Unresponsive.

AN:

Thank you for all of the reviews so far. I appreciate everyone and thank you for the encouragement.

I apologize for the lengthy delay in updating. My laptop was in the shop for almost two months and I broke a rib. :| I'd borrowed a friend's laptop for my LJ challenges, which I've placed 1st once and 2nd a handful of times! I normally post the stories at the close of the challenges on here, but if anyone would like to read any of the specialty work, by myself, or from the amazing authors in the community, they are called:

iyfic_contest

iy-fanfiction

iyisseikawa

first tweak

Happy reading my little dearests. Let me know what you think. Feedback is always appreciated, never expected.

And once again, thank you for everything.

Her heart strings strummed chords to a song she had wanted to erase. That was the entirity of life, it seemed. The loosened skin on her grandmother's face appeared to melt like candlewax. She couldn't grasp how unresponsive Old Totosai had become. Her hands clung to his sheets, wilting against his legs like leaves.

Kagome felt ill. The scene played in a loop as her weary body crept into the old inn silently. Her grandfather had been ultimately overcome by the sedatives to kill his pain. It left her overwhelmed to see the wiry man so frail. Kaede had kindly hired a rickshaw driver to cart her home on his way to the market.

It seemed like the air in the town had changed, leaving her sour and bitter as the applecore InuYasha had left on the counter. Her kimono was muddied by the dirt on the seat as she plopped down, hoping to disolve into the shoddy woodwork.

The girl swallowed, clutching her head in her hand. It ached, thrumming with the presence of building pressure. She wanted to escape, just for a little while. The feeling of isolation kicked in, leaving a foul taste in her mouth.

As she looked at the clock, panic licked her senses clean of rationality.

"He's normally back by now," Kagome glowered, looking down at her tabi. "I wonder where he could be." She sighed as she skidded the chair across the floor. Walking to the sliding glass door, she parted it slightly to see the precipitation begin to flush away the snow.

Part of her wanted to see him hunkered down on the bottom of the step. It was something about the smell of cigarettes that comforted her. It was like she could always tell when he was around, or at least had been around.

There was something about the ticking clock that maddened her as she dragged her fingers down the glass in disappointment. Absently, she headed towards her grandparents room and plopped down on their patchwork quilt, which her mother had made.

Kagome closed her eyes, washing the fabric with her hands. She felt the love within the stitching and unfurled. The emotions she had hidden finally erupted into a furious whail. Seeing her family fall into the darkness was something she had never dreamt of.

There, in that bed, she had laid with her mother. She had told her stories of far away lands and adventurous heroines from the local myth. It hadn't mattered where they had moved, or where they had been. That bed was something that tied her to what was lost to her.

"Everything I touch dies." The girl sniveled, brushing away the grit on her face with the sleeve of her kimono. The silk felt like sandpaper against her raw skin. These relfective moments seemed to inundate her with puncturing wounds that never healed.

"I can't do this. I can't be here. I can't." Kagome rasped, violently ripping herself from the invisible hands that kept her grounded. She had strength, didn't she? She wasn't helpless. She wasn't.

Part of her wanted to linger in the warmth of the bed, but the rest of her forced her forward. Her body drove her into the hallway, directing her to he vancancy of her room. For a moment, she stood with her hands clutched to her chest.

Her sore eyes couldn't look at this place anymore.

This wasn't her. This wasn't who she was now. These pointing fingers could no longer suggest the proper pathway to follow. Her grandfather was dying. Her mother was a ghost, and she wouldn't allow herself to be.

The poison atmosphere burned her lungs as she breathed in the fumes of dust and decay. The remaining scent of cigarettes crushed her senses with a want that she longed for. As she exhaled, Kagome tore the kimono from her body to stand bare in front of the wardrobe.

There was no sense in staying in the decimation, was there? She just needed a moment. Just that one fleeting second to exist without the world reminding her of what happened to her, and what had transpired between the lines of the written story.

Bankotsu had no baring on her any longer. Her father didn't own her freedom, her grandparents needed peace, and she...

Kagome smiled sadly at the clothes, running her fingers along the Braille of the fabric. She was aware that InuYasha wasn't the answer. He was as broken of a person as she was, and their tether was as thin as paper.

