spoke roses to the burly woman, ripe with age, at the front desk.
As he and the woman delt out the proper information for us to aquire our honeymoon suite, I inconspiciously caressed his inner thigh and over the layer of denim that covered his 'little Edward'. I needed to keep his arousel level where it was as we got out of the limo.
He flinched with desire as he finished up the neccessary transactions in which we recived a room key. We quickly made our way to the elevators ready to tear at each others clothes as if this was the last chance we could ever have sex again.
The elevator doors swung open for us to find a vacant elevator. I smirked as we entered, it was time for Edward and I to have a kinky sex story to tell the kids.
"We're all alone here," I whispered into his ear before kissing down his neck.
"But what if someone comes on at one of the levels?" Edward questioned. Lightly pulling me off his body even though his eyes smoldered with need.
I smashed my hand against the 'Elevator Stop' button.
"I took care of that problem," I giggled, continuing where I had left off.
I had just started removing Edward's belt when the elevator started letting off a high-pitched beeping noise. I sighed, falling back to the wall in defeat, knowing that our first time would have to be in a bedroom. He probably would have wanted it that way anyway. Edward brushed my hair soothingly as a busty man entered the elevator and joined us.
"So. You folks on vacation?" he asked, making small-talk. Didn't he know we had a mood to maintain here? I didn't want to be making small-talk with some random guy who had just destroyed my cherry popping experience.
"Indeed," Edward replied politely. "It's always been my dream to visit Graceland after I get married. I've longed to share the special moment that is the Jungle Room with that special someone." He pulled me gently closer to him.
"Well. That's lovely, that sure is lovely. But you two won't have much time to sight-see what with this beein' yer honeymoon now, will you?"
"I'm sure we'll make do," Edward chuckled heartily. "Sex is only in the now. Elvis is eternal."
"Well ain't that the truth," the man smiled warmly at both of us. The bell dinged softly in the elevator. "Well, that's my floor. You kids have fun, ya' hear? Elvis brings joy to everyone and you kids are no exception. May the King be with you."
"Thank god!" I sighed with exasperation. "I thought he'd never leave!"
"He was a nice man," Edward recollected.
"Sex is only in the now?" I inquired. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I was just making polite talk," Edward leaned his head in for another passionate kiss. His breath lingered, along with the faint scent of the chicken from the reception, cuasing me to swoon.
"Now where were we?" I reached for the 'Elevator Stop' button again.
"Bella," Edward grabbed my hand pulling my body into a strong embrace, "You're like a dog in heat. Let's at least wait untill we get across the threshold to our suite,"
I wanted to argue, but his cold embrace kept me hypnotised. If my shnookums was a drug he'd definitely be oxycotton. His perfect muscles pressed hard against my body, and felt the vapors rise within me again. How did I manage to not tie him to the bed and have my way with him months ago was beyond me.
Not a moment too soon the bell for our floor finally went off. He picked me up wedding style and strode gracefully to our suite, sliding the keycard and kicking open the door. It was even more sexy than I had imagined. The hotel looked like one of the Japanese sex-hotels you read about in tour-guide books. The walls were lined with red satin and the bed was shaped like a large heart. On each table was a small model of Elvis in different states of his carrear from young Elvis to overly blubous old Elvis. Edward brought me to the bed and placed me down gently, holding his weight above me.
"Bella," he moaned again, his voice heaving with desire and lust. "If I don't probe my man-meat into your woman mound right now I think I'll absolutely die."
"Edward," I laughed heartiy. It pushed my arousal level to the peak, much like New York when she was talking to Buhdda in season two of I Love New York. "You're already dead,"
"Just shut up and take my pants off," He growled with sexiness.
We ravished each other, tearing off every artical of clothing we wearing until we were both fully naked on top of the heart shaped bed. However, there was one tiny problem. I was ready to finsh the Kentucky Derby, but it seemed that Edward still hadn't left the stalls.
"Hunny, aren't you aroused?" I questioned, directing his attention to his man hood.
"Yeah of course," his lips grazed my cheek to my lips to my other cheek. "Just give it alittle more time. it hasn't done it's job in one hundred years."
We continued with kissing and caressing for twenty more minutes, and still his member lay inactive in the flaccid position. My lips were getting chapped so I decided I needed to move on to more drastic measures. I kissed my way down his "happy trail", my final destionation was at his prized package.
As I reached my goal, I stared to take in the greatness that was Little Edward. It was better than any member I had ever seen, glorious in all ways (except for it's lack of reaction, of course.) Like a limp noodle it laid along the award winning pasta that was Edward's crotch.
"Maybe if you lick it?" he suggested, starting to sound worried that I might loose interest.
"Edward," I said, gazing up seductively at him. "I'm allerigic to gluten." I grinned and leaned in to give him a helping hand and tongue.
"Why isn't it working?" He exclaimed in frustration after another ten minutes of sucking that resulted in still an unaroused noodle.
"I don't know," I pouted. All I wanted was Edward Cullen's throbbing manhood in me, but I couldn't get his manhood to throb.
"Oh God!" He screamed and ran towards the bathroom.
"It's okay Edward. Let's keep trying," I mummered trying to gain access to the bathroom that was now locked.
"Hold on, Bella. I have an idea. I think I remember how I used to get this going when I was still human." He stopped talking and I heard encouraging grunts from the tiled room.
"That's right, Edward. No one really forgets. It's like riding a bicycle."
"I can only hope this wor--OW. Oh Jesus. Ow. People do this for fun?" he exclaimed, exasperated.
"Try some lotion dear. I'll be on the bed waiting," I seductively advised him.
I laid on the bed and waited for about five more minutes before Edward sprung from the bathroom. I jumped up ready for Edward ready to break out of the stalls and join me in the race.
"I'm calling Carlisle!" He cried. I was greeted with his still unerect penis.
His naked form was so georgous while he waited for Carlisle voice to answer on the other end. He was perfect and ripe for the sexing, if only we could've gotten the one most important part of his body working.