Hey guys! :D What's up? Well, the ceiling/sky, of course. Well, I'm going to make this short: if you like it, favourite or story-alert it. If you love it and want me to improve or force me to update quickly, review it XP. Seriously, although this may sound a little egotistical, reviews make my day and send me humming on the way to school! I love hearing what people think. And, oh, if you have any ideas for pranks, message me! Who knows? Maybe Hikaru or Rin might use them . . . *winks* Ciao! BTW, does anyone know a way for line breaks? Whenever I use solo ~'s, it doesn't show up . . . :/
Chapter Three
Mushroom Kings, Devil Princes, and the Minstrels of Bewilderment
Hikaru
If you happened to ask any member of the Host Club that hated Rin Gota more than hate itself, Hikaru Hitachiin would probably the first in the list, and break the world record of hate that even existed in the first place. But if you asked him what amused him the most these days, his answer would surprise even the smartest of all people—well, saving Kyoya, who had the intuition of a damned woman.
"So, Karou, what do you these days?" a girl asked. Hikaru had forgotten her name—Asa, or something like that? All he knew that it started with the letter A. "Anything that amuses you?"
His twin shrugged casually. "I don't really do that much alone. I always go with Hika-chan, because he always knows what to do."
God. This day was so predictable. Say a corny line, Karou would reply, just say something romantic back, and then pull faces closer while waiting for Karou to say "Hikaru—". Cue the nose-bleeding, the squealing, and the occasional incident of an unfortunate girl fainting. Of course, Kyoya would take care of her, since there couldn't be any mistakes under his watch recorded in his blasted black notebook . . .
". . . Hikaru, are you alright?" Another girl tapped him on the shoulder. "Or are you Karou-chan?"
"No, you idiot," Asa chided. "That's Hikaru-chan, of course! Karou just said his lines."
"Oh, yeah!" The girl put a palm to her face, clearly embarrassed. "Sorry! I always get you two mixed-up. You're so identical that it makes my head spin!" She chuckled nervously.
Great. Even they noticed. Fixing a coy smile on his face, he beamed back at the now blushing two. "No, it's no problem. I'm just a bit tired, since Karou kept me up all night," he lied fluently, as if the art of deception had been his first language.
"You should've told me!" In an instant, Karou's expression shifted to a face a guilty murderer would have. "I said if you didn't want to we could stop, but why do you do those things if it ruins your health? I can't let that happen!"
"It's alright, Karou." He cupped Karou's cheeks, pulling him closer to himself. "I'd do anything for you. You're the only one I live for."
"Hikaru—"
Asa squealed, as the predicted amount of blood poured out of her nostrils. Meanwhile, her companion simply sighed in delight, and then promptly crashed onto the floor. Hikaru noticed from the corner of his eye that Kyoya was typing a number into his cell-phone, mostly likely calling the nurse to send somebody to pick her up.
A few seconds earlier than the expected time, Hikaru removed his hand and stopped looking at Karou, pointedly turning his head away. The act was over anyways, and, it was getting boring to pretend that he had any romantic intentions with his brother. Really boring. Why weren't they doing something better, like their glory days? There had been around twenty confession letters in his locker earlier. Twenty girls they could have fun with rejecting, and twenty times more fun than watching girls swoon over the two.
"Please also fetch Miss Ayama please," Kyoya spoke to the phone. "I'm afraid she may suffer from blood loss in any moment if no help arrives. Yes, thank you. I really appreciate your cooperation."
"Hey, Karou," Hikaru whispered, right after the two girls were escorted by a buff man to the nurse's room. "Do you want to ditch the rest of the club? We have no customers left, so we could probably head back home and do something else. How about try that new video game the fat lady gave us?"
"Eh?" Karou raised an eyebrow in response. "But we always stay behind until everyone's done."
"Aren't you bored with this routine?" Hikaru questioned. "I sure am."
"What do you mean?"
He sighed. How could he not know this? "Play nice with everyone. Go to Host Club. Flirt with each other. Watch other girls almost die for weird reasons. Go home. Wash, rinse, and repeat. It's getting tiring. Don't tell me to get another toy—the last one was broken, and had no use."
Hikaru wasn't so sure if he saw agreement or a glittering spark in his brother's eyes. "There are other, newgirls that transferred," Karou reminded him. "New girls."
"Are you suggesting the Gota girl?" Hikaru snickered. "She hates both of us."
"Wouldn't that make the challenge more fun than just pranking and annoying her?" Karou persisted. "Think about it. If she ends up falling in love with you, at least you can taunt her in the last round."
