I am sooo sorry I didn't update in so long! Now I have holidays, so I'll do my best and write some chapters.
Sorry for my English, as always. If you notice some mistakes, please let me know!
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. I mean... C'mon!
Previously:
"Beckett , I know what you're gonna say, but you are not fine. Period. Here's what's gonna happen: I call the precinct and tell them you caught some virus. Esposito and Ryan can handle this. We are going to your apartment. You'll take the bath, I order in some Chinese..."
"Castle..." She stands and collects her jacket and badge, he following her soon after.
"... and then we'll talk about the cut on your arm" Beckett pales. "What? You think I didn't notice? Kate... I observe you for a living."
The ride to Beckett's apartment is quiet and uneventful. She decided that there's no point in arguing with this man. This sweet, caring man...
She didn't protest when he gently put his hand on her back steering her out of the building and into her Crown Vic. She didn't protest when he extended his hand expectantly, waiting for car keys. He didn't ask, didn't pry. She didn't protest when he gently put his hand on her shoulder and guide her, first to the elevator and then to her apartment.
"Here we are... Go ahead, take a bath and relax. I'm going to run to the store. Knowing you, your fridge is either empty or full of things that I'd prefer not to touch and..."
"Castle... You don't have to..." Beckett cuts in. All she wants is to curl up on her bed and cry. Alone.
"Oh, but I want to, so give up already. You know I won't let go." He answers with warm and encouraging smile, practised for years with Alexis.
"Yeah, you don't let go..." Detective murmurs almost mutely.
"What?"
"Nothing. I'll go have that bath. Is that okay, dad?" She works up to some teasing.
"Funny!" He sticks his tongue at her and starts heading to the front door. "I'll be back as fast as I can. Enjoy your bath. The images I have in my head are sooo inappropriate, Beckett..." She catches him saying as the door closes.
When Beckett emerges from her bathroom, amazing smell hits her. After popping on old, 3 sizes too big NYPD hoddie, she goes back to the living room. Castle's humming some unrecognizable song, bustling in her kitchen. He hasn't noticed her yet. That gives her some time to unashamedly watch him. He looks so 'at home' and sooo happy! She must smile.
"What are we eating?"
"Jesus! Beckett! Do you want me to have a heart attack?" Castle exclaims and drops fork he was holding. She looks beautiful. Dressed in leggings and huge hoddie. Her hair wet. Her face free of any makeup, wearing only her smile.
"Heaven forbid! Who else would supply me with coffee and food then?" She laughs and comes closer to stand beside him.
"Good to know why you keep me close..." Castle acts offended.
"Yeah, yeah... End with it. You didn't answer my question. What are we eating?" She asks bumping his shoulder lightly.
"I thought mac&cheese would be the best taking the circumstances... "
"Comfort food, huh? OK. Let's eat. I should have some wine somewhere."
"So, you're ready to talk now?" He asks her.
They both sit on her couch. Glasses full of just poured wine in their hands. A moment ago they finished cleaning the dishes. Together, cause Kate didn't let Castle cleaning by himself. His question makes her stiffen, he can see that, but Castle has no intention letting in to.
"Couldn't we just forget it? You fed me. I'm fine, so just..." She smiles at him and prays for him to just blow it off.
"Kate..." He turns in her direction and looks at her seriously. "I'm not gonna let it go. I've already gave you a head start. I pretended that I didn't see what's going on with you, but it's gone way too far. This case, your behaviour and now those bandages on your forearm. So, I'll sit here until you tell me what's going on."
"I don't know how..." She mutters.
Suddenly, the importance of this conversation hits her. If she's gonna tell him about PTSD it'll be clear that she remembers the day of her shooting as well as his words. What then?
"The beginning would be the best..." Castle jokes, but laugh dies in his throat seeing Kate's eyes glisten with unshed tears. "God... I'm sorry. I am an ass..."
"No, you're not. If someone deserves the truth, it's you..." Beckett smiles at him sadly. "Whatever you're gonna think of me after this conversation, I just want you to know, that at the time it seemed to be the best solution. Least worst. Doesn't mean it excuse my actions..."
"Kate... Please, just say it. It's not like I'm gonna hate you. You can't rid of me that easily..." Writer says lightly.
"I hope so, Castle. I hope so..." She looks him straight in the eye. Remember you love me, Castle. "I have PTSD."
"Oh..."
So?
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