Yet, as she felt the softness of his coat, she felt a jolt of heat burn her fingers. He meant something to her, but she wasn't sure what it was. He could be her lover to keep the coldness of winter away, she thought quietly.

It was strange that her heart didn't accelerate, or even skip a beat as she thought of him. Maybe, she sighed, there was something missing from the puzzle. Perhaps, it was the exhaustion of the day that made her feel so hollow. Yet, it had been like that with Koga. He was always traveling, never stationed in one place.

She knew that he had someone else. It had been nice to feel something new, and so enthralling. Bankotsu, he was special, and she'd loved him in an awkward way - or things about him. It hadn't entirely been his fault that he had done the things that he did, but she could no longer justify the crassness of his pyschosis.

A scoff kicked the back of her throat. How could she rationalize him and her feelings towards him? He had captured her and whisk her away in the broad daylight. It was as if all of the corruption had washed her brain of sense. Nothing connected. Her way of thinking was sordid, completely.

Time had inevitably stopped in its tracks as she jerked the coat and warm clothes from the closet. A bit at her, as she buried herself within the winter clothes and expunged the memory from her head. Kaede-bachan was coming home in the morning. Tonight was all she needed to feel anything but this.

"My god, I want to vomit." The girl said, ringing her hair with her hands as she turned around. Her eyes fell on the bed, and she paused. Heat charred her cheeks.

"InuYasha..." She murmured, running her fingers across her lips. She'd thought about that kiss all day. Even in the hospital, she'd felt guilty for thinking of him.

Allowing herself to attach herself to another person was a defense mechanism. She knew it. Closing her eyes, she shook him from her head and headed for the kitchen. The pantry was where they had stashed money they had found, and she plucked out a handful.

On her way to the diner, she passed by the train station, finding it hard to ignore InuYasha kicking his breaking bike. He was making a scene, whether he meant to or not. Kagome took it upon herself to weave through the icy patches and up to the platform.

When he saw her, it was if all of the air in his lungs had been pressed out with a pair of cinderblocks. He looked like a lot like a wily cat trying to escape the force of a broom.

Kagome nuzzled in her coat and tried to think of something to say. InuYasha didn't seem as though he wanted to talk to her, or see her for that matter. What had she done to drive him away? She wondered in a mute panic.

The best that she could do, under the circumstance, was smile awkwardly and sway like a wayward teenage girl; hands flittering behind her back. "So, this is where you've been." She said as gently and content as she could muster.

InuYasha nodded awkwardly, "Yeah, I'm trying to get out of here for a minute." He cleared his throat, finally giving up on the heap of metal beside him.

The girl furrowed her brows in confusion. He was leaving her, too? All of the subtle motions she'd been able to maintain had washed away. Her defensive behaviors started to take control of her, leaving the atmosphere riddled with tension.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kagome strangled, trying to remain passive. Her heartbeat tested her abilities and left her a blotchy mess.

InuYasha shrugged, not looking her in the eye. "I-uh, I didn't want to bother you with it. It's just something I have to do." He said nonchalantly, taking the time to remove his bag from the basket of the bike. "It's only a few days..."

"Still, it's a small town, InuYasha! Don't you think that I would have found out, anyway?" Kagome hissed, shoving her thin hands against his chest.

InuYasha gritted his teeth, fumbling to grab her flailing arms. He didn't think that she would have been this broken up about him leaving for a few days, or so he told her. "Dammit, Kagome! Calm down for just a fucking second." He hissed, finally gaining dominance over her.

The girl huffed against the cold night, spilling her heat into the air. "Let go of me." She rasped venomously, jerking her body against his grip.

The man rolled his eyes, and pushed her against the side of the old station. He held her arms against her chest, creating a barrier to rest between them. "Calm down. I'm a lot stronger than you, and I'm not going to hurt you, but you have to stop freaking out."

Kagome blew her bangs from her eyes, "I don't need you telling me what to do, InuYasha. I have a choice in everything I do, don't I?" She snarled, finding her couragousness to falter.

InuYasha leaned down, pressing the warmth of his mouth against Kagome's ear. It rattled her senses with an overbearing wave of nervousness and desire. Closing her eyes, she sank back against the cold wall to steady her quivering body.