"What's the use in trying to woo her?" Hikaru grinned devilishly. "No one can resist the Hitachiin charm, even if they're doing something unsuited to their tastes. I bet she'll fall for me anyway, even if I don't try."
Although this kind of exchange was normal, something about his brother's words nagged a corner of his mind. Why would Karou be so worried about Rin in the first place? She was nothing to them. A commoner; a girl missing the ability to keep her mouth shut. Sure, maybe she had the potential to be pretty—if she bothered letting her hair down and fixing the wrinkles in her clothes—and had a fiery attitude: the perfect one for a toy. Well, Karou could be pretty simple-minded at times . . .
"Do you like Rin?"
"What?" Karou choked. A look of bewilderment crossed his face. "Where did you get thatidea?"
"Of course! It makes perfect sense!" Suddenly, Renge appeared out of nowhere, with a big, cheesy grin. She propped herself between the twins, her eyes somehow looking sly and carefree at the same time. "I get it now!" she cackled evilly. "Karou is trying to protect Rin!"
"Where's your revolving-machine thingy?" the two asked in unison. Even in the middle of a commoner crisis, they were still as conjoined as ever.
Renge's expression fell. "The gears and the wires got twisted. Daddy said he would send somebody to repair it today, but the repairman hasn't come yet. Anyways—let's get to the real problem: LOVE!" Her face brightened considerably after saying that. "Does Karou-chan like the new commoner?"
"No," was his quick response.
"Come on," Renge pressed. "Just say you do, and don't worry, we won't get mad!"
Hikaru knew she meant it. But that didn't mean she wouldn't start ranting and squealing about it. They weren't stupid—Renge had been here for quite awhile by now.
Karou's sweat dropped, obviously getting a bit annoyed. "She's not my type—"
"—so you're gay?"
"Of course not!" If it was possible, Karou looked more taken aback. "I told you, she's not my type!"
"What's going on?" Honey asked, with Mori trailing behind him as always. Half a slice of chocolate cake was on a plate in his hands, and he took another bite of the pastry, continuing, "I heard Karou yelling. Did Hikaru scare you with a ghost tale or something?" He shuddered as he swallowed. "Hikaru-kun can be so creepy when he wants to be! One time, he told me a ghost story about a bloody lady, and I had nightmares for three days! Right, Mori-chan?"
"Yes," the senpai answered in his usual flat tone.
"Nothing major," Hikaru replied cheerfully, unable to resist himself from taking the opportunity to do something mean aside from 'the commoner' or Tono, while Renge eyed the blonde senior shrewdly. "We're just debating the statistics on whether my brother is straight or not. So far, the latter is winning, with a total of two votes. Care to chip in your thoughts?"
"I told you, I'm not gay!" The last word was practically screamed. "Since when did this come up in the first place?"
"Denial." Renge nodded. "One sign."
Honey scrunched up his eyebrows. "Well . . ." he began. "If he says he's not, I don't think he is. Karou-chan is usually open about these kinds of things."
"Thank you, Honey-senpai," Karou said gratefully. "Thanks a lot—"
"Wait." A girl who was currently designated with Tamaki stood up, facing the two siblings with a confused frown. "So if you're not gay, that means you aren't in love with Hikaru?"
Oh, great . . . Hikaru looked back furtively to check if Kyoya was there. Unfortunately, the vice president was sitting on the couch, pretending to type something in his laptop. No one else except for Hikaru could notice the cold, steely glare Kyoya gave to his direction. Fix this, his eyes said darkly, before returning to whatever he was doing.
Nobody liked it when Mommy was upset. Just before Karou could open his mouth to mutter something, Hikaru jumped in to avoid the wrath of the Shadow King. "Karou doesn't like other guys because he only likes me," said the redhead, turning to his twin. "Right . . . my love?"
"Hikaru—" Karou mouthed, just as Hikaru drew him closer.
"KYA!" squealed the girls in delight, even the ones who didn't designate the twins in the first place. This time, more than a couple of girls fainted. The nurse's office was going to have a field day. As he 'remained in position' for a few more minutes, he caught Kyoya raising his eyebrows in approval, before dialling something in his cellphone again.
As they remained in position for a few more seconds, gazing into each other's eyes, Hikaru wondered vaguely why the customers liked these kinds of things. Was it because they were bored, or were they minions-in-training of Renge? Hikaru liked to think it was a mixture of the two, although he didn't need an encyclopedia to tell him his answers were utterly false.
Before he knew it, the day was over in a blink. Suddenly, he realized in a daze he was sitting on a couch, a cup of jasmine tea in his hands. He remembered Karou and he had decided to stay, so they wouldn't upset Kyoya more than they already had. Renge had already vanished an hour ago, rushing towards her limo when it was announced her contraption-revolving-thing was ready. Hikaru sat up straighter, trying to get a current grasp of his situation. Spazzing out didn't happen often, but once in a blue moon, it occurred, with only his brother noticing.
From what was going on, Hikaru gathered they were talking about the next theme for the club. Since the materials for the Arabian cosplay was going to be delayed a bit due to bad weather conditions from the usual supplier, they had to quickly decide on a costume idea for the next week. With a half-day tomorrow and a Sunday ahead of them, they had plenty of time to prepare something else.
"I say we dress Haruhi in a cute dress for the next event!" Tamaki squealed. "I bet she'll look so—"
"No way in hell, sensei," Haruhi deadpanned.
Kyoya shot the King a look. "Tamaki, we already talked about this." He turned his eyes to the twins, pushing up his glasses. "By the way, good job handling yourselves there," he said off-handily. "But next time, keep yourselves in check, okay? If not . . . we're going to have a bit of trouble."
"Yes," Karou responded, angling his head to Haruhi, who was right next to him. "Although I'm sure I'm not the only one who would like to see Haruhi in a dress again—"
"You shall not harm my daughter!" Tamaki screeched. "I don't trust her with you two, malicious twins! Kyoya, make them stop!"
It was kind of weird how Tamaki's words were wrong. Only one of them was teasing her. Hikaru looked at his fingernails, checking for dirt. He didn't give a damn about the two anymore—in his head, especially that brunette, as they were old news. They were both unneeded toys, tossed away in search of something more pleasing.
"You're over-exaggerating," Haruhi said dully. "It's not a big deal."
"Not a big deal?" The King's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head at any moment. "They could take your everything! Your house, your money, your life, your—"
"Shut up."
Tamaki spent the rest of the period cultivating a patch of mushrooms at the corner.
Hikaru snickered loudly, quite amused at the Frenchman's actions. If he was so dense, then why did she even like him? Life was one big mystery. Out of nowhere, Karou turned to him, looking a bit exasperated as he met his eyes. Weird. What was going on with him these days? Was Rin really the culprit, or was it something or somebody else?
"Now that's over," Kyoya said, seemingly indifferent to the change in his closest friend, "any ideas? We're running out of time here."
"What about butlers and maids?" Honey jumped in eagerly. "That way, we could have more fun and food to have!"
"Last resort," Kyoya said. "Have you ever heard of a suitable caterer willing to prepare some desserts for only two days on a minimum wage? Next."
"Nekomimi?" Hikaru and Karou offered, more for the sake of suggesting than looking for good ideas.
"Emperors?" Haruhi asked.
It seemed like the Shadow King's patience had run out by the time those two words were offered. He inhaled a sharp breath. Exasperation as clear as crystal in his eyes, he tapped his pen on the laptop agitatedly. "No and no."
"Well, what can you suggest then?" Karou asked. "You keep on turning down our ideas, so you might as well offer something up. With the exception of Mori, of course. He doesn't really—"
Suddenly, a deep, dark sound came from Mori's mouth. "Animals," he said with a blink.
It was like a thousand light bulbs had summoned Tamaki back to reality as he jolted backwards, his head hitting the wall. "Ja!" the blonde crowed, oblivious to the giant bruise on top of his head. "I have come up with the best idea in the world—dressing up into animals!"
No other silence was as loud as the one residing in the Host Club as their eyes turned into shards of glass, slicing and cutting him down—except for Honey, who was just pouting due his idea getting rejected. The King widened his eyes, scared, and shrank deeper into the corner of the corner.
"Well," Haruhi began, "that was a pretty decent idea." She smiled at Mori. "Nice!"
"That is certainly profitable," Kyoya could be heard murmuring, just as Tamaki started wailing something about his girlfriend not paying attention to him. "I agree."
Honey let out a grin of approval. "I'm okay with it, if Kyoya agrees."
As the twins raised their hands and said, "Sure", Mori nodded. Karou looked at Tamaki. "You, Tono?"
"Or are you too busy right now?" Hikaru asked. "You know, I could always—"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Tamaki screamed. "MOMMY! SAVE ME!"
Yeah, this was a barrel's worth of laughter.
"You're old enough to handle yourself." Kyoya turned away from Tamaki and faced the others. "Send emails to the twins if you want to claim a certain costume as usual. If you want to go, then do it now." He didn't even bother adding anything else. It was typical of Kyoya—he always got straight to the point.
With a cheerful promise to bring some cake for the next meeting and a wave, Honey left the room, on top of unsmiling Mori's shoulders. Haruhi immediately dashed towards the door, yelling something about meeting her cousin—although Hikaru didn't really care much on what she said or did—with a suddenly cheerful Tamaki following her steps.