"Are you going to calm down?" He rasped, hovering for a moment as if to inhale the sweetness in the air around her. An ache pulled at his abdomen, making him lean away from her. Kagome parted her mouth as she looked up at his tired eyes.

He wanted to say something, she could tell. Yet, he refrained as he released her arms and let them fall slack against her sides. Kagome stared at his tawny eyes intently. She was trying to read the literature hidden beneath his dusty cover.

The night was swallowing them in the dimly flickering light of the station. She felt like stripping of her coat to soothe the fire lighting her pores, but refrained.

"When are you coming back, InuYasha?" Kagome asked with a sordid sadness in her voice as she watched the man pluck a cigarette from his pocket.

A smirk hit his lips, "I'm not." He said in earnest. Those words hit the woman like a plague, rotting the hope from her bones.

Kagome's mouth fell and the rosiness in her cheeks bled white. The sound of his voice wavered and shook as though he hadn't wanted to tell her the truth. "You were going to leave without telling me?" She asked, furrowing her thin brows.

InuYasha chewed at his lip, inhaling his cigarette. A sad smile fell on his face as he placed a heavy hand upon her shoulder. "You have a life here, you know? I've got enough money to go back home and rebuild my life."

Kagome winced, "You think that watching my family suffer is the life that I want? There's nothing that I can do for them to change anything. I'm glad I was able to see them, but do you think that Jiji and Baba are going to live without one another?"

"Don't tell me that you don't want to be here. You wouldn't have bothered staying if you didn't." The man snapped, looking down upon her watery expression.

"I came back because I had to. I love them more than anything, don't question that. They have too much to worry about without me here. They're done worrying about me now that they know I'm alive." Kagome said, jerking the cigarette from the man's fingers.

She sucked in a harsh drag, trying her best not to cough. When the green hit her skin, InuYasha scoffed at her and took it away. "Don't act like you're grown up, because you're not."

Kagome clenched her jaw, finding every ounce of her being to burst with undescribable pressure. It ached like a thorn in her side. She kicked the slush away from her feet and shoved the man away from her.

"Stay the fuck away from me if all you're going to do is belittle me as though I'm a child." She said ruefully, turning her eyes to the glimmering lights across the town. "You don't understand how my mind works, InuYasha. It's not like a normal human being. After everything that happened to me - the abuse, the abandonment, the killing, everything - don't you think that at some point I'd be able to make my own decisions?"

InuYasha stood in silence, slicking a hand over his face. He pulled the toboggan from his head and shucked it on the ground, letting his hair down. He caught the look she gave him over her shoulder. It was as intense as the radiation from a mushroom cloud during a nuclear war.

The tension between them surmounted. He wanted to tell her he had wanted to take her with him, to have her to himself. The selfishness of his thoughts was almost overwhelming. The feelings that she raised in his stomach, and in the back of his head, made him nauseaous.

"You have nothing to say?" Kagome spat, inspecting his face as though the wrinkles around his eyes were holding them open.

"What do you even want with me?" He asked, raising his arms in a defensive manner. "I don't love you. I don't want anything from you. I just want to go back to Tokyo and start my life over with my son, alright? Am I being selfish for that?"

Sick to her stomach, Kagome looked away from him and clenched the front of the coat she wore. There was what was absent her ruminations from before. That annoying facade that he wore like a glove. He was no more than a boy trying to be a man. InuYasha was terrified of what he felt, and she knew it.

Hell, she was afraid herself. The feeling of being around him was almost euphoric in misery around her. She bared herself as though she would shake him, or slap the shit out of him if she looked at him again.

All of those wily thoughts pressed to the front of her head, and she could no longer contain her forboding jealously.

"No, you're not being selfish for that." Kagome gritted softly, closing her eyes as she let the words spill from her mouth. "But, are you in love with Sango?" She asked poignantly, finally finding the courage to face him.

InuYasha gaped at her for a moment. His hands absently gripped to her shoulders, lending him a pillar to lean against as he knelt down to her level.

"There is nothing between me and Sango." He said methodically. "Nothing. How did you even know about her, anyway?" He asked with an arched brow.