Before Hikaru and Karou could go out too, Kyoya put a hand on Karou's shoulder. "I need you here for a moment," he said. "Hikaru, go ahead."
Hikaru knew there had to be something more to that. "What, you two're going to go make out in the corner?" He sneered.
"Although yaoi funds ten-percent our club, no, I'm not interested in that type of relationship with your brother or any man," Kyoya replied bluntly. "Now, go."
Honestly, he didn't really care at all. Karou and he had always told each other everything, even if they didn't want to hear it, like the time Karou told Hikaru about Haruhi's first date with Tamaki happening at some commoner's fast-food place, and when Hikaru told Karou in return he was wearing the school uniform when there were no classes. So as shrugged again and said, "I'll meet you at the limo," to Karou, he sped off, feeling the bewildered gaze of Karou press against Kyoya and himself.
As he climbed down the stairs, smiling at a clan of girls who were huddled like a pack of wolves, he realized it was a bit weird not having Karou at his side right now. These days, it seemed like his brother was trying to stay with him at all time, as if he had to cling on to him forever, and questioning every single thing he did. Hikaru wondered what had happened to him. They weren't doing anything illegal or questionable, and nor were they making fun of someone—saving Gota, of course. Then what was his deal?
It's probably nothing, Hikaru thought. Karou's strange from time to time. If anything abnormal's going on, it's most likely someone cloned him or whatever, like in that movie.
And there he walked off, without a single other thought—well, at least until at least a foot stuck out of nowhere.
Although that was quite unexpected, he was used to it thanks to the pranks he and his twin had played on past maids. Hikaru nimbly jumped over, grinning wildly as he saw Rin's face coated with frustration. "What, peasant?" he quipped. "That's the prank you were planning to do?"
To her credit, she managed to get rid of her anger pretty quickly. "'Course not," she said darkly. "I have something better in store."
Hikaru almost felt like laughing at her cheesy words. Who was she, to think she could try and play with the devil? It was like watching a mouse ask a cheetah to a brawl: an instant invitation to suicide. "What's next? You're planning to glue me to a wall? Face it, this attempt was somewhat decent, but still a big fail. If you don't think you can play some more, I suggest you walk away. Now," he taunted, purposely dangling a tempting bait.
"You think I would just back away from a challenge?" Rin barked. Just what he had expected.
"Excellent. Now, question time: you like me, don't you?"
Admittedly, her answer shocked him slightly.
"What?" Rin looked up with him with utter bewilderment. "Why the hell would you think I would like some guy who tried to make my life miserable and glued all my textbooks together? Do you even know how much one even costs? Like, a million yen!"
Hikaru didn't say anything for a moment, jaw hanging wide. "Eh?"
"To get into the number position, it requires months of hard training!" Rin ranted, not finished yet. "How am I supposed to do that on the weekends when I don't have anything to look for reference? Some of my notes were written in the book, you idiot! Now thanks to you, my rank will drop by two points!"
"If your rank drops, that's because you're not good enough," Hikaru interjected, finally getting over his initial shock. She was probably bluffing . . . right? "I can ace any exam without studying."
"But I don't see the number one sign hanging over your head." She smirked.
"That's because I choose not to be number one."
"Maybe that's because you're just an idiot!" Before Rin could say anything else, the giant clock chimed, signalling it was three pm. Her face crumpled to red. "Crap, I have a shift in thirty minutes!" After letting out a stream of curses she looked up to Hikaru balefully. "Just watch your back, okay . . . Hitachiin-san?" The honorific was spat out like the word was vile. "I would be careful if I were you."
Wow. She was stupid. "You're the one with the scholarship. I'd watch your back if I were you. Later, Rin." Before he could let her have the last insult—using her name without an honorific could probably piss her off enough—he brushed passed her, heading towards the exit. He could wait for Karou in the limo—
Crash!
Suddenly, Hikaru found himself stumbling to the ground. For a second he thought he was going to crash to the ground, but as if the Fates had other plans, his arms instantly lunged for the pillar in front of him. Hikaru managed to stop himself from hitting the ground, but anything left from his newfound relief vanished when he heard Rin's evil cackle.
"Was that your big plan?" Hikaru said dryly, forcing the rest of his emotions away. "Wow. I was sobbing with fear."
"Y-you know that prank was awesome, and you fell for it," Rin said between choked giggles, not bothering to cover her mouth. Her brown hair bounced up and down like cascades of water as her shoulders jittered violently. "I knew that something like this would happen, so I just asked what time you usually finished from the rest of your fan club. You finished later than usual though without Karou, so I had to distract you for a couple of seconds to decrease suspicion. And no, that's—that's not all of it."
"And it looks like the book prank was only the beginning."
"Yeah. Ready to back down yet?"
Hikaru smiled angelically. "Nope."
Rin saluted mockingly. "Then worst of luck to you, Hitachiin." With her wry grin and posture, she almost looked kind of cute like she wasn't that ugly.
"Worst of luck too. So, did you happen to leave any more traps ahead? I really don't want to risk my new jeans getting dirty."
Rin put her hands into her pockets. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she said. "Traps? I'm just innocent girl being attacked by some idiot devil."
Karou
He felt really, really awkward being alone with the Shadow King. And it wasn't just because they were the sixth-most desirable pairing according to fan polls. Maybe that contributed to the weirdness, but—eh, what was he even thinking? Was Renge's fangirl tendencies starting to grow on him, or—
"Karou, are you still listening?" said Kyoya.
"Ah, sorry," Karou replied, now looking back to the dark-haired boy. "I was just wondering about Hikaru."
"That is the thing I want to talk to you about," Kyoya said abruptly. "Make him stay away from the Gota girl."
Karou blinked once. "Eh?"
"Hikaru. Force him to stay away. From Rin Gota," Kyoya added emphasis to each word. "Would you need me to translate that in English or German?"
"Nein," Karou said hastily, head spinning slightly. What were his reasons for doing this, and why was he doing this in the first place? He decided to voice his concerns aloud.
Kyoya smiled—the kind of bright, sunny smile he reserved for occasions whenever he was annoyed. "First of all, although he's managing to cover it up decently in front of the other customers, one day, he'll mess if this goes on, which shall damper profits by approximately twenty-three percent. I am also sure that you may be able to coax Hikaru out of his mood, given the right conditions. Finally, there is no use wasting time pulling whatever tricks on Gota. Although it might add some extra gossip and rooting amongst the customers, it will get old sooner or later, and unwanted attention may be directed towards the club. Besides, I don't see any advantages coming out from petty battles with a scholarship student."
How did he manage to say that in almost one breath? "You planned this all out, didn't you?" Karou facepalmed. "Can't you just let this pass for a few days?"
Kyoya scribbled something on a stray clipboard. "Why should I do that?" he asked, not looking up.
"Because unlike you, surprisingly, I don't have the ability to think of flawless plans in seconds?" He sighed. "I supposed you won't just give me the solution right away, won't you?"
"I'd be willing to exchange a bargain if the both of you gave another ten extra hours," Kyoya said immediately.
"Not happening," Karou shot back, almost as quick as Kyoya's response. "So, I have to . . . make him stay away from Rin?" He held his hands up in the air when Kyoya looked at him. "Okay, okay! Don't worry, I've got it."
He had no freaking clue what he was going to do. While he did agree with Kyoya's points, privately, he thought there was no other way Hikaru was going to fully get over Haruhi without something distracting him. Rin was that distraction, not to mention one that wouldn't get damaged easily. If he followed Kyoya's words, there was a chance that Hikaru would permanently turn into that 'grade-A asshole'. On the other hand, if he went against Kyoya . . . Karou shivered at the memory of the Demon King's eyes. Karou was as lost as a lamb sheep.
Although there was something that Karou couldn't catch in Kyoya's eyes—and he didn't dare to dig in deeper in fear—he shrugged, 'carefree' smile vanishing. "Try to make them stop by the end of the week. From what I've seen and heard from Gota so far, she'll make a small attack either by this afternoon or early morning. Depending on who's the most idiotic, one will strike first, and they'll be the talk of the academy. Try to get on both sides. Remember: you may have loyalties for your brother, but this'll be good for both of them. Get it?"
Karou nodded. Then, he realized what Kyoya had just said. "What'll benefit Rin?" he asked, brows narrowing in bewilderment. "She seems fine with the whole thing, save the fact that she blew a casket when we pulled the other prank on her earlier. She'd be almost in the same boat, with or without the Host Club."
"She has other issues going on," Kyoya answered. "Surely you don't expect one's life to revolve around the academy always, yes?"
He was hiding something about Rin. Technically, it wasn't exactly hiding—Kyoya never just disclosed details about things he thought were irrelevant. Karou just didn't know what it was, but he wasn't going to be able to figure out the whole situation out if he didn't try a little harder.
Karou forced a broad smirk and he snapped his fingers with gusto. "Okay! Agent Hitachiin, reporting to—" His voice faltered when he saw Kyoya's obviously unamused expression.
"You may go now."
Karou had never, ever wanted to hear those words as much as he did now.