"InuYasha, she's my best friend. Baba told me earlier today." Kagome replied in nothing more than a whisper. Her heart thrummed a steady tune, becoming louder than the waves that crashed nearby. "If you didn't want me, then why did you kiss me?"

InuYasha inhaled sharply, finding it almost painful. He could lie to her some more, couldn't he? The answer was so much more dire than he allowed. He couldn't let her in. She didn't need him to be a whole person.

When no answer came, Kagome shook her head and pushed his hands from her shoulders. "It was nice knowing you, InuYasha. Thank you for taking care of me and protecting my family." She wanted to let her upset envelope her, but pressed on as she walked down the slick steps.

InuYasha was catatonic. Where had that part of her came from? It was like someone had flipped a switch and she was voracious and headstrong. He wanted to chase after her, but merely stood with a foot in his mouth.

Kagome looked like a ghost breezing across the melting snow. He lost her somewhere between the nearby intersection and the parcel of buildings.

Part of him was transfixed upon platform when he began to move. It was blind. His long legs pushed him past the platform, disregarding his parked bike, as he blew through the street. His mind refused to connect the dots that his heart had drawn for him.

InuYasha merely became a marionette to his own feelings, and let them guide him through the mud towards the sea. He knew deep down that was where she was, and his body ached as he fought the cold.

Panting, his slowed his pace, relaxing his body against a newer home in the community. "I'm a stupid motherfucker." He breathed, trying to collect his shaking nerves and stop his adrenaline from flaring.

His dark eyes searched the expanse of driftwood and rocks for her. It was hard to see much of anything, besides the illumination of the lighthouse in the distance. Momentarily, he waited to see if she would come around.

When she didn't, he began to walk down the beach to the pier. His hands were shamefully stuck in his pockets when he found her, hunkered down against a knotted pole. Her body was diminutive against the large pieces of wood, and he sighed.

Guilt was a two way street. Kikyo would have wanted him to be happy, but not replace the feeling he held for her as he did. How was that supposed to make him feel? Kagome was someone he barely knew, yet he felt electric around her.

And, even now, no matter how mad he was at her, he couldn't stand to see this distress in her body language. Grimacing, the man gently swung a hand along a pole, feeling the dampness in the knitting.

Kagome heard his footsteps, and turned around abruptly. Her hands clutched her chest as she inspected him. "What do you want?"

InuYasha looked down at his shoes, shuffling them around. He felt like a teenager again. Having to suffer the humiliation of telling your first love you liked them.

"If you're not going to say anything you may as well leave." Kagome said defiantly, brushing hair from her face.

The man nodded, and looked out to the hungry sea. His hands quivered as he stepped closer to her, finding her. She needed him, and he knew that. If he had left without her, the girl would have fallen apart and became a decoration, instead of a person.

Licking his lip, he found her hand and grabbed it, pulling her into his chest. She gripped to him, reveling his in his warmth and that smell. She breathed him in as he held her. Kagome's mind wandered to the treacherous territories she'd seldom gone and it frightened her.

A few blurry minutes had passed when his hand snuck in between them, raising her chin up. Kagome's eyes quaked with an unpresidented emotion. It was raw, viseral, and genuine. It wasn't something that she had to pretend.

InuYasha chewed at his lip as he mulled over what to say. "I won't leave without you, but you know what you have to do. I won't leave you alone here. I can't make the choices you're going to have to make."

Kagome wasn't expecting honesty. She was expecting an explosion of colors and fire melting her from her very center. Instead, it was this. This rationality that she didn't want. But, instead of fighting, she turned her eyes away and nodded.

InuYasha sighed in relief as he let his hand glide along her arm. "Come on, lets go to the hospital and get your things."

Kagome resented the heartbreak she was about to cause. It was needless. Was this a message he was trying to get across to her? If it was, it was cruel. With a sigh, she followed him back towards the town.

As she looked over her shoulder at the murky waves, she felt her old life slip from between her fingers. What laid before her was something that she could barely imagine. Whether it was good or not, well, that was up to the interpretation of what would have been considered such.

AN:

I'm tinkering with the next chapter tonight so I can have it posted in the morning.

Thanks for all of the support so far. I'm happy to be back and writing again.

Let me know what you think; Too much, too little.

:)

~ Jiru